Title: Never, Neverland part 3/10
Author: Kjiara
Author's E-Mail: kayjay@sunwave.net
Category: PJR
Rating: PG-13
Spoilers: Season three
Archive: Yes, just give credit where due
Feedback: Makes my day!
http://www.geocities.com/kjiara
Disclaimer: I don't own any of 'em.
Summary: What if Cinderella Story had a slightly different ending?



Never, Neverland part 3/10
by Kjiara

Joey couldn't remember ever feeling as lost as she did right then. 
Every time she closed her eyes she saw another *memory* of her
time with Pacey aboard True Love, or of their struggle to be
together before Dawson and the others found out.  She felt a sharp
tightening in her chest every time she relived Dawson's reaction
to what he saw as her perfidy.  She wanted to believe that the
dream was an exaggeration, that the real Dawson would only want
her happiness and would support her in finding it, but she was
having a difficult time selling herself on the idea.

She had told Bessie about the dream, asking her what she thought
it meant.  Bessie's answer had been typically ambiguous, and not a
whole lot of help.  Telling Joey that she was sure she could
figure out for herself what the dream meant hadn't been the answer
the younger woman had been looking for.

How was she supposed to figure out how to deal with the fact that
she could still taste his lips on hers.  Feel the steel of his
body and the silk of his skin when he made love to her.  Hear him
whisper, "I love you" as they lay together in the early morning. 
Feel the ocean breeze in her hair as he spun fantastic and
ridiculous stories about sea monsters to help alleviate the
monotony of long days at sea.  Not realising that the time spent
in his arms was barrier enough against boredom.  How did she deal
with the fact that she now knew she was in love with Pacey Witter
and had not a single clue as to how he felt about her.  

"Ahhh!"  Joey through the small stuffed bear she had been
squeezing against the far wall.

"Well, tell me what he did to piss you off so I know what to
avoid," Pacey cracked, poking his head around the door.

Joey blushed furiously.  Just the sight of him brought back more
than a few rather tantalizing memories.

"You okay, Jo?"  Pacey asked concerned as he approached the bed. 
"You look a little flushed."  He reached out for her forehead and
Joey pulled away as though burned.  He let his hand drop, hurt
clouding his eyes.

"I'm fine," Joey sputtered trying to regain her control along with
her dignity.  "It's just a bit warm in here."

Pacey took in the goose bumps raised on her arms and nodded
indulgently,.  "Oh-kay. . .  So, Jo, other than being 
overheated -" He stopped, seeing the panicked look on her face. 
"Joey?  What the hell's with you?  You look like you're going to
pass out.  Should I get a doctor?"  He reached for her again and
this time she let him touch her flaming face, his gentle touch
cool against her burning skin.

"I'm fine, Pacey," she whispered.  "Just a little tired."

Pacey nodded and absently brushed her hair back from her face, he
had seen her inability to make eye contact.  "Jo?"

"Hmm?"  She responded languidly, enjoying his touch and the
beautiful memories it evoked.

"Did I do something to upset you?" Pacey asked, feeling more than
a little confused.  He'd never seen her like this.

Joey snapped back to reality.  "What?  No, of course not.  Why do
you ask?"  She moved slightly breaking their contact.

"I'm not sure.  Maybe because you have yet to make eye contact
with me today."

She looked up into his eyes.  "Don't be ridiculous, Pacey.  Of
course I have," she said just a bit too defensively.

Pacey watched as her gaze skittered away again.  "Joey, if I did
something, tell me.  I need to know."

Joey gave a short laugh.  "Why so you can *apologise*?" she
snorted.

Pacey looked offended.  "Why, is it so far beyond the realm of
belief that I would apologise if I hurt or upset you?" he asked,
hurt by her inference.

Joey realised she had actually wounded him this time.  She grabbed
his hand, ignoring the tingling sensation that ran up her arm. 
"You don't have to apologise, when you haven't done anything
wrong."  She squeezed his hand and was gratified to feel him
squeeze back.

"So, we're okay?"

