"Denlb Qatlh (Denedian Slime Devil)," screeched Lieutenant Torres as she grabbed her mug of Hlgglj (black ale) and threw it at Tom's head. Tom ducked in the nick of time so that the heavy stein missed his head, but found himself bathed in the brew. "Now Lanna," he began, wondering how to escape. As he eyed the door, Torres growled and said, "I'll give you a one minute lead before I hunt you down and tear you apart." Tom ran and he didn't stop until he'd found an out-of-the-way Jeffries tube after he had tossed his comm badge in the mess hall six decks up. Now the waiting began.
B'Elanna Torres, famed chief engineer and half-Klingon, ran a hand through her hair just before she whirled around and kicked the hologram in her 44DD breasts. The woman grunted as she flew backwards and smacked soundly into the wall behind the bar. "ghuy'cha'," she swore as the redhead came to rest on the floor. Thoughts of chopping off Tom's offending part filled her mind and made her grin in cruel satisfaction. Raising a fist, she shook it in the air and then exclaimed, "Hab SoSll' Quck (Your mother has a smooth forehead)!" Though the words wouldn't insult anyone but a Klingon, just uttering them made the Klingon in Torres stand straighter with pride. Bellying up to the bar, she ordered another black ale and then turned around. Leaning her elbows and back against the bar, she bent one knee out. She looked like an old-fashioned gunslinger waiting for his enemy.
"Computer, what is the current location of Lieutenant Torres," Seven asked the computer after discovering Ensign Paris's 'hiding' place. Listening to his saga, she told him to return to his quarters and remain there until his shift tomorrow. She would handle the Lieutenant. "Better you than me," was his parting shot. * Lieutenant Torres is in holodeck one. * Nodding, Seven took long strides toward the turbolift heading for that holodeck.
When the holodeck doors slid open, B'Elanna's eyes shifted their position to study the new person. Blowing air through her lips noisily, Torres returned to glaring at the huddled patrons at the other end of the room. "Ql'yaH! Get the hell out of here, Borg," she said venomously. Without acknowledging B'Elanna's comment, Seven came forward and said, "I have come here to stop you from eliminating Ensign Paris." Turning her head sharply to look at Seven, Torres hissed, "You know where the petaQ is?" "Yes." Slamming her drink on the bar, Torres grabbed Seven by the arm and pulled her in tight. "Well," she questioned, "where is he so that I can put him out of my misery?" "I do not understand your statement," replied Seven without emotion. Glancing over to the dead barmaid with the big hooters, as Tom was fond of calling breasts, Torres added, "I'm going to rip his dick off and make him and his girlfriend eat it!" She seethed as anger oozed out of every pore. Deadpan, Seven asked, "Will it not be a small meal?" It took several minutes for the comment to sink in before Torres let out a braying laugh. Letting go of Seven's arm, she faced her and asked, "Did you really say that?" Seven cocked an eyebrow without answering. Tipping her chin up, B'Elanna eyed the blond and then smiled. "Have a drink, Seven. I think it's time we got to know one another better." "Acceptable," stated Seven returning the grin.
