Joel: The Animal Zoo proudly presents...
>Hatsu-koi
Tom: Hatsu-koi the story of two gay lovers ostracized by society
Crow: And three very funny jokers
>This story is supposed to be the third in a trilogy -- the first two, in
Joel: So shouldn't it be 'The Return of Hatsu-koi'
Tom: This is one set of prequels I would want to avoid
>order, being More Time and Obbligato. I wasn't originally going to post
Joel: Because of all the negative reviews and flames?
>this one, but have been pestered by someone who has read and loved it and
Tom: Vanished under mysterious circumstances!
>insisted that it's needed to complete the other two. So here it is;
Crow: The beating of our sanity: Take Two
>please note the lemon and yaoi warnings; it's not graphic, but it's
Joel: Enough to make you scream
>definitely there. Actually, it's less lemon than just a squeeze of
>citrus.
Tom: And just a glint of grapefruit
Crow: And a smidgen of strawberry
Joel: And a pinch of pear!
>Yaoi, for the uninformed, is used to refer to what my Japanese
Tom: ...Hitmen call 'Easy Target'
>acquaintances call 'boy-boy stuff'. If you've read the other two stories,
Crow: You have our sympathies
>then you know which boys are involved ^_^
Joel: Wills and Harry?
Tom: That's sick Joel
>And it's a little mushy, BTW, just in case you don't like mushy stuff
Crow: Mushy? As in soft and squishy?
>::wicked laughter::
Joel: She maybe a yaoi author but she has a sense of humour
>This is your last chance to back out, if you're not interested. Consider
Tom: Your life ended!
>yourself duly warned. ^_^
Crow: And remember keep smiling!
>Katchan
Joel: Does the RSPCA know about this?
>*******
Tom: Stars in their eyes?
>He walks beside me, hands in his pockets, almost relaxed. The only
Crow: Way I know what he's planning is by the gun he carried
>outward sign of his natural defensiveness is his quick eyes darting about,
Joel: They said the pick-up would be here but I don't see 'em!
>noting the position of every tree, every leaf, every possible hiding place
Tom: For the papparazi
Crow: Extra! Extra! Read all about it, two anim� characters caught in forest
>for enemies.
Joel: For guys with sticks
>I know there is no danger here; I would not have coaxed him into
Tom: Giving up his sanity?
>coming with me, if I had not known that for certain. Behind us, as we
Crow: Leave behind our sanities we reflect on the great journey we had!
>walk, the grass and low plants move to hide our tracks, so we will not be
Joel: Hung, drawn and quartered?
>easily found. I need to be alone with him for a while. The others would
Tom: Laugh and crack jokes
>not understand, and so I have taken pains to ensure that they have no idea
Crow: That I was the pain in the ass. Thank you
>where to start looking for us.
Joel: Hmm I think we should start in the big, scary looking forest marked 'You are here'
>We step into a shady clearing. I look around, and the shrubbery
>closes in,
Tom: Help the bush is attacking me!
>enveloping the clearing, keeping us safe from prying eyes and
>accidental discovery.
Crow: (Hiker) Hey I like accidentally made a discovery, two gay guys
>He half-turns his head, looks at me out of the corner of his eye. I
>take his hand into mine. He looks up at me, surprised,
Joel: I specifically came here for dinner!
>though this is not
Tom: The first or last time I make a fool of myself
>the first time I have held his hand. I pull him to face me, take his
>other hand, lace our fingers together, a small symbol of what I crave.
Crow: I crave finger puppets
>He watches me, his fine eyebrows drawing together in thought. I say
>nothing, for what I need to tell him would take a lifetime to say.
Joel: Or at least the rest of this story
>What could I possibly say? That I love him? Love is too weak a word
Tom: Words are weak old man
>to express the uncontrollable yearning that I feel when I look at him,
>when I think of him. That I need him? It doesn't nearly describe the
>raging emptiness in me that only he can fill.
