Title: Never, Neverland part 4/10
Author: Kjiara
Author's E-Mail: kayjay@sunwave.net
Category: PJR
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Season three
Archive: Yes, just give credit where due
Feedback: Makes my day!
http://www.geocities.com/kjiara
Disclaimer: I don't own any of 'em.
Summary: What if Cinderella Story had a slightly different ending?



Never, Neverland part 4/10
by Kjiara

Joey had to smile at the banner hanging above the door of the Bed
and Breakfast.  WELCOME HOME JOEY, GET WELL SOON!  This had to be
Dawson's work.  And sure enough, there he was, standing on the
porch grinning at her.  She shook her head at him.  "You do
realise, Dawson, that I have only been gone five days?" she
cracked as Pacey helped her up the stairs.

Dawson shrugged good-naturedly.  "I know.  I just wanted to make
sure you know how happy I am that you're going to be okay."

She stopped beside him and took his hand.  "Thank you."

His smile brightened.  "You're welcome."  He finally realised who
was with her.  "Hey, I thought you said Bodie was picking you up
from the hospital?" he said, a slight edge to his voice, as he
followed them into the house.

Joey shrugged.  "He was going to.  Then Pacey said he wanted to.
So, here we are."  She smiled at the taller boy.  "Though I *was*
a bit surprised my sister let me get into a car with him again,"
she teased.

"Yeah?  Well, I have two words for you, Potter: You and walking." 

Joey showed him her ha-ha face as Bessie came into the room
holding Alexander "I'd start apologising now, Joey," she said
handing the baby to Pacey and hugged her sister.  "It's so good to
have you home." 

Joey returned the embrace, knowing how worried Bessie had been. 
"Well, I'm going to be fine.  You heard the doctor.  As long as
you all wait on me hand and foot for the next little while I
should be able to make a complete recovery," she said imperiously.

Everyone laughed.  "Well, Your Majesty, may I start by assisting
you to your boudoir?"  Pacey bowed before her and extended his
hand.

Joey placed her hand in his with a curtsy.  "You may."  They were
both giggling by the time they reached the stairs.

Bessie shook her head, smiling at their nonsense.  "I swear, that
boy. . .  I've never heard her laugh as much as she has since
they've been spending time together."

Dawson arched an eyebrow at her.  "Pacey?  Please, he's more
likely to make her homicidal than happy."

"You really haven't been around much, have you, Dawson?  Pacey has
brought his own special brand of sunshine and silliness to us this
year.  I don't know what she would have done without him."  Bessie
smiled at the boy who had been a part of her sister's life for as
long as she could remember.  "He's really come through for her
when she's needed him, for both of us." 

Dawson said nothing.  He just smiled weakly.  He *had* noticed how
different Joey and Pacey's relationship was.  How close they
seemed.  How readily she leaned on Pacey.  How easy it was for her
to let Pacey help her.  Had she *ever* been that way with him? 
Dawson didn't think so.  In fact she had always been very hesitant
to lean on him or to ask for his help.  Why?  What made things so
different with Pacey?  He reminded himself to take Pacey aside
later and ask him about Joey's earlier comments about falling in
love.

Dawson's musings were interrupted by the arrival of Carson Potter. 
She was struggling to get through the front door, carrying two
suitcases and a sleeping little girl.  "Carson, here let me get
that."  He hurried forward to take the suitcases from her.

Carson heaved a sigh of relief.  "Thanks, Dawson."  She adjusted
the sleeping child.  "She takes forever to fall asleep in her bed
but the *minute* I get her in the car. . ."  She stroked the dark
curls back from the sweet face.  "Is Bessie around?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec.  I'll get her."  Dawson headed to the back
of the house.

"Hey, Bess?  You got any apple juice?  Her highness is having a
cra -" Pacey reached the bottom of the stairs and stopped in his
tracks.  "Carson?"

Carson froze.  She couldn't move.  This couldn't be happening. 
"Pacey," she said weakly.  "What are you doing here?"

"I brought Joey home from the hospital.  I was just tucking her
in."  He moved closer to her.  "Car, who's this?" he asked
indicating the sleeping child.

Before Carson could answer, the girl began to stir.  "Mommy?" she
murmured sleepily.  She lifted her head from her mother's shoulder
and turned to regard Pacey. 

Pacey found himself looking into very familiar blue eyes.  The
same eyes he saw in the mirror each day.  The same eyes he saw
whenever he looked at his brother.  "Carson?"

Carson winced at his icy tone.  She had never heard Pacey speak to
her that way.  She took a deep breath.  "Pacey, I'd like you to
meet my daughter, Sarah.  Sarah, honey, this is your Uncle Pacey."

Sarah peeked at him through her lashes.  "Hi."

Pacey smiled at her.  "Hello, Sarah.  I am very happy to meet
you."  He couldn't stop staring at her.  She was the very image of
Doug at that age.  "Carson?"  He tried again.

