“Quiet, you idiots!” hissed Erizel to his companions. His red-haired brother Ferin glanced up at him, arching an eyebrow.
“Why are you so afraid? There aren’t any guards here,” he grumbled. “It’s just a house, not a castle.”
“The house of a golden dragon!” Erizel seethed. “Wake her up and she’ll fry us all.”
“I can’t believe we even took this job,” muttered the third brother, the wiry Mystif. “Stealing a dragon’s gem right out from under her nose! This is madness.”
“You know what that wizard’s paying us for this,” Erizel reminded his brothers. “It’s enough to keep us set for years.”
“If she doesn’t wake up,” Mystif stated.
“She won’t if you stay quiet,” Erizel said. “Now, Ferin, I want you to wait here and keep an eye out for anyone moving. If you see anyone, use the crowbar and knock ‘em out, understand?”
“Understood.” Ferin nodded and positioned himself in front of the door. Erizel and Mystif slipped quietly into the bedroom.
The one-time Priestess of the Fire Dragon King lay asleep on the bed, dressed in a light pink nightgown. A heavy mace lay at the foot of the bed. Next to the bed was a small nightstand containing her jewelry.
“Is that it?” whispered Mystif, pointing at one of the gems on the table. Erizel shook his head and motioned for his brother to be silent. He tiptoed over to the closet and opened it, revealing a set of robes. Set in the middle of one was a large gem. Carefully, Erizel removed the jewel. Mystif walked over to join him, holding out a bag. Erizel dropped the dragon jewel inside the sack, and the two carefully made their way out of the room.
Ferin was nowhere to be seen.
“Where did that idiot go?” growled Mystif. “He’ll get us all caught.”
“Wait! There he is.” Erizel ran down the hall as fast as he could without making much noise. Ferin was waiting for him, holding a bundle in his arms. Peering in at it, Erizel saw that it was a sleeping green-haired baby.
“What are you doing?” Mystif asked quietly, joining them. “That brat’s going to wake up and give us away!”
“I put a sleeping spell on him,” Ferin said. He practiced a bit of minor sorcery as a side skill. Normally he used his skills to keep victims asleep while his brothers stole, but Erizel hadn’t been sure if his powers would work on a golden dragon.
“Which brings up the question of why you have him,” Erizel said impatiently.
“The wizard said to bring him.” Ferin tapped the bloodstone pendant that he wore around his neck. It had been given to the brothers by the one who hired them as a means of communication.
“Wonderful. Now we’re kidnappers and thieves,” Mystif muttered.
“Let’s go,” Erizel said. “Now that we have her brat, the dragon’s sure to follow. Let’s get our goods to the wizard as soon as possible. Let him deal with her.”
The other two nodded in agreement. As softly as they had come, the brothers crept out of the house.
Inside the house, Filia slept on, blissfully unaware of what had just been taken from her.
“That’s MINE!!!” Lina dived halfway across the table, wrestling the ham from Gourry’s fingers.
“Oi! I was eating that!” Gourry threw himself at the ham. Lina pulled the meat to one side, and her blonde companion fell off the table. Laughing maniacally, the red- haired sorceress stuffed the entire thing in her mouth. Gourry picked himself up off the floor, aimed for a plate of ribs, and was beaten to them by Amelia, who, copying Lina, stuffed the food in her mouth and attempted to laugh maniacally. She ended up nearly choking herself and needed Zelgadis to hit her on the back once in order to force her to swallow. The chimera was watching the carnage before him with barely a twitch, calmly sipping his coffee.
Then Lina threw Gourry across the table. The swordsman struck Zelgadis’s cup, causing some if the chimera’s precious coffee to spill halfway across the table. With deadly calm, Zelgadis stood and dumped the rest of the steaming hot beverage over the unfortunate Gourry’s head.
“AAAH! Hot! Hot! HOT!” Gourry ran around the room screaming until Amelia helpfully dumped a bucket of cold water on him. Lina ignored them both and continued to devour everything edible in sight.
Needless to say, the rest of the restaurant’s patrons were doing more staring than eating. Suddenly, a golden blur entered the restaurant and caused even more staring.
“Lina-san! Oh, Lina-san, it’s you!” Filia ran up to the table, smiling widely.
“Filia-san! What are you doing here? I thought you opened an antique shop,” Amelia said.
“I did.” Filia’s eyes filled unexpectedly with tears. “But--but--someone broke into my house and kidnapped Valtiera!”
