The first thing she was aware of was the incessant beeping. It was annoying, and more importantly, it was keeping her awake. She started to roll over only to discover a whole new reason to be awake. PAIN. Unbelievable, blinding pain. She stopped her movements abruptly. That was when she felt the soothing hand on her forehead and realised someone was speaking to her.

"Shh, Joey, relax. It's okay. The doctor's on her way. Just lie back," Dawson comforted.

Joey relaxed back into the pillows. Then opened her eyes, in shock. Dawson? What the. . . "Pacey?" she whispered, hardly recognising her own voice.

"Shh, it's okay, he's fine. Just a few scratches, nothing too serious. You're the one who had us scared, Jo," Dawson said, smiling sweetly. "You should have mentioned you'd planned a four day nap."

"Wha. . ." She tried to clear her dry throat.

"Here." Dawson held a straw to her lips and she sipped the cool water gratefully.

"What happened?" she whispered. "Where's Pacey? Why isn't he here?"

Dawson looked at her a bit strangely. "Pacey's in the hall. Do you want to see him?"

"Of course."

Dawson shot her another funny look and went to the door. Before he could open it, the doctor entered, followed closely by Pacey. "Well Miss Potter, I'm happy to finally see you again."

"Hi, Dr. Martin," Joey said rather absently, she had eyes only for Pacey. He looked to be okay, a slight bruising on one cheek and a few scratches the only outward signs of any injury. "Hey," Joey said, smiling brightly at him, extending her hand towards him.

Pacey looked at her quizzically, but took the proffered hand. She pulled him closer to her kissing his knuckles then tucking his hand under her chin. "Will *you* tell me what hap -" She stopped short, finally fully taking in her surroundings, what the. . . "Where am I?" She turned to the doctor. "Dr. Martin, what are you doing here?"

The doctor made a few notes on her chart then began to examine Joey. "What's the last thing you remember, Joey" she asked, checking the younger woman's eyes.

Joey thought for a moment. "I was up on deck, painting. We were trying to decide whether or not we needed to go into port to go grocery shopping." She squeezed her eyes shut, then shook her head, instantly regretting the action as pain sliced through her temples. She took a moment to catch her breath. "That's all I remember." She turned to Pacey. "Did something happen, did we hit bad weather?"

Pacey was, by now, thoroughly confused. "Jo -"

"Joey, do you know what today's date is?" the doctor interrupted Pacey.

"Um, Dawson said I was out for four days, right?" The doctor nodded. "Then it's what, August twenty-fifth, twenty-sixth?" She saw the shock on their faces. "What?" She closed her eyes again, images started to melt together, then separated and suddenly it all cleared and she finally knew what was wrong. She felt the tears on her cheeks before she even realised she was crying.

"Joey, what is it? What do you remember?" Pacey asked, concerned.

She let go of his hand, suddenly self-conscious. "It was all a dream," she whispered, the tears coming faster now. "It was all a stupid dream."

Pacey and Dawson just looked at each other, neither understanding what Joey was talking about. "Jo, what is it? Did you have a nightmare?" Dawson asked carefully.

She couldn't look at him. "No, the dream wasn't a nightmare, waking up was."

Shortly after that the doctor had hustled the boys out of Joey's room saying she needed to finish her examination.

"What the hell was that all about?" Dawson asked as he and Pacey entered the waiting room.

"I have no idea, man. She seemed pretty torn up about that dream though." Pacey wandered about the room.

"I know, she seemed a bit lost to me." Dawson hesitated for a moment. "She asked for you."

Pacey stopped his roaming. "What?"

"When she woke up. The first thing she did was ask for you. She seemed shocked that I was there and not you."

"I - uh, I was in the car too, Dawson. She was probably just worried about me. She knew I was driving," Pacey said confidently, though he too was a bit disconcerted by Joey's behaviour. Why *had* she asked for him? And the whole hand holding thing when he came in the room, that just wasn't Joey. He smiled to himself, not that Joey Potter holding his hand was a bad thing. He sighed heavily, his thoughts returning to their conversation in the truck. He couldn't decide whether he wanted to go back to Boston and stomp college boy or thank him for getting the hell out of Joey's life. Maybe both was best, he could stomp him *then* thank him. His musings were interrupted by Dawson's voice.

"Pacey, were the hell'd you go? Have you heard a word I said?"

"What? Sorry, D, kinda zoned for a minute. What'd you say?" Pacey tried to shake loose the cobwebs.

"I asked you *again* what is was that made you drive all the way to Boston in the middle of the night to bring Joey home."

"And I'll answer you the same way I have for the last four days, Dawson, that is for Joey to tell, not me. If she wants to explain her situation to you, I'm sure she will," Pacey snapped, exasperated by Dawson's bulldog tenacity.

"Come off it Pacey. You know she'll tell me, she always does. I'm just very curious as to why you two were out on that highway that morning."

"Dammit, Dawson, no!" Pacey gritted out. "If she wants to tell you she will. Please don't ask me to betray her confidence."

Dawson snorted. "Her confidence, c'mon, Pacey, since when did you become- " Dawson's sarcastic tirade was cut off by the arrival of Bessie Potter.

"They called and said she was awake," Bessie said, moving to take Pacey's hand. "Is she okay? Did you talk to her?"

Pacey squeezed Bessie's hand gently. "The doctor's with her now. She said she'll talk to us as soon as she finishes examining Jo."

"But you saw her?"

"Yes, Bessie we saw her. Dawson was with her when she woke up. She was a bit confused but seemed to get back on track fairly quickly. I'm sure she's going to be fine."

"Thank God." Bessie collapsed into a chair. "I don't know what I'd do if anything happened to her," she whispered.

The doctor arrived to tell them all that it looked like Joey was going to be fine. The examination looked good and she was confident that Joey would make a full recovery. She also told them that Joey had fallen asleep but that Bessie could go in to sit with her.

The all heaved sighs of relief after the doctor left the room.

"See, I told you, she's going to be fine, Bess." The woman who arrived with Bessie sat next to her. "Joey's strong, just like all us Potter girls." Bessie smiled at her, thanked the boys and went to sit with her sister.

Pacey was struck dumb, he had been concentrating on Bessie and the doctor and had failed to notice the woman with her, until now. It had been a very long time, six years in fact, since he had last seen her, but there was no mistaking that hair or those eyes. "Carson?" he breathed.

The redhead stood up, smiling brightly. "Hey you."

"Oh my god, it is you." Pacey stared at her in wonder, until she gathered him in for a tight hug. He held her close. "I've missed you so much," he whispered his voice breaking.

"I've missed you to, sweetie," she said, holding him even tighter. "I've missed you too." She held him for a moment longer then released him completely, taking a step back to examine him more thoroughly.

"My, god, look at you. You're beautiful, and so *tall*."

Pacey blushed profusely. Then grinned mischievously. "Well. . . I don't know about the beautiful thing, but, I'm pretty sure the tall thing is all a matter of perspective." His grin broadened as the tiny redhead glared up at him.

"You, are a brat."

"And that's why you love me." Pacey ducked as she swatted him again. "When did you get into town?" he asked sitting down.

Carson joined him. "A couple of hours ago. I stopped in to see Bess and Joey and Bess told me about the accident." She reached up to gently brush his bruised cheek. "Are you okay baby?"

Pacey blushed at her use of the endearment. "Car. . ." He could see her start to get her stubborn up and sighed. "I'm fine. Just a few scratches and bruises. Joey got the worst of it."

Carson could see the pain and worry in his eyes. "C'mon, let's go for a walk."

Pacey balked at the idea. "Car, I'd rather not, if Joey wakes up. . ."

"If she wakes up her sister is there to tell her we'll be right back." She could still see the hesitation. "Pacey, Bessie told me you've been here since they released you. You need a break. We'll just go down to the cafeteria and get some coffee, okay?"

Pacey nodded reluctantly and turned to Dawson. "D, if Joey wakes up, please come get me."

Dawson nodded. He had watched the exchange between the two silently. "Aren't you going to even say hello, Carson?"

"Oh, my God, I'm sorry, Dawson. I just. . ." She grinned sheepishly. "I'm sorry, it's good to see you." She hugged him briefly.

Dawson laughed and hugged her back. "S'okay, he always was your favourite."

They all laughed, and Pacey and Carson left the waiting room. They were standing waiting for the elevator when she took his hand, swinging it between them. "It's good to see you, PJ."

Pacey winced at her as they got on the elevator. "Do you have to call me *that*?"

"Pacey John, I've called you *that* since you were four years old and I will continue to call you *that* as long as I like."

Pacey sighed. "I don't know why I bothered it's not like you've ever listened to me before."

Carson laughed. "I always listen to you, baby, I just rarely do what you want."

"Potter girls," Pacey snorted. "Obstinate creatures every one of 'em," he muttered to himself.

Carson laughed and smacked his arm. "If we're so damn difficult to live with why can you not seem to stay away, hmm?" she asked with a smirk.

"You want coffee or tea?" Pacey asked, ignoring her remark.

Carson laughed softly at his avoidance technique. "Coffee, then we talk."

Pacey nodded reluctantly then took his time getting them their drinks. When he finally joined her at the table he sipped his coffee carefully, refusing to meet her eyes.

Carson left him to his thoughts, knowing he'd talk when he was ready.

They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Pacey began to talk. "I haven't told her."

"Why not?"

"Well, there was the issue of her boyfriend."

"Was she serious about him? I got the impression from your letters that she wasn't."

Pacey shrugged. "She was serious enough to go spend the weekend with him."

"Mhm, okay. So, you drove her to the train on Friday, she was supposed to spend the weekend." She waited for his nod. "You said in your e-mail that she wasn't coming back until Sunday night. Wasn't that what had you so upset, she was going to be spending the night there?" Again she waited for him to agree. "Then how did you two end up in a car accident, together, on Saturday morning."

Pacey took a deep breath, he'd really rather not have relived that awful morning. "She called me. Evidently there was another girl."

"Oh no! Poor Joey. What happened?"

"I'm not sure, we were talking about it when that idiot hit us. But from what I gathered she was his oldest and best friend, and Joey, being the kind of person she is, made him realise that he had more than friendly feeling for this other girl."

"Poor Joey."

"Yeah, she was pretty upset. We were almost home before she'd even tell me what was wrong."

Carson was shocked. "You mean to tell me you didn't know what was wrong when you went to get her? She didn't tell you on the phone?"

Pacey shook his head. "She was upset. I could tell by her voice that she'd been crying."

"So you drove all the way to Boston in the middle of the night to get this girl. And you don't think she know's how you feel?" Carson asked incredulously.

Pacey shrugged and laughed humourlessly. "It's in the water around here. Makes us all blind and stupid. She's not the first to be afflicted."

Carson shook her head. "Pace, you are the closest thing I have ever had to a baby brother and I love you dearly. And as much as it pains me to say this, it really must be said. You, are an idiot."

"Wha - what did I do?" Pacey objected.

"For the last, what, six months, all I've heard about is Joey this and Joey that. I listened to you fall in love with her. I have a folder full of e-mails to that same end. I'll say again what I have told you a thousand times already, tell her, not me!"

"I can't," Pacey whispered

"Why not?" she asked gently.

"It's complicated Car."

Carson reached across the table to take his hand. "You have never been afraid of anything in your life, Pacey, why this?"

Pacey closed his eyes for a minute then looked at her. "I'm not sure, Car. I guess I've never wanted anything this much before."

Carson felt her eyes fill with tears of sympathy for him. "I'm so sorry, baby. I wish -" She was interrupted by Dawson's arrival.

"Bessie sent me. Joey's awake and wants to see us."

Pacey and Carson stood to follow him. "Does she know I'm here?" Carson asked.

"I don't think so. She asked to see Pacey, so I guess Bessie wanted you to be a surprise to her like you were to the rest of us. I'm sure she'll be happy to see her favourite cousin." He grinned at Carson.

She smiled at him. "I'm sure she will."

They made their way to Joey's floor and entered her room in time to hear Bessie say, "I'm not sure what you want me to say, Jo, I think you know as well as I do what it means, as for what -"

"Hi!" Joey said brightly, interrupting her sister. "Pacey, I'm so glad you're alright. I was worried. . ." She trailed off when she saw the woman behind him. "Carson!" she squealed.

"Hi Jojo." Cardon moved to her cousins bedside. "How you feeling little one?" She hugged Joey carefully, aware of her injuries.

"I'll be fine, they doctor says if I'm able to eat something and keep it down, they may even send me home tomorrow."

Dawson hugged her. "That's wonderful, Jo. You had me pretty worried."

Joey shifted awkwardly out of his arms. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to worry anyone." She looked up to meet Pacey's eyes. "How 'bout you, Pace, were you worried too?"

Pacey nodded slowly, not sure what to make of what he could see in her eyes. He hid his discomfort behind a smirk. "Of course I was, but not for long. Once I found out it was your hard head you hit, well. . ."

Joey shook her head at this typical Paceyism. "Yeah well, I'm not the one who walked away unscathed, am I?" she shot back. "So who would you say has the hardest head?" Their eyes caught again and held. They were both unaware of the scrutiny of the two women in the room. Both Bessie and Carson watched the exchange with interest then looked at each other and smiled.

"So, Jo, what do you want to do to celebrate your release tomorrow?" Dawson asked, seemingly unaware of the tension.

"Um, guys, do you mind if I speak to Pacey alone for a minute?" Joey asked, apparently not having heard Dawson's question.

Dawson looked at her, startled. "Wha ? Sure, I- um, I'll be right outside." He shot her a wounded look and left.

Bessie and Carson both fled the room without saying a word.

Joey fiddled with her IV for a minute, then she looked up at him, her eyes sad. "Pace. . ." She looked down again.

Pacey could see she was struggling with something. He sat carefully on the bed beside her. "What is it, Jo? What's wrong?"

"I - I just. . ." she sighed. "I'm sorry," she said softly.

Pacey was confused. "For what?"

"The accident."

She shocked him. "Unless you made the jerk that hit us drink all night then decide to drive home, the accident was in no way your fault."

"But I called you to come get- "

"Stop." Pacey held up his hand. "You listen to me. I came to get you because you're my friend and you needed my help." He took her hand. "Please don't blame yourself because some idiot made a really bad decision."

Joey wasn't listening. All she could think about was his hand holding hers. The dream she had was still with her. She hadn't been able to shake it. It was as though it was a real memory instead of just a dream. The memory of his hands on her, the taste of his lips, it was all there.

"Jo?"

"Hmm?" She looked up at him and smiled. "I'm okay, Pacey. I was just thinking that's all."

"You want to talk about it?"

"About what?"

Pacey frowned at her. "About what ever it is that is making you so sad." He reached out to catch the tear rolling down her cheek.

Joey sniffled. "It's been a bad week," she lied, avoiding his eyes.

"Do you want to talk about what happened in Boston?" he asked gently.

Joey grimaced and shrugged one shoulder. "It was the right thing to do. They belong together."

"Maybe so, but that doesn't really help you, now, does it?"

She shrugged again. "I guess I just worry sometimes that I'm never going to find that."

"Oh, Jo, of course you will. Any guy -"

"I'm sorry, Joey, visiting hours are over. Your friend has to go." The nurses tone was friendly but firm.

Joey wanted to throw something at her, instead she nodded and looked at Pacey. "I guess they're throwing you out."

"Hey, I've been kicked out of better places than this," he joked, hoping to coax a smile out of her.

He succeeded, she grinned at him. "Knowing you as I do, I have no reason to doubt the veracity of that statement."

Pacey smiled at her. "I'm going to go get some sleep. You rest. We want you home tomorrow as promised."

"Night, Pacey." She snuggled down under the covers and closed her eyes.

Pacey watched her for a few seconds then left the room. He closed the door behind him and leaned against it, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

"How is she?" Dawson asked, disturbing his thoughts.

"Huh, oh yeah, she's fine. Nurse kicked me out. Visiting hours are over." Pacey rubbed his eyes tiredly.

"Why didn't you let us say good-night?" Dawson asked indignantly.

"I just said the nurse kicked me out, Dawson. Joey is exhausted and she needs her rest."

"Well if you hadn't taken up all the time left- "

Pacey's temper, already over extended by the stress of recent event finally snapped. "Joey asked to speak to me, Dawson, remember?" He could see Dawson was getting ready to lay it on him again so he help up his hand. "I really don't want to fight with you, D. We're both tired and bitchy. I just want to go home and go to sleep. Okay?"

Dawson nodded reluctantly, turned on his heal, and left. "Well I see he hasn't changed," Carson commented, coming to stand beside him.

"Huh?" Pacey said distractedly.

"Dawson, he hasn't changed since he was five years old. Still can't handle it when things don't go *exactly* the way he wants them."

Pacey nodded. "It's part of his charm," he said sarcastically.

"Is that what they're calling it now?" she laughed at his droll expression. Her own expression turned serious. Um, Pace"

"What is it?"

