(Cue MSI:3K Theme Song)

In the not-too-distant future,
next saturday AD,
there was a guy named Joel,
not too different from you and me,
he worked in a satellite loading bay,
just polishing switches to pay his way,
he did his job well with a cheerful face,
his bosses really HATED him,
so they conked him on the noggin and they
shot him way into space,

they sent him cheesy Fanfics,
the worst that were ever written,
Joel has to read them all,
and they monitor his mind,
Joel tries to keep his sanity,
with the help of his robot pals,

(Robot Roll Call)

Cambot (Text only)
Gypsy (Oh my stars)
Tom Servo (What a cool guy)
Crow (I'm not a Hentai)

If you're wondering how Joel eats and breathes,
and other technical facts, just repeat to yourself,
IT'S JUST A SHOW, and you should just relax for,
MYSTERY SCIENCE INFINITY 3000

(Satellite of Love)

"Hi there, my name is Joel Robinson and welcome to the Satellite of Love, this is where, day after day, me and my robot buddies sit and read the worst stories ever, today we also have a special guest. As you may remember during the last episode Mike Nelson was captured and shot up here and now he joins us in reading these bad Fics". The commercial light started flashing and Joel tapped it. "We'll be right back"

(Insert Commercial Here)

(Deep 13)

"This is the best one they have!?" asked Dr. Forrester. "Yeah, you said get another story by that BOF guy and this is what they had" replied TV's Frank. "Oh well it'll do, now get setup for the Invention Exchange" said Forrester.

(SOL)

The Mads light started flashing and Joel pressed it and asked "How can we help you?". "Do you have an Invention Exchange this week?" asked Dr. Forrester. "Yes we have an Invention" said Joel and he picked up his Invention for the week. "It is the Shatner-Speeder-Upper, whenever you are watching an episode of the classic Star Trek series you always end up fast-forwarding through Shatner's long winded sentences because, frankly, he takes a year to say three words, this device deletes the pauses between his words and it also cuts down on his dramatic posing and camera hogging, what do you think sir!?" asked Joel.

(Deep 13)

"Cute Joel but it doesn't beat my latest bout of evil, my Invention this week is this..." Forrester proudly pointed at the Fanfic-Sending-Machine "I have increased its power thousand-fold to make sure that any Fanfic that crosses through it is immediately stripped of any redeeming features and is converted to 100% pure evil" Forrester was foaming at the mouth by now and he literally screamed "Send them the Fanfic Frank!". "Yes your all mighty evillness" said Frank and pressed the button.

(SOL)

Joel, Mike, Tom and Crow yelled "We got Lemon sign!" and they ran off stage.

(Door Sequence)

Door 7: A dog bone, naturally
Door 6: The 'Joe Don Baker' collectors set on DVD
Door 5: Spanish lessons, you're kicked out for laughing at 'Manos'
Door 4: An army of cutting tools, you narrowly avoid them
Door 3: A large door made of chocolate, you eat a hole through
Door 2: The 'Enterprise' fan club (now defunct)
Door 1: A wormhole that warps you into the theatre

(The theatre, Crow in the first seat, Mike in the second, Joel in the third and Tom in the fourth)

>Fur Fun

Joel: The place where Fur goes to have Fun

>Breath Of Fire 3

Mike: Oh Jeez! Not again

>By Neo Cactuar([email protected])

Tom: The cactus is back

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Crow: Whose line is it anyway?

>Disclaimer: This story contains scenes of sexually graphic nature. Do not

Joel: Operate heavy machinery after reading this Fic

>read this story if you are not of legal age in your area, or if it is not

Mike: Politically correct to do so

>allowed in your community. Do not read this if you are offended by sexual

Tom: I'm guessing that's nobody

>acts of any nature. All characters in this story are property of Capcom and

Crow: They made more sequels even though nobody bought the game

>whoever else helped make the game.

Joel: And they are in alphabetical order...

>-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mike: How many lines must a Fic walk down?

