Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of a sugar cone to prevent ice cream drips
Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake. You're probably lying on the couch with your feet up anyway.
Martha's way #2
To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes
Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix and keep it in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha's way #3
When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead (wait a sec...what cake mix?) and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Go to the bakery. They'll even decorate it for you.
Martha's way #4
If you accidentally over-salt a dish while cooking, drop in a peeled potato - it will absorb the excess sal
If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too damn bad. Please recite with me, The Real Woman's motto, "I made it and you will eat it."
Martha's way #5
Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for week
Celery? Never heard of the stuff.
Martha's way #6
Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish
The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust so I don't do it.
Martha's way #7
Cure for headaches: Take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
The Real Woman's Way
1 1/2 oz. vodka plus one quarter of a lime mixed with tonic and taken hourly makes more than just those throbbing headaches go away. It will improve your entire outlook on life. (Like I said, I like vodka gimlets...)
Martha's way #8
If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
The Real Woman's Way
Go ask the good looking neighbor to do it.
And finally the most important tip...
Martha's way #9
Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
The Real Woman's Way
Leftover wine????
4 - 6 "Martha's Way" - Not only are you a "Real Woman!"; you are also perfectly balanced! Congratulations on being normal!
7 or more "Martha's Way" - I don't believe you are even a real person. You are a "Stepford Woman"! Say hello to Kathie Lee from the rest of us!
