"Do you remember what I told you yesterday in the carriage ?", Kay inquired cautiously, still keeping her voice low. Her eyes filling with desperate hope, she looked up (and directly back at Melissa). "By the new-forged bond that lies between us, and by all that you hold most precious, Melissa my breda, all of this that I'm telling you today, must be kept in the same confidence. _NO-ONE_ is to know of _ANY_ of it from you", she insisted, "excepting only Gwenn and Dolo, who know only part of it yet. If I didn't need have such a strong need to talk to _SOMEONE_ trustworthy about all of this ... this .. _oddness_, then I'd not have even mentioned _THIS_ much".
Melissa, feeling very much like she had just left the door to to the hen house open, nodded. "Of course."
Kay sighed with frustration, and paused for a moment. "Last night was not the first time that something odd has happenned to me, and I doubt that it will turn out to have been the last time", she admitted, "when I was a little girl, my gran once warned me that she carried a trace of the blood of the Ancient Ones. Back home, we call them the 'Sidhe' or the 'Fey Folk', but you would likely know them best by the name 'chieri'. She told me that it might awaken a special ... talent ... within me when I grew older. And she said that such talents were a very private matter and should never be discussed (or displayed) in front of anyone who could not prove that they themself had fey talent as well".
Wondering what Melissa thought of all of this, Kay added in further explanation, "Back on Terra, many folks fear or hate (and often harass) anyone who's more than superficially ... different ... in any way. This was one of the first things I learned in school --- how to pretend to 'fit in' with my peers. After Gran died, Da and Mum and Grand-dad insisted that I simply had an over-active imagination. They said that any such talk of the Fey Folk was just fairy-tales and scary-tales told to amuse children. But I've always wondered if there might be some degree of truth in the tales. Official Terran poilcy also claims that sorcery doesn't exist, yet I've seen it for myself". Kay's voice trailed off. Perhaps she had said too much already.
As Kay spoke, explaining her gran's words and her mother's advice, Melissa nodded, finally understanding it all. When Kay fell silent, Melissa drew a deep breath, exhaling slowly. How to begin...?
"Kay, here on Darkover, what you call your fey powers, or whatever, is known as laran", Melissa said, "And it's a gift that we prize more than most everything else. We've had to, in our history, to survive on this planet. Not everyone has it, and those who do, are considered gifted - not, certainly, outcasts or freaks".
A wave of shocked surprise flashed across Kay's face. It was tinged with the slight bitterness of pain that was old, deep and not entirely healed. How could Melissa be so naively innocent ? How sheltered had her life been ? Did she truly not know that fey talent was more realistically like a double-edged blade ? "It may be so ... to those around _you_", she protested, trying to choose her words carefully, "But Melissa, _you_ are a member of one of this world's major noble families, among a society where the existence of sorcery is openly-accepted as fact. It's not that I doubt your words ... just that I find it difficult to believe that such advantages do not make a significant ... difference ...".
Melissa shook her head emphatically. "But Kay, it's nothing to do with noble birth , or what have you. Laran comes when and wher it will, and those who possess it are always cherished!". She was aghast that Kay thought that the "special" status was only due to bloodlines alone.
This really wasn't worth arguing about. No benefit could possibly come from disillusioning Melissa, and Kay certainly didn't want to upset her. Having such a talent cherished all your life was a blessing, but not everyone was so fortunate. "I know only what I myself have seen and heard and felt", she replied, "but perhaps things are indeed different in different places ... I shall wait and see.".
Kay sighed, then added wistfully "I wish I had your innocence ... but I lost mine many, many years ago ... and now I've seen too much (and heard too many folk-tales, and read too many histories) to be able to ever reclaim it. But I envy you yours, and hope you never lose its comfort". As much as she wanted Melissa to understand the importance of keeping all of this secret, Kay didn't want to disillusion her new sister, or distress her with details of what it was like to have this ... laran ... awaken in a society where you were wisest to keep your own counsel if you saw/heard/felt anything that other people couldn't (or didn't acknowledge).
Melisa looked at Kay with some sympathy. "It's fairly common these days, with so many of us coming and going from the planet, and meeting people from other worlds, that our laran often -" she searched for the right word, "leaks out sometimes, and turns up on other worlds where those of us who do have the power may have - interbred with local populations."
Common ? So there were MORE people like this ? How many ? All over the universe ? So then why did official Terran policy claim such things didn't exist ? And, if it was so normal on this world, then why did some of her co-workers echo Kay's own Mum in calling this a world full of freaks, mutants and other monsters ? Kay was now completely confused. She herself had needed to approach a priestess of Wicca in order to get any confirmation that she wasn't telling a fictional tale, suffering from hallucinations, or losing her sanity. But even Priestess Aine had cautioned her not to openly speak of such things.