>Rei padded quietly through the empty halls of Wyndia Castle. The pads
>of his Woren feet were cold from constant contact with the cold,

Tom: Well obviously they'd be cold if he's walking on something cold

>stone

Crow: Paper, Scissors

>floor. After the fall of Myria, the surviving companions who defeated her,
>Ryu, Rei, Nina, Peco, and Momo, had gone to Wyndia to return Nina to her
>parents and make a full report on their deeds.

Joel: (Rei) Ok first of all, I helped build a Faerie village, then I sent some of them to do some Studying/Hunting and then I screwed some of them
Mike: (Parents) Well we didn't expect a FULL report

>Though the king, and especially the queen, we upset with Nina having
>left, the companions were pardoned due to their courageous actions.

Tom: Despite the several million dollars property damage

>That was

Crow: Incredibly goofy

>two days ago. Though Nina would be staying at Wyndia, the others wouldn't,

Joel: They weren't invited to the party

>but Nina had convinced them to stay for a parade that would be organized in
>their honor.

Mike: (Nina) There'll be snacks and Lemon Scenes

>The parade was to be held today, but by the time everything was
>ready, it had begun raining, keeping everyone inside their houses, and the
>companions inside the castle.

Tom: Sorry did Doctor Who just land here, is that why all the companions are there?

>Rei was bored out of his mind. Ryu was off searching about the castle
>with Peco, and Momo was in the castle library.

Crow: No talking in the library

>Rei had nothing to do, and

Joel: He decided to leave

>decided to see Nina. After making his way up the steps to the princess'
>room, Rei pushed open the cracked door and stepped inside. Rei froze as he

Mike: Felt the cold of the stone floor

>saw Nina stretched out on her bed, her eyes shut, and completely naked. She
>was working her finger in and out of her tight vagina, softly moaning.

Tom: (Nina) Why me!? Why me!? Why me!?

>"Nina?!" Rei exclaimed, blinking in surprise. Nina's eyes snapped open
>and she hurriedly sat up.

Crow: Yeah sure, spoil the one good thing about the story so far

>"R-Rei? I didn't hear you come up..." the princess said, blushing
>profusely.

Joel: (Nina) But don't worry, keep watching me naked, I don't mind

>"S-sorry. I must have caught you at a bad time," the Woren said

Mike: The master of understatement ladies and gentleman

>awkwardly, backing out of the room. Nina appeared to be making up her mind,
>and she looked up.

Tom: (Making alarm noise) We have LEMON SIGN!

>"Wait," Nina said, beginning to smile as she stood up.
>"Yeah?" Rei said sheepishly, his eyes averted. Nina grinned, walking up
>to the furiously blushing Woren.

Crow: Guess his career never picked after 'Manos'
Joel: That's 'Warren' not 'Woren'
Crow: Oh, I have the wrong script here

>Rei gasped and his eyes widened as Nina
>grasped his semi-hard dick and squeezing through his thin, cloth pants.
>"W-what are you doing!?" Rei said, drawing back. Nina smiled.

Mike: (Nina) I'm going to hit you, and I may never stop

>"You're bored, right? Let's do something fun," the princess said

Tom: (Rei) Let's play 'Trivial Pursuit'

>seductively, latching the door to the room and turning the lock. Rei
>stammered and Nina kissed him full on the mouth. Rei gave way and Nina's
>tongue slid into the Woren's mouth.

Crow: (Nina) Tastes like Lemon Juice

>Their tongues battled against each other

Joel: And it looks like Rei will win the tongue-lashing contest
Mike: But no Nina is fighting back with a tongue-twister

>for a minute as Nina slid her hand inside Rei pants, fondling his rapidly
>growing dick.

Tom: Pretty soon it'll be at Equine proportions

>Her hand caressed the Woren's furry ballsac as his feline cock
>pushed it's way out of his sheath. Nina was interested in the Woren's odd
>anatomy, and pulled Rei toward the bed.

Crow: What's odd about it? She never seen a guy before?

