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UF: Gobble-De-Gook Disclaimer: I only borrow as many FK characters as I can for use in my story. the actually belong to JP and company, but he doesn't use them, so I will. maybe.. kinda :)= all UFfers appearing throughout as usual without anyone's permission :) Beta Read? no way! I know what your thinking, another season, another reason for Susan to torment us with her strange story's, bad spelling and even worse grammar.. and well, your right! Here is yet another, so sit right back, take a huge drink of something strong and read.... 2001..... "Geez, talk about turkeys, that was one of the worse movies I ever watched!" said Julia as the UFfers stepped into the theatre lobby. "I know what you mean", said Janet coming out of lurking by the ticket counter. "Just can't seem to get used to pilgrims singing and dancing on a ship to 70's disco music". "Guess the title "Shake your bounty" should have given us a klew" said Gail stepping out of the ladies room, then feeling like she wasn't done, stepped back in. (Now its at this point in the story that your wondering Where is Susan? okay, well maybe your not, but anyhow, wonder no more.) "Where were you?" Asked April who up to now had not made an appearance, being on California time. "Sorry, I overheard somebody say something about big buns and being the UFfer that I am, rushed over. Turned out to be a sale on extra long frankfurters". Everyone looked at each other for a silent moment, grabbing the Uffish thought while it came. Susan continued as she ate..... "So I guess your still talking about the movie, huh?" "We have to Susan, you wrote us into this, so we have to say what you type in!" Said Jules. "I have to agree, that movie was pure fiction! BUTT I have the true story of UFsgiving! "Come over here guys to the snack table, I want to tell you about the very first UFsgiving!". And so the large group that was becoming larger for some strange reason, sat down to listen to the tale.. ................................ 1620, well, maybe a few weeks or months before! The Group of UFfish pilgrims stood on the dock to board the ship that would take them to the new world. All the Uffers wore matching black & White pilgrim outfits, which they bought on sale at Ye olde Walmart. Except for Jules whose outfit was bright orange :) "All Aboard"!! The Captain yelled... "Yeah, we are all A-bored all right!" said Julia as she tried to make sense of this story.... Time passed, along with other things as they were in tight quarters with alot of other pilgrims who ate ,well, basically whatever it was that pilgrims ate... 2001 "Wait a minute Susan, are you telling us that all our ancestors traveled to the New world on the Mayflower? Said Lorelei, who was tapping to the Dance music coming from the next showing of the pilgrim flick. "Mayflower? did I say Mayflower?" no Lorelei, Actually the UFfish pilgrims had missed that ship having been bumped out at the last minute due to scheduling problems. They caught the next ship out, "The Wallflower". Lora squinted her eyes." I never heard of that ship before Susan!". "Yeah, well that's because it was the ship that dared not speak its name"! "Really? Said Marilyn. "Absolutely" Said Susan continuing.... 1620.....or close enough... And so it was that the UfFish pilgrims at long last landed, and built their houses the very first set of Leggo's ever made, that pilgrim Jules had brought with her. Now having endured a long harsh winter, due to the fact that TV & VCR's weren't invented yet, so all the Canadian and American versions of FK tapes the Uffers brought with them could not be viewed for at least 300 years, making things really hard. "I have an idea!" Said Pilgrim Susan. The other pilgrims gasped in horror as Pilgrim Susan made this statement. ""Okay, lets have the idea Susan, only don't think I can work on it until at least five years from now!" said Pilgrim April. "Lets have a feast to celebrate the very first UFsgiving in the new land!". "Julia gasped in horror. "You mean, Eat?" she squinted her eyes.. "Who might be cooking this feast?". (And so Gentle readers, I suppose your guessing what happened next?" If so, you have made the wrong turn in this story, as nothing is ever what you expect in a Susan tale)..... 2001 "So what happened to the Pilgrims?" Did they have the feast?" Asked Marilyn. Susan, wiping her mouth which was covered in mustard, continued. "Actually, upon hearing that pilgrim Susan did indeed have the idea to cook the meal, the other Uffish Pilgrims grabbed her, and locked her in an iron mask ". "Wait a minute Susan, that's a different story!" "And so is this, isn't it?" Susan said (g). Well, suffice to say everyone agreed with that... "And so it was".. continued Susan, "That because our beloved ancestors prevented Pilgrim Susan from cooking the afore-mentioned feast to celebrate their first year in the New World, That its now known as UFsgiving. A time when they and we all give thanks for that one missed meal... "Hmmmm, makes sense in a strange way". Said Jules, printing out the entire story. "Yeah, who would have guessed the truth behind the generally accepted story of the Pilgrims journey and celebration?" Said Lorelei. WArning! This section and whatever might come after should be considered highly Uffish in nature! Rated R for ridiculous. could have been rated x, but then no one would be allowed in since all UFfers refuse to mature past the age of 15.... ****We now take a moment for a station break, bringing you a highlight from this years UFsgiving parade!