"I need a favour."

"Anything, you know that."

Carson took a deep breath. "I need for you to not tell Doug I'm in town."

"Car -"

"No, Pacey, please, I need you to promise."

"Fine, I won't tell him, but you know in this town he's going to find out. People around here have very long memories."

Carson smiled sadly. "I know. Just don't you be the one to tell him, okay."

Pacey nodded his agreement. "I promise. But, Car, I wish you'd tell me -"

"We've been through this, Pacey."

"I know, I know, but you've never told me why." He saw the stubborn look on her face. "Fine, I'll drop it, for now. But now that I have you here I'm not going to let you get away so easily. It's not like you can hang up on me or disconnect your computer."

"I know." She hugged him. "I really don't want to talk about it, okay? We both need to get some rest. Go home, Pacey." She stood up on tiptoe to press a kiss to his cheek. "Love you, Baby."

He kissed her back. "Love you too, Car."

"So, did you manage to get Pacey to keep quiet with Doug?" Bessie asked as she set a cup of tea in front of her cousin.

Carson nodded. "Yeah. He won't say anything."

Bessie sipped her tea. "Carson, we saw at least five people today who know who you are, do you really think he's not going to find out?"

Carson sighed. "Pacey said the same thing. I'm hoping I can get everything cleared up tomorrow and be gone before it becomes an issue."

"Don't you think that's a bit optimistic, I can't see you getting everything squared away that quickly. Besides, if Doug finds out Pacey knew you were in town and didn't tell him. . ." Bessie let the rest of the sentence trail off when she saw the horrified expression on Carson's face. "Carson, what is it?"

"I never - I didn't even think about that. I have to call Pacey."

"Carson, settle down. It'll be fine. No need to panic."

"I won't have Pacey get into it with his brother because of me. They have enough problems." She searched her bag for her phone.

"Pacey and Doug?" Bessie asked confused. "What problems are they having? I thought Joey said they were getting along pretty well since Pacey moved in with him. Actually acting like brothers."

Carson stopped short. "Pacey's living with Doug?"

Bessie nodded. "Yeah, that father of their's let Carrie and her brood move back in, which displaced Pacey. Can you believe them, the kids only sixteen and suddenly his parents house isn't big enough for him." She shook her head, disgusted. "They sent him to live with Doug, which Joey tells me has been working out great for both of them."

"But they always. . ."

"I know, Doug was always a rotten brother -" she winced. "Sorry, Carson."

Carson waved off the apology. "Don't be, Doug was a horrible brother, more worried about pleasing his father than taking care of Pacey. You're sure they're getting along okay?"

"Yeah, according to Joey anyway. She and Pacey have spent virtually every spare minute together the last few months so I guess she'd know. Seems Doug has finally realised what he was missing in his baby brother."

"All the more reason for Pacey to be honest with him about seeing me." She found her phone and dialled the familiar number. "PJ? Hi."

"Car, what's wrong? Is it Joey?" Pacey's voice held a touch of panic.

"Calm down. Joey's fine. Pacey, why didn't you tell me you were living with Doug?" she asked without preamble.

"Think about it Carson. Every time I so much as mention his name you change the subject, how was I supposed to tell you? Besides, I was afraid you'd stop calling me if I told exactly who's house you were calling."

"Baby, you know that's not true. I wouldn't leave you like that."

"I guess. I was just worried about making you uncomfortable."

"I understand. Listen, PJ, the reason I called, is about Doug."

"Yeah?"

"Bessie tells me things are pretty good between you guys since you moved in with him."

"As crazy as it may sound, Car, things are better hear than they ever were at home. Doug at least makes an effort to understand me. Which is more than my parents usually do."

"So you like living there?"

"Yeah, I almost dread Carrie going back to Gerry."

"I think you should tell him you saw me, Pacey."

"What?" he asked, shocked. "Not an hour ago you made me promise *not* to tell him."

"I know, but we both know some *well-meaning* citizen is going to tell either him or your parents that I'm back in town. I don't want him to think you kept it from him."

"Carson, don't worry about me and Doug."

"Can't help it, baby, it's what I do."

"Fine, I'll tell him, but you know he's going to want to see you?"

"I know. That's mine to deal with though. I just want to make sure I don't cause you any trouble." She heard hm sigh again and smiled. "I know, I know, you're a big boy, but humour me, please? Now go get some rest, I'll talk to you tomorrow."

Pacey chuckled. "Fine, good-night, Carson, love you."

"Love you too, baby." She hung up.

Bessie was staring at her when she hung up. "You've been in contact with Pacey all this time?" she asked, incredulously. "Are you crazy."

Carson shrugged. "I couldn't just walk out on him, Bessie, he needed me. Besides that, I knew Pacey would never betray my trust, he just doesn't have it in him to do that to me."

"So how is it you didn't know he was living with Doug?"

"We have had to be careful from the very beginning. We have exchanged e-mails all along, and when he wanted to talk he would schedule a time for me to call so his parents weren't around to ask questions. I just assumed they had changed their phone number or he had his own line." She smiled at Bessie rather self-consciously. "At first I felt pretty bad having him lie to his family, but then I realised that our contact was just as important to him as it was to me. He was the closest thing to a real family I had, Bess."

"Gee thanks," Bessie snorted.

Carson reached out and took her cousin's hand. "I'm sorry, Bessie, that didn't come out quite right. You had so much going on back then, with your mom and dad and all the flack you were taking for your relationship with Bodie. You, your mom and Joey were so good to me. Everything I could have wanted in a family, everything my own mother wasn't. But you guys didn't really need me, I was more just the charity case cousin "

"Carson! That's not true!" Bessie exclaimed indignantly. "We love you!"

"Oh, Bess, I know that." Carson reassured. "But, it was still hard for you. I know it bothered you to hear the things people said about me and my mom. Guilt by association and all that. It bothered everyone who had anything to do with me." She smiled sadly. "Except Pacey. He was just this sweet little boy who needed someone to tell him stories and listen to him talk about his day at school. To hug him when he cried, or to bandage his knees and kiss it better. All the things he couldn't get from that family of his,. He didn't care that my mother was the town tramp and that my father refused to acknowledge me, it didn't matter."

"He was only a child." Bessie reminded her gently. "He didn't know any different."

"I know that, Bessie. He was a child who needed a real *parent*, someone to love him and take care of him. And I needed someone to take care of who didn't care what my middle name was."

"The Witter's didn't care, Carson."

"I know. But they weren't exactly the Cleavers themselves. There were a lot of problems in that house."

"You still had us."

"I didn't want to burden you guys anymore than I already had."

"Carson we never- "

"Shh, Bessie, I know that. But as I said, you had so much going on at the time, your own problems to deal with, you didn't need me adding to them."

"So you turned to an eleven-year-old?"

Carson laughed. "No, Bessie. I didn't *turn* to an eleven-year-old. I left, remember. I just couldn't abandon that eleven-year-old. I was the one person in his life he had always known he could depend on. I couldn't just walk away. So I kept in contact."

Bessie nodded. "I guess I understand. I knew you were close to Pacey, close to all the kids. I guess I'm just a bit hurt that you seem to have had more contact with him than with me."

"I called, Bess."

"On birthdays and Christmas. How often did you talk to Pacey?"

Carson grimaced. "On the phone? Not that often. By e-mail? Almost daily." She grinned sheepishly.

Bessie shook her head. "I should have known, you always seemed to know what was going on in our lives. I assumed it was Aunt Isabelle, keeping you up to date."

Carson snorted her tea. "I haven't spoken to my mother since before I left town."

"Carson, she's your mother!"

"Bessie come on! When did she ever act like it? The Witter's practically raised me."

"But- "

"No, Bessie, she has no place in my life." Carson stated firmly, her tone brooking no argument.

"Fine. But what do you think she's going to do when she finds out why you're in town?"

Carson sighed. "I keep hoping she won't find out. That I'll be able to slip out of town without her knowing I was even here."

"That seems to be your solution to a lot of things, Carson."

"I know. And I know I may be setting myself up but I just can't deal with her right now."

"What about Doug?"

"What about him?" Carson's tone turned petulant.

"Don't look at me like that. You weren't the one he interrogated after you ran. Bodie and I had to deal with him and all his questions."

"You didn't know any more than he did."

Bessie laughed. "You really think he believed that we didn't know where you were? God, Carson, it was two years before I could see him without having to submit to his questions. Now we barely speak and I can't blame him, he doesn't believe I'm not protecting you and you broke his heart." Bessie defended her old friend.

"I'm so sorry, Bessie, I didn't mean for things to be difficult for you when I left." She hesitated. "I just need for you to understand that I thought I had no choice in the matter, that things had to be the way they were," she pleaded for understanding.

Bessie saw the fear and pain in her cousin's eyes and nodded her acceptance. "I won't say I understand, because I don't, but I will accept that you had your reasons."

Carson let out a relieved breath. "Thank you." She looked at her watch. "Oh, my god! How did it get to be so late?" She stood and began gathering her things.

Bessie also stood. "Where do you think you're going?"

"I have to get back to the hotel."

"You are *not* staying at a hotel," Bessie exclaimed loudly.

"Bessie, I have to go."

"Don't be ridiculous, why would you stay at hotel. You can stay here with us. We have plenty of room."

"I can't." Carson searched her purse for her keys.

"Carson, why not? We're family. Just call the hotel and cancel your reservation. They'll still charge you for tonight but -"

"Bessie, no. I have to go."

"Carson, stop. What the hell is going on. You got someone waiting back there for you?" Bessie saw her cousin's expression change. "That's it, isn't it? Why didn't you just say so? Why would I care if you brought your boyfriend with you? Big deal. He can stay here too."

Carson took a deep breath. "It's not my boyfriend, Bessie."

Bessie's eyes went wide with shock. "Oh? OH! You're, uh, you're girlfriend?" she asked tentatively.

Carson burst out laughing. "No, Bess, not my girlfriend." She looked at her cousin for a moment before she said, very softly, "My daughter."

                         ~*~

"Hey, Dougie, you awake?" Pacey knocked on his brother's bedroom door.

"Yeah, come in."

Pacey entered the room to find his brother working at his desk. Pacey sat on the edge of the bed and looked everywhere but at Doug.

"So, what's up, Pace?" Doug could see something was bothering his brother. "Who was on the phone? Joey's still okay isn't she?" Doug was one of the very few people privy to Pacey's feelings for Joey Potter.

"Uh, yeah, she's fine, I guess. Listen Doug, I, uh, I saw someone today."

"Who?" Doug was beginning to worry, it was obvious this person had rattled Pacey.

"Carson Potter."

Doug couldn't speak. He wasn't even sure he was breathing. This was the last thing he had expected to hear.

"Doug? Say something."

"Where did you see her?" Doug asked, his voice very soft.

"At the hospital. She was there with Bessie."

"Of course, of course. She was here for Joey," Doug said more to himself than to his brother.

Pacey shook his head. "No, she didn't even know about the accident until she got here."

"Then why- , I wonder if it has anything to do with Helen Walker?"

"Mrs. Walker? Why would it have anything to do with her. She died months ago."

"I know, but I've heard that her relatives have been having fits about the will being read. But that they haven't been able to find one of the beneficiaries so her lawyer has refused to read it as per Helen's wishes."

"You don't think -" Pacey stuttered. "Mrs. Walker? Leave Carson something in her will? Why?"

Doug shrugged. "She always liked Carson. Maybe this is her way of making up for what her husband did." He cleared his throat. "How's she look?"

"Great, as always. Older of course, but not much."

"Did she seem. . . Okay?"

"I guess. She seemed a bit uncomfortable about being here, but I guess that's to be expected." Pacey stopped and fidgeted with his shirt tail for a moment. "Doug, there's something you should know."

"Pacey, if she's married I'd really rather not hear it."

"No! No that's not it. It's something I've kept from you. It never really bothered me till recently, after I moved in here. I guess I thought that by then it was too late to tell you. I didn't want you to kick me out."

"Pacey, don't be ridiculous, I wouldn't kick you out. What is it?"

"I've kept in contact with Carson since she left." Pacey whispered, sneaking a look at Doug.

Doug smiled. "I know."

"I never meant to - you know?"

Doug chuckled softly at his brother's shocked expression. "If you were really trying to keep it a secret, Pace, you were awfully sloppy."

"How, I, uh, How?" Pacey stuttered helplessly.

"Your computer."

Pacey shrugged.

"You left it on a couple of times when you rushed out to where ever it is you rush out to."

"So?"

"You left your e-mail program up. I couldn't help but see you received mail from [email protected]. I laughed the first time I saw it. She always detested that nickname."

"Why didn't you say anything?" Pacey asked carefully.

"Pacey, I know you and Carson were always close. Your relationship was always very important to her, and I know she meant the world to you. I was afraid that if she know I knew about it she would stop writing to you. I didn't want that for you. She was there for you when the rest of us weren't." He shrugged and went to the window. "It wasn't your fault she and I couldn't make it work."

Pacey didn't know what to say. "I--" Pacey got up and went to stand beside his brother. "Thank you."

Doug turned to his brother. "Pacey, tell Joey how you feel. It's important. Don't waste time. You never know how much you have."

Pacey nodded and smiled weakly. "I'll think about it." He turned to leave. Doug?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks again. For all of it."

"Goodnight, Pacey."

"Night, Doug."

Joey couldn't remember ever feeling as lost as she did right then. Every time she closed her eyes she saw another *memory* of her time with Pacey aboard True Love, or of their struggle to be together before Dawson and the others found out. She felt a sharp tightening in her chest every time she relived Dawson's reaction to what he saw as her perfidy. She wanted to believe that the dream was an exaggeration, that the real Dawson would only want her happiness and would support her in finding it, but she was having a difficult time selling herself on the idea.

She had told Bessie about the dream, asking her what she thought it meant. Bessie's answer had been typically ambiguous, and not a whole lot of help. Telling Joey that she was sure she could figure out for herself what the dream meant hadn't been the answer the younger woman had been looking for.

How was she supposed to figure out how to deal with the fact that she could still taste his lips on hers. Feel the steel of his body and the silk of his skin when he made love to her. Hear him whisper, "I love you" as they lay together in the early morning. Feel the ocean breeze in her hair as he spun fantastic and ridiculous stories about sea monsters to help alleviate the monotony of long days at sea. Not realising that the time spent in his arms was barrier enough against boredom. How did she deal with the fact that she now knew she was in love with Pacey Witter and had not a single clue as to how he felt about her.

"Ahhh!" Joey through the small stuffed bear she had been squeezing against the far wall.

"Well, tell me what he did to piss you off so I know what to avoid," Pacey cracked, poking his head around the door.

Joey blushed furiously. Just the sight of him brought back more than a few rather tantalizing memories.

"You okay, Jo?" Pacey asked concerned as he approached the bed. "You look a little flushed." He reached out for her forehead and Joey pulled away as though burned. He let his hand drop, hurt clouding his eyes.

"I'm fine," Joey sputtered trying to regain her control along with her dignity. "It's just a bit warm in here."

Pacey took in the goose bumps raised on her arms and nodded indulgently,. "Oh-kay. . . So, Jo, other than being overheated -" He stopped, seeing the panicked look on her face. "Joey? What the hell's with you? You look like you're going to pass out. Should I get a doctor?" He reached for her again and this time she let him touch her flaming face, his gentle touch cool against her burning skin.

"I'm fine, Pacey," she whispered. "Just a little tired."

Pacey nodded and absently brushed her hair back from her face, he had seen her inability to make eye contact. "Jo?"

"Hmm?" She responded languidly, enjoying his touch and the beautiful memories it evoked.

"Did I do something to upset you?" Pacey asked, feeling more than a little confused. He'd never seen her like this.

Joey snapped back to reality. "What? No, of course not. Why do you ask?" She moved slightly breaking their contact.

"I'm not sure. Maybe because you have yet to make eye contact with me today."

She looked up into his eyes. "Don't be ridiculous, Pacey. Of course I have," she said just a bit too defensively.

Pacey watched as her gaze skittered away again. "Joey, if I did something, tell me. I need to know."

Joey gave a short laugh. "Why so you can *apologise*?" she snorted.

Pacey looked offended. "Why, is it so far beyond the realm of belief that I would apologise if I hurt or upset you?" he asked, hurt by her inference.

Joey realised she had actually wounded him this time. She grabbed his hand, ignoring the tingling sensation that ran up her arm. "You don't have to apologise, when you haven't done anything wrong." She squeezed his hand and was gratified to feel him squeeze back.

"So, we're okay?"

Joey nodded anxiously, needing him to drop the subject of her odd behaviour before she threw herself into his arms and begged him to kiss her silly. "So, you never did tell me, what exactly happened." She changed the subject rather abruptly.