“What?!” Lina spat out her drink all over poor already-soaked Gourry.
“Someone’s kidnapped Valgaav?” Zelgadis leaned forward. “Who? A Mazoku?”
“I-I don’t know!” Filia began to cry. “Three ruffians broke into my house and stole my dragon gem and baby Valtiera!”
“They took your gem too?” Amelia gasped. “How horrible, Filia-san! Don’t worry, I, Amelia Wil Tesla Seyruun, vow to return your stolen goods to you!” Amelia struck a dramatic pose.
“Why didn’t you just change into a dragon and chase them down?” Gourry asked in confusion.
“I can’t!” Filia rested her chin in her hands. “I need my gem to help me transform. And even if I could transform, how could I find three people out of hundreds? I’ve been following leads for days. But now that I’ve found you, Lina-san, you can help me!”
“Well....” Lina thought it over. “I guess we could help you...for a price.”
“Lina-san! How can you say that?” Amelia was aghast. “Filia-san’s our friend!”
Lina sighed.
“I guess you’re right, Amelia. Okay, Filia, I’ll only make you pay half of what I was going to ask, okay?”
The entire group facevaulted.
“Lina-san!” Amelia remained shocked.
“I’ll make you a deal, Lina-san,” Filia said. “When we get back my gem and baby Val, you can have whatever else the bandits have stolen.”
“Well, I guess that’ll do,” Lina decided. “What about you guys?”
“Of course I’ll help!” Amelia volunteered immediately.
“I’ll help too,” Gourry added.
“What about you, Zel?” Lina asked her quiet companion.
“I suppose I may as well join in the search,” Zelgadis said. “If someone manages to turn Valgaav back into what he once was we’ll all be in trouble.”
“You don’t think anyone would really do that, do you, Zelgadis-sama?” Amelia gasped. “That would be awful!”
“I can’t let that happen!” Filia said in determined tones. “Valtiera is my responsibility and I will save him. Come on, Lina-san!” She headed towards the door.
“Uh, Filia?”
“Yes, Lina-san?”
“Can we finish our snack first?”
“SNACK?!”
Erizel was being chased. He knew it, Ferin knew it, Mystif knew it. Dark creatures seemed to be dogging their every step, watching them with burning eyes.
And, even worse, baby Valtiera was awake and needed a diaper change.
“I’m not touching that brat!” Erizel said vehemently. “You kidnapped him, Ferin, you take care of him!”
Hear, hear!” Mystif added his support for the idea. “I don’t want to touch the whining brat.”
“But--but I don’t know how to change a diaper!” Ferin complained.
“Too bad!” Erizel shot back. “Change the baby and watch the horses. Mystif, come with me. We’ll scout ahead.”
The two walked off around a corner, leaving Ferin alone with the wailing Valtiera.
“I don’t see anything but forest,” Mystif said.
“Me neither, but did you really want to stay and watch Ferin change the baby?” Erizel asked. They heard Ferin yelp from back by their makeshift camp.
“Ouch! Blast it, the little whelp bit me! He’s got fangs!”
“Deal with it!” Erizel called back. Suddenly, there was a rustling in the bushes. The two thieves turned as a thin black wolf came out of the foliage. It wore around its neck a bloodstone pendant.
“Erizel. Mystif.” The voice was coming from the wolf, but it undoubtedly belonged to the sorcerer who had hired them. “You have the baby and the gem?”
“Yes, Master,” Erizel said with a slight bow. “Ferin’s watching them.”
“Good. Very good.” he wolf fixed them both with burning eyes. “You are being followed. By the dragon, and also by the sorceress Lina Inverse.”
“The Bandit Killer?!” gasped Mystif, staring wide-eyed at his older brother. “She’ll slaughter us!”
“You needn’t worry about her if you hurry,” the wolf told them. “I have another group of bandits delivering another priceless artifact to me. They will distract Inverse and her friends while you make your way to me. But I suggest you hurry. Take the back roads and bypass Zefilia. It will be too dangerous for you to enter the town. After that, stop only in the most remote villages for supplies. And do not slow down! Inverse will be trailing you the whole way.”
“Shouldn’t we try to lose her?” Erizel said, confused.
“No,” laughed the wolf. “Let her come. I have plans for her and her companions.” With that, the wolf disappeared into the foliage.
“You heard the wolf,” Erizel said to his brother. “Let’s get back to camp and gather up Ferin and the brat.”
Mystif nodded. As Erizel moved away, the younger thief glanced back at the way the wolf had gone.
