| No, it can't be... Another Fucking Rant. So here goes- Ok what the fuck is up with these Gay Rehab programs? "I don't want to be gay anymore." OK then, stop fucking men. Problem solved, simple right? "No". Yeah actually it really can be that simple, see alot of these "I hate being gay" people hate having one night stands and they blame homosexualality for that. I hate to say it but these are the ones that make the christians think that they're right, "Homosexuality is a sin and whoever commits such horrible crimes against nature will burn in hell forever because being gay is all about going out and having random sex and doing drugs." First let me just say that I've researched this supposed 'crime against nature' and most animals who don't 'mate for life' hook up with some critter of the same sex, infact male dolphins use that blow hole for more than just breathing... kinda like the blow hole on alot of the girls at my old high school. Secondly you Bible belts are just pissed because noone wants to have a random wild passion hot and steamy one night stand with you. Back on subject. If you're sick of being gay because you think that being gay means that you should go out and have sex with random people and do drugs then no, you're probably not really sick of being gay, you're sick of being a hippy. So here's my money saving solution. Put that 800$ a week, that you would have to spend to get all warm and fuzzy with a bunch of other gay hippy christians, away and go buy yourself something very manly like a power drill, a pair of feuschia shoes, or a good hooker. Well come to think of it if I spent 800$+ to sit in the middle of nowhere and listen to men whine about having no control over themselves then yeah I think I wouldn't want to shag a guy either. Next subject. Not really a rant but more of an odd observation related to previous rantings. This comes form some little quiz thing on the National something or other For the Prevention of Teen Pregnancy. Question 3 of 10. If you don't use any form of contraception/protection when you have sex, what are your chances of becoming pregnant withing one year? A.28% B.85% C.76% D.43% .... Now wait a minute here... this is kinda like that one joke, If a rooster sits on top of a barn and lays an egg which side of the roof will it roll off of? So yes, for all you guys out there who have or may take this quiz, watch out the health department says you have an 85% chance of getting pregnant. On a simalar note statistically only 4% of teens lose their virginity in cars nowdays and I think I know why. Cars shrank. Now you can barely fit one person in the seat of a car much less two who are doing strenous activities. So parents you know that huge SUV you where thinking of getting... yes you might want to rethink that one... that little statistic might sky rocket if you do. Infact I say boycot the SUVs. Kill the fuckers and anyone driving one. Besides the people who buy SUVs are more times than not insecure yuppie fucks with 2.5 children, so they buy this big ugly half breed tank-minivan. So you have this 20 foot long tank driving down the highway and in it is a single 120lb blonde on a cell phone which is terrible for people stuck in rush hour because these assholes are taking up more road area then everyone else... greedy bastards. Yes I say get these rejects their own lane. Worse yet is if the kids are in the back seat because the damn asshole driving will still be on the cell phone while trying to drive a tanki--van in heavy traffic while trying to reach into the back seat to slam her kids heads togeather. You see time outs don't work in the SUV, we have to resort to old style beatings. How intresting... But yes children are too safe nowdays. More of these spoiled brats should be drug into the street and beaten down with that cheap plastic toy they're throwing a hissy fit about in the middle of the isles at Wal*mart. That dissrepectful little brat bitching about not getting an 8 pound bar of cholate needs to shut up to. That kid will most likely grow up and be bulimic anyways so to make up for the food they'll waste later on in their life don't buy them the candy bar. Oh and all you dick wads who where to fucking stupid to make a list of things you needed from the store before you left home, I hope you all die of cancer seeing as you can't seem to pry your cell phone off your head long enough to get the fuck out of the frozen peas section. Make a god damn choice here. Frozen carrots is not something that you should need a second opion on. The rest of you just standing around in Wal*mart, get the fuck out of the way. I don't want to have to swear at an exsessivly loud volume but i'm not about to stand around and wait for you to stop looking at the shit you're not going to buy. So if you want to save your childrens precious ears from hearing me unleash verbal hell in Wal*mart move your fat ass and your empty cart. Get the fuck out of the way I have beer, celery, chicken nuggets, and pet food to buy, nothing more nothing less. If it's not on the list then fuck off you don't need it. Don't stand aroud for half and hour pawing at the salami that someone else is actually going to buy. Oh and hey Quasi Moto at the cash register, I don't give a damn about saving 3cents on 20 cans of spam so stop trying to be my financial advisior and just scan my 20 or less items so I can get hit by a large moving object in the parking lot because you reloaded my cart wrong and shit's falling out of the cart. Anyways I have no more energy to rant on about much of anything. My pure and undying hate for the soccer moms and the welfare assholes who shop at Wal*mart has ravished my keyboard. So until I rant again- FUCK OFF. |
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