Pacey hesitated a moment not quite sure what to make of her rather erratic behaviour and decided to chalk it up to the head injury. "We were almost home. Just at the entering Capeside sign?" She nodded. "You were telling me what a complete imbecile college boy was." She smiled at him gratefully. "Suddenly there was someone else in our lane, I didn't have time to do anything but swerve. He caught the front of the truck."

"How did I hurt my head?"

Pacey shivered remembering waking up in the truck and receiving no answer when he called her name. "You hit your head on the side window." He grinned evilly at her to cover the agony this memory conjured up. "Shattered the glass."

Joey swatted him gently. "What happened to the other driver?"

"Doug was more than happy to arrest him on several charges, including, but not exclusive to, driving under the influence. In fact he was still adding to the list when I spoke to him last."

"Good. I hope they throw away the key."

"Me too, Jo. Me too." Once again Pacey felt the chills he'd experienced while waiting for help to arrive. He hadn't been able to get to her, had no idea what was wrong. Every time he closed his eyes he could see her pale, lifeless face, covered in blood. Pacey shivered again.

Joey, seeing he was in distress reacted instinctively. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close. Pacey's response was immediate. He clung to her for dear life. She could feel him shudder and felt the wetness of tears on her neck. She rubbed his back with one hand stroking his hair gently with the other. Soon she felt him gain control and loosened her grip. She pulled back so she could see his eyes. "You okay?"

Pacey nodded feeling somewhat embarrassed. He hadn't meant to fall apart, but when he felt her arms go around him. . . "I'll be okay. I guess I just haven't dealt with it as well as I thought."

Joey smiled tenderly. "Have you talked to anyone?"

Pacey shook his head. "No, I answered all of Doug's questions but he's the arresting officer so I can't really talk to him. And Dawson, well I'm pretty sure he blames me for what happened." He shrugged helplessly.

Joey's temper flared, aided by the *memory* of Dawson's selfish ultimatum. "Dawson likes to have someone to blame for everything, keeps his world tidier."

Pacey was a bit taken aback by this attack on their friend. "Jo, are you and Dawson having problems?"

Joey swallowed a snippy remark. "No, it's just the truth. He can't deal with the fact that sometimes things happen that are completely beyond our control and that it isn't always somebody's fault."

Pacey nodded thoughtfully.

"You should talk to Carson," Joey said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"About the accident."

"Oh, yeah. I guess I could," Pacey hedged.

"No, you obviously need to talk to some one. And its just as obvious you can't talk to me without getting an attack of the guilts. So talk to her. She'll listen, she always has."

Pacey nodded. "So when do we bust you out of this place?"

"Hopefully, after lunch. If I'm still feeling all right the doctor said I can go. As long as I take it easy for the next few days I should be okay."

"So you gonna need someone to entertain you while you convalesce?"

Joey hesitated. She was never sure whether he was actually flirting with *her* or just being Pacey. She smiled uncertainly. "Do I dare ask what you would consider appropriate entertainment for a shut-in?"

"Weeeelllll." Pacey waggled his eyebrows. "I can think of one or two things we could get up to while you're bed bound."

"Pacey!" She swatted him again, less gently this time.

"Wha-at?" he protested innocently. "I was talking about bringing over a few video games and movies."

"Of course you were." Joey rolled her eyes. She couldn't help but smile. Pacey had that affect on her. He somehow managed to take a rotten mood and make it disappear with his own brand of sweet silliness. Suddenly she had a flash of him standing on the deck of True Love, dramatically spouting truly horrid poetry while she convulsed with laughter.

"Jo?"

"Hmm? What?" She returned to reality to meet Pacey's concerned blue eyes.

"Where'd you go?"

She smiled softly at him. "Somewhere wonderful."

"Did you have a nice trip?" he teased.

"The best." She blinked sleepily at him.

He watched her relax her eyes getting heavy. "I should let you rest. If you're going to be home this afternoon you'll need it."

Joey looked at the clock on the wall, 7:45. "How'd you get in here so early anyway?"

Pacey grinned cockily. "Charm. Pure, unadulterated charm."

"That and twenty bucks will get you anything you want." Joey smirked at his wounded expression.

"Hey, I'll have you know it cost me not one dime to get past the lovely lady in white." In reality the nurse had felt sorry for him. He had presented such a woebegone countenance and told her such an adorable sob story she had let him in long before visiting hours started.

"Uh huh," Joey nodded doubtfully. Then she asked quizzically. "So why are you here?"

Pacey was a bit taken aback. "Do you want me to go?"

"NO! I mean no, that's not it." Joey reassured. "It's just very early and I was curious. Was there something in particular you wanted to talk about?"

Pacey shook his head. "Not really. I just wanted to make sure you were doing okay before I went to school, that you didn't need anything."

Joey smiled graciously. "Thanks, Pace. I appreciate it."

Pacey shrugged. "Well somebody has to look out for you. It's pretty obvious you can't do it so. . ." He teased moving off the bed and out of her reach.

"Don't you have a class to get to?"

Pacey chuckled. "Yeah as a matter of fact I do." He headed for the door then stopped. "I'll drop by after school, bring your work to you."

"Thanks, Pacey." She smiled.

"You're welcome, Jo." He watched her snuggle back down under the covers and left the room.

                         ~*~

It was a perfect summer's evening. The dying sun cast its warming rays over the small deck, a cool ocean breeze ruffled their hair as the sat cuddled together to watch yet another spectacular sunset. Joey felt Pacey sigh as the sun dipped beneath the horizon and the sky burst into flame. "That was the best one yet," she whispered.

"Mhmm," was his only reply.

"How is it that each sunset we see gets progressively more beautiful?" she asked softly as she snuggled deeper into his arms.

"I'm not sure," he said, his voice husky. "But it only seems fitting since each day with you is progressively more wonderful."

Joey turned in his arms to face him. Everyday, it seemed he said or did something that made her fall deeper in love with him. Now, here, like this, in the dying light, all she could think of was how lucky she was to have found him. "I love you," she whispered before raising up to capture his lips in the sweetest of kisses.

"Hmm, I love you too." he whispered back before deepening the kiss. She could feel the now familiar tingling sensation in her belly as his tongue gently tangled with hers. The tingling intensified, radiating outward as his mouth left hers and blazed a trail down her chin and neck to the tender skin at the base of her throat. His hands had found their way under the soft fabric of her t-shirt to explore her silky skin. "Let's go below," he murmured huskily.

She stood on shaky legs and offered him a hand up. He stood and pulled her close. His lips lowered to hers once again -

"Joey?"

Joey was abruptly awake. "What?" She looked around the room, trying to get her bearings, the dream trying to invade reality. "Dawson?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I thought you'd be up by now." He came further into the room.

"It's okay." She glanced at the clock. "They should be serving lunch soon. What are you doing here, Dawson?" she asked, resenting his intrusion into the beautiful dreamworld.

Dawson looked hurt. "I just wanted to stop by and see if you were okay." He looked sulky for a moment. "I stopped in before school but the nurse wouldn't let me in. Said your *boyfriend* was already here with you. Is there something you wanted to tell me, Jo?" he asked petulantly.

Joey laughed. So *that's* how he'd gotten by the nurses. She shook her head. "Pacey."

"WHAT?!"

She waved Dawson off. "He came to see me this morning. He must have told the nurses that he was my boyfriend in order to be allowed in here." She grinned at his audacity.

"Well, he should be more circumspect. This *is* a small town."

"What?" Joey asked, not following his logic.

"Well, what if what he said this morning got around? You of all people know how quickly rumours can spread, Joey."

Joey just stared at him. "And why would it be such a terrible thing if people thought Pacey was my boyfriend?" she demanded.

Dawson, not wanting to anger her further, back-peddled quickly. "Nothing, nothing. There's nothing wrong with Pacey. It's just not true. So, I would think nipping it in the bud would be the prudent thing to do."

"Uh huh." was Joey's dismissive answer. She contemplated her blanket for a moment before saying, "Speaking of that."

Dawson was lost. "Of what?"

"Me and boyfriends."

"Yeah?" Dawson said tentatively.

"I've been meaning to ask you something. And since we've managed to somewhat regain our former friendship, I guess now is as good a time as any."

"And what was that."

Joey took a deep breath. "How would you feel if I told you I was falling in love?"

"Are you?" he asked fearfully.

"Strictly hypothetical. What would you do if I found someone else?"

Dawson shrugged. "If he really made you happy then I'd be happy for you," he stated without conviction. "But you haven't found anyone, have you? I thought this AJ guy was nothing serious. You said he was more like a friend, didn't you?"

"AJ is over."

"Really? Do you mind if I ask why?"

"There was someone else. I was in the way."

"I'm sorry, Jo." Dawson said honestly. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really. I'm happy for him, for both of them." She smiled ruefully. "It just would have been nice if I hadn't been the one to point out to them how they feel about one another."

Dawson winced sympathetically. "Ouch."

"Yeah. So you're saying that if I find someone, someone who can make me happy, someone to love, who loves me back, you'll be happy for me, support me?"

Dawson cleared his throat, not altogether comfortable with this conversation, but knowing what he had to say. "Of course. If he made you happy, of course I'd be supportive."

"No matter who it is, as long as I'm happy?"

"Did you have someone in particular in mind?" he asked suspiciously.

Joey shook her head furiously. "No, no. No one. Just looking ahead that's all." She smiled brightly. "I mean, it stands to reason that we're going to find other people, right? I know I'd be thrilled if you found someone to make you happy," she babbled. "I'm just happy we've managed to return our relationship to a place where we can discuss this type of thing."

Dawson nodded dubiously. "Me too."

"Excuse me. Hi, Joey." The doctor entered the room holding a chart.

"Hi, Dr. Martin." Joey said, relieved by the intrusion.

Dawson stood. "Well, I should be getting back to school." He smiled at Joey and bent to kiss her cheek. "I'll stop by the house on my way home, okay? Bring you your homework?"

Joey shook her head. "Don't worry about it, Pacey's getting it for me."

"Oh. Well I guess I'll just stop by to say hi then."

She nodded and smiled. "Sounds good. Bye, Dawson."

He waved and left the room pulling the door closed behind him. "That was weird," he said to the potted fern just outside her room. Joey just wasn't acting herself. All those questions about her falling in love with someone else. Dawson shook his head, trying to drive away the unpleasant thought of Joey loving someone other than him. Why now? Why, when she had dumped AJ was she suddenly talking about falling in love. It just didn't make sense. Pacey! He could talk to Pacey. He and Joey had been spending an awful lot of time together recently. If anyone would know what was going on in that confusing head of hers it would be Pacey. Dawson smiled to himself, happy to have a plan of action and headed back to school.

Joey had to smile at the banner hanging above the door of the Bed and Breakfast. WELCOME HOME JOEY, GET WELL SOON! This had to be Dawson's work. And sure enough, there he was, standing on the porch grinning at her. She shook her head at him. "You do realise, Dawson, that I have only been gone five days?" she cracked as Pacey helped her up the stairs.

Dawson shrugged good-naturedly. "I know. I just wanted to make sure you know how happy I am that you're going to be okay."

She stopped beside him and took his hand. "Thank you."

His smile brightened. "You're welcome." He finally realised who was with her. "Hey, I thought you said Bodie was picking you up from the hospital?" he said, a slight edge to his voice, as he followed them into the house.

Joey shrugged. "He was going to. Then Pacey said he wanted to. So, here we are." She smiled at the taller boy. "Though I *was* a bit surprised my sister let me get into a car with him again," she teased.

"Yeah? Well, I have two words for you, Potter: You and walking."

Joey showed him her ha-ha face as Bessie came into the room holding Alexander "I'd start apologising now, Joey," she said handing the baby to Pacey and hugged her sister. "It's so good to have you home."

Joey returned the embrace, knowing how worried Bessie had been. "Well, I'm going to be fine. You heard the doctor. As long as you all wait on me hand and foot for the next little while I should be able to make a complete recovery," she said imperiously.

Everyone laughed. "Well, Your Majesty, may I start by assisting you to your boudoir?" Pacey bowed before her and extended his hand.

Joey placed her hand in his with a curtsy. "You may." They were both giggling by the time they reached the stairs.

Bessie shook her head, smiling at their nonsense. "I swear, that boy. . . I've never heard her laugh as much as she has since they've been spending time together."

Dawson arched an eyebrow at her. "Pacey? Please, he's more likely to make her homicidal than happy."

"You really haven't been around much, have you, Dawson? Pacey has brought his own special brand of sunshine and silliness to us this year. I don't know what she would have done without him." Bessie smiled at the boy who had been a part of her sister's life for as long as she could remember. "He's really come through for her when she's needed him, for both of us."

Dawson said nothing. He just smiled weakly. He *had* noticed how different Joey and Pacey's relationship was. How close they seemed. How readily she leaned on Pacey. How easy it was for her to let Pacey help her. Had she *ever* been that way with him? Dawson didn't think so. In fact she had always been very hesitant to lean on him or to ask for his help. Why? What made things so different with Pacey? He reminded himself to take Pacey aside later and ask him about Joey's earlier comments about falling in love.

Dawson's musings were interrupted by the arrival of Carson Potter. She was struggling to get through the front door, carrying two suitcases and a sleeping little girl. "Carson, here let me get that." He hurried forward to take the suitcases from her.

Carson heaved a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Dawson." She adjusted the sleeping child. "She takes forever to fall asleep in her bed but the *minute* I get her in the car. . ." She stroked the dark curls back from the sweet face. "Is Bessie around?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec. I'll get her." Dawson headed to the back of the house.

"Hey, Bess? You got any apple juice? Her highness is having a cra -" Pacey reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped in his tracks. "Carson?"

Carson froze. She couldn't move. This couldn't be happening. "Pacey," she said weakly. "What are you doing here?"

"I brought Joey home from the hospital. I was just tucking her in." He moved closer to her. "Car, who's this?" he asked indicating the sleeping child.

Before Carson could answer, the girl began to stir. "Mommy?" she murmured sleepily. She lifted her head from her mother's shoulder and turned to regard Pacey.

Pacey found himself looking into very familiar blue eyes. The same eyes he saw in the mirror each day. The same eyes he saw whenever he looked at his brother. "Carson?"

Carson winced at his icy tone. She had never heard Pacey speak to her that way. She took a deep breath. "Pacey, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Sarah. Sarah, honey, this is your Uncle Pacey."

Sarah peeked at him through her lashes. "Hi."

Pacey smiled at her. "Hello, Sarah. I am very happy to meet you." He couldn't stop staring at her. She was the very image of Doug at that age. "Carson?" He tried again.

Carson held up her hand. "Can we not do this right now Pacey?" she pleaded, casting a significant look at Sarah.

Pacey nodded. "We *will* talk later though." He didn't want to upset the little girl any more than her mother did. But god. . . Doug was going to have a heart attack. Shit! Carson couldn't expect him to keep this from his brother could she? That wasn't fair. Not to him, not to Doug, but especially not to Sarah. She deserved to know her father.

Carson breathed a sigh of relief for the reprieve, however temporary. She was not looking forward to explaining to Pacey why she had kept Sarah a secret from her father.

"Oh good, you're here." Bessie came bustling into the room followed closely by Dawson. "And this little angel must be Sarah. Hi, sweetie. How are you?" Sarah smiled at Bessie and Bessie gasped. "My god, Carson. She looks exactly like -" she censored herself, remembering who was in the room. Bessie could feel the tension radiating off both Pacey and Carson. She knew they needed some privacy. She reached for Sarah. "Do you want to come with me Sarah? Come see my little boy?" Sarah nodded and took Bessie's hand "He's your cousin. He's pretty little yet but he has some nice toys he'll share with you. Would you like that?" She kept up the chatter as she started from the room. On her way by she grabbed Dawson. "C'mon, Dawson. You come play too."

Dawson shot Bessie a look that clearly said he thought she was nuts. He opened his mouth to tell her so when the look she shot back stopped the words in his throat. Better to do what she said. They left the room.

Pacey was doing laps of the living room, his hands fisted at his sides. Carson could see he was working very hard at getting his temper under control so she let him be. Better he have it together before they had what was bound to be a very unpleasant conversation. He paced for a few more minutes then finally took a deep breath and sat on the couch. "You want to tell me why you left?"

Carson was a bit taken aback by the question. It wasn't the one she had been expecting. "I - I, um," she stuttered.

"I'm assuming you knew you were pregnant when you left. I just wanted to know why. I always thought you and Doug fought. He was a jerk and you left him. It's not quite that simple, is it?"

Carson shook her head. "No, Pacey, it's not." She squeezed her eyes tightly shut before opening them to look directly into his. This was the hardest part. "PJ, I want you to promise me you won't feel bad. It's very important to me that you know that this was in no way your fault. Okay?"

Pacey nodded, hesitantly. "Oh-kay."

Carson drew a deep breath trying to bolster her courage. "The day I found out I was pregnant, I went to your parents place. We were supposed to be having a family barbeque. I was terrified. I had no idea how Doug was going to react. We'd talked about kids but they were meant to be way in the future, *after* we were married. But I knew he loved me so I thought he would be happy about the baby."