>Turning Rei around, Nina playfully pushed him down onto the soft bed.
>Rei slid out of his loose vest and stretched out and Nina pulled off the
>Woren's leggings,

Joel: Guys aren't, usually, supposed to wear girls clothes

>exposing his thick, nearly nineteen inch, erect cock. Nina
>stared in amazement at the Woren's huge erection hungrily. None of the
>castle guards had anything like this! Nina decided that it was a shame there
>were so few Worens in the world.

Mike: I suppose we should feel sorry too, but no I'm glad their extinct

>Rei closed his eyes as Nina softly circled the head of his straining,
>pink dick with her tongue. His long Woren cock was fully extended out of
>it's sheath, with a large bulge near the base of it. Nina stared at this for

Tom: Hours and hours and hours and hours

>a moment before remembering that some animals, mainly canines, had this, and

Crow: Then she realised she shouldn't be sleeping with animals

>that it was called a knot. Nina grinned and opened her mouth wide, taking
>the large head of Rei's burning cock into her mouth.

Joel: Flames added electronically by the FOX network

>Rei gasped and strained
>as Nina toyed with his libido, gently lapping at the tip off his straining
>rod.

Mike: So his rod was straining for some libido. Thank you
Tom: That REALLY doesn't make sense

>Nina finally got serious, and began taking the length of Rei's cock
>into her mouth. After only taking about five inches of the pink, feline cock
>into her mouth, Nina gagged as the tip pushed into the back of her throat.

Crow: So she was gagging for some tips on how to deep throat. Thank you

>Rei carefully sat up. Nina was kneeling on the stone castle floor as he sat

Joel: Hope her knees don't get cold

>perched on the edge of her bed. Rei placed his furry hands on top of Nina's
>head, urging her on. Nina managed to slide the head of Rei's hard dick down
>her throat without gagging.

Mike: The same cannot be said of the audience however

>With new enthusiasm, Nina took in inch after inch of the Woren's long,
>thick cock into her mouth and down her throat, her tongue sliding against
>the pink length. Rei moaned as she suckled on his tender flesh, gently
>scraping the surface of his skin with her teeth.

Tom: (Rei) Rip the skin off why don't ya!

>Finally, Nina reached the knot of Rei's penis, which she barely managed
>to fit in her mouth. Though there were more than three inches of the Woren's
>cock she had not yet taken in, she could not manage to swallow Rei's swollen
>knot. Instead, Nina began sucking on it, her tongue wildly massaging the

Crow: Massages are supposed to be relaxing you know

>enlargement. Rei moaned, gripping Nina with his hands as she worked eagerly
>on his erection.

Joel: (Nina) I am going to give it a make-over

>After a minute or so, Rei squeezed Nina's shoulder in warning. Nina

Mike: (Singing) Nina, nina, she's so fine, she's so fine, she blows my...
Tom: Yeah you better stop there Mike

>stopped, just as the Woren was about to orgasm. Giving Rei a moment to step
>away from the precipice of pleasure,

Crow: What are they fucking on a cliff?
Joel: Crow...!

>Nina carefully pulled the long cock out

Mike: And she coughed up her liver and guts too

>of her mouth. She noticed that even though Rei was fully hard, his Woren

Joel: This joke is 'Woren' a little thin now

>cock was still somewhat flexible. Savoring the sensation of the Woren's
>length pulling out of her throat, Nina finally extricated herself off of
>Rei's cock, giving one final lick to the pink head, which precum was leaking
>out of at high rates.

Tom: But then the stock market crashed

>Rei laid back and closed his eyes, practically panting as Nina pulled
>herself up on the bed. Nina giggled and traced her finger around Rei's
>heavily muscled, fur-covered torso. Rei pulled Nina towards him, grasping
>one of her large breasts. Nina gasped in pleasure as Rei softly licked one

Crow: And then he bit it off

>of her nipples with his rough feline tongue. Rei traced his tongue around
>her nipple and took it into his mouth, sucking roughly. He massaged her
>other breast with his paw, sending waves of pleasure through the princess.