"I read once, long ago, that the earliest settlers to the planet bred with the Chieri, which helped along their psychic abilities - but they must have posessed them in the first place, without the chieri blood", Melissa continued.
That fit in with one of the childhood tales Kay had heard from Grandad Malcolm when he'd had far much to drink one night. He'd told her of how the Sidhe were ancient even way back when Terra itself was the only world where humans lived, and how the long history of Skye (home of his ancestors for almost a millenium) was filled with tales of their encounters with humans. But he'd never spoken of it again after that night, and from then on, had referred to such things only as 'ridiculous superstitions' and 'nonsense fit only to amuse children'.
Melissa cast Kay a speculative glance. "So it's quite possible that whatever your blood ties to Darkover are, they have mixed with, perhaps, your own natural inclination to it". She took the girl's hands into her own, monitoring her own barriers carefully.
With Kay's shields slightly higher than their everyday level, even the skin-to-skin contact brought only a faintly-aching tingle and a light hint of the feelings Melissa was projecting. Unsure whether it was that she was unable to push Melissa away, or simply just unwilling to do so, Kay whispered softly "Careful, breda", "I've not yet fully recovered from being attacked last night ... that will come in its own time".
"It's not anything to be afraid of", Melissa explained,"It's perfectly normal here. Why, Dolo and I assumed that you knew about it already. Your skills are very strong and well controlled."
"I'll agree wi' ye about the control -- I doubt I'd ha' survived adolescence if I'd nae been able tae master that skill. But I've nae anywhere so much talent as ye think me to have", Kay protested, telling at best a half-truth, "I've only just enough tae get me in tae trouble sometimes". Not even to Melissa could she admit that she only ever used a bare minimum of what she thought she might possibly be able to access. And even then, she didn't use it often. Nor did she mention her suspicions (and fear) that more frequent usage might cause it to grow.
Melissa's face fell. "I'm sorry if we frightened you in any way. We certainly didn't mean to."
This was harder than expected. Kay struggled to find the right words to explain. "'Tis not ye tha' I fear, Melissa, newest of my breda ... nor Dolo either ... I believe tha' Gwenn was right 'bout her being trustworthy, an' tha' she was right 'bout you (otherwise I'd nae ha' agreed tae the bond 'tween us)". She paused for a moment, then added, with a sad shake of her head, "But I've nae any good reason tae rush into letting others fully see me as I am ... an' far too many reasons tae be cautious".
Melissa sat back for a moment, overwhelmed with the strength - no - ferocity, of Kay's feelings. After a minute, she smiled. Kay had obviously taken her to her heart, calling her Breda in only the most traditional and stalwart form of the word. Melissa was surprised to feel no objection to Kay doing that.
Feeling really rather puzzled at Melissa's reaction, Kay raised an eyebrow curiously and lowered her outermost barriers a small degree. What if Melissa didn't understand ? Or worse, what if she felt it her duty to report this to someone ?
Melissa grabbed hold of both of Kay's trembling hands. *Breda, listen to me.* she focused very intently on what she now recognized as Kay's mental signature. *I promise you that you are in no danger here because of your laran. I swear by all that I am, as a Ridenow, and as a human being, that I will help you - to do everything that I can, to protect you from harm, and help you to happiness here on Darkover.*
Kay recognized Melissa's mental touch. Across their connection came a sudden flood of feelings: warmth, protectiveness, loyalty and hope. There was also this odd sense that there were words, if only Kay knew how to hear them. A smile crossed her face, as she echoed the same feelings back. "You are my chosen sister, the sister of my heart. Where I come from, these things are forever", she whispered.
Without thinking, Melissa drew the small knife that she carried always with her, and pressed it into Kay's hands. *Breda, yes, you are my sister. And - * she choked mentally for a moment - *You will always be so.*
Struggling to make sense of all of this, Kay stared wide-eyed at Melissa. There was something instinctively *right* about this -- as if the Hand of the Goddess herself were behind it. A rush of emotion flowed back through their connection.
Melissa chuckled. It wouldn't be thie first time she'd done something impulsive, nor, she was sure, would it be the last. But one thing was certain - that she felt no qualms about what she was doing.
Then, softly Kay whispered "Gladly would I accept ye ... yet I must ask, for the sake of honor, d'ye fully ken the possible consequences of _openly_ (and very visibly) being known to be bound in sisterhood with a Terranan. Will it not cause ye trouble wi' yer husband-to-be, or yer family or yer friends ? I've nae wish to endanger ye, or shatter yer innocence".
Reaching through the slit in her pocket, Kay draws forth her father's battered-and-stained stiff black leather knife-sheath. It's reinforced with a dull grey metal (at the top and bottom) and embossed in silver with the words "MacDhomhnuill -- Per mare, per terras" ("By land or by sea") and a crest (a hand in armour in fess, proper, holding by the point a cross crosslet fitchy, gules). On the back is the sign of the claddagh -- two hands holding a heart which is topped by a crown (the hand of the Lord and the hand of the Lady, united in friendship and bound by loyalty).