Carson held up her hand.  "Can we not do this right now Pacey?"
she pleaded, casting a significant look at Sarah.

Pacey nodded.  "We *will* talk later though." He didn't want to
upset the little girl any more than her mother did.  But god. . . 
Doug was going to have a heart attack.  Shit!  Carson couldn't
expect him to keep this from his brother could she?  That wasn't
fair.  Not to him, not to Doug, but especially not to Sarah.  She
deserved to know her father.

Carson breathed a sigh of relief for the reprieve, however
temporary.  She was not looking forward to explaining to Pacey why
she had kept Sarah a secret from her father.

"Oh good, you're here."  Bessie came bustling into the room
followed closely by Dawson.  "And this little angel must be Sarah. 
Hi, sweetie.  How are you?"  Sarah smiled at Bessie and Bessie
gasped.  "My god, Carson.  She looks exactly like -" she censored
herself, remembering who was in the room.  Bessie could feel the
tension radiating off both Pacey and Carson.  She knew they needed
some privacy.  She reached for Sarah.  "Do you want to come with
me Sarah?  Come see my little boy?"  Sarah nodded and took
Bessie's hand  "He's your cousin.  He's pretty little yet but he
has some nice toys he'll share with you.  Would you like that?" 
She kept up the chatter as she started from the room.  On her way
by she grabbed Dawson.  "C'mon, Dawson.  You come play too." 

Dawson shot Bessie a look that clearly said he thought she was
nuts.  He opened his mouth to tell her so when the look she shot
back stopped the words in his throat.  Better to do what she said. 
They left the room.

Pacey was doing laps of the living room, his hands fisted at his
sides.  Carson could see he was working very hard at getting his
temper under control so she let him be.  Better he have it
together before they had what was bound to be a very unpleasant
conversation.  He paced for a few more minutes then finally took a
deep breath and sat on the couch.  "You want to tell me why you
left?"

Carson was a bit taken aback by the question.  It wasn't the one
she had been expecting.  "I - I, um," she stuttered.

"I'm assuming you knew you were pregnant when you left.  I just
wanted to know why.  I always thought you and Doug fought.  He was
a jerk and you left him.  It's not quite that simple, is it?"

Carson shook her head.  "No, Pacey, it's not."  She squeezed her
eyes tightly shut before opening them to look directly into his. 
This was the hardest part.  "PJ, I want you to promise me you
won't feel bad.  It's very important to me that you know that this
was in no way your fault.  Okay?"

Pacey nodded, hesitantly.  "Oh-kay."

Carson drew a deep breath trying to bolster her courage.  "The day
I found out I was pregnant, I went to your parents place.  We were
supposed to be having a family barbeque.  I was terrified.  I had
no idea how Doug was going to react.  We'd talked about kids but
they were meant to be way in the future, *after* we were married. 
But I knew he loved me so I thought he would be happy about the
baby."

"Doug knew?" Pacey asked, shocked.

Carson shook her head.  "No, I never told him."

"I don't get it.  Why not?"

"When I got there, your dad had been drinking.  He was on your
case.  I can't even remember what about.  But it was typical and I
hated it."

Pacey smiled at her.  Also remembering.  Remembering how, when it
got to be too much at home he could run to her and always know
that someone loved him, that someone thought he was a great kid.

Carson continued.  "It got pretty bad.  I had never been so close
to interfering when he finally stopped and told you to get lost. 
I followed you into the house figuring you were going to need a
good shoulder when I heard you talking to Doug.  At first I
thought, or hoped, that he was comforting you after your fight
with your dad."  Pacey rolled his eyes at the absurdity of that
statement.  Carson shrugged.  "Then I realised you two were
fighting too.  He was yelling at you about disappointing your dad. 
How every time he turned around you had done something else to
prove to your father how worthless you were.  How hard you made it
for the others, trying to overcome your father's immense
disappointment in you."  Her voice cracked and she stopped to
gather herself.  "He went on and on.  Telling a child he was
worthless.  And you were a child.  Just eleven-years-old."  She
stopped again, unable to continue.

Pacey knew.  He knew why she had never told Doug about the baby,
why she had felt the need to leave town.  Taking her child away
from its father.  "You were afraid that if he'd treat one child
like that, he'd treat your child that way too."  It wasn't a
question.

Carson nodded, tears streaming down her face..  "All I could see
was me, a few years down the road, trying to explain to our baby
why his daddy didn't like him."  She sobbed.

Pacey came to sit beside her.  He remembered having that same
conversation with her when he was nine.  "No, Car.  It would never
have happened."  He put his arm around her.  "Do you remember what
he was like with the girls?  He adored them, doted on them.  God,
Gretchen thought the sun rose and set on her big brother."