"Doug knew?" Pacey asked, shocked.

Carson shook her head. "No, I never told him."

"I don't get it. Why not?"

"When I got there, your dad had been drinking. He was on your case. I can't even remember what about. But it was typical and I hated it."

Pacey smiled at her. Also remembering. Remembering how, when it got to be too much at home he could run to her and always know that someone loved him, that someone thought he was a great kid.

Carson continued. "It got pretty bad. I had never been so close to interfering when he finally stopped and told you to get lost. I followed you into the house figuring you were going to need a good shoulder when I heard you talking to Doug. At first I thought, or hoped, that he was comforting you after your fight with your dad." Pacey rolled his eyes at the absurdity of that statement. Carson shrugged. "Then I realised you two were fighting too. He was yelling at you about disappointing your dad. How every time he turned around you had done something else to prove to your father how worthless you were. How hard you made it for the others, trying to overcome your father's immense disappointment in you." Her voice cracked and she stopped to gather herself. "He went on and on. Telling a child he was worthless. And you were a child. Just eleven-years-old." She stopped again, unable to continue.

Pacey knew. He knew why she had never told Doug about the baby, why she had felt the need to leave town. Taking her child away from its father. "You were afraid that if he'd treat one child like that, he'd treat your child that way too." It wasn't a question.

Carson nodded, tears streaming down her face.. "All I could see was me, a few years down the road, trying to explain to our baby why his daddy didn't like him." She sobbed.

Pacey came to sit beside her. He remembered having that same conversation with her when he was nine. "No, Car. It would never have happened." He put his arm around her. "Do you remember what he was like with the girls? He adored them, doted on them. God, Gretchen thought the sun rose and set on her big brother."

"I know that, Pacey. But -"

Pacey shook his head. "You have to realise, Car, that my dad was hard on Doug. It looked different because Doug and I reacted differently to it. I rebelled, rejected his idea of what and who I should be. Doug worked his *ass* off trying to be everything my father expected him to be. Terrified at every turn he was going to disappoint the old man and have to hear what a failure he was."

Carson shook her head vigorously. "That's no excuse for -"

"I agree. There is no excuse for child abuse, and I don't kid myself that it was anything else. But for Doug it was all about fear. And I think maybe a bit of jealousy that I'd stand up to the bastard."

"He should have taken you out of there. He was an adult and your big brother. He should have helped you," Carson argued.

"Maybe you're right. Maybe he should have. But I still think he was doing the best he could to survive being John Witter's golden son." He gently turned her to face him. "And, Car, he's making up for it now. He's being a big brother to me for the first time in our lives. I have finally gotten to know my brother and I truly believe he'd be a good father." He smiled softly at her. "He deserves a chance to prove you wrong. And Sarah deserves to know her daddy."

Carson broke down completely, sobbing in Pacey's arms. "I was so afraid."

"I know, I know." Pacey was stroking her hair and making soothing noises when a movement by the stairs caught his eye. "Jo?"

Joey stepped forward. Her eyes filled with tears. "I'm sorry, I didn't man to eavesdrop. You were gone o long I just wondered. . ."

Carson lifted her head from Pacey's shoulder. "It's okay, Joey," she reassured her cousin. "You're family." She straightened completely, gathering herself. "I should go check on Sarah. Make sure she has locked Bessie in a closet or something." She grinned half-heartedly and hurried from the room.

Pacey turned to Joey. "How much of that did you hear?"

Joey came to sit next to him. "Quite a bit. Do you think she'll tell him?"

Pacey shrugged. "I don't know. I hope so. I really don't want to keep this from him. He should know he has a daughter."

Joey took his hand. "Are you okay?"

"Me? Why wouldn't I be?"

"Pacey, I know how hard it is for you to deal with your relationship with your father. Hearing all that can't have been easy."

"My dad and I are working on it. Things are better, you know that. I just hate reliving the past. It's over and done with. It's time to move on."

Joey nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly. "I think so too. No sense living in the past when the future has so much more to offer."

Their eyes locked and held for the longest time. Each lost in thought. Joey *remembering* a romantic adventure at sea. Pacey praying for just one chance. Finally Pacey broke the silence. "And people say you're dumb." He smirked, trying to hide his discomfort. He ducked to avoid the cushion she tossed at him. "Hey! What are you doing down her anyway? You're supposed to stay in bed, young lady."

"Seems to me a girl could perish of thirst with the untrustworthy help we've got around here," she said dramatically.

Pacey grinned. "One apple juice, coming up. But only if you get back to bed."

Joey stood too quickly, swaying on her feet. "Whoa."

Pacey caught her in his arms. "Steady there. You okay?" he asked, worried.

Joey nodded, smiling weakly. "I'm fine. I just stood too fast." She made no move to leave his arms. How was it possible for this to feel so right, so familiar. Pacey rarely touched her, let alone held her. Flashes from her dream once again invaded her reality. Pictures of nights spent in these arms, of waking in them each morning. She sighed and relaxed into his embrace.

Pacey was reluctant to breathe, let alone move. He was holding Joey Potter. She was in his arms and making no effort whatsoever to leave. He felt her sigh and relax, tightening her hold on him. He was certain he was tasting a piece of heaven.

Their moment was broken when Dawson came into the room. "Hey, Pacey, Carson said you -" He stopped abruptly when he saw his friends. "I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" he asked, he tone ice cold.

Joey moved reluctantly from Pacey's arms. "No, of course not. I just felt a bit dizzy, that's all. I think I need to lie down."

Pacey swallowed the lump in his throat. "C'mon, let's get you back to bed." He took her arm and they went upstairs.

Dawson stayed below, staring at the spot where they had stood. It hadn't looked like he was helping her, it had looked like they were holding each other. And Joey hadn't looked like she planned on leaving anytime soon. Dawson felt something tighten in his chest. They couldn't. They wouldn't. Pacey was his best friend, he knows how he feels about Joey. As for Joey. . . Dawson thought about it for a moment then laughed to himself. It was preposterous. Joey would never fall for someone like Pacey. It didn't really even bear consideration. Obviously she was feeling worse than he had thought if she was willing to let Pacey hold her like that. Dawson smiled, there was nothing to worry about.

Carson swallowed a painful lump in her throat. Her heart was beating so fast it hurt. She was standing in the hallway, staring at Doug Witter's apartment door. "Well, kiddo, it's now or never," she said to herself as she rang the bell.

She had thought she was ready for this. Had been up all night preparing herself. But here, now, seeing him again for the first time in almost six years, she wasn't anywhere near ready for what she was feeling. "Hello, Doug." She couldn't breathe.

"Carson." Doug's expression was stone cold.

"I - um, can I. . ." She waved toward the apartment. She couldn't ever remember being this nervous.

Doug just looked at her for a moment then stepped away from the door. "Yeah. Come on in."

"Thank you." She looked around the apartment. "I like what you've done. Very comfortable."

"Yeah, thanks." Doug followed her around the room with his eyes. "What do you want, Carse?"

Carson was shocked at his icy tone. She hadn't expected a warm reception but this was worse than she had imagined. She opened her mouth to speak and found herself wordless. How could she even begin to explain why she had done the things she had? She picked a picture up off the mantle, smiling at the three people laughing helplessly in the water. Doug had his nine year-old brother up on his shoulders and Pacey was shooting Carson with a water pistol. "I remember when John took this. That was a great day. For once everyone had a good time together. You and Pacey actually acted like brothers that day."

"Why are you here, Carson?" Doug repeated, taking the picture from her and setting it back on the mantle.

"Pacey tells me you guys are getting along pretty well now. Have been since he moved in here," she once again evaded his question.

Doug sighed and scrubbed his face with his hand. "Fine, you want to talk about Pacey. Yes things have been going well. He's a good kid."

"I've said that all along," Carson said with a knowing smile.

"Yes, you did. Listen, Carson, I'm sure you didn't come here to talk about my little brother. You probably know more about him than I do. So why don't you just tell me what you want and then get out."

Carson could feel her throat tighten. "Doug," she started. "I, um, dammit this is hard. I need for you to know why I left."

"Carson. . ." Doug began.

"No! Please, Doug, I need to tell you. It's very important." She cleared her throat and fought the sting behind her eyes. "I can only hope you can try to understand why I did what I thought was best for everyone at the time."

Doug snorted. "Please tell me how disappearing from my life was the best thing for me, Carson! One day we were talking about marriage, the next you'd just vanished into thin air!" he yelled.

Carson could feel the pressure increasing behind her eyes. She had to do this. One more deep breath. "I know the way I took off hurt you. I am so very sorry for that. But I truly thought I was doing the right thing." She turned to look out the window so she didn't have to see him as she spoke. "The day I left we were supposed to meet at your parents place. When I got there things were pretty much following the norm. Your dad was torturing Pacey and your mother was pretending not to see it. When your dad was through with him, you started. It was too much for me. I could no longer stand by and quietly watch what amounted to child abuse."

"Now wait a minute -"

Carson whirled back around. "No! No, Doug. What you and your father did to that boy was horrible. You may never have laid a hand on him but John did. And the verbal bashing you did left its fair share of scars. So don't try to tell me it wasn't abuse!"

Doug hung his head. "I know. And I hope one day Pacey will be able to forgive me for the things that happened in that house."

"He already has, Doug. He already has. Which is just one more thing that proves to me how amazing he truly is and how lucky you are to have him."

Doug nodded, his smile sad. "So that's why you left? You couldn't bear to see us hurt Pacey any more?" The idea wasn't completely out of line but it didn't really wash.

"In a way, but not really." She sat down and indicated he should do the same. "I had always hated what you did. You knew that. You even tried at times to be nicer to Pacey for me. But, Doug, that day was different." She picked up one of the many cushions decorating the couch.

"I'm not sure what you're saying."

"When I came to the house that day I was already in a pretty fragile mood. I guess terrified is a better word."

"Why? What happened?" Doug asked, the worry evident in his voice. "Did you have a run in with Walker or something?"

Carson visibly twitched at the mention of her father. "No. No, this one was all about us." She bit her lip and plucked at the cushion. "I'd just found out I was pregnant."

"You -" Doug choked on the words. She couldn't have been. She wouldn't do that to him.

"I'm sorry, Doug. And I won't blame you if you hate me forever. But you have to remember what it was like then. I was treated like crap in this town because of my mother. I knew how painful it was for a child to hear they were worth less than nothing. I knew what it was like to be a child people didn't want around. When I heard you saying those same things to Pacey, I just broke. I knew I couldn't let my child be raised in that same atmosphere."

"You were afraid I would treat our child the way I treated Pacey." It wasn't a question.

"I know it may not seem fair, Doug, but -"

"No, I think it's more than fair." Doug got up and began to pace. "The worst part is it's my own damn fault. I knew what I was doing was wrong but I was more afraid of my father than I was protective of Pacey. Why would you want me to raise your child?"

"Doug, I -"

"Did you keep the baby?" he asked suddenly stopping his pacing to face her.

"Yes, I did. Her name is Sarah and she just turned five."

Doug smiled. "After my grandmother."

"She was a special lady."

"Would I be out of line asking why you're here now? Why you thought I deserved to know this?"

"Your brother."

"Pacey? Why, what did he do?"

"He told me how hard you've been working at mending your relationship with him. How you now stick up for him to your father. And he reminded me of a few things."

Doug raised and inquiring eyebrow.

"He reminded me how close you always were to the girls. That your sisters adored you. That your father was as hard or harder on you than he was on Pacey. That most of your actions came not from any hatred for you brother but fear of your father. He also said he didn't think that fear existed anymore. He seems pretty sure you'd be a good father."

Doug's eyes filled. "Well, remind me to thank him." He cleared his throat. "Carson?"

"Yes?"

"Am I going to get to meet Sarah?" he asked, the hope unmistakable in his voice.

"Yes, but," she looked up at Doug, her eyes serious, "if I *ever* see even an inkling of the treatment you subjected Pacey to, I will take Sarah and run. You'll never see her again." She waited for him to nod his agreement then she went to the window and waved to the car parked on the street.

Just seconds later Pacey entered the apartment carrying his sleepy niece. "She's getting a bit cranky," he said, smiling as he handed the child to her mother. "She was trying to go to sleep."

"It's a car thing," Carson said, smoothing the dark hair back from her daughter's face. "Sarah bear, there's someone here who wants to say hi. Is that okay?"

Sarah nodded her head against her mother's shoulder.

"Sarah, do you remember what I told you about your daddy?"

"He loves me lots," Sarah mumbled sleepily.

"That's right. He does." She smiled at Doug. "Honey bear, he's here to see you."

"Daddy?" Sarah lifted her head and looked shyly at Doug. "Daddy?"

"Hi, Sarah."

She once again hid her head in her mother's shoulder. "She's just playing shy." Carson reassured Doug. "Sarah, do you want to go see Daddy?"

Sarah nodded her head. "'Kay."

Doug lifted her into his arms and she snuggled in close laying her head on his shoulder, her trust in him complete. He felt the tears come. This was his child. This precious warm body was the end result of his love for Carson. He held Sarah tight and looked over her head at her mother and mouthed,'Thank you'.

                         ~*~

"So Carson's still there?" Joey asked around a mouthful of Chunky Monkey.

Pacey nodded. "Yeah. They put Sarah down for a nap and were having a very overdue talk when I left." He dipped his spoon into the ice cream carton. "I can't believe Doug's a father."

Joey laughed. "I know. I had the same feeling when Bessie had Alexander. I mean, she's my big sister. How can she be someone's mom?"

"When Carrie had her kids it wasn't weird but then she'd been gone for a while so it was different." He smiled. "You should have seen him with Sarah, Jo. The look on his face. . ."

"Love at first sight huh?"

"Yeah, head over heels," he chuckled. "She's gonna have him so wrapped."

Joe watched his face as he thought about his brother's new family. "So you think he's gonna be a good father?"

"Yeah. As long as he remembers to do everything exactly the opposite of the way our father did it." He played absently with the blanket covering her legs. "Jo, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course."

"Do you think that I can be a good father?" he asked, unable to meet her eyes.

Joey was startled by the question. He never did make things easy did he? She weighed her words carefully before answering, refusing to sugar coat anything for him, knowing he wanted her honesty. "Pacey," she began, "you hear all the time about people who were abused becoming abusers themselves. How the cycle repeats itself. But I think you will be one of the exceptions."

He lifted his head to look into her eyes. "Why?"

More than anything Joey wanted to pull him into her arms and sooth away his fears. Instead she took his hand. "I've known you my whole life, Pacey. And I have never once heard you say something intentionally cruel." He moved to interrupt her. She waved him off. "There have been times when you have spoken thoughtlessly. Everyone does. But have you ever intentionally hurt someone you cared about? No. Even when we would get into our little verbal skirmishes you were always careful about my feelings, trying very hard not to cross the line." She reached up and stroked his cheek gently. "You don't hurt, Pacey."

Pacey was speechless. This was Joey, his Joey, saying these things about him. "But. . ."

"No buts. Think about it. Who is the one we all turn to when we need to be rescued, hmm? And before you say anything, yes, I know you've had fights. But what were they about? Us, your friends. Every time it was because someone had hurt a person you cared about. You look after people, Pacey. You look after me."

Pacey's smile was a bit soggy but still bright. "Thanks, Joey. It means a lot to hear that, especially from you."

"Why especially from me?" she asked hopefully.

Pacey shrugged. "If it came from any of the others I would have to weigh what they said against how hard they'd be trying not to hurt my feelings. With you its different."

Joey wasn't sure she liked where this was going. "Why's that?"

"Because, they're my friends. It's their job to say nice things about me, especially to my face."

Joey felt her chest tighten. "And, uh," she hesitated unable to find the right words, "so you think I'll tell you the truth because . . .?"

"C'mon, Joey. We both know I'm not exactly your favourite person. If you say something nice about me, it must be true. Right?" It hurt to say the words, but he knew them to be true.

Joey was caught off guard by the sudden vision of them laying tangled together in bed aboard True Love, whispering loving nonsense to each other. How could he think that? "Pacey, do you really think I don't - that we're not friends?" The thought was unbearable.

He shrugged one shoulder. "I know I think of you as my friend. Hell, you're my best friend. I guess I just never thought you would consider me. . . I don't know. . . Do you?"

She grabbed both his hands in hers. "Dammit, Pacey. Of course I do. God, how could you think that I didn't care about you? After everything we've been through this year, after the way you've been there for me? Everything we went through to be together, how much we hurt everyone, how scared we were -" She stopped suddenly realising what she was saying.

Pacey looked at her as though she'd grown horns. "What?"

"Nothing. I was just babbling. I think I need to rest" She began to burrow under the covers hoping he'd leave it alone.

