You Know You're Filipino If...

MANNERS AND PERSONAL TRAITS:

1. You point with your lips.
2. You eat using your hands and have your own personal technique.
3. Your other piece of luggage is a balikbayan box.
4. You board the plane as the passenger with the biggest hand carriedluggage.
5. You nod upwards to greet someone.
6. You put your foot up on your chair and rest your elbow while eating.
7. You use a stone to scrub yourself in the shower.
8. You have to kiss all relatives on the cheek as soon as you enter theroom.
9. You collect items from a hotel or restaurant "for souvenir."
10. You smile for no reason.
11. You go to a department store and try to bargain the prices.
12. You use an umbrella for shade on a hot summer day.
13. You like bowling.
14. You know how to play pusoy or mah-jong.
15. You have an unwarranted "H" to your name,i.e."Juhn," "Bhoy," "Rhon."
16. You put your hands together in front of you as if to make a path and
say "excuse,excuse" while walking through a crowd.
17. Your middle name is your mother's maiden-name.
18. You check the labels on your clothes before you buy them.
19. You wash your clothes by hand.
20. You hang your clothes out to dry.
21. You always offer food to your visitors.
22. You're standing next to eight big boxes at the airport.
23. Your house has a distinctive aroma.
24. You flirt by having a foolish grin on your face while raising your
eyebrows repeatedly.
25. You scratch your head when you don't know the answer.
26. You never eat the last morsel of food on the table.
27. You find dried up morsels of rice stuck to your shirt.
28. You prefer to sit in the shade instead of baking in the sun.
29. You buy tons of bath towels when they go on sale.
30. You love to buy sale items even when you do not need them.
31. You are a member of the "SDK" Club (Samahang double knit).
32. You are still wearing outdated clothing you have when you first came
to the USA.
33. You send out RSVP invitations even if the party is to be at home.
34. You love to wear all you expensive jewelry's when attending parties to
the extent of having 2-3 rings on both hands, 3 pieces of necklace or
bracelets at the same time.

VOCABULARY

1. You pronounce P's like F's and F's like P's.
2. You say "comfort room" instead of "bathroom."
3. You say "open" or "close" the light.
4. You ask for a "pentel-pen" or a "ball-pen" instead of just a "pen."
5. You say "ha?" instead of "what?"
6. You say "hoy" to get someone's attention.
7. You turn around when someone says "psssst."
8. You say "he" when you mean "she" and vice versa.
9. You say "aray" instead of "ouch."
10. You say "air-con" instead of "air conditioner."
11. You say "brown out" instead of "black out."
12. You say "for take out" instead of "to go."
13. You ask for "Colgate" instead of "toothpaste."
14. You refer to the refrigerator as the "ref" or "pridyider."
15. You say kodakan instead of "take a picture."
16. You order a "McDonald's" instead of a "hamburger" (pronouncedham-booh-jer).
17. You answer when someone yells "Hoy!"
18. You say "Cutex" instead of "nail polish."
19. You say "for a while" instead of "please hold" on the telephone.
20. Your sneeze sounds like "ahh-ching" instead of "ahh-choo."
21. You prefer to make acronyms for phrases such as "OA" for
over-acting, "DOM" for dirty old man, and TNT for well you know.
22.You pronounce the following words: "hippopo-TA-mus,"
"com-FOR-table," "bro-CO-li," "and "Mongomerry Ward."
23. You say "Uy!" instead of "Oops."

HOME FURNISHING

1. You have a portrait of the last supper in your dining room.
2. You own a Karaoke system.
3. You own a piano that no one ever plays.
4. You have a "tabo" in the bathroom.
5. You have two or three pairs of slippers on the doorstep.
6. You have a rose garden.
7. You have a shrine of "santo ninyo" in your home.
8. You cover your living room furniture with bed sheets.
9. Your lampshades still have plastic coves on them.
10. You have plastic runners to cover the carpets in your house.
11. You have a rice dispenser.
12. You own a turbo broiler.
13. You use walis tambo and walis ting-ting as opposed to the
conventional broom.
14. You have "Weapons of Moroland" shield hanging in your living room
wall.
15. Your house is cluttered with boroloys.
16. You display a big laughing Buddha for good luck.
17. You own a "Barrel Man" (shwing!)
18. You have a parol hanging outside the house during the holidays.
19. You refer to the VCR as the "Beytamax."
20. You own one of those fiber-optic lower lamps.
21. You own a lamp with the oil that drips down the strings.
22. You have a giant wooden fork and spoon hanging in the dining room.
23. You have wooden tinikling dancers on the wall.
24. You own capiz chandeliers, lamps, or placemats.

AUTOMOBILES

1. You own a Mercedes Benz and call it "chendeng."
2. You own a huge van conversion.
3. Your car chirps like a bird or plays a tune when it's in reverse.
4. Your car horn makes three or more different sounds.
5. Your car has curb feelers on it.
6. You hang a rosary on your car's rear view mirror.
7. You have those air fresheners in a bottle.

FAMILY

1. You have aunts and uncles named "baby," "girl," or "boy."
2. You were raised to believe that every Filipino is an aunt, uncle, or
cousin.
3. Your mom or sister is a nurse.
4. Your parents call each other "ma" or "pa."
5. You have a family member that has a nickname that repeats itself, i.e.
"deng-deng," "ling-ling," or "bing-bing."
6. Your dad was in the navy.
7. You get smelling kisses from your grandmother.

FOOD

1. You put hot dogs in your spaghetti.
2. You think that eating chocolate rice pudding and dried fish is a great
breakfast.
3. You instinctively grab a toothpick after every meal.
4. You order "soft drink" instead of "soda."
5. You dip bread in your morning coffee and hot chocolate.
6. Your tablecloth has soy sauce and patis stains.
7. Your cupboard is full of Spam, Vienna Sausage, Ligo Sardines, and
corned beef.
8. "Goldilocks" means more to you than a character in a fairytale.
9. You appreciate a fresh pot of rice.
10. You bring your "baon" most of the time to work.
11. Your "baon" is usually something over rice.
12. You eat rice for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
13. You use your fingers to measure water when cooking rice.
14. You re-use disposable plastic utensils and Styrofoam cups.
15. You have a supply of frozen lumpia in the freezer.
16. You have an ice shaver for making halo-halo.
17. You eat ube ice cream.
18. You fry spam and hot dogs and eat them over rice.
19. You think that half-hatched ducks (balot) are a delicacy.
20. You consider dilis the Filipino equivalent of French Fries.
21. You order things like tapsilog or tocilog at restaurants.
22. You refer to seasonings and all other forms of MSG as "Ajinomoto."
23. Your neighbors complain about the smell of tuyo on Sunday mornings.
24. Your tablecloth has tell-tale "tuyo circles" on them.
25. You eat purple yam-flavored ice cream.
26. You always have a bottle of Julran handy.
27. You know that "chocolate meat" isn't really made with chocolate.

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