"I know that, Pacey.  But -"

Pacey shook his head.  "You have to realise, Car, that my dad was
hard on Doug.  It looked different because Doug and I reacted
differently to it.  I rebelled, rejected his idea of what and who
I should be.  Doug worked his *ass* off trying to be everything my
father expected him to be.  Terrified at every turn he was going
to disappoint the old man and have to hear what a failure he was."

Carson shook her head vigorously.  "That's no excuse for -"

"I agree.  There is no excuse for child abuse, and I don't kid
myself that it was anything else.  But for Doug it was all about
fear.  And I think maybe a bit of jealousy that I'd stand up to
the bastard."

"He should have taken you out of there.  He was an adult and your
big brother.  He should have helped you," Carson argued.

"Maybe you're right.   Maybe he should have.  But I still think he
was doing the best he could to survive being John Witter's golden
son."  He gently turned her to face him.  "And, Car, he's making
up for it now.  He's being a big brother to me for the first time
in our lives.  I have finally gotten to know my brother and I
truly believe he'd be a good father."  He smiled softly at her. 
"He deserves a chance to prove you wrong.  And Sarah deserves to
know her daddy."

Carson broke down completely, sobbing in Pacey's arms.  "I was so
afraid."

"I know, I know."  Pacey was stroking her hair and making soothing
noises when a movement by the stairs caught his eye.  "Jo?"

Joey stepped forward.  Her eyes filled with tears.  "I'm sorry, I
didn't man to eavesdrop.  You were gone o long I just 
wondered. . ."

Carson lifted her head from Pacey's shoulder.  "It's okay, Joey,"
she reassured her cousin.  "You're family."  She straightened
completely, gathering herself.  "I should go check on Sarah.  Make
sure she has locked Bessie in a closet or something."  She grinned
half-heartedly and hurried from the room.

Pacey turned to Joey.  "How much of that did you hear?"

Joey came to sit next to him.  "Quite a bit.  Do you think she'll
tell him?"

Pacey shrugged.  "I don't know.  I hope so.  I really don't want
to keep this from him.  He should know he has a daughter."

Joey took his hand.  "Are you okay?"

"Me?  Why wouldn't I be?"

"Pacey, I know how hard it is for you to deal with your
relationship with your father.  Hearing all that can't have been
easy."

"My dad and I are working on it.  Things are better, you know
that.  I just hate reliving the past.  It's over and done with. 
It's time to move on."

Joey nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.  "I think so too.  No sense
living in the past when the future has so much more to offer."

Their eyes locked and held for the longest time.  Each lost in
thought.  Joey *remembering* a romantic adventure at sea.  Pacey
praying for just one chance.  Finally Pacey broke the silence. 
"And people say you're dumb."  He smirked, trying to hide his
discomfort.  He ducked to avoid the cushion she tossed at him. 
"Hey!  What are you doing down her anyway?  You're supposed to
stay in bed, young lady."

"Seems to me a girl could perish of thirst with the untrustworthy
help we've got around here," she said dramatically.

Pacey grinned.  "One apple juice, coming up.  But only if you get
back to bed."  

Joey stood too quickly, swaying on her feet.  "Whoa."

Pacey caught her in his arms.  "Steady there.  You okay?" he
asked, worried.

Joey nodded, smiling weakly.  "I'm fine.  I just stood too fast." 
She made no move to leave his arms.  How was it possible for this
to feel so right, so familiar.  Pacey rarely touched her, let
alone held her.  Flashes from her dream once again invaded her
reality.  Pictures of nights spent in these arms, of waking in
them each morning.  She sighed and relaxed into his embrace.

Pacey was reluctant to breathe, let alone move.  He was holding
Joey Potter.  She was in his arms and making no effort whatsoever
to leave.  He felt her sigh and relax, tightening her hold on him. 
He was certain he was tasting a piece of heaven.

Their moment was broken when Dawson came into the room.  "Hey,
Pacey, Carson said you -" He stopped abruptly when he saw his
friends.  "I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" he asked, he tone ice
cold.

Joey moved reluctantly from Pacey's arms.  "No, of course not.  I
just felt a bit dizzy, that's all.  I think I need to lie down."

Pacey swallowed the lump in his throat.  "C'mon, let's get you
back to bed."  He took her arm and they went upstairs.

Dawson stayed below, staring at the spot where they had stood.  It
hadn't looked like he was helping her, it had looked like they
were holding each other.  And Joey hadn't looked like she planned
on leaving anytime soon.  Dawson felt something tighten in his
chest.  They couldn't.  They wouldn't.  Pacey was his best friend,
he knows how he feels about Joey.  As for Joey. . .  Dawson
thought about it for a moment then laughed to himself.  It was
preposterous.  Joey would never fall for someone like Pacey.  It
didn't really even bear consideration.  Obviously she was feeling
worse than he had thought if she was willing to let Pacey hold her
like that.  Dawson smiled, there was nothing to worry about.

The End Never, Neverland part 4/10

I would love to hear what you think.

kayjay@sunwave.net