Joey nodded anxiously, needing him to drop the subject of her odd
behaviour before she threw herself into his arms and begged him to
kiss her silly.  "So, you never did tell me, what exactly
happened."  She changed the subject rather abruptly.

Pacey hesitated a moment not quite sure what to make of her rather
erratic behaviour and decided to chalk it up to the head injury. 
"We were almost home.  Just at the entering Capeside sign?"  She
nodded.  "You were telling me what a complete imbecile college boy
was."  She smiled at him gratefully.  "Suddenly there was someone
else in our lane, I didn't have time to do anything but swerve. 
He caught the front of the truck."

"How did I hurt my head?"

Pacey shivered remembering waking up in the truck and receiving no
answer when he called her name.  "You hit your head on the side
window."  He grinned evilly at her to cover the agony this memory
conjured up.  "Shattered the glass."

Joey swatted him gently.  "What happened to the other driver?"

"Doug was more than happy to arrest him on several charges,
including, but not exclusive to, driving under the influence.  In
fact he was still adding to the list when I spoke to him last."

"Good.  I hope they throw away the key."

"Me too, Jo.  Me too."  Once again Pacey felt the chills he'd
experienced while waiting for help to arrive.  He hadn't been able
to get to her, had no idea what was wrong.  Every time he closed
his eyes he could see her pale, lifeless face, covered in blood. 
Pacey shivered again.

Joey, seeing he was in distress reacted instinctively.  She
wrapped her arms around him and pulled him close.  Pacey's
response was immediate.  He clung to her for dear life.  She could
feel him shudder and felt the wetness of tears on her neck.  She
rubbed his back with one hand stroking his hair gently with the
other.  Soon she felt him gain control and loosened her grip.  She
pulled back so she could see his eyes.  "You okay?"

Pacey nodded feeling somewhat embarrassed.  He hadn't meant to
fall apart, but when he felt her arms go around him. . .  "I'll be
okay.  I guess I just haven't dealt with it as well as I thought."

Joey smiled tenderly.  "Have you talked to anyone?"

Pacey shook his head.  "No, I answered all of Doug's questions but
he's the arresting officer so I can't really talk to him.  And
Dawson, well I'm pretty sure he blames me for what happened."  He
shrugged helplessly.

Joey's temper flared, aided by the *memory* of Dawson's selfish
ultimatum.  "Dawson likes to have someone to blame for everything,
keeps his world tidier."

Pacey was a bit taken aback by this attack on their friend.  "Jo,
are you and Dawson having problems?"

Joey swallowed a snippy remark.  "No, it's just the truth.  He
can't deal with the fact that sometimes things happen that are
completely beyond our control and that it isn't always somebody's
fault."

Pacey nodded thoughtfully.

"You should talk to Carson," Joey said suddenly.

"Huh?"

"About the accident."

"Oh, yeah.  I guess I could," Pacey hedged.

"No, you obviously need to talk to some one.  And its just as
obvious you can't talk to me without getting an attack of the
guilts.  So talk to her.  She'll listen, she always has." 

Pacey nodded.  "So when do we bust you out of this place?"

"Hopefully, after lunch.  If I'm still feeling all right the
doctor said I can go.  As long as I take it easy for the next few
days I should be okay." 

"So you gonna need someone to entertain you while you convalesce?" 

Joey hesitated.  She was never sure whether he was actually
flirting with *her* or just being Pacey.  She smiled uncertainly. 
"Do I dare ask what you would consider appropriate entertainment
for a shut-in?"

"Weeeelllll." Pacey waggled his eyebrows.  "I can think of one or
two things we could get up to while you're bed bound."

"Pacey!"  She swatted him again, less gently this time.

"Wha-at?" he protested innocently.  "I was talking about bringing
over a few video games and movies."

"Of course you were."  Joey rolled her eyes.  She couldn't help
but smile.  Pacey had that affect on her.  He somehow managed to
take a rotten mood and make it disappear with his own brand of
sweet silliness.  Suddenly she had a flash of him standing on the
deck of True Love, dramatically spouting truly horrid poetry while
she convulsed with laughter.