Pacey opened his mouth to comment then saw the fear in her eyes. He'd leave it for now. She was, after all, still not fully recovered from a rather serious head injury. "Fine, you rest. But we will finish this conversation later," he warned, tucking the blanket in around her.

Joey refused to open her eyes, knowing she'd be no match for his searching gaze.

"Sleep well, Jo." Pacey turned out the lights and closed the door behind him.

                         ~*~

"It's about time. You do know you're like five days late," Buzz sniped as soon as he opened the door to admit Pacey.

"I've been otherwise engaged." Pacey grabbed Buzz's bag from the bench beside the door. "You ready to go?"

Buzz crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Who says I want to go anywhere with you?"

"Your mother. Let's go." Pacey opened the door and ushered his charge outside.

"I'm not gonna help you work on your stupid boat." Buzz sniped.

"Then you can watch me." Pacey stowed the bag in the backseat of the car.

"Nice wheels. What'd you do hit, the lottery?" Buzz admired the new car.

"It's a rental." Pacey got in behind the wheel. "It's only until we settle things with the insurance company."

"Hey, what? Insurance? What happened, you smack up the other one?" Buzz asked, hoping for some gory details.

Pacey sighed. "Yes, I was in an accident. But before you ask, no, it wasn't my fault. The other idiot was drunk."

"That sucks." Buzz considered for a moment. "Were you hurt? Is that why you didn't come see me?"

"I'm fine, just a few scratches."

"Oh." Buzz's mood shifted.

Pacey laughed. "Don't sound so broken up about it. A guy might start to think you wanted me to be injured."

"How come you didn't come see me then, huh? If you weren't hurt what's your big excuse?" Buzz asked belligerently.

Pacey kicked himself mentally for not realising how sensitive Buzz would be to his seeming abandonment. "I'm sorry, buddy. I would have been there but a friend of mine was hurt in the accident. She just got out of the hospital yesterday so I've been with her."

"Her? A gi-irl?" Buzz teased. "Was it Joey? The one you loooove."

"Yes, it was Joey. And she's going to be fine, thanks for asking."

Buzz shrugged the sarcasm off. "I knew she was okay."

"What? How? You psychic now too?"

"No, lame-o! If she wasn't okay you wouldn't be here now, would you? God, people really think kids are stupid don't they?" Buzz asked, insulted.

Pacey laughed. "I doubt anyone would ever accuse you of being stupid, Buzzman." Pacey reached over to ruffle his hair. "So you ready to get to work?" he asked as they pulled into the boatyard.

"Like I have a choice." Buzz grumbled. "I think you got into this mentoring thing just for the free labour."

"Yup, you got it." Pacey grinned at Buzz and handed him a brush. "Now get to work."

"Yes, boss!"

She could see the brilliant blue of the dawn sky as she peered through the hatch. It was only six a.m.. Far too early to be up and about, but when she had awakened alone she had come looking for him. She found him on deck throwing bread crumbs to the gulls. "Hey," she said settling into his arms.

He placed a gentle kiss on the side of her neck. "Morning." He squeezed her tight. "How come you're up so early?"

"Couldn't sleep. Bed's too damn big."

He laughed. "Oh, really?"

She half turned to face him, pressing soft kisses along his jaw line. "Yeah. Just little ol' me, all alone in that great big bed. A girl could begin to feel abandoned." She moved up to nibble on his ear. "Neglected even."

Pacey laughed. "Big ol' bed, huh?"

"Yup."

"The same 'big ol' bed' you declared a few short months ago was barely big enough for one of us let alone both?" he teased, his laughter turning to groans as she found a particularly sensitive spot on his neck.

"Shut up," she captured his lips in a slow sensuous kiss. When she was certain she had his full attention she released him. "Now, what say we go back down below and I get to wake up properly, hmm?" She cast a coquettish look up at him from beneath her lashes.

"Well, I wouldn't want to get your morning off to a bad start now, would I?" He stood lifting her into his arms.

"Pacey!" she protested weakly. "Put me down."

"Ummm. . ." He pretended to consider her order then grinned. "Nope."

Any further protest was cut off by his lips on hers. This was the way she wanted to wake up. This morning and for every morning to come. This man and his wonderful deep, delicious, incredibly erotic kisses that made her whole body sing. "God, Pacey," she panted when he finally broke the kiss.

"Still want me to put you down?" he asked, his tone playful and knowing.

"No. But if you don't get me below in the next thirty seconds, those gulls you were feeding are going to get one hell of a show." she rasped, her voice hoarse with need.

"Anything the lady wants, the lady gets." He ducked as he carried her into the cabin.

"I could learn to like that." She nipped at his ear.

"Hmm, I would imagine so." He laid her on the bed. "So, what *does* the lady want?"

Joey pretended to consider. "Hmm, how about," She grabbed him and hauled him down beside her, "you."

"I always did say you have impeccable taste." He began to unbutton her shirt. "Hmmm? Why is it women always look so much better in our clothes than we do?" he asked as he kissed and nibbled each newly exposed inch of skin. "God, you taste good." He pushed the shirt off her shoulders suckling gently on her collar bone. He felt her tug on his hair and looked up to meet her eyes dark chocolate with arousal. "What is it, Jo?"

"I love you Pacey." She smiled when she saw his eyes light up. She would never get used to how happy those three simple words could make him.

"I -"

"Joey, you in there?" The banging on her door dragged her back to reality.

"What?" Joey shook her head to clear it. "Come in."

Dawson's blonde head popped around the door. "Hi."

Joey barely stifled a groan. Did he have some sort of radar that let him know when she least wanted his company? "Hi, Dawson."

Dawson was a bit taken aback by her less than enthusiastic greeting. "Is this a bad time?"

Joey was a bit resentful at having her beautiful daydream interrupted but she could hardly explain that to Dawson. "Nope. Everything fine, come on in." She waved at the chair beside her bed. "Have a seat."

Dawson ignored the chair and sat next to her on the bed, taking her hand. "So, how are you feeling?" He smiled at her. "Better I hope."

Joey nodded. "Definitely better. I have to go see the doctor this afternoon and I'm hoping he'll tell me I'm well enough to at least get out of bed and join the real world again." Joey had to smile to herself at the irony of that statement.

"Perfect. May I offer my services as your chauffeur?"

"Uh, thanks for the offer, Dawson, but I already have a ride."

"I'm sure Bessie won't mind if I drive you."

"Actually, uh, well, Pacey's going to take me." Joey looked down at her hands.

"Oh." Dawson stood up and walked to her window. "You and Pacey seem to be spending an awful lot of time together lately."

Joey caught the edge in his voice. "Is that a problem, Dawson?"

"No! No, of course not. Why would I have a problem with you hanging out with Pacey? I mean you two have spent quite a bit of time together this year."

"Yes, we have. Pacey's been a good friend to me."

Dawson cleared his throat. "I guess I'm just surprised that's all."

"Surprised? By what?"

"Well. . . I guess I thought that once you and I got back on track you would. . . I don't know. . . maybe not. . . it's just that we used to be. . ."

Joey almost choked. "You thought that once you deigned to be my friend again I would drop Pacey!" She just stared at him. Who *was* this guy.

"NO! Don't be ridiculous. Of course that's not what I thought." Dawson paced back and forth trying to choose his words very carefully. "I guess I never expected you two to get so close. That you would need him more than you need me."

Joey sighed. "Dawson, sit down." This time he chose the chair. "Dawson, Pacey has been there for me this year. Every time I needed him. Hell, even when I didn't know I needed him he was there. No matter how badly I treated him or how often I forgot to say thank you, he was always there beside me." She felt the tears sting her eyes at the memories of the ways in which she had hurt and rejected Pacey, in reality and in her dreams.

Dawson saw the tears, he saw the pain she was feeling. And he saw something else. Something he'd never dreamed he'd see in Joey Potter's eyes. Something he wished he'd missed. "My, god, you're in love with him!" he blurted.

Joey's head snapped up to stare at Dawson. "Wha - what are you. . . Dawson!" she stuttered.

Dawson moved to sit next to her on the bed. "The other day in the hospital, when you asked me how I would feel about you falling in love with someone else, it was him, wasn't it? He was the one you were thinking of."

Joey shook her head wildly. "Dawson -"

"Please do me the courtesy of not trying to lie to me. You owe me that much."

Joey snorted. "I *owe* you? For what, may I ask, do I *owe* you?"

Dawson knew he'd talked himself into a corner but he was too angry to care. "I can't believe you! Ten years of friendship and this is what I get. After everything we've been through you're willing to throw it all away for a mindless fling with *Pacey Witter*? God, Joey!"

"What exactly am I throwing away, Dawson?" Joey demanded coldly. "How does the way I may or may not feel about Pacey have anything whatsoever to do with our relationship?" She challenged, aware that she was not going to like his answer.

"You really think you and I are going to have any sort of relationship if you're with him?"

Joey was growing angrier by the minute. This conversation was all too familiar. "I don't see what one has to do with the other."

Dawson stared at her incredulously. "You think I'm going to stand by waiting to pick up the pieces when he gets tired of you? Think again, Joey. I won't play second fiddle to Pacey."

Joey laughed bitterly. "No, I guess I couldn't expect my best friend to want to be there and support me. How irrational of me to think that you might want me to be happy. I should have realised that I am only allowed to be happy if it doesn't interfere with your ordered little universe. Wouldn't want good old Joey overstepping her bounds now would we?"

Dawson was stunned. Joey had never spoken to him like that before. Never. She had always place utmost importance on their friendship. "I won't let you do this, Jo."

Joey gaped at him. "You won't *let* me do this? And how exactly do you plan to stop me?"

"So you're saying that you're willing to discard ten years of friendship and everything we've been to each other."

"No."

Dawson smiled, he knew she wouldn't do it.

Joey saw the smug grin and her chin came up. "From where I sit, Dawson, it's you who's willing to throw away our friendship because you can't handle the fact that I may feel something for someone other than you."

"It's hardly just *anyone*, Joey. This is Pacey we're talking about. Come on, you know what he's like!" He decided to change tactics.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Just what I said. Pacey likes women. What makes you think you're any different?" he asked snidely.

Joey smirked at him. "You mean different from Tamara Jacobs, who he loved so much he was willing to be labelled a punk kid liar and trouble maker just to save her skin? Or do you mean different from Andie, for whom he went to hell and back trying to be everything she needed, and is still willing to be her friend even after she betrayed his love for her? Are you asking how I'm different from those two women, Dawson? After all they are the only two women he's actually been involved with. To be perfectly honest, Dawson, I'm not so sure I want to be different than them. Except maybe I'd realise what a precious gift his love is and not abuse it the way they did." Joey folded her arms across her chest and stared at her friend, waiting.

Unfortunately for Dawson, although he knew everything she said was true, he just couldn't let it go. "Fine, you go to Pacey. Tell him how you think you feel about him. He'll laugh in your face."

Joey gasped as the barb hit close to her deepest fear. "Get out!"

Dawson was startled by her vehemence. "Joey "

"GET OUT!"

"Fine. But don't expect me to be there when you get hurt." He marched out slamming the door behind him.

As soon as he was gone Joey gave in to her tears.

                         ~*~

Pacey was laying on the living room floor colouring with Sarah when he heard the door slam. He sat up in time to see Dawson charge down the stairs. "Dawson?"

Dawson stopped suddenly and turned on his *best friend*. "You know what, Pacey. I always knew you were a thoughtless bastard, but I didn't think even you would go this far." He whirled back around and slammed out of the house.

Pacey just stared at the place where Dawson had stood. What the ? He turned to his niece. "Sarah, sweetie, Uncle Pacey will be back in a minute okay?"

Sarah grinned up at her new favourite uncle. "'Kay, I'll save your spot." She patted the picture he had been working on. "And I won't colour on it neither."

Pacey had to smile at the sweet child. He looked toward the stairs wondering what sort of drama Joey and Dawson had cooked up this week and if he really wanted to get in the middle of their issues again? He knew it wasn't really a choice. Squaring his shoulders he climbed the stairs.

Joey jumped slightly when she hard the tap on her bedroom door. Surely Dawson hadn't returned. "Come in."

Pacey opened the door and stepped into the room. "Hey."

"Pacey! What are you doing here? My appointment isn't until this afternoon," she blurted, shocked to see him and terrified he may have overheard her argument with Dawson.

"I got here about ten minutes ago. Carson and Bessie asked me if I'd watch the kids. They said Dawson was up here so I didn't want to interrupt." He sat on the bed beside her, taking in her flushed, tear stained face. "What happened, Jo. Dawson stormed outta here after laying into me. Now I can see you've been crying." He reached up and gently brushed away a tear. "You wanna talk about it?"

Joey looked up at him, her eyes full of something he couldn't quite identify. "What did Dawson say to you?"

"He called me a thoughtless bastard and seemed to think I'd done him some injustice. You know what he was talking about?"

Joey fidgeted with her blankets. "I, well, he may think that, well, that I-- Oh God, I can't do this." She buried her face in her hands.

"Hey." Pacey gently disengaged her hands, holding them both in his. "Joey, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

Joey nodded, sniffling. "I know. But this is, well, this is different."

"No, it's not." He tilted her face up so he could see her eyes. "You can tell me anything."

Joey searched those blue eyes she trusted so completely and found nothing but gentle caring. She smiled damply at him and took a deep breath. It was now or never. "It's kind of a long story."

"I got plenty of time- "

"Pacey?" Bessie hollered up the stairs. "You up there?"

Pacey went to the door. "Yeah, I'm here. I'll be down in a sec." He turned to Joey. "I'll be right back." He started down the stairs.

Bessie met him halfway. "You stay with Jo. I just wanted to let you know Carson and I are taking the kids out to see your parents."

"Oh, WOW!"

"Yeah, should be interesting, but Doug wants to tell them and Carson's hauling me along as back-up."

Pacey laughed. "Yeah, well, with my parents she may need it."

Bessie smiled at him. "Let's hope not. There are some leftovers in the fridge, if you don't mind getting lunch for you and Joey."

"Sounds great."

"Thanks, Pacey."

When Pacey re-entered Joey's room she was standing staring out the window. "What are you doing out of bed, young lady?" He teased coming up behind her.

"Would you mind if we went out to the dock to have our little talk?" Joey asked, not turning around.

"Are you sure you're up to that? It's pretty chilly out."

She nodded. "Yeah, I'll bundle up. I just think I'll be able to think better if I'm outside. By the water."

Pacey hesitated, not sure what to make of her strange mood. "Okay, then. We'll go outside. You get dressed in something cozy, I'll go get us something warm to drink." He rubbed her arms. "Okay?"

She nodded again, and he left her alone.

Pacey was boiling water for tea when Joey joined him in the kitchen. "Whatcha makin'?" she asked coming up behind him.

"Well, the doctor said no caffeine for you so hot chocolate and coffee are out. How does Lemon Zip tea sound to you?"

"Horrid, but hot. It'll do." She sat at the table to watch him putter around. "How did you know what the doctor's orders were?"

"I asked."

"You what?"

He shrugged self-consciously. "I knew you might not take the best care of yourself so I asked her if there was anything in particular you should or shouldn't be doing. She seemed to think it was a good idea that someone look out for you."

Joey shook her head, his obvious concern soothing her nerves and warming her heart. "Thanks, Pacey."

Pacey stopped what he was doing to face her. "For what?"

Joey shrugged. "For looking out for me. For being you."

Pacey could feel himself blushing. "Aw shucks, ma'am. Twern't nothin'," he joked to cover his discomfort. He filled two cups with the hot liquid. "So, you ready?"

Joey swallowed hard and stood on shaky legs. "Yeah, I guess so."

Pacey could see how nervous she was. "Are you sure you want to do this, Joey?"

"Not really, but if I don't it's going to drive me nuts."

"Okay then, can't have that." Pacey helped her on with her coat and opened the front door. "Shall we?"

Joey nodded firmly and walked out onto the porch.

Pacey was right. It was too damn cold to be outside. Joey pulled her jacket tighter around her and stared out at the creek. How the hell do you go about telling the boy you'd fought with your entire life that a concussion-enhanced dream made you realise you were head over heels in love with him? That despite the fact that he had never laid a hand on you, you knew exactly how he felt. The way he tasted. How gentle he was when he made love to you. The way he looked at you when he said 'I love you'. She glanced sideways at Pacey. When exactly had he become someone she *could* fall in love with? She though back to the beginning of the year, when she had so effectively humiliated herself with Dawson. Pacey had come to her then and instead of using her folly to tease and further embarrass her, he had offered a shoulder. That shoulder hadn't moved in almost a year. Even now as they stood there on the docks, he was silent, allowing her the time she needed to get her thoughts together. Joey cleared her throat. "You weren't kidding when you said it was chilly out here."

Pacey was suddenly concerned. "Are you okay? Did you want to go back inside?"

She shook her head, smiling at him. "I'm fine. I'm not made of glass, Pacey."