Crow: He's talking about anal-sex isn't he?
Joel: Sadly I think so
>That I want him? Such a
Tom: Waste of space and time
>vulgar way of saying that I would sacrifice anything, anything at all, to
Crow: Escape from this movie theatre
>have him give himself to me willingly, joyfully, as passionately as I want
>to give myself to him.
Joel: Give yourself to the Lemon Side!
>I feel tears welling in my eyes again, and I look up, over his head,
Tom: Look a birdie
Crow: Depends on which head
Joel: Ick, Crow!
>up to the comforting green of the canopy formed by entangled branches,
Tom: (Director) Hey who left that green-screen there!?
>blocking out the sun's heat. I hate that he has brought me to this, that
>just thinking of him can bring me to this.
Crow: He was brought to his knees!
>But I can hardly blame him; I have been the aggressor while he has
Joel: Wandered in and out of the scene, hardly saying or doing anything
>stood passively by, have been the hunter while he has hidden from me. It
>is my own fault that looking into his fathomless eyes can make me cry, but
>I do not regret it, not for an instant.
Tom: I may cry but that doesn't make me a sissy
>He slides one foot closer to me, then the other, and stands almost
>against me. I close my eyes, take a deep breath, look down at him, hope
>my feelings are not written in my eyes, though I know they might as well
>be stamped on my forehead.
Crow: (Mimes using a stamp) IOAY!
Joel: That's backwards
Crow: It's so they can see it up in the air
Joel and Tom: ...
>I try to smile. He does not return it; but that is hardly unusual.
>His smiles are rare, which makes them the more precious to me.
Tom: It only takes 15 muscles to smile
Joel: But it takes 72 to frown which I'm doing a lot of!
>He lowers his eyes. I know these intimate moments are difficult for
Crow: Our sanities to handle!?
>him, and I have never asked for more than he is willing to give. Daily,
Joel: Weekly, Monthly, Yearly, Decadely, Centurly...
Tom: Etcetra, Etcetra!
>my desperate need for him increases, but he is able to give himself to me
Crow: If he will not be turned he will die
>only in tiny painful portions -- I treasure each one, keep them hidden
Joel: In a little bag, wanna see?
>from anyone who might see, take them out and marvel over them when I am
>alone.
Tom: All alone in a godless world and out of shake 'n' vac
Crow: Who turned on the 'Red Dwarf' jokes?
>He works his fingers free of mine, and I let my hands fall to my
>sides, swallowing a sudden lump in my throat and closing my eyes against
>disappointment.
Joel: Isn't it upsetting when you're not getting any?
>But then -- strong arms wrap around my middle, warm hands flatten
>against my back, pull me to him. I am too startled to react other than to
Tom: Desperately try to free myself
>open my eyes. He looks up, searching my face as he so often does, his own
>face solemn as always. He does not turn away.
Crow: I am going to say this once only: I am not your boyfriend
>Hesitantly, as if I have not done it many times before, I gather him
>up in my arms. He takes a deep breath, as though steeling himself, and
>exhales slowly. He glances around the clearing, then back up at me.
Joel: Good no-one is watching
>I hook an ankle around his, trip him up, lower him easily to the cool
Tom: The return of Kung-fu sex!?
>grass; his eyes widen in alarm, but he says nothing, and does not
>struggle. I look deep into his eyes and see, as I always do, his terror
>at the thought of being so close to me.
Crow: Terror is irrelevant...thoughts are irrelevant...plot and characterisation is irrelevant...you will be disgusted...we are the author
Joel: That was pretty good
>He trembles beneath me; his hands are clenched, holding fistfuls of
>my shirt. His lips are pressed tightly together, his jaw set.
Tom: He's only doing this for a Fistful of Dollars
>I reach up to touch his pale face, to smooth his frown.
