Deranged

As I am quietly lying on my bed-
Memories of the past invade my head.
Leaving nothing but anxiety to chance-
I take the last few years at a glance.


Problems have followed me wherever I go-
It seems as if I am at an ultimate low.
I now see that my life has tremendously changed-
And knowing this leaves me feeling deranged.

I have lost complete control of my life-
Out of the drawer I remove a knife.
There is nothing left on this earth for me-
This will ease the pain you see!

I put the knife against my skin-
I have to convince myself to begin.
I hold it there for a moment or two-
WAIT! Is this really something I want to do?

My body is now drenched in sweat-
Am I able to continue without regret?
With the knife grasped tightly in my hand-
I take a deep breath...my lungs expand.

I elevate the knife high above my chest-
I take a final breath before my peaceful rest.
The knife goes crashing down to the ground-
And my heart continues its horrified pound.

My body begins to tremble violently-
While my screams for help come out silently.
The trebling comes to an abrupt conclusion-
As my soul looses itself in it's confusion.

I finally fall into an immersed sleep
Out of my body this experience will creep.
I will wake in the morning completely revived-
Thankful that I survived!
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