Joel: It's a pity no princesses live around here
Mike: Why?
Joel: Because, every Fanfic and movie ever made has them pictured as 'Easy'
Mike: Good point

>Nina positioned herself on top of Rei's muscular torso as he continued
>suckling her breasts, rubbing her cunt with one of her hands and grasping
>the sheets with her other hand.

Tom: Stop talking so much sheet

>Reluctantly, Nina pulled away from Rei's mouth. Moving down his furry
>body, Nina rose to her knees and positioned the tip of the Woren's cock at
>the entrance to her cunt.

Crow: (Rei) What's that sign say: No Vacancies

>Nina rubbed the head of the Woren's cock around
>her vagina, spreading precum in her pubic hair. She finally was ready, and
>positioned the very tip of Rei's straining cock at her dripping cunt. Rei
>nodded eagerly, and Nina slowly lowered herself onto the Woren's dick.

Joel: Are we taking bets that through some contrivance she gets it all in?
Mike: No bet here, since it's fairly obvious

>Unused to the thickness, Nina winced as the head of Rei's cock pushed
>into her cunt, producing a slight popping sound as it completely entered.
>Inhaling, Nina carefully pushed down, wincing against the pain as the first
>few inches of Rei's wet, thick cock pushed into her.

Tom: The cock is moving in on Nina's territory

>The biggest dick she
>had ever had in her was only eleven inches long, and not nearly as thick as
>the Woren's cock.

Crow: Oh shut up, at least my beak comes with attachments
(The others look at Crow in disgust)

>Accustomed to the pain of first entry, Nina pushed down harder and
>rapidly took in inch upon inch of Rei's long, throbbing dick. Rei gasped and

Joel: Choked and died

>clutched Nina's sides as she rapidly swallowed his thick cock into her wet
>cunt. Nina stopped after she had taken in nearly fifteen inches, unable to

Mike: Who ordered the foot long!?

>continue. She gasped as Rei's grip on her sides tightened and the Woren
>began lustily pulling her down the rest of his length.

Tom: (Rei) Don't worry, that squishing is your internal organs being ruptured

>Not bothering to resist, Nina blocked out the extreme discomfort of
>having so much in her and once. Rei finally stopped as the large knot of his
>dick came to be pressed against the entrance to Nina's vagina.

Crow: Come on in and we'll have a great party

>Inhaling in preparation, Nina began pushing down against Rei's knot.
>After a moment, Nina cried out in pain as the enlargement pushed all the way
>into her vagina. The force she had been applying pushed the rest of Rei's
>length into Nina, and the Woren's furry nuts came to be pressed against her
>asshole, between her smooth buttcheeks.

Joel: Yeah and where else would it be?

>Nina squirmed around, getting used to the amount of flesh inside of
>her. Rei's knot was large enough to feel if she pressed her hand into her
>lower abdomen, Nina discovered.

Mike: And I'm sure she was very disturbed when she discovered it

>Rei began to squirm. The discomfort faded, giving Nina the sense of
>being filled. Smiling, Nina experimentally lifted off of Rei's hard dick
>until the Woren's knot was about to pull out. She then sat back down, taking
>all of it in again.

Tom: So it's excitement by repetition
Crow: Up, down. Repeat as necessary

>Rei moaned, his claws digging softly into the girl's
>side as she did so again and again, gradually increasing the place. Rei
>growled softly and soon Nina was going at a rapid pace. The knot of Rei's
>cock came out a few times, and every time it went back into her slippery
>vagina it sent a spasm of pleasure through both Nina and Rei.

Joel: Funny, it's giving us spasms on revulsion

>Nina was grasping the sheets of the bed and moaning softly as Rei's
>thick length

Mike: Length isn't measured in thickness

>pumped in and out of her, sending waves of pleasure through them both. Rei
>continued to growl and the bed squeaked with every movement of Nina's hips.