“The Bandit Killer....” Mystif shook his head. “This job has suddenly become more trouble than it’s worth.”
“I’m hungry!” Lina complained as the group trekked along the road to Zefilia. The red-haired sorceress fixed a glare at the golden dragon traveling along behind her. “You could have at least let us have lunch.”
“Lina-san! You had just eaten,” Filia said reproachfully. “The longer we delay, the farther away from us those kidnappers get.” She wrung her hands in distress. “They better not have harmed Valtiera.”
“Don’t worry, Filia-san,” Amelia said, patting Filia on the back. “I’m sure little Val’s fine.”
“Well, well, what have we here?” A familiar and not completely welcome voice came from behind them. The group whirled.
“Xellos!” Lina stalked over to where the trickster priest hovered in the air behind them, his trademark smile on his face. “What are you doing here?” Xellos started to open his mouth when Lina added, “And if you say ‘Sore wa himitsu desu,’ I will personally tear out your insides, understand?”
“Of-of course, Lina-san,” Xellos said, his smile not wavering. “It isn’t even supposed to be a secret why I’m here. Lord Beastmaster sent me to help get Valtiera back.”
“Why would a Mazoku want to help us?” Filia asked suspiciously.
“Can’t have him growing up rogue again, now can we?” Xellos floated right in front of Filia’s face. “Don’t you want my help, Filia? Ryuzoku are always so ungrateful.”
“Grr.....Take this, namagomi!” Filia pulled out her mace and prepared to hit Xellos over the head with it.
“Flare arrow!”
The golden dragon barely dived out of the way as a flare arrow flew at the group, frying Xellos. Wiping the soot off his clothes, Xellos glanced towards the top of the trail. A group of twelve bandits on horses stood there. At least five of them appeared to be sorcerers.
“I was wondering how long it would take them to get here,” Xellos murmured.
“You knew they were coming and didn’t tell us?” Zelgadis growled.
“This way is so much more interesting, don’t you think?” Xellos asked as the bandits rode down towards the group.
“This shouldn’t take long,” Lina snorted. “Obviously these guys haven’t heard of my reputation!”
The lead bandit cast a fireball and hurled it at the sorceress, who deflected it easily with a shield spell.
“Amateur,” she sniffed. “Try this! Elemekia lance!” The bandit screamed as he was toppled off his horse.
Meanwhile, two of the regular bandits rushed at Gourry, swords drawn. The swordsman pulled out his own blade, the one he had purchased after losing the Hikari no Ken. Even though the mounted bandits had the advantage, Gourry easily deflected their sword strokes. As he ducked under one swipe, he maneuvered his sword in a such a way that one of the bandits found his sword flying from his hands. The second bandit aimed a clumsy stroke at Gourry’s head. Gourry easily sidestepped it and hit the bandit’s horse on the rump with the flat of his sword. The horse reared and ran into the other bandit’s horse. Both the horses and their riders toppled to the ground in a heap.
Zelgadis drew his own sword as three of the bandits dismounted and approached him. One launched a fireball at him, which Zelgadis dodged.
“Think you can beat us, freak?” chuckled one of the bandits.
Zelgadis’s slight smile turned feral at that comment.
“Looks like you’re in trouble,” Xellos commented to the three bandits as he hovered just behind the chimera. Zelgadis ignored him. Without comment, the chimera gathered power into his hands and crouched to the ground.
"Earth below me, submit to my will! Dug Haut!"
The ground began to shake, tossing the bandits off their feet as huge stone spikes burst out of the ground. Several other bandits who had been attacking Amelia nearby were thrown as their horses began to rear wildly. The rest of the bandit’s mounts were obviously unnerved by the small earthquake and began to buck. The lead bandit’s horse, a nervous palomino, reared, tossing off both its rider and a small bundle which had been loosely secured to its back. A small round object wrapped in silk rolled out onto the ground.
“Enough!” the lead bandit growled. He glared at Zel, who was smiling smugly at the chaos around him. “I’ll show you real magic!” He held up his hands. “Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows...”
“A Dragon Slave!” gasped Filia.
“No you don’t! Elemekia Flame!” Lina’s spell forced the lead bandit to duck out of the way, effectively cutting off his spell.
“You idiots! Protect me while I cast the spell!” The bandit stopped when he realized that half his men were down and the rest were battling towards defeat. Fixing Lina with a baleful glare, the bandit scooped up the bundle that had fallen from his horse and mounted the palomino. “Retreat! Back to the master!”