****** "Yes folks, we are here, about a kabillion loud annoying marching bands have passed by already, while we wait for Santa's arrival at the end of this parade.. or Nick and LaCroix!!! So lets bring our mikes closer to the crowd... !!!!!!"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and takes 15 men to hold her down!"!!!!! Pulling the Mikes back up, since they were done (g) the announcer continued.. "Yeah folks, its defiantly an UFsgiving parade!" and who are those Mike guys anyhow? And now back to your regularly scheduled story torment..... "Well, guess we should all head home. Meet you all tomorrow night at my place for UFsgiving dinner!" Said Susan as she and April cleared a space in the back of Jules car to be driven home.. "Oh gads!!" Said Julia rolling her eyes." I knew this story was too good to be true, we actually will have to eat something before it ends!". "I heard that drinking alot of milk before coats the stomach Julia" Said Gail, appearing once again from the ladies room. "Nah, that's an old wives tale started by Susan. Said Laurie. "Have to agree with that, said Gail heading back in to the ladies room. ..................................................................... And so it was UFsgiving, when Uffers around the world gave thanks for this story's end coming soon.... "Did you remember to bring the pumpkin pie?" Said Julia to Jules. "Yup!" "Good!" I want us to make sure we have at least one food item that's digestible!". The group heard sounds coming from the inside of Susan's apartment. "Whew! That's one terrific Spread!" Aprils voice was heard saying.. "Guys!! listen!! something's going on in there!". Said Julia in a whisper. They all huddled to the keyhole." Can you see anything? whispered Jules? "No!" quick!! give me a beer bottle!" Said Julia... Jules handed her a cold one. "It needs to be empty!!" Said Julia, handing it back as she shook the liquid from her ear.. "Jules quickly downed its contents, as Julia grabbed it and put one end to her ear and one end to the door. It was then that Laurie stepped over. "Er, hate to break up this X-files moment (g) but there is a huge crack at the bottom of the door. If we all lay down, we could hear everything".. And so the Uffers in desperate need of a slash fix, all squished together and held their ears close to the crack at the bottom of the door. Suddenly they heard more coming from inside!! "Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist!" a voice said from inside.. "Oh man!! said Lora! "Okay, before you do that, just reach in and grab the giblets!" Said another voice. It was at this point that many UFfers had to sit up for a second and catch their breaths. It had been a long time since they heard anything like this!" "Its cool whip time!!" was heard from inside, and then finally... "It must be broken, cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out!" "You don't think they have Nick in LaCroix in there, do you? said Jules. Suddenly a loud booming male voice was heard saying "And he forces his way to the end zone!" "That's it! guys, We are going in!" With that, the UFfers as a collective force used all the strength they had to crash through the apartment door. Rising from the heap of sweaty, lust filled UFfers, Julia said" Where are they?" April who was startled, dropped the cool whip tube to the floor." Where is who?" she asked. "Don't give us that, we heard what you all were saying in here about grabbing giblets and tying legs!" Said Sandra who was making a really quick guest appearance.. "Oh that!, we were getting the turkey ready and preparing the pudding dessert." April said, laughing. "Sorry guys, but you know that this is my UFfish story and that no one gets anything really in one of these!". Susan Said, licking the remaining cool whip off the floor. "Its true, sorry everyone'. Said April who turned down the sound of the football game. Disappointed the gang of UFfers slowly collected themselves and sat around in various places in the apartment. "Should have known better!" mumbled Lora who whipped out a X-files story from her pocket that she printed out. Laurie sat next to her to read along. But despite the almost slashy turn this story took, a rare occurrence did happen, Susan's Ufsgiving meal actually turned out to be edible. Mostly because April made sure to do the cooking! Unfortunately, later on, Julia tried a few of Susan's after dinner mints.. which actually were buttons she was planning on sewing on her blouse later on, that she had left in an ash-tray... "Knighters everyone, thanks for coming!!" �Ciao guys, chat on Friday!" With that, The Uffers left Susan And April. "Anyone got milk? Asked Julia. Really need some stomach coating, those buttons are not sitting well in my stomach. "Next time try a zipper Julia!" Said Jules, as the group left for the street... "Okay guys, its safe to come out now!" said Susan. Slowly Nick and LaCroix emerged from their world of darkness,(also known as Susan's bedroom) and came into the living room. "Thought they would never leave!" Said April pulling out her Whip from the apron pocket. "So my dears, where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?" "Something about being so stuffed from the holiday you had to unbutton your pants?" Nick and LaCroix smiled. At last they would enjoy a slashy moment. It had been so long...... "And so Susan, April, and LaCroix settled in for a good Knight!!.... FINI And so my friends this brings us to another climax... (g) Hope you all enjoyed this new UFfish outing or inning whatever the case may be... Remember to take your cold showers and dream about the very next UFfish adventure that might come your way.... Love to all and very Happy Holiday!! Susan
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