More Food For Thought...

Why do you press harder on a remote-control when you know the battery is dead?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold

tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Why are they called buildings, when they're already finished?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my disk?

The light went out, but where to?

Does the reverse side also have a reverse side?

If the universe is everything, and scientists say that the universe is

expanding, what is it expanding into?

What would a chair look like if your knees bent the other way?

When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss instead of a near hit?

Do fish get cramps after eating?

If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?

Why is it, when a door is open it's ajar, but when a jar is open, it's not adoor?

Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars and he'll believe you. Tell him

a bench has wet paint and he has to touch it.

If "con" is the opposite of "pro," then what is the opposite of progress?

Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?

Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure" it?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?

Since so many states have lotteries, why do any psychics still work for a living?

Disney World: a people trap operated by a mouse.