"Jo?"

"Hmm?  What?"  She returned to reality to meet Pacey's concerned
blue eyes.

"Where'd you go?"

She smiled softly at him.  "Somewhere wonderful."  

"Did you have a nice trip?" he teased.

"The best."  She blinked sleepily at him.

He watched her relax her eyes getting heavy.  "I should let you
rest.  If you're going to be home this afternoon you'll need it."

Joey looked at the clock on the wall, 7:45.  "How'd you get in
here so early anyway?"

Pacey grinned cockily.  "Charm.  Pure, unadulterated charm."

"That and twenty bucks will get you anything you want."  Joey
smirked at his wounded expression.

"Hey, I'll have you know it cost me not one dime to get past the
lovely lady in white."  In reality the nurse had felt sorry for
him.  He had presented such a woebegone countenance and told her
such an adorable sob story she had let him in long before visiting
hours started.

"Uh huh," Joey nodded doubtfully.  Then she asked quizzically. 
"So why are you here?"

Pacey was a bit taken aback.  "Do you want me to go?"

"NO!  I mean no, that's not it."  Joey reassured.  "It's just very
early and I was curious.  Was there something in particular you
wanted to talk about?"

Pacey shook his head.  "Not really.  I just wanted to make sure
you were doing okay before I went to school, that you didn't need
anything."

Joey smiled graciously.  "Thanks Pace.  I appreciate it."

Pacey shrugged.  "Well somebody has to look out for you.  It's
pretty obvious you can't do it so. . ."  He teased moving off the
bed and out of her reach.

"Don't you have a class to get to?" 

Pacey chuckled.  "Yeah as a matter of fact I do."  He headed for
the door then stopped.  "I'll drop by after school, bring your
work to you."  

"Thanks, Pacey."  She smiled.

"You're welcome, Jo."  He watched her snuggle back down under the
covers and left the room.

                         ~*~
                           
It was a perfect summer's evening.  The dying sun cast its warming
rays over the small deck, a cool ocean breeze ruffled their hair
as the sat cuddled together to watch yet another spectacular
sunset.  Joey felt Pacey sigh as the sun dipped beneath the
horizon and the sky burst into flame.  "That was the best one
yet," she whispered.

"Mhmm," was his only reply.

"How is it that each sunset we see gets progressively more
beautiful?" she asked softly as she snuggled deeper into his arms.

"I'm not sure," he said, his voice husky.  "But it only seems
fitting since each day with you is progressively more wonderful."

Joey turned in his arms to face him.  Everyday, it seemed he said
or did something that made her fall deeper in love with him.  Now,
here, like this, in the dying light, all she could think of was
how lucky she was to have found him.  "I love you," she whispered
before raising up to capture his lips in the sweetest of kisses.

"Hmm, I love you too." he whispered back before deepening the
kiss.  She could feel the now familiar tingling sensation in her
belly as his tongue gently tangled with hers.  The tingling
intensified, radiating outward as his mouth left hers and blazed a
trail down her chin and neck to the tender skin at the base of her
throat.  His hands had found their way under the soft fabric of
her t-shirt to explore her silky skin.  "Let's go below," he
murmured huskily. 

She stood on shaky legs and offered him a hand up.  He stood and
pulled her close.  His lips lowered to hers once again -

"Joey?"  

Joey was abruptly awake.  "What?"  She looked around the room,
trying to get her bearings, the dream trying to invade reality. 
"Dawson?" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.  I thought you'd be up by
now."  He came further into the room.

"It's okay."  She glanced at the clock.  "They should be serving
lunch soon.  What are you doing here, Dawson?" she asked,
resenting his intrusion into the beautiful dreamworld.

Dawson looked hurt.  "I just wanted to stop by and see if you were
okay."  He looked sulky for a moment.  "I stopped in before school
but the nurse wouldn't let me in.  Said your *boyfriend* was
already here with you.  Is there something you wanted to tell me,
Jo?" he asked petulantly.