Crow: Hey your face is kind of creased I'm just going to iron it out
>He is
Joel: Pretending this is all a dream
Tom: There's no place like home
>sweating, and I wipe his brow with my sleeve. I draw my fingers across
>his mouth, lean down to kiss him. His fingers tighten on my shirt. His
>breaths are shallow, quick; he closes his eyes.
Crow: Please tell me I'm not stuck in this Lemon!?
>I move to lie beside him. I will take nothing from him that he does
>not give me gladly.
Joel: But I will take anything else he doesn't give me not gladly. Thank you
Tom: That doesn't even make sense
>He opens his eyes, turns his head to look at me, confused. I smile,
Crow: You're on candid camera!
>caress his cheek again, move my hand round to the back of his neck and rub
>lightly. He lifts an eyebrow, not understanding.
Joel: Does he need it spelt out to him!?
>No matter my needs, no matter my unfulfilled desires, I will wait for
>him to come to me.
Tom: Instead of doing the smart thing we'll protract it out even further!
>He rolls to his side, to face me, the look of confusion turning to
>another puzzled frown. Our noses almost touch, and I can feel the heat of
>his body through my clothes.
Crow: He's burning up, he's bursting into flames!
>He has a beautiful body, compact and muscled, not a speck of extra
>fat anywhere. Too thin, perhaps, but he forgets to eat when he is
>concentrating on his training.
Joel: Eating? What is this strange concept?
>I trail my hand down over his shoulder, along his arm, to rest on his
>hip. He does not flinch, does not pull away. His grip on my shirt
>finally loosens, and the panic in his features begins to fade.
Crow: For a second there I thought you might actually do it!
>I smile again, to feel him relaxing. He watches me.
Tom: Where'd you think you're going in such a hurry?
Joel: No where, just thought I'd make sure the trap I set was Ok!
Tom: What!?
Joel: Oh damn, I said the loud part silent and the silent part loud
>He reaches up and takes a strand of my hair in his supple fingers,
>twirls it around his hand, examines it closely. He pushes it over my
>shoulder, hesitates. He smooths my hair, slides his fingers through it,
>holds his palm against my head.
Crow: Hairy fella isn't he?
>He leans up and kisses me, so softly I barely feel it.
Joel: Come on you can do better, next time with PASSION!
Tom: Ick, Joel!
>He pulls back and looks at me as though asking for my approval. I
>watch him, unspeaking. He lowers his gaze, leans forward and kisses my
>throat. I shiver, close my eyes a moment. He shifts closer to me.
Crow: Therefore he was getting shifty. Thank you!
>He is still nervous; his body is tense, his breath comes rapidly. I
>realise in a moment that I am holding my own breath, and release it
>slowly.
Joel: (Wheezing) Fetch my inhaler please!
>I roll, keeping him beneath me, mindful not to put my whole weight on
>him. With one hand I begin unbuttoning his shirt, carefully, unhurried,
Tom: Take your time we got plenty of it
>holding his quiet gaze with my own. I push the shirt open and trail my
>fingers down over his chest, feel the ridges and hollows of his hard
>abdomen, revel in the warmth of his smooth skin, damp with sweat.
Crow: It's all slippery he can't get any grip on the thing
>He quivers at my touch. I look at his face, try to gauge his
>expression.
Joel: I would say it's 11,000 PSI
Tom: Wrong gauge Joel
Joel: Sorr-eee!
>He is still calm, his eyes fixed on me. I crawl backward a
>bit, lower my head and kiss his belly, just above his navel. He inhales
>sharply. I look up at him. He pushes himself up on his elbows, looking
Crow: For away to escape this predicament!
>down at me, eyes wide, mouth slightly open. I flash him my wickedest grin
>and dip my tongue into his navel.
Joel: Excuse me (Runs off stage, sounds of vomiting can be heard)
Tom: You might want to save some it's gonna get worse later
Joel: (Sitting down) Thanks for the re-assurance
Tom: Anytime
>He gasps, and sits up, puts his hand on my hair. I look up at him,
>dismayed, afraid I've frightened him.