Both women ordered black ale and made their way across the room to a table in the corner. As Torres approached that end of the bar, the patrons who had taken refuge there sidled along the far wall and headed toward the door leading out. None were Star Fleet, so the holograms just disappeared as they walked through the outer door. B'Elanna pushed her chair back on two legs, placed one foot on the table and then took a big gulp of her brew as she studied Seven. She liked the way Seven wore her hair in that severe bun and the way her body flowed in the biosuit when she walked. Most of all, she thought the ocular implant above her left eye was the sexiest thing she'd ever seen. "So Seven, how are things," she asked trying to get a conversation going. "Fine," was the reply. "Ooooooookkkkkaayy�" Torres drawled, "Do you like this ale?" "It is�acceptable," stated Seven looking uptight. Seven sat with her back ramrod straight and barely tasted the ale. "Look," said Torres, "I know we haven't gotten along in the past, but I want to change that. I'd like to be your�friend," she finished. "State your reasons for this change in attitude," Seven ordered. B'Elanna tipped forward and let her chair hit hard as it landed. "Hey, if you don't want to be friends, then to hell with it. Finish your drink and we'll go our separate ways. Okay?" Torres frowned again, pissed off at Seven now as well as Tom. Seven placed her ale back on the table and looked sadly at Torres. "It was not my intention to upset you Lieutenant. I would enjoy being your friend�very much." B'Elanna, who had been looking at the scratched wooden table, grinned and lifted her head. Raising her ale, she waited for Seven to do the same before saying, "Here's to us, then." They talked well into the night and drank more than either should have, but since alcohol affected Seven much more than it did Torres, she was downright drunk. "My shoes seem to be malfunctioning," she slurred to Torres as she attempted to walk. "I don't think it's the shoes, Seven. Maybe you'd better stay with me tonight. You're in no condition to regenerate," stated B'Elanna, who felt a little off-balance, too. As they headed down the corridor, hanging on to each other for support, both giggled and laughed at one another's comments and shot deadly looks at any crewmember that glanced their way. So they thought. The recipients of this 'look' had a good time telling the tale the next morning to laughing co-workers. "Shall we go and exterminate Ensign Paris before regenerating," asked the drunken ex-borg. B'Elanna stopped suddenly, almost throwing them both off balance as she considered the question. "Not now. I have a better plan," she whispered.
They stumbled into Torres's quarters and fell to the floor. "B'Elanna Torres, you are in need of a softer floor." B'Elanna rolled away from the prone woman and giggled as Seven tried to roll onto her side. After two attempts, Seven gave a big push off the floor and rolled onto her side and then over onto B'Elanna. B'Elanna, who'd been startled at the oncoming Borg, put her hands out and caught the other woman�by her breasts. B'Elanna tore her hands away as if they'd been burned and would have apologized had Seven not toppled over onto her. Seven began to giggle as she moved her body on B'Elanna's. Before long, her hand snaked down and stroked her right thigh. In a low, smoky voice, Seven said, "Is that a hyperspanner in your pocket?" Torres who was still in shock and trying not to react physically to the beauty crawling around on her body, rolled her eyes at the comment and then replied, "Have you been asking Ensign Paris for dating advice again?" Seven leaned down into B'Elanna's face as if she meant to kiss her, but instead rolled off her and said, "No, is this a hyperspanner in your pocket?" It took a couple of minutes for the comment to reach her brain, but when it did, she reached down and felt where Seven had. Putting her hand in her pants pocket, she pulled out a�you guessed it, a hyperspanner. That killed her. "Na uh," she said as she rolled around and then tossed the instrument over her head. Seven looked confused and stayed on her side swaying slightly. "Lieutenant," she began, just before Torres rolled her over onto her back and kissed her deeply. Seven opened her mouth to give B'Elanna better access as she probed her lips with her tongue. Her hands roamed Seven's body making it feel as if it were on fire, a fire that only she could put out, so when her hands searched for the zipper on the biosuit, Seven sat up and showed her where it was. "joH'a' (God)" B'Elanna breathed as the top fell off of Seven's shoulder. "Are you sure," Torres asked Seven gently. "Yes, but ngeD (be easy) B'Elanna Torres," replied Seven. "toh, tlhlngan Hol DajatlhlaH 'e' DaneH'a, (so, you want to speak Klingon?)" asked Torres. "nga'chug, (perform sex)" replied Seven to the question. "Now Lieutenant," she finished. "I will comply," stated B'Elanna as she finished removing Seven's clothing.