Joey laughed.  So *that's* how he'd gotten by the nurses.  She
shook her head.  "Pacey."

"WHAT?!"

She waved Dawson off.  "He came to see me this morning.  He must
have told the nurses that he was my boyfriend in order to be
allowed in here."  She grinned at his audacity.

"Well, he should be more circumspect.  This *is* a small town."

"What?" Joey asked, not following his logic.

"Well, what if what he said this morning got around?  You of all
people know how quickly rumours can spread, Joey."

Joey just stared at him.  "And why would it be such a terrible
thing if people thought Pacey was my boyfriend?" she demanded.

Dawson, not wanting to anger her further, back-peddled quickly.
"Nothing, nothing.  There's nothing wrong with Pacey.  It's just
not true.  So, I would think nipping it in the bud would be the
prudent thing to do."

"Uh huh." was Joey's dismissive answer.  She contemplated her
blanket for a moment before saying, "Speaking of that."

Dawson was lost.  "Of what?"

"Me and boyfriends."  

"Yeah?" Dawson said tentatively.

"I've been meaning to ask you something.  And since we've managed
to somewhat regain our former friendship, I guess now is as good a
time as any."

"And what was that."

Joey took a deep breath.  "How would you feel if I told you I was
falling in love?"

"Are you?" he asked fearfully.

"Strictly hypothetical.  What would you do if I found someone
else?"

Dawson shrugged.  "If he really made you happy then I'd be happy
for you," he stated without conviction.  "But you haven't found
anyone, have you?  I thought this AJ guy was nothing serious.  You
said he was more like a friend, didn't you?"

"AJ is over."

"Really?  Do you mind if I ask why?"

"There was someone else.  I was in the way."

"I'm sorry, Jo." Dawson said honestly.  "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, really.  I'm happy for him, for both of them."  She
smiled ruefully.  "It just would have been nice if I hadn't been
the one to point out to them how they feel about one another."

Dawson winced sympathetically.  "Ouch."

"Yeah.  So you're saying that if I find someone, someone who can
make me happy, someone to love, who loves me back, you'll be happy
for me, support me?"

Dawson cleared his throat, not altogether comfortable with this
conversation, but knowing what he had to say.  "Of course.  If he
made you happy, of course I'd be supportive."

"No matter who it is, as long as I'm happy?"

"Did you have someone in particular in mind?" he asked
suspiciously.

Joey shook her head furiously.  "No, no.  No one.  Just looking
ahead that's all."  She smiled brightly.  "I mean, it stands to
reason that we're going to find other people, right?  I know I'd
be thrilled if you found someone to make you happy," she babbled.
"I'm just happy we've managed to return our relationship to a
place where we can discuss this type of thing."

Dawson nodded dubiously.  "Me too."

"Excuse me.  Hi, Joey."  The doctor entered the room holding a
chart.

"Hi, Dr. Martin."  Joey said, relieved by the intrusion.

Dawson stood.  "Well, I should be getting back to school."  He
smiled at Joey and bent to kiss her cheek.  "Ill stop by the house
on my way home, okay?  Bring you your homework?"

Joey shook her head.  "Don't worry about it, Pacey's getting it
for me."

"Oh.  Well I guess I'll just stop by to say hi then."  

She nodded and smiled.  "Sounds good. Bye, Dawson."

He waved and left the room pulling the door closed behind him. 
"That was weird," he said to the potted fern just outside her
room. Joey just wasn't acting herself.  All those questions about
her falling in love with someone else.  Dawson shook his head,
trying to drive away the unpleasant thought of Joey loving someone
other than him.  Why now?  Why, when she had dumped AJ was she
suddenly talking about falling in love.  It just didn't make
sense.  Pacey!  He could talk to Pacey.  He and Joey had been
spending an awful lot of time together recently.  If anyone would
know what was going on in that confusing head of hers it would be
Pacey.  Dawson smiled to himself, happy to have a plan of action
and headed back to school.

The end Never, Neverland part 3/10

I would love to hear what you think.

kayjay@sunwave.net