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Date: 11/18/00 4:14:45 PM Central Standard Time
From: [email protected]
UF: "UFfers Of Olde,when Stomach's were bold!"
By: Susan Ellen Field
Disclaimer: I dont own the guys, or anyone else, just using and abusing....
As Usual,all UFfers are used without permission (G)
Beta read? yeah, tell me another good one!......
This is dedicated to all my Unnamed Buds :)
Gather round Gentle Readers, and I shall relate to you a story of courageous
people!!
Our UFfish forbears that took that journey to the new Land way back in 1620!
Susan took a book out of her bookcase (which after all is the logical place
for a book to be,and opened it up.
She began to speak to her Buds gathered around the table.
"As you all know, This great holiday, started because Benjamin Franklins idea
of naming the Turkey as the national bird symbol of America,somehow didn't
pan out )LOL) well, maybe it did after all!
(This taken from the Susan book"Screwing around with history,when you can't
have the man you want")
Anyhow....needing to do something with the dang bird, someone had the
strange idea of making a Holiday out of everyone eating the same meal on the
same day...
Well, way before ole Ben got his fork into the bird, our Ancesters decided a
few things about that bird also...so sit back, relax, listen to the story,
and give thanks that you dont have to eat anything in this story
........yet.........
The Mayflower 1620,........
"Everybody off!! We have arrived!" shouted the Captain as the passengers got
off the ship".
"And where might we be?" Jules said looking around, adjusting her FK pilgrim
hat.
"Your in the New Land!!" Said the Captain, tossing thier stuff on the ground.
"But I thought that the ship was taking us to Kmart!" said Susan.
"Can't Susan, It hasen't been invented yet!" said Lora, gathering up her
leather pilgrim skirt.
"Then how do we get to the after Thanksgiving day sale?"
This question was lost to the moment, "aren't ya glad?".....
Well folks,the journey had been a tough one, and it looked like things were
going to get even tougher for the Uffers of olde....
You see, winter was fast approching,and they had no shelter,not much food,
(having eaten almost all the honey sticks they brought with them from
England.)
and even worse!! no cable tv !
Pilgrim Goody Jules was looking around... she had been recording the journey
on the hull of the ship, but now,alas, where could she preserve thier
adventures?
"YES!!" she cried out, spotting a huge rock near the waters edge...
She sat down, and began to carve the date: 1620......
(Bet you all wondered just who put that there!, well, now you know!!)
She was about to carve in the latest Uffer Pilgrim chat, when she heard
pilgrim Goody Gail come running in and out of the waves...
"Cold weather coming! everyone build a house or something!"
And so it was that Pilgrim Uffers Lora, Gail, April,Lorelei,Jules,
Julia,Susan,Marilyn, and several Kellys,built a cabin,(as you know, all
Uffers log on and off)!!! and so the wood was available!
So anyhow, before the really cold weather settled in, the Uffers did a
complete search of thier new country, just to see if maybe Nick was still
around with his pilgrim friend,(you know, the guy that hung himself cause he
saw him fly!),well, after seeing that he wasen't in town at the moment, they
decided to ride out the cold...
See above as to the reason why they couldn't ride it out with Nick! or "ON"
Nick!")
The winter had been a harsh one,other pilgrims didn't make it,but UFfers
being tough mother""""""
"What you say?" "HEY!" I'm talkin about Shaft!"...
(Well as you all know, when UFfers talk about Shaft, they dont nessesarily
mean the feature film! )
*************************************1621
**************************************
At long last the winter was over,flowers began blooming, Hay fever season was
beginning, and Pilgrim Uffers stepped out of the cabin that was filled with
empty ale bottles....
"Hey you know" said Susan smiling, happily taking in the splender of her
surroundings.
"I think that now that winter has passed, along with all the gas from Shan's
tofu stew,we should celebrate being in the new Land!"
The other Uffish pilgrims had to agree...not only because it was Susan
writing this story, but since there wasen't anything else to do since the
first Nigel con was still centurys away, they decided it was an okay idea.
Now it was about this time that the Wampanoag Indians came to meet and greet
the UFfer Pilgrims and share with them how to grow stuff, and make popcorn
from recycled *Fears *rewrites...
Months passed.....(dont you all wish, cause then you could stop reading this!)
a hearty crop of honey Sticks grew in the garden.
And so a huge table was set up and the Uffish pilgrims and the Wampanoag
indians all sat down to share in the feast to celebrate and give thanks!!
(this was of course later recorded on a treaty that Vachon signed (He liked
to sign those things, dontcha know!) and hidden in a painting that you can
buy in Walmart for $19.99
Folks, let me tell ya, that very first Thanksgiving was not the one you know
now!!!
It didn't have stuffing, or cranberry sauce outta the can....
It didn't have cool whip, or frozen pies you can put in the oven..or
marshmellows and yams...
"Well what the heck did they eat? " said Sandra making a guest appearence....
""Hmmm, said Susan checking online.
"Well, according to this they ate corn, and geese and
ducks,eel,clams,leeks,plums,cod ,bass(not to be confussed with Ben) and
barley,and corn bread, and Green eggs and Ham...
"What about a Turkey?" Asked Marilyn?
"Your reading one, isn't that enough?" Asked Julia who sat back in her seat
:).
The Feast lasted three days, but the Uffers heartburn would be Eternal, you
see, Pilgrim Susan cooked most of the dishes, and even made some food on the
side as well !
And now that the meal was over, the Uffers left the large table to repair
thier make-up.
Lora was dismayed,seems that she left her make-up bag on the ship...
"Is this what your looking for?" Asked April.
"Why yes it is bud!! Thats the Mayflower compact!" (G)
(Bet you all wondered how that part of history happened too!)
Susan closed the book... it was time to eat....
She looked up to see that everyone gathered around.Thier joyful looks, thier
love filled hearts, thier bliss knowing this story was ending any moment
now....
Everyone held hands and bowed thier heads, As Jules led the Thanks....
"Rub a dub dub, thanks for the grub"
"Okay guys, dig in!" said Susan, passing around the bowls.
(while secretly, Lora and Julia passed around the Tums and Pepto)
And later, because the Uffers were hungrey like the wolf, (Duran,Duran
moment inserted there), they dug in till the plates were all empty.
"Jules!! how did you know I used Grubs in the stuffing?" that was my secret
ingrediant!!" said Susan
The End.....
And remember the Uffish saying of olde... "No meal is complete till it comes
back to meet and greet!"
Happy Thanksgiving to all My Uffish buds!!!!!
Love Susan :)
[email protected]
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