Pacey laughed. "No, I doubt anyone would ever accuse you of that, Jo. But you have been very sick and I would hate to see you have a relapse, especially one that could be blamed on me."

Joey grinned up at him. "Aha! See, I knew there had to be an ulterior motive for all this concern."

"Hell, yeah." Pacey saw her shiver and removed his scarf. "Here." He tucked it around her face and neck.

Joey was sure her heart stopped when she felt his fingers brush her face. She could feel every nerve in her body spring to life.

Pacey felt her tremble and misinterpreted. "Damn it, Joey, I knew we shouldn't be out here." He wrapped his arm around her and tried to steer her back toward the house.

Joey froze the minute his arm came around her. She pulled away abruptly. "Don't!"

Pacey jerked away as if burned. "Joey?"

She hunched her shoulders up to her ears and turned away.

Pacey put his hand out tentatively. "Jo, you wanna tell me what's going on?"

She shook her head sharply. "Nothing's going on."

"Well, then you want to explain to me why you practically leapt out of my arms a second ago?"

Joey just shrugged, refusing to look at him.

"Dammit, Joey. Look at me." She turned to face him and he was horrified to see tears glistening in her eyes. "What the. . . Joey, you have to tell me what's wrong. Obviously there is something hurting you. Is it me? Did I say or do something to upset you?"

Joey shook her head, trying desperately to regain control.

Pacey brought a gentle hand up to cup her cheek. "Joey, look at me." She lifted her gaze to meet his. "You know there is nothing you can say to me that I won't at least try to understand, don't you?" She nodded. "Good, then why don't you tell me what it is that's upsetting you so badly."

Joey sniffled once and collapsed against his chest sobbing. Once again Pacey was at a loss. This was such terribly un-Joeylike behaviour. She didn't cry. Well, except when. . . Pacey felt his heart crack. Dawson. He took a deep breath. "Jo, I'm sure no matter what it was you and Dawson fought about, he'll come around. He always does. He never has been able to stay mad at you." He rubbed her back tenderly. "Don't worry. He'll be back, hat in hand, with an apology for whatever it was he said, and things will be fine."

Joey stepped back out of his arms. "What are you talking about, Pacey?"

He shrugged helplessly. "I don't know! I'm assuming that Dawson's why you're so upset. Whatever you two fought about has obviously hit pretty hard."

"Pacey, this has nothing to do with Dawson. Well maybe a bit. No not really. Well I guess in a way he's involved but not for the reasons you think." Joey was fully aware she was babbling but was unable to stop herself.

Pacey was by now thoroughly confused. "Oh-kay. So the fight with Dawson isn't the reason you've got tearcicles on your eyelashes."

Joey had to smile at his silliness. "Actually my fight with Dawson has everything to do with this. Only in a very backwards way."

"Okay, Jo, I have no idea what you're talking about." He sat on the dock and patted the space next to him. "So why don't you sit yourself down and enlighten me."

Joey took a deep fortifying breath and settled down beside him on the dock. "Well. . . I guess I should start at the beginning. When I woke up in the hosp -"

"Joey!"

Joey turned to see her big sister barrelling down the dock toward them. "What are you doing out here? It's freezing. Are you trying to land yourself back in the hospital?" She whirled on Pacey. "And you. You were supposed to be taking care of her. How could you let her come out here?" Pacey opened his mouth. "I don't want to here it. Get in the house, both of you." She ordered pointing up the dock.

The two teens rose reluctantly. "Bessie -"

"No! Dammit, Joey, are you trying to make yourself sick?"

Joey rolled her eyes. "Bessie, come on. It's not like we were swimming in the creek. We were just sitting on the dock."

"Yes. In the freezing cold, when you've are only days out of the hospital with a serious head injury." Bessie followed them up the dock.

Joey stopped short. "Bessie, I'm fine. After my appointment today the doctor will tell me to go back to my life. What difference does it make that I started a bit early?"

"Until such time as Dr. Martin tells me you are fit, you will stay in this house."

Joey shot Pacey a look then turned to her sister. "What do you mean tells you? Are you coming to my appointment?"

"Yes."

"But I thought we agreed Pacey was going to take me."

"That was before I found you and *Pacey* out in the cold."

"But -"

"No buts. I'm not sure I can trust you to be honest with me about what the doctor tells you. Therefore I will be there to hear it myself." Bessie crossed her arms, daring them to argue.

Joey sighed, her lower lip jutting out. "I'm not a baby, Bessie."

"Then stop acting like one." Bessie took her sister's hand. "The doctor put you on bed rest for a reason, Jo. I don't want to see you sick again. It was too damn hard the first time."

Joey felt like a heel. "I'm sorry, Bessie. I don't mean to worry you."

Bessie hugged her sister. "I know, Joey. But it comes with the territory." She stepped back. "Now, I want you to go upstairs right now, young lady."

"But--" Joey looked beseechingly at Pacey. He shrugged helplessly.

"No buts. Pacey can come back later. After your appointment." Bessie shooed Pacey out the door. "You should go home anyway, Pacey. Your family is celebrating its newest and cutest member."

Pacey looked up hopefully. "Mom and Dad were okay with it?" he asked, his voice heavy with disbelief.

"They were shocked of course, but truly delighted. Go join them, Pacey. Your mom was asking for you." Bessie closed the door firmly behind him.

Pacey stared at the door for a moment. So much for his talk with Joey. Just when she had been willing to open up to him too. Damn! He headed to his car. At least he had something happy to go home to.

                         ~*~

When Pacey arrived at his parents house he was delighted to find a happy party in progress. Sarah was teaching her new grandpa the finer points of Barbie dolls while her parents and grandmother watched, smiling at their antics. "Hey, guys."

Doug stood and came to meet his brother. "Hey, Pace. How's Joey? She feeling any better?"

"Yeah, much. She finds out today whether or not she's off bed rest." Pacey addressed his father. "Hey, Pop." He went to his mother. "Hey, Mom." He bent to kiss her cheek.

Doreen Witter hugged her youngest child. "Isn't it wonderful?" she asked, looking at Doug and Carson seated together on the love seat.

Pacey smiled. "Yeah, Mom. It is."

"Uncle Pacey!" Sarah squealed throwing herself into his arms. "I gotta a grampa and a gramma and a whole bunches of cousins and did you know that Daddy is a police man and grampa too and that I'm gonna be a police man when I get big or maybe a vetinarium cause I really like cats." She finished breathlessly

Pacey squeezed her tight. "I bet you'll be the best police man vetinarium in the whole world."

Sarah giggled at her uncle. "Not both at the same time silly."

"Why not? I bet you could if you wanted to. Don't you think grampa? She could be the best police man vetinarium there ever was." Pacey grinned at his father.

John smiled brightly. "The best in the whole world. But first we have to get Barbie here ready for her big date. Sarah, you want to ask Uncle Pacey to come play?"

Sarah shook her head. "He likes to colour better." She wiggled out of Pacey's arms and rejoined her grandfather and her dolls.

Pacey grinned. Wouldn't the good people of Capeside sleep better if the could see their illustrious Sheriff slipping Barbie into evening wear. He looked around the room. "Hey, mom. Where's Carrie and the brood?"

Doreen smiled. "She and Gerry reconciled. It's been a good month for our family."

Pacey froze. "Really. Hey, that's great. When did that happen?" he asked stiffly.

Doreen's smile widened. "Late last week. She was so happy when he showed up here. I was too. It was a relief that they could work things out so quickly." Doreen rattled on about how happy Carrie sounded when she had spoken to her. Pacey heard none of it. His sister had moved out. She was gone and no one had thought to tell him. His parents hadn't called him. He had just been in a horrible accident and his own parents hadn't seen fit to take him home.

Doug was the first to respond to the surprising news. "Why didn't you tell us, Mom?"

Doreen seemed startled by the question. "I guess I didn't think of it. You and Carrie haven't been particularly close since she married Gerry. You didn't even come to see her while she was here, Douglas."

While Doug was staring at his mother incredulously, Carson was watching Pacey. She was about to go to him when he stood. "I, uh, I gotta go. I told Joey I'd drive her to her doctor's appointment." He rushed out the front door.

Doug stood to follow and realised Carson was already putting Sarah's coat on her. He grabbed his daughter. "Go!" he barked at Carson. She sprinted out the door.

"Pacey! Pacey wait!" she called, running down the walk to the car. "Pacey, please!" Pacey was fumbling with the car keys when she reached him. "Pacey -"

"Don't! Just don't, please, Car."

"Baby -"

"Carson, I'm fine." He finally managed to open the car door.

"No you're not. Baby, please. . ."

Pacey sighed and turned to face her. "Please, what, Car. Please don't be upset that my parents didn't bother to tell me my room was now free. Please don't let it get to me that even though I was in a serious car accident less than a week ago, they let me continue to sleep on my brother's couch." His voice was beginning to crack. "Please don't be upset that my own parents make no bones about the fact that they don't want me around." His voice finally broke and Carson gathered him close.

"Shhh. Ah, baby I wish. . ." She murmured gentle reassurances to him until he had calmed. She looked up and saw Doug on the porch holding Sarah. "Pacey? Baby, I have to go get my purse, okay? Doug and Sarah are here. We're going to take you home, okay? Just give me a minute." She patted his shoulder and went back inside.

John Witter was trying to calm, his obviously upset wife. He looked up when Carson entered the room. "Would you mind telling me what the hell is going on here, Carson?"

Carson couldn't find the words. She just stared at them. How could these be the same people who had fussed so thoroughly and lovingly over Sarah? "You know, John, I swear I'm never going to understand you."

"Pardon me?"

"How could you do that to that poor child?"

"What the hell are you talking about, Carson?"

"I'm talking about the fact that your son is sleeping on his brother's couch when there is a perfectly good bedroom available to him here! In his HOME!"

John closed his eyes. He should have known. She always had been Pacey's biggest champion. "Carson, Pacey has been perfectly happy staying at Doug's. We didn't want to -"

"Perfectly happy? He sleeps on the couch in the living room for Christ's sake. *This* is his home, John!"

John straightened his shoulders. "We're doing what we think is best, Carson."

Carson snorted. She should have known better. "Well I can see I'm wasting my breath. Good-bye." She grabbed her purse and left.

Pacey and Doug were waiting by the rental, doing their best to entertain Sarah who was well aware something was wrong. Carson smiled cheerfully as she approached. "Let's go home."

                         ~*~

Carson was puttering around the kitchen getting lunch ready when Doug joined Pacey on the couch. "Carse and I have been talking."

"This is a good thing," Pacey quipped.

"We're going to use the money Helen Walker left her to buy a house."

Pacey grinned broadly and clapped his brother on the back. "Hey, that's wonderful, Doug. Congratulations!"

"Thanks, Pace." Doug's smile softened. "We want you to help us pick it out."

Pacey gave him an odd look. "Why? What do I know about houses?"

"Well, we thought since you're going to be living there too, you might want to have some say in it."

Pacey was speechless.

Doug grinned. "Pace, you're beginning to worry me. Say something."

Pacey had to swallow the lump in his throat. "You mean it? You guys want me to move in? To live with you?"

"Yeah. We talked about it on the way here. Carson adores you. Always has. And I know you love her just as much. Sarah thinks you're the greatest thing since sliced bread." He grinned cheekily. "And it will be nice to have a built in baby sitter for the next year or so."

"Aha! So there is a motive to this madness."

"Hey, free help is hard to find." Doug became serious. "So what do you say, Pace. You want to live with us on a permanent basis?"

Pacey nodded, his throat tight. "Thanks, Doug."

Doug hugged his brother. "That's what brothers are for."

Pacey returned the embrace. "I'm beginning to see that."

                         ~*~

After lunch Pacey went back to the Potter's to wait for Joey. He knew she'd be thrilled with his news. He was sitting on the porch, watching the creek when he saw Dawson approaching. "Hey, D. They're not back yet."

Dawson nodded. "I didn't think they would be. I've been looking for you, Pacey."

"Me? Why?" Pacey wasn't sure he liked Dawson's tone.

"We need to talk."

"Okay." Pacey shifted on the porch to face his friend. "What's up, Dawson?"

"I want you to stay the hell away from Joey."

"Pardon me?" Pacey snorted incredulously.

Dawson crossed his arms, staring at his friend. "I said, I want you to stay away from Joey."

Pacey shook his head sharply. This was insane. "What are you talking about, Dawson? Why would I stay away from Joey?"

"Because I asked you to. And I am your best friend, right, Pace?"

"Yeah, Dawson. You're my friend, but so is Jo. And frankly, man, I'm not going to abandon her just on your say-so."

"So even if I ask you - as my best friend - to stay away from her. You'd say no?"

Pacey stood to face him. "Where's this coming from, Dawson? Why would you think I'd even consider it? You know me better than that. Joey's my friend. Hell she's my best friend. What's going on?"

"I was just hoping that you'd put some value on our friendship. I guess I was wrong," Dawson answered haughtily.

"Okay, hold it right there!" Pacey moved closer until the two were toe to toe. "For one thing, I *am* your friend. And you know damn well I would do almost anything for you. Secondly, there is no way in hell I am going to stay away from Joey just because you feel threatened by our relationship."

Dawson snorted. "I hate to break this to you, Pace, but you're no threat to me."

Pacey smirked. "Really? No threat? Then explain this to me Dawson. Explain to me why you're standing there demanding that I abandon a life long friend because you seem to have some sort of problem with me."

Dawson straightened his shoulders. "I'm just looking out for Joey."

"Oohh." Pacey nodded, "I see. Well, just so long as it's Joey you're worried about I guess it's okay." His jaw tightened. "Cut the crap, Dawson. What the hell is your problem?"

Dawson stared at him, his eyes cold. "As I said, I'm looking out for Joey. I'd hate to see her hurt."

Pacey just shook his head. "Oh-kay. So, in order for Joey not be hurt, *I* as her close friend should just stop speaking to her altogether. Is that how we're going to protect Joey, Dawson? 'Cause frankly, I don't see it working."

"You're a screw up, Pacey. You haven't had one single solid relationship in your entire life. Why do you want to drag Joey down too?"

Pacey took a step back. "Well, I guess it's nice to know what my *best friend* really thinks of me." He turned to leave then stopped. "You know, Dawson, before today, I would have done almost anything to ensure you were happy. Including going without the one thing I wanted more than anything else. You were that important to me, D. But what I won't do for you, Dawson, is hurt Joey. Ever. Especially since you're so god-damned transparent. You can stand there and tell yourself that your motives are purely altruistic, but we both know why you want me out of Joey's life. And it has absolutely nothing to do with ensuring *her* happiness." Pacey walked back up the steps and into the house without a backwards glance.

"I really thought you were smarter than that, Dawson."

Dawson whirled around to find Jen standing there, her face a mask of disgust. "What? All I was doing -"

"Stop. Please. I'm no stupider than Pacey. And we both see very clearly through your *concern* for Joey. God, Dawson, what were you thinking? What if it had been Joey who'd overheard that conversation instead of me? She'd have handed you your intestines on a platter."

"I'm just looking out for her," Dawson insisted sulkily.

"No, Dawson, you were looking out for yourself. As usual. What happened? Did you finally take a close look at your best friends and see something you didn't like? Maybe you finally saw what the rest of us have been privy to for months."

Dawson's head shot up. "What?"

Jen shook her head. "Forget it, Dawson. Just a word of advice. Don't try and float that same load of garbage with Joey. She's not as forgiving as Pacey. And unlike him, she wouldn't resist slugging you." She turned to the driveway just as the Potter sisters arrived home. "Well, I wish you luck my friend. You're going to need it." She walked to the truck. "Hey, Joey."

"Jen, hi." Joey smiled as she climbed out of the truck.

"How're you feeling?"

"Great. Wonderful. Even better now that my doctor has freed me from my incarceration." She grinned at her sister. "Though I think the warden's a bit unhappy about losing her power."

"You are so not funny." Bessie threw over her shoulder as she climbed the stairs.

The girls both laughed. Then Jen said, "Well I just wanted to stop by and say hi. See how you were doing." She cast a glance at the porch where Dawson still stood. "But I think I'll be going now. Bye." She took off at a jog.

Joey watched her leave with a puzzled expression on her face. That was weird. Then she spotted Dawson on her front porch. "What are you doing here, Dawson?" she asked, approaching him.

Dawson was startled by her cold tone. "Well, I thought I'd stop by to see my best friend after her doctor's appointment."

"Really?" she asked skeptically.

"Yes, really. Listen, Jo, I know I said a few things earlier that you may not have wanted to hear but -"

Joey held up her hand. "No, Dawson. The things you said earlier were the truth." She saw the smile bloom on his face. "At least as you see it." The smile faded. "Unfortunately for the rest of us, you have a tendency to see the *truth* only as it pertains to you." She waved him off as he moved to interrupt her, spurred on by the painful *memory* of the ultimatum that almost ruined everything. "No, Dawson. It's my turn. Your truth is that the way I feel about Pacey makes you unhappy. Therefore it *must* be a negative thing for everyone involved, regardless of whether or not it would make me happy to be with him. And regardless of how he may or may not feel about me. If it's bad for Dawson, it's bad. Period. Right?"

