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watching the sun rise
sitting on the porch steps
cigarette held in two fingers
pen clutched in the other hand
inhale smoke as a car speeds
by and birds caw overhead
Oed sits in the window
a silent observer of my ineptitude
pause to crack my neck
take another drag
and observe the stillness
the smoke floats away on a cool morning breeze
a student in a letterman's jacket meanders
by on the sidewalk
wearing a hat but no gloves
my tongue plays incessantly with my broken tooth
I toss my cigarette down the steps
only to light another
my main defense against the world
the smoke is harsh, as is the air
I shiver against the metal railling
I see the smoke dissipate and think
of love
such a fleeting experience
our lives are governed by concepts
I would tell you of my dreams
but they would only be bastardized
by your own preceptions
language is so limiting
I want to speak to you
but I am mute in my desperation
I feel powerless, impotent
But I take off my clothes and I curl up
next to you and I bask in your warmth
so I can pretend...
You tell me I'm an evil bitch
because I came to bed but didn't
stay there in your arms
I chose to cry on the porch steps
alone in the early morning light
why should I keep you awake
with tears I shed for you?
�MCEWAN all rights reserved.