Redneck's Guide To Computer Lingo

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LOG ON: Making the wood stove hotter

LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood

MONITOR: Keepin an eye on that woodstove

DOWNLOAD: Gettin the farwood ofn the truk

MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin that farwood downloaded

FLOPPY DISK: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much

RAM: That thar thang whut splits the farwood

HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in th winter taim

PROMPT: Whut th mail ain't in th winter taim

WINDOWS: Whut to shut when it's cold outside

SCREEN: Whut to shut when it's blak fly season

BYTE: Whut them dang flys do

CHIP: Munchies fer th TV

MICRO CHIP: Whuts left in th munchie bag

INFRARED: Whur th left over munchies go, Fred eats em

MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields

DOT MATRIX: Ol Dan Matrix's wife

LAP TOP: Whur th kitty sleeps

KEYBOARD: Whur ya hang th dang keys

SOFTWARE: Them dang plastik forks and knives

MOUSE: Whut eats th grain in th barn

MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn ruf

PORT: Fancy Flatlander Wine

ENTER: Northern fer c'mon in y'all

RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya caint member whut ya paid fer yer new rifle

when yore wife asks