Crow: You broke his little plaything
Joel: Crow you're not helping
>He smiles, suddenly, a slow, wondering half-smile.
Tom: He's wondering how you smile
>He lets me go, shrugs off his shirt, and leans back on his elbows.
>He watches me, expectant, trusting, waiting to see what I will do next.
Crow: For his next trick he'll pull a rabbit out of his a..
Joel: (Interrupting with a cough)
Crow: Ahh...nevermind
>I make love with him, next.
Tom: Yep all done next please, come on seriously whose next?
>At first we move slowly, hesitating in our inexperience. I have long
>fantasised about exploring his body, discovering sensitive spots, learning
>what pleases him; but I have no chance this time as he catches me to him,
>suddenly, fiercely wanting. I am careful not to hurt him, not to
Joel: Intense Hurting Action
Crow: Intense Boredom Inaction
>intimidate him; but he is no longer afraid. I cling to him as the
>universe compacts to nothing but two people moving together, grasping,
>gasping, needing.
Tom: You're born naked, wet and hungry...
Joel: And it is all downhill from there!
>I hold him against me, after, try to control my breathing. His body
>shakes, and he turns to me, presses against me, his forehead on my chest.
>I stroke his hair, murmur to him. I can feel his rapid heartbeat against
>my skin. He gulps, suddenly, and I think to myself that he must be
>crying, but I dare not look.
Crow: He's having a heart murmur
>When we finally disentangle ourselves, finally sit up and face one
>another, he is reluctant to lift his head. A single tear trickles down
>his cheek, drops from his chin. I reach up and wipe away the damp mark,
>lean forward and lift his chin, tenderly kiss his eyelids, his nose, his
>mouth.
Joel: I love the taste of snot and drool in the afternoon
>Something flashes, catches my eye, and I look down. His hand is open
>on his knee. Sparkling, in the middle of his palm, is a dark jewel. He
>closes his hand around it. I look up. He says nothing, but I know what
>this is.
Tom: All the pressures must've compressed it into a jewel
Crow: That's sick Tom
>A tear gem. _His_ tear gem, tiny, black and glittering.
Joel: Don't forget to flush
>He looks down at his fist.
Tom: If you don't be quiet you know where this'll end up!?
>He takes my hand, turns it palm upward, places the gem carefully into
>it and folds my fingers shut. I look up again.
Crow: Look out he's got a gun!
>"Don't cry anymore," he commands me, in a whisper, lifting my fist
>and pressing his lips to my fingers, unable to summon his usual harshness.
Joel: Maybe Roy Skelton was off duty
Tom: Ouch, that's obscure!
>I disobey immediately.
Crow: Burn him, he who cannot follow simple orders!
>***
>end
>***
All: Thank you gods!
(All Exit)
(Door Sequence)
1..2..3..4..5..6..7
(Satellite of Love)
"At least it wasn't as outrageously bad as 'Taken'!" said Crow. "Yeah true, pity it wasn't a Senshi Orgy or something like that" muttered Tom. "Guys come on we got through it with our spirit intact and that's all that counts isn't it!?" said Joel drumming up some false enthusiasm. "Yeah, yeah" muttered Tom and Crow.
(Deep 13)
"Those fools think they have one but from here on in things will get a lot worse and then the world will belong to me!" cried Forrester. The lab echoed with Forrester's maniacal laughter, it stopped for a second and Forrester said "Push the button Frank". "Yes you're green-ness" replied Frank pressing the button...
(The Real End)
Author's Notes...Well I was vaguely sincere in my promise to riff more yaoi fanfiction, but I hope not since these last two were bad enough to leave a bitter taste (Shut up you lot in the back!) still we march on relentlessly to the finish line with only three more to go till I can call it quits!
Stinger
I make love to him, next.