When Torres woke up with Seven beside her, her head pounded from the hangover but her body felt terrific. Pulling the sheets back slowly so she wouldn't wake Seven, she turned her gaze to the creamy skin of the woman beside her. Had she been a religious person, Torres would have prayed at the alter of Seven, especially�rightttt�hereeeeeee, she thought as her hand played in the blond thatch of hair above Seven's sex. "That feels very nice, Lieutenant," purred Seven, waking up to the Klingon's touch. "Computer, what is the time?" asked Torres of the ship's systems. * The time is 0341 hours. * "Do you remember when I said I had a plan for Ensign Paris?" she asked slyly. Seven rolled onto her side and faced B'Elanna. "Yes, Lieutenant." B'Elanna rolled her eyes and said, "And will you please stop calling me that!" Nodding her acceptance, Seven said, "Then how am I to address you?" "How 'bout B'Elanna, or Lanna or whatever you Borg have by way of endearments," she chuckled as she cupped Seven's full breast. Seven pulled her on top of her and said, "I will call you toy'wl'a' (slave) then," she teased Torres. Allowing Seven to pull her closer, Torres kissed her and said, "We will address that issue later, but right now do you feel up to a little adventure?" A smile spread slowly across Seven's features before she answered. "Of course."
Both dressed in all black and hugged the walls as they made their way to Tom's quarters. "Did you get the hypospray from sickbay?" Torres whispered to Seven. Seven answered by showing it to her. "Good, let's go." When they got to his quarters, Torres punched in his code and wasn't really surprised when it opened. "Idiot, he didn't even bother to change his security code," she whispered feeling unaccountably angered. As they tiptoed to his bedroom, B'Elanna put out her hand to receive the hypospray from Seven. Leaning in, she placed it against his neck and pressed the trigger. "Computer lights. 75%," said Seven now standing to full height. The lights came up and B'Elanna rubbed her hands together. "Let's get to work," she exclaimed happily. When they were done, they stepped back and observed their work, pleased with the outcome. B'Elanna put her arms around Seven's waist and said in a sexy voice, "We do have a couple more hours to�sleep if we want." "That is acceptable, toy'wl'a'." "Ah, we really need to have a talk about that," said B'Elanna. "Do not talk. Just follow me," replied Seven anxious to get back to bed.
The next morning as people straggled in for breakfast, they were greeted by the sight of Tom Paris sitting in a chair, completely naked with a blow up doll riding his dick. As he slept on unaware, a crowd began to form and laugh. Whoever had done this had also placed a sign around Tom's neck that read "Available upon request." When Captain Kathryn Janeway entered the mess hall for her morning coffee, she spied the crowd and went over to them. "What's going on?" she asked as her crewmembers parted to give her a better view. "Oh," she said clearly startled, just before she began to laugh. Wiping tears from her eyes, she told someone to wake him. Tom woke slowly to someone shaking his shoulder and then stretched lazily causing the doll to lean forward and appear to kiss him. "What the�" he said as he realized that something was on him. Looking closely at it, he grabbed it, pulled it off and threw it to the ground with disgust before he saw where he was and realized that he felt kind of cool. Looking down he saw that he was also naked and standing at attention (well, little Tom was) in front of the Captain. His hands went down to quickly cover his penis. "Ah Captain," he sputtered trying to figure out what to say. Holding up a hand and trying not to laugh, Janeway spoke up, using her command voice. "Ensign, I don't remember changing the dress code. And I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have changed it to this," she stated waving a hand up and down his body before continuing. "Perhaps you could do us the honor of dressing before you report to the bridge." "Yes, ma'am," he replied miserably. "And Ensign," Janeway said, "Take your friend with you." Picking up the sex doll, he put her in front of him and ran to the exit. "I hope I never have to see that again before breakfast," replied Harry to a laughing Chakotay. "Yeah, me too," Chakotay replied back. Just as Seven and B'Elanna reached the mess hall, the doors slid open and out ran Tom with his doll. "Who's your friend," yelled B'Elanna, "Anyone I know?" As B'Elanna fell into Seven laughing her ass off, Janeway came out of the mess hall holding a carafe of coffee. Looking at the two, she said, "I don't suppose you had anything to do with that, Lieutenant?" B'Elanna blinked back tears, "No, but I wish I had�must have been good." "Uh huh," was Janeway's comment. Looking at the two, she knew she was missing something, but all she could do was wish them both a good day and move on. "Don't forget this afternoon's staff meeting," she reminded them before she departed. "Shall I put in a request for Ensign Paris now, Captain?" said Seven with a straight face and as Kathryn swung around to look at the blond, she thought she detected a twinkle in her eye.