Disclaimer: I really don’t think I own Malice Mizer. I think I would know if I did. *nods*
Gackt: Really, it must have locked on your way out.
Puff: I suppose…and here I just promised I wouldn’t work my dark arts for a week.
Gackt: *looks hopeful* That’s terrible. Mana and I are stuck in here, I guess.
Puff: Don’t worry, dear, I’ll go hunt down a locksmith. I’ll just have to refrain from snacking. *giggles*
Gackt: o_O
Playing House
Chapter Nineteen
“Oh, my,” Mana said softly, staring at the horrifying mess in the kitchen. He caught Gackt’s hand in his own and stepped back further into the hallway, pulling the vocalist along with him. The pair watched from behind where the four neighbor women stood, figuring it would be safer if they had something in front of them in case things went even more awry.
Adam was curled up on the floor, nursing several different wounds in various locations, and crying out from pain. Britney was desperately attempting to keep the seven children away from the butler and it wasn’t working very well at all. Allison’s almost serene face stood out best among the chaos as she snapped at the kids, which was an unfruitful endeavor as Britney’s now high-pitched screaming drowned her out completely. Meanwhile, the children were having a food fight and the room, including everyone in it, was utterly filthy.
Each mother was torn between wanting to control her children and not wanting to get caught in the middle of the food fight herself. Bravely, two of the women ventured into the kitchen and grabbed at their unruly offspring; one, however, did not make it out. Melissa slipped on a chicken bone and landed in an unidentifiable pile of mixed-up food. Helen clutched at her four-year-old daughter protectively and didn’t notice the good-sized slice of blueberry pie Lina carried until it fell on to the snow-white carpet.
“I’m so sorry,” Helen hurriedly said, grasping for the dessert with her free hand only to smash it further into the carpet, “I didn’t know she was holding it. I’m sure if it gets cleaned quickly, it won’t stain.” Mana and Gackt took another step backwards in unison, realizing the mess was getting closer to them.
“It’s fine. Britney can take care of it whenever things settle down and she gets most of her dinner off of her,” Gackt stated calmly, forcing a smile so Helen wouldn’t get any closer with her dirty child.
“I’ll be right back,” Mana said softly, edging along the wall so he wouldn’t have to walk by Lina, who looked like a garbage pile, as he went to go fetch the men from the dining room, “Excuse me, but I think your wives require a bit of assistance controlling your children. This moment.” He added the last bit darkly, his blue eyes shaded heavily. The three men hurried from their seats, each slightly shocked by how murderous the guitarist had just looked.
“Get your children,” three of the women hissed in unison, as soon as they saw their husbands. Miriam, being a widow, had to control her children with Britney’s very forceful help. The maid didn’t seem to take well to the rowdy little ones, as was clearly demonstrated when she all but threw Eliza at her mother and dragged Caitlyn out of the food fight by her wrists.
After a long, exasperating five minutes, all seven children were safely controlled by at least one adult. Various sauces and soups dripped on to the once brilliantly white carpet off of almost everyone’s clothes save for Mana and Gackt; they had disappeared into the living room while their servants and their guests calmed everything down. Red-faced parents stared at their hosts, whom had just nervously emerged from their safe hiding spot.
“We really don’t know what got into them,” Terri said quickly, her grip tightening around Lina, “All the children are normally perfect angels.” The pair of musicians were blank faced as they looked around the general area, surveying the damage caused by the little dinner party.
“If you don’t mind, we’ll just be going now,” Melissa chirped nervously to break the growing awkward silence, her fingernails digging into her husband’s arm as they turned to rush out of the house, “Thank you for inviting us over.” The other neighbors nodded their agreement, speeding out towards the safety of their own quiet homes.
“We should do this again,” Mana said in a bright tone that was obviously forced, smirking vaguely as three horrified looks from the servants were pinned onto him, “I mean, everything was lovely until the children became unruly.” The front door slammed loudly and all was silent afterwards, except for the remaining whimpers of pain that were coming from Adam. He was still lying on the once perfectly polished ebony kitchen floor, trying to decide whether or not it was worth the pain that would be caused by moving in an attempt to get out of the filth.