Tom: She must have a metal hip

>Soon Nina was pumping a large amount of the Woren's long cock in and
>out of her at a rapid pace, raising so that nearly half of the pinkish
>length was exposed and quickly sitting down and taking it back it.

Crow: Yeah it would be a shame if it went to waste

>Rei grasped Nina's full breasts,

Joel: How do you empty them? D'you have to take them to a Gas Station to refill or something?

>rubbing vigorously as Nina gripped the
>Woren's heavily muscled chest. Soon the pleasure was too much for Nina and
>she let out a loud moan as she orgasmed multiple times, continuing the pace.

Mike: She has to pace herself or she'll have none left for dinner

>Shortly after Nina had orgasmed, Rei felt the pressure in his balls
>increase and he went over the edge. Roaring in passion, Rei slammed his hips
>into Nina's one final time, his ballsac slapping against her asshole. Large
>wads of sperm erupted from the Woren's thick, long dick and deep into Nina.
>Nina gasped as Rei's knot suddenly enlarged as he orgasmed. Rei strained
>against Nina as pleasure wracked his body and he sent stream after stream of
>feline semen deep inside of Nina.

Tom: Jeez! Is he building a dam in there?
Crow: It must be a god-damn

>Finally, both Rei and Nina were spent. However, when Nina attempted to
>pull off of the Woren, a slight pang of pain went through her. She found
>that the Woren's knot was still enlarged, and prevented her from pulling it
>out. Rei bit his lip sheepishly and shrugged. After a few minutes, Rei's

Joel: Life ended

>cock softened enough and Nina slowly pulled the incredible length out of her
>dripping cunt. As the head of Rei's cock pulled out of Nina's cunt, sperm
>dripped down Rei's still semi-erect dick. Nina smiled and licked all around
>Rei's dick, savoring the flavor of his cum.

Mike: (Nina) Tastes like Veronica Taylor's

>Nina sighed in content, laying next to the panting Woren. Smiling at
>Rei, Nina curled up close to him, savoring the feeling of his warm fur
>against her body.

Tom: She'll cut it all of and make a carpet out of it

>________________________________________________________________________
>Get Your Private, Free E-mail from MSN Hotmail at http://www.hotmail.com

Crow: How about I give you the finger, and you let us out of this theatre

(All Exit)

(Door Sequence)

1..2..3..4..5..6..7

(Satellite of Love)

The three lights on the table were blinking in sequence. "Someone's calling on the Hex-Field" said Joel. Mike tapped the light and the Hex-Field opened. A woman was standing there, she wore long flowing robes and it was decorated by hundreds of diamonds and other jewels. Joel, Mike and the 'bots faces started from her feet and they worked their way up. When they got to her face the recoiled as if they had just stared at the ugliest sight in the universe. Which is what it was. The face was green, scaly and covered in acne that was leaking mucus everywhere. "Hello my name is Princess Velra, and I'm looking for someone to mate with" said the hideous creature. "Uhh sorry no-one here, we're all happily single" said Joel in disgust. "Look Mr. No-Fashion-Sense either one of you beam over here or else shoot that can out of the sky" replied the Princess. "Umm there is no-one here but there is a large structure on the planet down there and if you target co-ordinates 21.05.03 there are two people in there who would be much more co-operative" said Mike quickly. "Ok thank you" said the creature and signed off. "What co-ordinates was that?" asked Servo. "Gizmonic Institute's Sub-Basement" explained Mike. "Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank?" asked Crow. Mike nodded and said "After everything they've done to us I think it's poetic justice"

(The Real End)

Author's Notes...21.05.03 is the release day for "Matrix Reloaded" so that explains that, yeah I said I was never doing anymore MSTings and I suppose it shows since I didn't really plan this one out very well. So yes it was a return to on the spot riffs. Still it isn't as bad as many early episodes, nothing much new to say except I think this is going to be the last one, for a while anyway.

(Stinger)

Nina squirmed around, getting used to the amount of flesh inside of
her. Rei's knot was large enough to feel if she pressed her hand into her
lower abdomen, Nina discovered.