The bandits that still had horses mounted and followed, while the rest took one look at Lina and company and ran off on foot.
“How did you like your workout, Lina-san?” Xellos asked mildly.
“I didn’t see you helping,” Filia growled.
“Well, if they didn’t have Val on them it’s none of my business, right?”
“Same old excuse,” snorted Lina.
“Well, what can you expect from a filthy Mazoku?” Filia said haughtily. Her eyes suddenly alighted on the object on the grass. “Hmm? What’s this?” She walked over to pick it up, but Lina beat her to it.
“Whatever it is, it’s MINE!”
“Says who? I found it!” Filia argued.
“The bandits dropped it,” Lina stated. “And you told me that I could have their treasure.”
“I said you could have their treasure when we get Valtiera back!”
“Don’t complain so much,” Lina grumbled. Carefully, she unwrapped the object, revealing a glowing green gem. “Oooh! I bet I could get a lot of money for this! I wonder if it’s magic.” She began to examine the gem, her eyes alighting on several runes carved into it. “What’s this say? It’s in some sort of weird language.” She tried to read it aloud. “It-tichi-kezo-”
“Lina, are you sure you should be reading that out loud?” Zelgadis questioned, moving to stand beside her.
“Don’t you want to know what it does?” Lina retorted angrily. She started reading again. “It-tachi kezo-futara--”
Almost imperceptibly, Xellos’s eyes opened a crack. He smiled slyly in sudden realization and took a step towards Lina, reaching for her arm.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Filia demanded, moving to intercept him. That was when Lina finished reading.
“Mezani-kao-hitar!”
Suddenly, the road was filled with blinding green light. Lina gave an exclamation of surprise, her hands going up instinctively to cover her eyes. The jewel fell to the ground, but Lina didn’t notice it. A strange sensation filled her. It seemed as if she was flying for a moment, suspended in the air, and then everything came crashing down on her.
She knew something was wrong the moment she opened her eyes. Everything felt strange and different. She turned to see if anything had happened to her companions...
....And found herself staring into her own face.
Lina’s mouth dropped open, as did the mouth of the person who appeared to be her.
“W-what am I doing over there?” the body that looked like hers asked in her own voice.
“What do you--” Lina stopped and put a hand to her mouth. Her voice sounded wrong. She glanced down and saw, instead of her own red and yellow clothes, a tan cloak and black low-heeled boots. Lifting her hands where she could see them, she realized that they were covered halfway by gloves, blue fingers made of stone were the only skin that could be seen. She realized then that metallic purple hair was covering one of her eyes.
I’m--I’m in Zel’s body! But then that means...
“Zel?” she said hesitantly to the red-haired figure still staring at her in shock.
“Lina?” Zel shook his--or rather, Lina’s--head. “What happened to us?”
“The gem!” Lina squawked. She reached down and picked it up off the ground, turning it over in her hands.
“Is there a reverse spell?” Zelgadis asked plaintively. Lina glared at him.
“Do you have something against my body?”
“Yes. It’s female, and it’s not mine. Do you see a reverse spell?”
“No...” Lina sighed and she lowered the gem. She turned to Zelgadis. “Is everyone else okay?”
“Wow! Hey, Amelia, how come I look like you?” Amelia, or at least, Amelia’s body, sat on the ground, hands at her chest. “You know, you’re very well-developed!”
“Gourry-san!” The body that was Gourry’s but had Amelia’s mind gasped. “Stop touching those!”
“But--” Gourry was stopped when Lina glared at him. “Zelgadis? What’s wrong with--”
“DROP THOSE YOU PERVERT!” Lina roared. Gourry’s hands moved away from his chest immediately.
“Lina-san? Is that you?” Amelia asked hesitantly, trying to get Gourry’s long blonde hair out of her eyes. When Lina nodded, her eyes traveled to Zel. “Then... Zelgadis-san?”
“Hai,” Zelgadis muttered, eyes lowering in embarrassment. When said lowered eyes found his chest, he suddenly blushed bright red and looked back up again.
“You’d better keep your hands off....you,” Lina warned him. She turned back to Amelia and Gourry. “Now, where are Filia and Xellos?”
A horrified scream from behind them answered that question. Everyone whirled to see Xellos, or rather Filia, staring down at herself in utter horror, her now purple slitted eyes wide in disgust.
“I’m a--a--” she stuttered, unable to get the words out.