“Do I want to know what happened to him?” Gackt asked the two other servants, his blue eyes flicking over the butler. Allison and Britney exchanged a quick look and shrugged in unison.
“Let’s just say he was our first line of defense against the children and they overwhelmed him,” Allison explained quickly, pushing her food covered red hair off of her face, “I don’t think he suffered any major injuries. There isn’t any blood or limbs sticking out at odd angles.” Britney grinned slightly, almost laughing at how Adam was trying to glare at everyone. He forced himself to get up, groaning with every movement.
“It’s easy for you to say that, Allison. You aren’t the one who had seven hyper children jump on you as they began their assault,” Adam hissed, his teeth clenched tightly. He hid his anger badly when he noticed that his two employers were watching him with curious eyes as they waited for him to continue his complaint. The butler crossed his arms and sulked dejectedly, completely oblivious to the light blonde strands of food coated hair hanging down past his eyebrows.
“Well, I do believe that you three should get to work,” Gackt said after a few minutes of uncomfortable silence passed, “The stains are probably already starting to set into the carpet.” Mana signaled his agreement and the trio of servants looked around at one another with pure confusion painting their faces.
“Not to contradict what you think we should be doing at the moment or anything,” Britney began slowly, fiddling with the end of one of her sleeves as she carefully planned her next words to be as polite as was humanly possible given the circumstances, “But I have to say that we’d probably just add to the mess at this point if we tried to clean up the kitchen and the hallway. We’re filthy.” To add weight to her words she gestured at herself and her two friends who stood off to the side.
“That is a problem,” Mana said in the same measured tones Britney had used, making sure he didn’t smile as he continued, “Though it isn’t a very major one that can be easily taken care of. Just find a way to clean yourselves off easily. It doesn’t have to be perfectly done, just clean enough that you won’t add to the stains. And, no, Adam, you can’t go jump into the swimming pool.” He added his last comment when the butler’s green eyes had started to glow with a mischievous light. Immediately after Mana spoke, Adam fell back into his pitiful excuse for a sulk.
“The garden hose would probably work well,” Gackt stated quickly, desperately trying not to laugh at the horrified looks the two women were giving him, “It’s nice and sunny outside. You’d dry quickly.” Neither Allison nor Britney could come up with a logical way to get out of that, no matter how frantically they searched their minds for excuses. Adam didn’t look too appalled; in fact, he looked like he was going to have fun spraying his co-workers with icy cold water.
“You’re absolutely right, Gackt,” Allison admitted sadly after a moment had elapsed, grasping for Adam’s and Britney’s hands as she spoke, “We’ll go do that now, so we can get to work as soon as it is possible. Is the garden hose set up in the backyard?” Britney appeared to be on the verge of tears when she realized just how pleased Adam was with the situation.
“I believe it is. If it isn’t, you’ll have to go to the front yard,” Gackt said in a calm voice, smiling in a way that seemed sympathetic. Allison nodded and hurriedly dragged her two friends behind her, rushing along so they wouldn’t drip anything else onto the carpet on the way out. As soon as the trio was out the door and it was securely shut, Mana and Gackt burst into hysterical laughter.
“I can’t believe they’re actually going to do that,” Mana said in between fits of giggles, trying to keep his loose ringlets from falling out of place, “One would think that they’d try to protest at least a little bit.” Gackt grabbed his friend’s wrist and pulled him down to the glass doors that led to the backyard, pushing aside the black and silver curtains so they could see outside.
“Perhaps they didn’t want to upset us and run the risk of losing their jobs,” Gackt said amusedly, calming himself down so the servants wouldn’t notice the pair of musicians watching them. Mana followed suit, though he had a large smile still pinned to his normally impassive features.
“Sometimes, I think we may be just a little mean to them,” Mana said softly, his blue eyes dancing with delight as Adam uncoiled the garden hose. Within seconds, Britney and Allison were running around the lawn screaming bloody murder as the freezing water soaked through their clothes down to their skin.
“Just a little mean,” Gackt admitted, smirking when Britney attacked Adam to get the hose away from him.
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