Dawson was struck dumb by the vehemence of her speech. He could only stare at her. Where had all this come from? How could Joey possibly be saying these things to him? "Joey -"

"You know what, Dawson, I'm really tired. I'm going to go lie down." She headed for the door.

"But, Jo "

"Bye, Dawson." She closed the door in his face.

Joey leaned against the front door and sighed.

"Hey, you."

Joey jumped at Pacey's soft greeting. "Hey." she smiled nervously.

"You okay?"

Joey smiled brightly. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Pacey cocked his head toward the door. "Things looked pretty intense out there."

"I ah. Yeah, I guess. Why? Did you hear what we were arguing about?" she asked nervously.

Pacey shook his head. "No, I just looked out the window to see where you'd disappeared to. You guys looked pretty into whatever you were talking about."

"Yeah, well, you know, to Dawson everything's an issue." She tried to smile.

"Yeah." Pacey studied her for a moment, taking in the nervous fidgeting and her inability to look him in the eye. "You wanna talk about it?"

Joey nodded. "Yeah, but can we do it later? I'm beat."

Pacey was relieved she was still willing to talk. "Of course." He took her coat from her and ushered her toward the stairs. "You go have a nap. You know where to find me when you're ready to talk."

Joey stopped on the bottom step, noting that this put her at eye level with him. She smiled sweetly at him. "I don't know what I'd do without you, Pace."

Pacey felt himself blush. "Yeah, well, let's hope you never have to find out. Now get!" He pointed up the stairs with a grin.

"I'm going." She turned once more to face him. "I'll call you later, okay?"

"You bet, Potter. Have a nice nap."

                         ~*~

He came up silently behind her.

She felt his presence like a tangible force.

Her hair was drawn to one side and he was looking at the bare curve of her neck. For a second, he stood there, not moving. Then she felt his hands against the sensitive skin of her back and closed her eyes, losing herself in the sensation.

She stood motionless then gasped when she felt his mouth against the back of her neck. She closed her eyes again. "Pacey," she whispered.

He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her close as his lips softly nuzzled the skin behind her ear. They stood there frozen, their bodies close.

She drew a long, shaky breath, leaning into him.

He turned her to face him. "Are you sure?"

Joey raised her eyes to his. "More than anything."

His hand slid over her shoulder, curving around her nape, his thumb stroking.

Her lids drifted down. "I don't know what to do, Pacey."

"Don't think," he whispered hoarsely as he bent his head to her. "Just feel."

At first the kiss was light, coaxing, a gentle caress. Then his hands shifted, drifting down her back to draw her closer. Lost in the kiss, she moved her hands to his chest, over his shoulders and then up around his neck her fingers tangling in his hair. The minute she moulded herself to him, the kiss exploded.

The room tilted as they fell to the bed, his body covering hers. Mouths and hands explored and teased, making them both ache. They undressed each other slowly, awkwardly, their hands shaking.

Joey moaned softly, his touch setting her on fire.

Leaning over her, Pacey's mouth returned to hers again and again, unable to get enough of the taste of her.

And then it stopped.

He cradled her face between his palms. "Joey, look at me," he said huskily.

She forced her eyes to open and looked into his. The moment that she did, the magic began and suddenly, they weren't aware of anything else except the passion raging between them.

When it was over, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close.

She relaxed into him as his hands traced gentle patterns on her sensitised skin. She fell asleep in his arms, feeling utterly at peace.

                         ~*~

Pacey was mesmerised. Hearing Joey Potter moan his name in her sleep had to be the single most captivating thing he had ever encountered. The smile on her sleeping face was a close second. He was having a tough time wrapping his mind around the thought that she was dreaming about him. Pleasant dreams if that satisfied grin was any indication. As he watched her eyelashes began to flutter, she was slowly waking up.

Joey stretched languidly. She felt incredible. God, the things he made her feel! She opened her eyes to see the blue eyes she loved so dearly watching her. "Hey, you." She smiled sweetly, reaching for him.

Pacey was hesitant, unsure she'd left her dream behind. "Hey, Potter."

Suddenly Joey was wide awake. "Uh, hey. Um, what are you doing here?"

Pacey grinned wolfishly. "Nice dream?" He had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing when she turned scarlet.

"Wha- what dream? I, uh, I don't remember." Joey stuttered.

Pacey could see she was in real distress and decided to let it go. "Bessie asked me to come up and check on you. You've been asleep for over four hours."

Joey was grateful for the reprieve. "Wow! I guess I was more exhausted than I thought." Pacey stepped back from the bed as she got up. Joey stretched again, blushing as her stomach grumbled.

Pacey laughed. "You gonna feed that thing?"

Joey gave him a shove. "Yes, if you'd stop talking and get out of my way."

"Yes, your majesty." Pacey bowed stepping out of her path.

They were both laughing when they got downstairs. Joey looked around. "Where is everyone?"

"Bessie and Bodie left about ten minutes ago. They're going out for a movie with Carson and Doug. The kids are in the living room, and your dinner is in the oven."

Joey blinked at him. "Well, seems you have everything pretty much under control, don't you?"

Pacey puffed up his chest dramatically. "That's why they leave me in charge."

"Yeah, that and you don't charge for babysitting."

Pacey grinned as he took the still warm plate out of the oven. "Ya know, your sister and my brother are both in for a surprise when they get my bills. Doug especially. Though I think the free room and board may cover him." He set Joey's dinner in front of her.

Joey looked at him questioningly.

"Oh yeah. Right, I forgot. I never got the chance to tell you." He pulled up the chair across the table. "Okay, I told you that Helen Walker left Carson a pretty big chunk of her estate, right?"

"To assuage the guilt for the way Harold treated her, yes." Joey mumbled around a mouthful of lasagna.

Pacey nodded. "Yeah. Well, it seems my big brother and your favourite cousin are planning on staying together."

Joey grinned. "Really? That's fantastic! Carson must be thrilled."

"Yeah, they're both on cloud nine. Anyways, they have decided to use part of the money Helen left Carson to buy a house. And guess who they've asked to come live with them on a permanent basis?"

Joey jumped up from her chair to throw herself at him. "Oh, Pacey, that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you!"

Pacey was lost. Holding her seemed to have a direct effect on his ability to think. "Yeah, I'm pretty psyched about it."

Joey stepped back, embarrassed by her display. She returned to her seat her face bright red. "So, ahem, so, what did you parents have to say about all this?" She looked up when she didn't receive and answer. "Pacey?"

He smiled sadly. "I'm not sure they even know."

"Well, don't you think you should ask them first, before you make any plans?" Joey didn't want him to get his hopes up only to have them dashed.

Pacey shrugged. "It's not an issue, Jo." He cleared his throat. "I found out today that Carrie went back to her husband."

"That's great. But I don't understand. Why aren't you moving home?"

"She went back to Gerry last week, Jo. Just before the accident."

Joey was silent, trying to digest what he had just told her. It couldn't be true. No one's parents could be so. . . "Did you talk to them, Pacey?" she asked softly.

"Yeah. They didn't seem to think the availability of my bedroom was something that should interest me." He shrugged again and stared at his hands. "They made it pretty clear they weren't interested in having me move home."

Once again Joey was by his side, this time she wrapped her arms around him and held him tight. "Oh, Pacey, I'm so sorry."

Pacey wrapped his arms around her waist, pressing his face against her warm body. This was what he needed. This woman, holding him, sharing her incredible strength with him. "I just wish I knew why. They're my parents! How can they hate me so much?" he whispered.

Joey ran her fingers through the soft curls at his nape. "It's their loss, Pacey. They're the ones who will never know how amazing their son is, what a wonderful caring sweet man they somehow managed to raise. Their loss is our gain."

Pacey tilted his face to look up at her. "You mean that?"

She stroked his cheek softly. "Every word."

Pacey couldn't tear his eyes away from hers. He stood, keeping his arms around her. "Jo. . ." He brought one hand up to cup her cheek.

Joey couldn't breathe. Everything she had ever dreamed of was in those beautiful blue eyes. She raise herself up on her toes and gently pressed her lips to his.

Pacey couldn't believe this was happening. Joey Potter, his Joey Potter, was kissing him, holding him. He met her chocolate gaze and smiled. Her eyes fluttered closed as she moved to kiss him again. And this time it was more, so much more.

He drew her further into his arms, deepening their contact. Joey seemed to approve. Twining her fingers in his hair, she pressed herself closer still as he gently slipped his tongue between her lips. It tangled with her's, teasing her, tasting her. His mouth hot and pliant as he moaned her name. Sighing, she returned his sweet, tender caresses. "Joey," he sighed running his hand up her spine.

Joey was lost in the sensations he was creating. This wasn't real. It was another dream. Any minute now someone would come into the room and wake her. Yet it felt so real. Different yet the same as the wondrous images that had been haunting her since the accident.

Pacey traced the contours of her back and waist, glorying in the experience of holding this woman in his arms. "Joey," he whispered again, pressing hot, wet kisses along her jaw line. "God, I love you."

Joey could feel the sting of tears behind her eyes. Now she was certain it was a dream. Only in her fantasy world would Pacey say those words to her. Suddenly she was ripped from her trance like state by the sound of her best friend's voice.

"Joey?"

Joey was slow to regain her senses. It took her a moment to realise she was in fact in her kitchen, in Pacey Witter's arms. It was real. All of it. The gentle touches and the tender confession. It was real! Oh, God! Dawson! Over Pacey's shoulder she saw the intense betrayal in her best friend's eyes just before he turned and fled the room. She looked up into Pacey's saddened blue eyes. "Pace?"

Pacey stepped out of her arms. Hanging his head in resignation he said, "Go."

Joey touched his chin gently. "Wait here for me." She tilted her head to make eye contact with him. "Please, Pacey. I have to talk to him."

Pacey's smile was forced. "Go. Talk to Dawson."

Joey searched his eyes for a clue as to how he was feeling. All she saw was resignation and sadness. "I promise, I won't be gone long." She stood on tiptoe to kiss him, smiled reassuringly and left.

Pacey couldn't remember ever feeling pain this intense. He should have known. It was always going to be Dawson. No matter what, he was never going to be number one in Joey's heart or mind. The worst part was he couldn't even slink away to lick his wounds. He had to watch Sarah and Alexander. Damn! He slammed his hand against the counter before heading into the living room. Maybe playing with the kids would help him get his mind off the fact that the woman he loved was right now trying to explain away their first kiss.

                         ~*~

Joey climbed the ladder up to Dawson's bedroom. She stood on the roof of the porch trying to catch her breath. She had a feeling she knew exactly how this encounter was going to go. She was determined that tonight would be different than the horrible night she remembered from her dreams. She took a fortifying breath and stepped into the bedroom. Dawson was standing staring at the Imagine poster on his wall. "Dawson, I -"

He spun to face her. "Don't! Don't try to explain. There is no way you can justify what I just saw."

Joey shook her head vehemently. "No, Dawson. I'm not going to try to *justify* what you just saw." She crossed her arms defiantly.

"Oh, really? You're not? Then why are you here, Joey? Are you planning on begging for my forgiveness? You didn't mean to do it? It just happened? Is that it? I'm supposed to forget I walked in on you kissing Pacey. Forget that my two best friends just betrayed me in the worst possible way."

Joey shook her head. She was trembling from head to toe. She closed her eyes for a moment to get her anger under control. She opened them to find Dawson staring at her expectantly. "No, Dawson," she began, "I have no intention of begging for forgiveness."

"Well that's good because I'm not so sure I can -"

"I have no intention of begging for forgiveness," she went on as though he hadn't spoken, " because I've done nothing wrong."

"You're kidding right?" Dawson exploded.

Joey put considerable effort into remaining calm. "No, Dawson, I promise, I'm dead serious," she declared coolly. "What exactly is it you think I should be begging forgiveness for?"

"You betrayed me!"

"How?" she returned. "How did I betray you? We haven't been together for almost a year, Dawson. By your choice I might add."

"So is that what this is. Revenge for turning you down?"

"Don't flatter yourself," Joey shot back. "Believe it or not, Dawson, there are things that happen in my life that have absolutely nothing to do with you. This is one of them."

"So, if you're not here to apologise then why are you here?"

"I don't know, Dawson, I thought maybe my best friend might want to talk to me about what just happened."

Dawson snorted. "If I really was your best friend I never would have walked in to find you in Pacey Witter's arms."

Joey shook her head. "One thing has absolutely nothing to do with the other, Dawson. The way I feel about Pacey has nothing to do with the way I feel about you and our friendship." Joey shivered at the memories those words conjured.

"Right now I'm not so sure we have a friendship."

Joey held up her hand, her whole body vibrating with anger. "You know what, Dawson? Don't. Don't try it. You are not going to like what will happen, believe me."

"What are you talking about, Joey? I'm not the one risking our friendship here."

"Yes, Dawson. You are. You're the one who is trying to make me chose between the boy who's been my best friend my entire life and the boy I love. And I won't let you do that to me." Joey's chin came up defiantly. "I love Pacey, Dawson. I love him. And tonight I found out he loves me too. That makes me incredibly happy. If you can't be happy for me then I'm sorry because I'm not going to give up what he and I can have just so you can have things your way." She went to the window. "You're my best friend, Dawson. Act like it." She climbed onto the roof leaving Dawson standing alone.

                         ~*~

Joey was surprised to see Bessie, Bodie, Carson and Doug in the living room when she got home. "Hey," she said uncertainly. "You're home early.

"The movie was dreadful so we left." Bessie stood and approached her sister. "Are you okay, Jo?"

Joey looked at them slightly confused. "I'm fine." She caught the look Carson was giving her. "What?" She then realised someone was missing. "Where's Pacey?"

"He left as soon as we got here," Carson answered.

"He what? Dammit, I told him to wait."

"What happened here tonight, Jojo?" Carson asked.

Joey looked at her cousin, curiously. Something in her tone was off. "What's wrong Carson?"

"You tell me. All I know is that we arrived here to find Pacey obviously upset. He bolted out of here so fast I didn't even get a chance to ask him what was wrong."

"Damn." Joey turned to her sister. "Bessie, I need to borrow the truck."

"What? Joey -"

"Please, Bess. I have to talk to him," Joey pleaded.

"You don't even know where he is," Bessie reasoned.

Joey shook her head. "I know exactly where he went."

                         ~*~

Pacey sat aboard True Love contemplating his future. He looked around him. It still surprised him how well she was turning out. All that hard work was paying off. The boat was something he could be proud of. The only problem was, he wasn't so sure he wanted to finish her now. Joey was such a huge part of her. Some of his favourite memories involved the two of them working together on True Love. Now he doubted if there would be any more such memories. He felt his chest tighten at the thought. How was he supposed to finish True Love when her inspiration was no longer a part of his life? He had no doubt Joey would chose Dawson. She always had. And he was certain Dawson would make sure he was no longer involved in their lives. He felt the pressure behind his eyes build at the thought of never being able to be close to Joey again. How was he going to cope when she shut him out in order to appease Dawson. How would he deal with losing her. His throat was beginning to ache with the effort to keep his tears at bay, when he heard a soft voice.

"Permission to come aboard?"

Pacey stood and looked over the side to find Joey smiling up at him. He let out a shuddering breath and whispered, "Permission granted."

Joey climbed the ladder up to the deck. "I thought you were going to wait at the house for me?"

Pacey shrugged. "I didn't feel like I was very good company. So when they all got back early I just. . ." Another shrug. "So. . ."

"So."

"Look, I know this is difficult but I'd rather just get it over with, okay. I know it's over."

Joey felt the tears well as her mind flashed to a scene similar to this one. The two of them and True Love. The devastating ache she'd felt walking away from him. Leaving behind everything she truly needed. The crushing pain she's seen in his expressive eyes as she'd agreed with him that it was over. The setting was similar but tonight would be different. This time she was not going to end the night alone and in tears. "Nothing is over Pacey. Especially not us." She saw the hope flare in his eyes. "Let's sit down." She led him into the boat's half finished cabin. "I need to tell you a little story."

                         ~*~

Dawson answered the door and was more than a bit surprise to find Carson Potter on his front porch. "Can I come in?" She pushed past him before he could answer. "Thanks."

Dawson hung his head, resigning himself to the lecture he was sure she was there to deliver. "What can I do for you, Carson?"

"Well, you can start by explaining to me what you're trying to accomplish here. Just who the hell do you think you are, Dawson?"

"You know what, Carson? I really don't want to hear a lecture on the wonders of Pacey Witter, okay?" He started to walk away.

"He loves her, Dawson." Carson stated quietly. "But he'd walk away if that was what it would take to make her happy. Can you say the same?"

