"'Tis nae sae simple tae throw off three decades of what I kenned tae be truth", Kay sighed, her accent thickening with the stress of trying to re-orient her perspective. This time she noticed it quickly, and changed back to a caheunga that was as flat and un-accented as she could make it.
"Me Mum grew up here on this world, though she's been through years of intensive psychotherapy to try to forget everything that happenned to her before we first emigrated to Terra", she explained, "Da and Grand-dad Malcolm made it clear to me at a young age that she was entitled to her privacy and that this subject was NOT to be discussed. They wouldn't even tell me much about THEIR lives as Base personnel on this world".
Kay sighed, then continued, "So all I mostly had for information was what I could cajole out of my Gran when nobody else was home ... she was the one who told me where to look in the data banks ... later I had the guidance of Her Grace, the Priestess Aine who I met at university and who iniated me in the Way of Wicca as she knew it. She had wanted me to join the others of her Grove, but I never dared ... I didn't want anyone else to know what I was"
Melissa reached out and took one of Kay's hands, making sure she had her barriers up first. No point in adding to the cacaphony in Kay's head right now. "Well maybe it's time to dare a little. How can you go on, choking off a part of you that is as vital as breathing? It's starting to take its toll on you, and quite frankly," she looked at Kay directly, her eyes misting, "I'm not ready to lose another Breda quite so soon." Her grip on Kay's hand was fierce.
A look of confusion crossed Kay's face. She was tempted to ask Melissa about her lost oath-sister. But she hesitated ... wondering if that might be too painful topic. "Even when I stood alone in my youth, I was never lost for long. I _WILL_ survive _THIS_ as I've survived everything else", she reasurred Melissa instead.
Melissa, who was more than a bit tired of all the side-stepping and careful words, finally said what she had been wanting to for so long. "Well then quit being such a stubborn old donkey, and get yourself to the tower where good, safe people can help you! Can't you see we are all trying to help in our own ways, but none of us are the right kind of people to do the right job! You wouldn't ask a farrier to cook you a twenty course banquet meal, nor should you hope to fix something like threshold sickness all by yourself, you..." she looked for the right animal, but realizing there wasn't one that fit what she was looking for on Darkover, settled for one she figured Kay would know, "...you silly moose!"
Surprised at her outburst, Melissa instantly looked contrite, and covered her mouth, eyes wide. "Sorry," she murmured after a moment. "I didn't mean to lose my temper."
Katie looked at Kay, who looked a bit like she'd been smacked in the head with a big fish, and smiled. "I'm sorry too - I don't mean to preach, it's the last thing you need, but you are very ill right now, and very very vulnerable. It's dangerous for you not to seek help -it could mean your life. I know everyone in this house cares a great deal about you, perhaps more than you realize," she looked at Louis. "And the last thing any of them wants to see is for you to be harmed in any way - more than you have been already. With some training, you could live with your laran under control, and finally be - whole. It's the only way I can describe it."
Louis was leaning against a wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest, thinking about everything the Terranan woman had said. "That's why I came, remember Kay? Because I knew I needed help...Because it IS dangerous, and you and I know it. If you've got the chance, then, by all means, learn how to deal with this...", he said softly in Standard, looking into her eyes.
The deep pools of rich chocolate brown seemed to almost swallow her up. For a moment, Kay caught a glimpse of how strongly he felt about this. The wave of feelings pushed insistantly at her like a strong winter wind before fading away again as he closed off the leak.
Things had been _different_ when she was responsible only for herself, Kay thought to herself. But now she had Anwyn and Louis to worry about, as well as Ceroill. And there were the little ones now too. Sadly, Kay admitted to herself that it was indeed more than she could handle alone. Recent events had proved that all too well. And if she couldn't trust the word of her own oath-sister, then there wasn't likely to be anyone else on this world who she _COULD_ trust, among those who used the Gift that Melissa and Katie called 'laran'.
With a sigh, Kay looked at all the faces around her, "I do indeed need help to clean up the mess I made", she admitted, "but perhaps I should start telling this tale back at the beginning, with how this all started ...".
Melissa, still feeling horribly guilty about cutting Alan off so shortly, looked at her Breda with a no-nonsense expression on her face. Within seconds, it softened to one of concern and affectionate worry, as she had so often experienced with Morgana in the past.
"Yes, perhaps you should." she said softly, taking Kay's hand and squeezing it gently. She helped get Kay covered up so at least she didn't have to worry about sitting half naked in the middle of the room, and then nodded encouragingly for Kay to begin her story.
Absent-mindedly, Kay began to play nervously with the end of her braid. Then, suddenly noticing what she was doing, she dropped it and sighed. It was a long story, and she wasn't sure how much detail would be appropriate.
"Ummm .... Kay ?", Anwyn piped up. She and the cat were getting along quite well. When Kay looked over, the girl added hopefully "Did you want me to go fetch Mestru Merrick for you ? He told me more about all this totally-weird fey stuff when I was upstairs in the attic. But I still don't how how he and his owl fit into all this".
It seemed to be a far better idea than trying to summon them herself, so Kay quickly agreed. "Just _PLEASE_ don't yell on the stairs this time", she requested, "if his headache is at least as bad as mine, he'll not thank you for yelling".
Anwyn rolled her eyes, and protested "the LAST time I did THAT, it WAS an emergency .. now it's NOT ... and I know the difference". Then she headed quietly up the stairs.
He sat, very still, managing to be somewhat "empty", breathing slowly and deeply. Through Oberon's keen ears he was slightly aware of everything going on in his house/ shop. As Anwyn came up the stairs, he "surfaced" again, and stood as she knocked lightly on the sitting room door.
Ceroill almost managed to open it before she actually knocked, but he was slower than he once had been. As it was, he managed to forestall her summons with "I'll be right down, thank you." He followed her down the stairs, a bit behind, and Oberon swooped down to perch on the newel post at the foot of the stairs.
Thankfully, the healing of the young hawk had done quite a bit to ameliorate his headache, and his own efforts had reduced it to bearable status. Even so, he descended rather slowly. Ok, so maybe part of him was being a bit dramatic. Anwyn didn't notice that she was leaving him far behind -- she was in far too much of a hurry to return to the kitchen.