"Maybe THAT's why you don't seem to like me very much", Anwyn suggested to Gwenn, looking down at her toes and feeling rather badly. "It must be the differences between our two cultures. So, what I see as being quite normal-and-polite behaviour, must seem as odd (and sometimes insulting) to YOU two, as YOU sometimes seem to ME. So, it's all MY fault that we don't get along. Even though I don't MEAN to do so, I guess I've probably been accidentally insulting you ever since I met you -- simply by acting like a Teranan. Maybe that's what Kay means when she says that I should be more polite to you (even though I thought that I WAS being polite)".
Anwyn continued, "The way that I grew up, people are expected to ASK for help before it's considered polite for other people to offer it to them -- unless they're children who are too young to talk yet, or unless they're obviously in need of someone to heal them.
Now it was Gwenn's turn for his jaw to drop. "Even brothers and sisters?" he asked, incredulous.
"How else would I have learned to take of MYSELF if they hadn't pushed me to it at an early age ? When I was five years old and my youngest sister Mary was 10 years old, I wanted to be just like her. My Da and Mum told me that anyone who was old enough to walk and talk like an adult, was old enough to be treated like an adult instead of like a wee babe. That's why I'm so different from Kay. She grew up in a single small-town where EVERYONE came from the same culture. So she fits in better here, because much of it is similar to her home. And I DON'T fit, 'cause most of this is NOTHING like any of the places where I grew up".
"Why, yer sisters an' brothers help ye learn," Gwenn said, still not understanding. "But if they canna' help wi'out bein' asked...." he finished helplessly with a shrug and an unhappy look.
Anwyn gave him another puzzled look. "But they DID help me. I just had to ASK them. And sometimes I didn't need help -- there were many things that I learned about from reading books".
Then she added (to Burl as well as Gwenn), looking up shyly and hoping that they weren't too mad at her. "So I'm really very SORRY that I returned your compliments with a response that you found insulting. I wasn't TRYING to INSULT either of you. And I'm sorry if you thought that I WAS", she apologized.
Then she added, by way of further explantion, "But I'm still not used to people who act like you, and think like you. Even the other Terranans on the Base often confuse me -- though usually not as much. And even Kay and I frequently disagree about what's considered to be normal behavior (now more than ever). Before I met HER, nobody EVER really paid much attention to where I went (or what I did), as long I didn't break any laws and didn't get myself hurt doing it -- not since I was about eight years old and could read maps (and count coins) well enough to go places by myself".
As a peace offering to the two young men, she then offered, "I guess that I could try harder to act more like a local girl ... or at least, more like Kay. I don't know much about how to fit in -- one millitary base is similar enough to any other one, and there were rarely any other kids close to my own age. And everywhere we went, there were always enough fellow Terranan around that I didn't stand out as being noticeably-odd in any way. In fact, NOBODY has EVER found my manners to be lacking -- not until after I got HERE and started meeting local people. So ... you see ... THAT's why I always thought you were so difficult to get along with", Anwyn told Gwenn, staring down at her toes again, in embarassment, "I don't WANT to keep starting arguments with you. Kay loves you more than ANYBODY on this planet, and it makes her unhappy that we don't get along with each other. But whatever I say, somehow comes out WRONG some of the time, and you keep getting angry at me".
Now Gwenn was blushing dark red. No wonder why Anwyn was always so difficult! She thought he'd been treating her like a little child too young to do anything for herself! And the arguments about Darkovan culture just made it worse, even though he tried as best he could to explain stuff.
Noticing Gwenn's red face, Anwyn took that as a helpful sign. Maybe they'd simply been misunderstanding each other all these months. So she gave both Gwenn and Burl a warm smile, and suggested hesitantly, "You two are welcome to come for a walk with me ... just for company ... if you WANT to ... and if you don't have anything more important to do ... and I wouldn't mind if you'd rather go do something else instead. I doubt that anyone would bother a little nobody like me, anyways. And I've LIVED in much worse places than THIS neighbourhood, so it doesn't bother me at all. This area is actually quite pretty-looking -- much more so than the spaceport or the rest of the Terran Zone".
Gwen tried again to explain it, brow knitted in a frown as he did so. "But I cannae let ye wander, Anwyn," he pleaded with her, trying to get her to understand his position, his accent thickening with his distress.
Anwyn looked up abruptly, and frowned. "And why NOT ?", she demanded defiantly. "What do you think gives YOU the authority to tell ME what to do ? Kay NEVER told me that I had to take orders from you". MacConnal certainly had alot of nerve, she thought to herself. He couldn't be much older than SHE was -- and here he thought he could boss her around.
Gwenn replied (just as stubbornly), "Ye're fostered to Kay, and so I'm responsible if anythin' happens to ye. An' the way ye act, ye might insult someone, 'cause....". His vopice trailed off as the realization hit him as to why he always reacted poorly when Anwyn acted differently than he expected of her (and more so than he did with Kay) his brows unknit. "...'cause ye're dressed like a Darkovan, an' they'd expect ye to act like one".
Anwyn's anger abruptly melted away, to be replaced by a look of curiousity and total confusion. "Why does it matter what I wear ?", she inquired in a very puzzled tone of voice, "Putting on different clothes doesn't make me any less Terranan -- I STILL don't fit in very well. I'm still the same me".
"Aye, but _they_ dinna' know that," Gwenn explained. "They see a young Darkovan, an' they expect ye to know what ta do an' what not ta do. An' when ye don't--an' ye definitely don't--they can be insulted. I've been afraid ye'd get knifed for it".
Anwyn shrugged. "If anyone ever tries THAT with ME, they'll get several VERY unpleasant surprises. I've never killed anyone -- but I know how. And, except for formal-dress occasions, at least I don't have to worry about having skirts to get in my way", she said simply, in a very cold and calculating tone that seemed ill-fitting for someone so young.
"It doesn't help that ye run around dressed like a boy--they'd expect ye to be able to fight", Gwenn replied, just as stubbornly, "_I've_ gotten inta fights simply 'cause _I_ do some things differently than the lowlanders. Sometimes I insult them, and sometimes they insult me." Burl just stood quietly, looking from Anwyn to Gwenn and back.
Anwyn grinned at the two of them. "If you get into a fight when I'm around, I'd be happy to help you. People tend to underestimate me, since I'm short and since I only fight when someone attacks me", she offered. After all those years of unarmed combat classes (and the Tai Chi and gymnastics exercises that she still did on most days), Anwyn didn't doubt that she could defend herself. But perhaps it wouldn't be wise to admit that she never hesitated to fight dirty in order to buy enough time to run away. Or that she had learned her nastiest tricks from her oldest sister Ula, a Marine whose favourite hobbies were unarmed combat and easily-concealed old-style weaponry.
"So," Gwenn asked, deliberately changing the subject, as his blush faded to a light red, "what _are_ ye doing here? It's obvious ye're lookin' for somethin' or someone". Burl's expression seemed to indicate he hadn't known Anwyn was looking for anything in particular.