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| My Journal |
| I don't want reassurance...I want an outlet. |
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| 4-21-02 Last night was wonderful. I can't put it into words that successfully describe it. It was just amazing. The night started with Jack's concert. The music was mostly well-played though not quite perfect. Collin had been online earlier and was in town, so he came to the concert, and Adam went cause he owed it to Jackie (or something). I also met Jackie's current girlfriend and a tuba player in Jack's band. The six of us decided to hang out after the concert, and mom and dad went on home without giving me a curfew. I rode with Adam in his truck, and Collin took the other three in his jeep. Jack decided to have fun with spit balls and our waiter told him who to aim them at. Afterward, we walked around and such. It was an incredibly hot night, so after a while, we sat down at Joe Muggs and just talked. They started to close and put up all their chairs, but we just kept sitting. Then Collin had to leave, and he took Beth back to her car (Jack's gf). After a little more time, the rest of us decided to go home and the four of us crammed into Adam's truck, Jack in the back, and me wedged between Adam and the guy whose name may have been Josh. They got out and Adam drove me home and we just talked. I think the reason it was so amazing to me was because I've never felt that free. My parents have never let me do anything like that before, and now they're starting to and college is becoming way real. I get scared about it sometimes. But I also can't wait. Sometimes I just need an escape. Last night was an awesome escape. (I apologize for staying away so long. School has become life. Graduation is around the corner and hopefully with it, more freedom.) Good night. "She's a good girl, loves her momma, loves Jesus, and America too/she's a good girl, crazy bout Elvis, loves horses, and her boyfriend too............and I'm free, free fallin, yeah I'm free, free fallin" |
| 6-14-02 This makes three entries this year...I'm really doing wonderfully. So much has changed, mostly for the better. Beth is back in the states (my cousin has been a missionary kid in Indonesia for the last 2 years and 6 years total). She and I will be living at my grandparents next year while attending Auburn. I can't wait to begin classes. Well, maybe I can. I'm gettin a website on Auburn's server, so I'll link you all to that when I get it up and running. Trying to learn html for it, but I dunno how long that'll last with all the easy tools to convert it for me. I'm doing UAB summer band, which is pretty awesome. I like most of the people in it with me, and I'm especially glad Shaun's been able to come and hang out a bit. I look forward to this every year. I need a job though. Hopefully I'll get one soon. I'm workin on it (anything to get out of the house!). Jenn and I did our ritual summer movie before she's off to college (I strongly recommend seein Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood to any female, not a chic flick, just a good girly movie). She leaves soon and I'm gonna miss her. We haven't really been that far apart (school wise) for a good long while. But there's always the internet. Easy enough to IM each other. And I'm out of my relationship...have been for a good long while actually. It's nice not to worry about it. I'd had a boyfriend most of the time since I started high school. I don't regret it, really, I came out of it with good and bad experiences, and some good, strong friendships. And it wasn't that I didn't wanna be single either, I just usually wasn't. Now I am and it's quite nice. I really just wanna get to school. Start classes I'm interested in. We'll see how it goes when I get there. Wish me luck. "another turning point a fork stuck in the road, time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go, so make the best of this test and don't ask why, it's not a question but a lesson learned in time, it's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right, I hope you had the time of your life" |
| 11-20-02 I feel like such a slacker. I haven't updated here in such a long time. And part of that is because of the person who kept posting stuff on my guestbook and emailing me and my friends. I'm not quite sure what all that was about. Oh well....that was a while ago. Oh, and, funny story...there's a girl down here by the name of Krystal Jacobs in my Nutrition class. (For those of you who don't know, that one name the girl who was bugging me gave.) I feel like I'm so far from where I was when I last updated. Not different....just farther along. More removed from that life and I've started to throw myself into a new life. Everybody says you always lose touch with even good friends from high school. I always disagreed. And yeah, there's a bit more space between us, but I still talk to Jenn and Crystal and through them find out how others are doing. I still run into a few people down here and I talk to a lot of people over IM. Given, I don't talk to them as much, but it isn't like they've gone and dropped off the planet to me. I haven't by any means forgotten them. One thing I have noticed though....everytime I go home, so much has changed. Especially construction-wise in Trussville. And sometimes home feels foreign to me. It's still home, but I don't quite fit in or belong there anymore. And as much as I love my current living situation...I know this isn't home either. I think I'll know home when I get there...and I definitely want to design it. I feel like there's so much to write, but I tend to write elsewhere lately. It started as sorta different sites for different people, with some people knowing about both. The end of high school was pretty rough. Lots of things, social and school. It's better now. And I don't feel as though I've run away from problems, I feel as though they're gone and it's really better now. And sometimes I worry that I'm only deceiving myself, or that things will get bad, but I really think it'll stay good. I'm happy, and I like being happy. "I do not know how long twill be, or what the future holds for me, but this I know, if I must die, I am a brother, of K K Psi" |
| 7-30-02 So I've been in college and been busy. I've now completed two semesters, and am about to start my third. Band is about to start again and I can't wait. We're pretty highly ranked this year and I'm looking forward to the games. I've been in Auburn most of the summer. I've taken up swing dancing and golf. I know, how odd. My heart's not really in this entry, I'm just updating to update, I suppose. It's been an interesting and enlightening year. I finally have the freedom I wanted in high school. I can be spontaneous. I find out about things and if I'm interested, I check it out. I don't have to ask permission. And my schedule isn't as full as it was in high school. I'm happy here. Happier than I ever was through grade school. And I'm finally single. And for now, I don't want it to change. When someone asks me out right now, I just generally don't want to go. I spose I'm being a-social as Aaron likes to put it. But I am happy. Enough for now. "Wise men say only fools rush in" |