Dawson couldn't move. How dare she try to compare his lifelong relationship with Joey to some hormonal overload of Pacey's. "You don't have a clue what you're talking about, Carson."

"I know he loves her. And I'm pretty sure she loves him. Now to me, that sounds like a good thing."

"I don't want to see Joey get hurt." Dawson said, self righteously.

"Oh, well, then just as long as you're only thinking of Joey." Carson sneered sarcastically. "Don't pull that crap with me, Dawson. Both Pacey and Joey deserve a lot more than derision and scorn from you. If you're half the friend you purport yourself to be then you will get down off your bruised ego and wounded feelings and be happy that two people you care about have found some happiness together."

"I think you should leave, Carson." She shook her head in disappointment and turned to leave. "Oh, and Carson?" She turned back hopefully. "Next time tell Pacey to fight his own damn battles." Dawson closed the door securely in her face.

                         ~*~

"So we sailed away and lived happily ever after?" Pacey whispered almost reverently.

Joey nodded. "We were on our way back up the coast when I woke up."

"And we were happy?"

Joey moved to kneel in front of his chair. "We were perfect." She reached up and brushed a stray tear from his cheek.

Pacey pulled her up into his arms. "God, Jo!" He clasped her tightly. He was having a hard time assimilating it all. Joey wanted to be with him! Dawson had issued his ultimatum and she chose him! He smiled into her hair. And that dream! He would never be grateful for the accident. But would Joey have realised her love for him if it hadn't been for that incredible dream? How long would he have had to continue loving her in silence if it hadn't happened? And how would she have handled Dawson if she hadn't already seen the havoc his ultimatum would create? No, he would never be grateful for the accident, but he could still thank the fates for the events that brought them together. He pressed a feather-soft kiss on the side of her neck. "I love you," he whispered reverently.

Joey pulled back slightly so she could see his eyes. "And I love you." She smiled shyly. "You have no idea how much."

Pacey kissed her then. Slowly, gently, taking his time to learn her taste, the feel of her velvety lips as they clung to his. Their kisses grew more fevered, more passionate their tongues battling for dominance as they lost themselves in each other. As Joey reached for the buttons of his shirt Pacey could feel his control slipping away. He broke the kiss, panting and shaking. "God!"

Joey shivered in his arms. "Why did you stop?"

Pacey brushed her hair from her face. "Because. Even though you may have a dream memory of us aboard this boat and of the relationship we built on our trip, none of it is true." He held up a finger to silence her protests. "I am *not* going to screw this up, Jo. I can't. It would kill me. We have all the time in the world to get to the point we were at in your dream. To build real memories. To build a real life together. And I promise it will be better than any dream."

Joey smiled up at him her eyes filled with love and tears. "Have I mentioned that I think you're wonderful?"

"Yeah, well, it's about time you figured it out." He ducked as she took a playful swing at him. "Hey watch it, woman! Don't damage the merchandise."

"Shut up and kiss me, Witter." Joey shifted and twisted until she was comfortably settled in his arms.

"Yes, dear."

Jen felt her jaw drop when she saw Pacey and Joey enter the school hand in hand. "Well, well, well," she laughed as they approached her. "Look who got all brave."

"Hi, Jen," Joey said shyly when they reached her locker.

"So, spill. When did the blessed event take place?" she teased.

"Shut up, Lindley. And please don't pretend you didn't see this coming," Pacey retorted, his smile growing even broader.

"From a mile away, my friend. From a mile away." She nodded to indicate the joined hands. "So, I take it this is up for public scrutiny?"

Joey shrugged and said knowingly, "Subterfuge is seriously over rated."

Jen's smile wavered. "But what about -" Just then Dawson rounded the corner. He stopped in his tracks stared at them for a moment then spun on his heel and took off down the hall.

Pacey sighed, exasperated. "Well, as you can see Dawson is already privy to the changes in our relationship. And he isn't really in a supportive mood."

"Ah, yes. Well, you can't tell me you expected his endorsement."

"No. But it would have been nice if he didn't see this as a personal attack." Joey said angrily.

"But that's just Dawson. He has trouble seeing things from any perspective other than the way they affect him. If it feels bad to Dawson, it's bad. And unfortunately for you guys that means you are on the receiving end of a tantrum," Jen sympathised. "Don't worry. He'll get over it. Eventually."

Joey's smile was sad. "I hope so."

Jen perked up. "But hey, can I just say that *I* am thrilled for you guys. both of you."

Pacey grinned as he pressed a kiss to Joey's temple. "Me too."

They all laughed until something caught Jen's eye. "I think we may be in the minority." She nodded at something behind them.

Pacey and Joey turned to find Andie staring at them open mouthed. Pacey took a step toward her. "Andie -"

She shook her head as though trying to banish the sight of them together.

Pacey took another step. "Andie, I'm -"

Andie hook her head again. "No," she sobbed then turned and ran out the doors.

Pacey looked at Joey. "Go," was all she said.

He smiled his thanks then followed his ex-girlfriend out the front doors of the school.

Jen watched Joey watch Pacey. "Does that bother you?"

Joey scrunched her face up. "Would you believe me if I said no?"

"Nope."

Joey laughed. "Didn't think so." She shrugged. "It doesn't, really. It's not like she's going to talk him out of being with me. I just hope she doesn't say anything to make him doubt me, or more importantly, himself."

"As long as he knows you're here waiting for him I think he'll be okay." Jen linked her arm through Joey's. "You know, Miss Potter, I have the strangest feeling you two are going to be just fine. No matter *what* Dawson and Andie may pull."

Joey straightened her shoulders and grinned. "I think you may be right Miss Lindley." They sauntered off to class arm in arm.

Pacey caught up with Andie in the parking lot. "Andie wait. Stop!"

Andie whirled on him. "You know what, Pacey, I don't want to hear it." She started back toward her car.

Pacey grabbed her arm. "Too bad."

Andie shrugged him off angrily. "Let go of me!"

"Dammit, Andie! Stop it! I just want to explain."

She spun to face him. "What's to explain, Pacey? You obviously had no trouble moving on."

"Hold it. I'm all for rewriting history but let's not forget you moved on long before I did. In fact you moved on before while we were still together." Pacey hated to hurt her but he was not going to let her play the victim here.

Andie gasped at the unexpected attack. "Don't try to turn this on me, Pacey. I'm not the bad guy this time."

"And who is, Andie? Me? Joey? Why is that? What exactly have we done other than fall in love?"

Andie snorted. "Love? Is that what this is? Please. What do you think is going to happen when Dawson finds out, Pacey? She'll go running back to him so fast your head will spin. She will never love you the way she loves him. You're setting yourself up to get hurt." Andie's anger had given way to tears.

Pacey felt his own anger melt away. "That's not true Andie. Dawson found out about us about three seconds after we did. He and Joey had it out last night. He gave her what amounted to a him or me ultimatum and she chose me. She chose me, Andie." Pacey still couldn't quite believe it.

Andie's tears were falling freely now. "I hope you're right, Pacey, I really do." She sniffled and tried to get herself under control. "I really have to go, okay?"

Pacey nodded, understanding her need to be alone to nurse her wounds. "Bye Andie." He watched sadly as she walked away. This was even harder than he'd thought. He was startled by a soft voice behind him.

"You okay, baby?"

He turned to find concern in Carson's green eyes. "I'll be fine. I'm just sorry we're hurting them."

"Baby, I know they're your friends, and I know they're having a really tough time with this. But what you and Joey feel is important too. You love each other. That isn't something to be taken lightly. Treasure it. It's precious. But most of all enjoy it. Being in love is fun." She grinned evilly at him.

Pacey rolled his eyes. "Okay, that's just waaay too much information."

Carson laughed and took his hand, leading him back to the school. "Fine. Pick on me. Just remember who you're going to be living with, PJ."

"Ewww Carson. . ." he whined dramatically.

Carson laughed at his antics. "You're still a brat you know that?"

"That's why you love me."

"See I knew there had to be a good reason." They stopped at the school doors. "I'll see you later, baby." Carson stood on tiptoe and pulled him down so she could kiss his cheek.

"Why *are* you here, Car?" he asked realising she had just appeared at the school.

"I'm here to speak to your principal about a teaching position that will be open this fall."

"You're kidding!"

"I am a teacher, Pacey. I'm on leave from my old school for the semester. But if I am going to be moving here I am going to need a job."

"Who's leaving?"

"What?"

"The position that's opening up, who's leaving?"

"Oh. Someone's retiring. I don't know the name."

Pacey groaned.

"What?"

"Mrs. Dempster. She's the only English teacher even close to retirement age."

"So what's the problem?"

"Mrs. Dempster is everyone's favourite, and I was kinda looking forward to having her for English next year."

Carson realised what he was saying. "You'll be in my class."

"I'll be in your class."

"That should be interesting." She smiled at him reassuringly. "I promise to be just as good as Mrs. Dempster."

Pacey's grin turned wicked. "And I promise not to treat you any differently than I do my other teachers."

"And I'll hang you from the flagpole," she threatened merrily.

Pacey let out a bark of laughter and grabbed her in a bear hug. "Damn I missed you."

Carson squeezed him back just as tight. "I missed you too, baby." She swatted him on the backside. "Now get to class before I report you for unnecessary tardiness."

Pacey stuck his tongue out at her. "Bully." He jumped out of the way as she moved to swat him again. "Bye, Car," he yelled as he sprinted down the hall.

                         ~*~

Joey entered the cafeteria warily. She hadn't seen Pacey since that morning and was hoping he'd be - And there he was. "Hello, Josephine." He placed a quick kiss on her lips. "How was your morning?"

Joey heaved a sigh of relief. "Don't call me that or I'll eviscerate you." She took his proffered hand as they joined the lunch line. "My morning was good. Completely uneventful. Just the way I like it. How 'bout you?"

Pacey shrugged. "Some bad some good." He grabbed them each a sandwich and juice.

Joey chewed on her lip, trying to decide how best to approach the situation.

Pacey let her off the hook. "I talked to Andie. She's upset, but I don't think she hates us."

Joey could actually feel the tension leave her body. "Thank god. I don't think I could handle having any more of my friends hate -" she broke off suddenly, staring across the room.

Pacey turned to see what had grabbed her attention. Damn, this was awkward. Dawson was just joining Jen, Henry, Jack and Andie at a table. He stole a look at Joey's face. "What do you want to do, Jo?"

"Well, I think we should go sit with our friends, just like we always do." She smiled at him. "I refuse to avoid them just because Dawson's acting like a spoiled three year old." She grabbed his hand. "Let's go."

Dawson was listening to Jack and Henry replay the football season when suddenly everyone at the table fell silent. He looked up to see Joey and Pacey approaching them through the crowded cafeteria. He frowned and grumbled, "I can't believe the nerve of those two."

"What are you talking about, Dawson?" Jen asked, though she had a pretty good idea she wasn't going to like his answer.

"I would think common decency would prevent them from asking to sit with us." Dawson answered self-righteously.

Jen snorted. "What makes you think they're going to *ask*? For that matter why should they?"

"As I said, common decency -"

"Get off it, man. We sit together almost every day. Why would today be any different?" Jack challenged.

Dawson stood, gathering his things. "Fine. You want to sit here and pretend that nothing has changed, that there are no consequences for their actions, you go right ahead. You'll have to excuse me for thinking you guys were my friends."

Jen stood quickly. "Dawson, sit down and shut up!" she snapped

Dawson stared at her incredulously. "Excuse me?"

"I said, sit down and shut up. You know damn well we're your friends. We also happen to be Pacey and Joey's friends." She softened her tone. "I know this is hard for you, Dawson. But we have all been friends for a long time now and I for one refuse to choose between you and them and I'd really appreciate it if you didn't ask me to."

"But "

"Hey," Pacey said as they reached the table. He looked at his friends' faces. Obviously they had interrupted something.

"Hey, guys," Jen said brightly.

"Mind if we join you?" Pacey asked hesitantly.

"Of course not. You don't even have to ask." Andie said as she moved over to make room for the newcomers.

Joey flashed her a grateful smile. Andie smiled in return. "Hi, Joey."

"Hi, Andie."

Andie's smile wavered slightly. "Pacey tells me congratulations are in order."

Joey nodded, reluctant to talk about her and Pacey with Dawson glaring at her from across the table.

Andie saw Joey's hesitation and changed the subject. "So, what's everyone doing for spring break?"

Dawson's head shot up and he smiled rather unpleasantly. "Well, I did have plans but recent events have caused me to reconsider." He glared at Joey, challenging her to contradict him.

Joey's chin went up defiantly. "Have you called Aunt Gwen to tell her we won't be coming?"

Dawson was shocked. "No, not yet."

"Well don't you think you should? She may want to make other plans."

Dawson stood. "You're right, I should." He stalked out of the cafeteria.

Joey sighed. "Well I handled that well."

Pacey placed his hand over hers on the table. "He just needs time, Jo."

"I hope you're right, Pace." She smiled at him before turning to the other. "So what do you guys have planned for the holiday?"

                         ~*~

Joey stood a few yards from True Love watching Pacey work. They had agreed to meet at the boat after dinner and she was a few minutes early. She enjoyed seeing him here. He put so much time, effort and love into the boat. It was wonderful to see it all coming together. He was sanding the deck when he looked up and saw her. He grinned happily and waved. "Hey, Potter. Come on up."

She climbed the ladder and joined him on deck. "So, how did house hunting go?"

"What, no kiss hello?" Pacey pouted playfully.

Joey gave him a peck on the cheek. "Hello. How was house hunting?" she asked with a smirk.

Pacey stuck his lip out further. "I'm starting to think you may not be all that happy to see me, Joey."

Joey let out a put upon sigh. "Fine." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "Hello, Pacey," she whispered huskily before claiming his lips for a slow sensuous kiss. When she finally released him he was wide eyed and speechless. She sauntered over to sit on the rail. "So, houses?"

Pacey cleared his throat, trying to get his now buzzing body under control. "Have I mentioned that I think you're evil?"

Joey giggled. "I know."

"Come here you." He grabbed her and pulled her into his lap. They were both laughing as she fought him halfheartedly. He silenced her laughter with another kiss.

When they finally came up for air, she settled into his arms, enjoying being close to him. "Are you going to tell me about the houses you guys looked at or do I have to go ask my cousin?"

Pacey shook his head. "Definitely tenacious." He kissed the side of her neck. "We saw a couple that we all liked. Lots of space, close to a school for Sarah, big yard, the whole bit. We have a few more to look at tomorrow, but I'm pretty sure they're going to buy the last one we saw today."

"What's it like?"

"Nice, very nice. Lots of room, huge yard. It's the big pale yellow one on Greybriar."

"The one with the porch?"

"Yeah. Doug fell in love with the kitchen and Car liked that it had a nice big family room. Plus, it's only a block and a half from Andrews Elementary, so that's good for Sarah."

"What about you? Did you like it?"

"It's great. Really cool inside. The best part is, It's almost like having my own apartment. Doug said I could have the whole basement if I liked. Which means not only a bedroom but my own living area too."

Joey smiled up at him. "Sounds great. And it's nice and close to my house."

"Really? I hadn't noticed." He grinned at her as she tried to smack him. "Seriously though. It was kinda nice that they asked my opinion about the whole thing."

"You're going to be living there too, Pace."

"That's exactly what Carson said."

"See, we Potter girls are smart."

"Or something." She pinched his side causing him to cry foul.

"Hey, that's gonna leave a mark!"

"Don't be a baby." Her laughter faded to a moan as he nipped her earlobe. "So you think this living arrangement is going to work out?" she asked as he worked his way from her ear, down to her neck.

Pacey stopped what he was doing and looked at her with wonder in his eyes. "For the first time I feel like I have a real family. One that actually wants me around." He kissed her softly. I'm beginning to wonder if this isn't all some amazingly perfect fantasy."

"Why?"

"Think about it. I have, for the first time in my life, a real home. Carson and Doug may not be my parents but at least they love me and want me around. And best of all I have you." He kissed her again. "I'd convinced myself that no matter how I felt about you, you would never see me as anything other than Pacey Witter, pain in the ass. Now look at us. I get to hold you and kiss you. And you didn't threatened me with bodily harm when I said I loved you." Another kiss. "I do, bye the way, love you that is."

Joey raised his hand to her lips and placed a tender kiss on his palm. "I love you too, Pacey." She grinned at him. "Do you think we'll get to sail off into the sunset like we did in my dream? 'Cause I have to admit I kinda like the idea."

"You know, Potter, that whole dream scenario really doesn't do a lot for this whole cynical teen schtick you've got going. Seems to be more of a hopeless romantic kinda thing."

"Bite me, Pacey."

"My pleasure, Josephine."

The end Never, Neverland

I would love to hear what you think.

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Author's notes: I have to say many many thank yous to my wonderful beta reader/editor, Natasha. She is the wonderful person who makes me appear literate. And to Evie for being a great cheerleader.