From inside the sheath comes a sgian dhubh whose handle is wrapped with well-worn black leather cording. It carries the words "Per mare, per terras" engraved along its blade and a crest (matching that of the scabbard) on the pommel. A four-colour inlay (gold, silver, black and red) shines from a circle of dark hardwood on the pommel.
"This blade was entrusted to me by my father Colin, who received it from the hand of his father Malcolm. It was forged upon the Isle of Skye back on Terra, and I carry it in trust for the eldest of my future children", Kay said reverently. "Until such a day that I may replace it with a blade which is solely my own, I, Kassilda-Callisu Rhiannon MacDonald do offer the charge of guardianship of this blade to you, Melissa Ridenow, as a visible symbol of the bond between us.".
Melissa looked at the proffered blade with wide-eyed awe. A family heirloom! She looked up at Kay with startled eyes, and then back at the knife again. "Kay, it's beautiful. But...your family...are you sure...?" Then she looked again at Kay, and could already *feel* the girl's answer.
Hands shaking slightly, Melissa took the blade reverently, and nodded, swallowing hard.
Then after another moment, she looked up at Kay with a sheepish grin. "Um, I'm not sure what happens next." she said with an embarassed giggle.
A warm smile came in reply. "The way I understand things, the degree of formality of this ritual is a matter of personal choice", answered Kay. "What matters most is what's in our hearts, and I believe that I know what is in yours --- for me, that is more than enough. Carry that blade with both pride and honor as I will yours, ".
Melissa nodded. That much made perfect sense. She looked pointedly at the blade she had given to Kay. "I hope one day, to replace it with something nicer - something that fits you better." she said shyly.
Kay grinned back, "If it pleases you do so, that's ok .. but 'tis fine enough as it is". Her grin then turned very mischievous indeed. "And 'tis far easier to hide than Grand-dad's ever was --- all the more easier to catch an opponent by surprise", she chuckled.
With a wry grin, Kay slipped Melissa's knife into its sheath, which she secured into the harness on her thigh. "As to what next ... may your part be easier than mine ... the hour grows late, breda, and I haven't forgotten that I still owe my friend an explanation for my behaviour last night Thank you again for all your help ... I now have some idea what to say to him".
Then a pause before Kay continued "I should be returning to the base soon. It's likely that the longer I wait, the less willing he may be to forgive me for being so daft."
Melissa nodded again. "Just..." she searched herself for what she wanted to say. "...be honest." she finished. "If he's on Darkover, then he's at least conscious on the surface of the way things can be here. Perhaps you are the one who was needed to help him understand just that tiny bit better." she smiled warmly at Kay.
"Aye", came a soft answer in reply, "I will try my best. A harsh truth is far more honorable than a soothing lie. So I must face the consequences of my actions, whatever they were. It must have been awkward for him as well. I doubt that he's used to being visited late at night by a woman he'd just met. And he blushes at certain topics, just like Gwenn, so I have this nagging suspicion that I offered him some sort of improper intimacy. What I DON'T know is what it was, or if he accepted it ... maybe _that's_ why he was so embarrassed --- and a bit guilty too, I think".
Melissa schooled her expression carefully, so as not to give away her surprise. What in the world had Kay done? She didn't seem like the kind of girl who would lose control like that... She ached to learn more, but could tell that the topic upset Kay, and so therefore kept quiet.
"If you don't care to walk alone, I'd be willing to detour long enough to keep you company as far as the Castle gates", Kay added, glad that Melissa wasn't going to pry. "I hope you'll understand that I don't care to go any further --- especially not after last night".
With an understanding squeeze of Kay's hand, Melissa grinned. "It's fine, breda." the word fell smoothly yet strangely from her mouth. "I'm fine getting home on my own. But promise me - you'll give more thought to what I have explained to you...?"
More thought sounded like a good idea to Kay. This talent of hers wasn't going to just go away, nor did she want it to do so (no matter HOW much trouble it caused). And, as she'd discovered, her freakishness couldn't be hidden forever either. So much had been changing so quickly, which meant to Kay that she'd have to be alot more careful in the future. Now it was more than just herself she risked. "I shall consider what you've said", she promised, "And perhaps we might talk more of it tommorrow ... and if you'd like, I'll let you know how much success I have in cleaning up this mess I've made for myself. Until then, may the Goddess hold you safely within Her hands and smooth the path before you".
Melissa nodded. "you too...Breda." she smiled shyly at Kay, still a bit surprised by the sudden turn of events. Kay wished that she could explain more ... but hopefully _that_ would come the next day.