“You’re very handsome, Filia-san,” Xellos commented, walking over. He didn’t seem to be at all flustered at being in Filia’s body, though Lina noted that Filia’s beribboned tail had popped out from under the dragon’s skirts and was dragging along the ground behind Xellos.
“You did this, didn’t you?” Filia accused him.
“You shouldn’t jump to conclusions,” Xellos told her, making a ‘tsk’ noise. Filia glared at him and reached down for her mace, only to shudder as she realized that it wasn’t on Xellos’s body.
“Looking for this?” Xellos very slowly pulled up Filia’s skirts, smiling evilly, and pulled out her mace.
“Give me that!” Filia reached for it. Xellos backed away, intending to phase out and belatedly realizing that he couldn’t do that in Filia’s body. Consequently, Filia managed to pull the mace away from him and promptly hit him on the head with it.
“Ittai...” Xellos rubbed his head and winced. He had forgotten that, in Filia’s body, pain was no longer a pleasurable thing. Groaning slightly, he reached over and retrieved his staff from where Filia had let it fall to the ground. As he stood, Filia sniffed and looked away, holding her mace protectively.
“Lina-san, look what you’ve done!” Filia stalked over to Lina. “I’m a--a--a filthy Mazoku!”
“And I’m a filthy Ryuzoku!” Xellos added in a perfect imitation of how Filia normally sounded, complete with waving tail.
“You just had to read the spell out loud, didn’t you?” Zelgadis grumbled, crossing his arms. Lina frowned fiercely, looking pointedly at where his arms were in relation to his chest. Zelgadis got the hint and immediately dropped his hands to his sides.
“Is there any way to fix us?” Amelia asked.
“Ne, Amelia, you’d need the spellbook for that,” Xellos reproached her.
“What spellbook?!” Lina immediately had Xellos in a headlock, her new chimerical strength holding off Xellos’s new dragon strength. “You knew what this spell would do and you still let me cast it?!”
“I thought it might be amusing,” Xellos defended himself. “All you need to do is get the spellbook from those bandits and you can fix yourself.” He smiled innocently. “Besides, Lina-san, you look so cute in Zel’s body!”
After a moment’s hesitation, both Lina and Zelgadis proceeded to beat the stuffing out of Xellos, who didn’t enjoy it nearly as much as usual. Once they were finished, Filia stepped forward.
“What do we do?” she wailed. “If we go after those bandits, we’ll lose the kidnappers who took Valtiera!”
“Don’t worry, Filia-san,” Xellos said weakly from where he lay in a beaten heap on the ground. “Those bandits work for the same person who kidnapped Valtiera. They’re all going to the same place.”
“And that place would be....?” Lina prompted.
“Sore wa himitsu desu,” Xellos said cheerfully.
This time, even Amelia joined in pounding Xellos into the ground.
“As much fun as it is beating on Xellos,” Zelgadis said, “shouldn’t we get moving? The more time we waste here, the farther away those bandits are getting with the spellbook, and I would like to get my body back sometime.”
“But Zel, I thought you wanted to be human again,” Xellos said.
“On second thought, beating up Xellos more has a certain charm to it.”
“No time,” Lina decided. “You’re right, Zel. We can’t afford to lose much more time.”
“Maybe we should try raywinging after them,” Amelia suggested. Then a thought occurred to her. ‘Can I do that it Gourry-san’s body?”
“No,” Xellos told her. “If he knew how, Gourry could perform magic while in your body. You can only perform the spells to which your body is suited. Which means, for example, that if the Ryuzoku weren’t so greedy and would let us poor innocent Mazoku know their holy spells, I could cast Filia-san’s magic. And she could use my magic if she knew how.”
“Like I would stoop to using the magic of a slimy piece of trash Mazoku!” Filia scoffed, insulted.
“That’s not very nice, Filia-san,” Xellos reproached her. “Dragons are so temperamental. No wonder we Mazoku can slaughter them so easily.”
Filia seethed for a few moments, then aimed her mace at Xellos’s head. Lina stopped her.
“Wait.” Lina turned to Xellos. “Does this mean that I can’t use some of my spells, like the Dragon Slave? What about the Ragna Blade?”
“You can’t use those,” Xellos told her with infuriatingly cheerfulness. “But Zelgadis can.”
“WHAT?!” Lina rounded on Zelgadis. “Gimme back my powers!”
“It’s not my fault!” Zelgadis defended himself, taking a nervous step backwards. “You’re the one who got us into this!”