When Kay arrived at the gate (still shivering, because she hadn't thought to go back for her cloak after talking to Louis), she exclaimed gratefully "Melissa ! You're earlier than I expected, but that's wonderful! I'm so glad you're here. There's something I need to show you in my quarters, and I can't wait to tell you what happenned when --".
Then her voice cut off abruptly as she finally realized that the two of them weren't alone. Kay blushed a very, very deep red as she looked first at the gate guard (who turned away politely) and then at the stranger in the guard uniform.
"Oh !", she finally said, with a puzzled look as she turned back to Melissa, "I hadn't expected you to bring _company_ ... especially not of the male variety". NOW what was she going to do ? What she wanted to tell (and show) Melissa wasn't anything that she was comfortable doing with a complete stranger around.
Melissa smiled at Kay. "Don't worry - he's not coming in with me!". She turned to the guard, and asked him in Cahuenga to please go on back to the Castle - she would arrange an alternate escort for herself when she desired to return. He nodded and bowed to both Melissa and Kay, and then headed off the way he came.
Turning back to Kay, Melissa grinned. "Well? Where's the fire? What's so important?". Kay let out a nervous giggle. "I'll show you ... it's kind of a long story ... But first, let me tell you what happenned last night when I went to apologize to my friend for having been so forward with him the previous evening ...".
As they walked toward the residential area of the complex, Kay began to explain. "Remember how I told you that I thought I'd offered him some sort of ... ummm ... improper intimacy ? Well ... ummm ... well ... you see ... I asked him about it ... and ... um ... well ... not only is it that ... ummm ... I did ... offer ... but ... ummm ... well ... he accepted ... and that's why he felt guilty the next morning", she said, still blushing brightly. It was hard to explain this. But there wasn't any way to avoid it, and still be able to make Melissa understand the rest of the problems that had resulted from it.
"He thought he'd taken advantage of me, or unknowingly done something to hurt me somehow. And he actually tried to apologize to ME while I was trying to apologize to HIM", Kay added. She giggled at the sheer bizareness of it. "So I told him that, if anything, it was as at LEAST as much MY fault as it was HIS", she declared firmly.
As Kay spoke, Melissa nodded here and there, thinking to herself 'Oh, is that all?'
Feeling so embarassed that that she couldn't look straight at Melissa (out of fear of seeing dissaproving eyes looking back), Kay continued "But that didn't un-complicate much. He said that he wished he'd found someone like me sooner in his life. And ... and ... what we did ... ummmm ... well ... I ... I think that he'd very much like to do it again ... Oh breda, I'd never actually done THAT with a man before ... it was so different ... I hadn't expected ... and it was exciting and a little bit scary too ...".
Melissa stopped dead in her tracks. She turned and looked at Kay, her eyes wide. Kay looked at her toes. "What? Really? Who is this guy?"
Kay said softly "A friend ... and a co-worker, though not in my department". She then added sadly, "He's a good man ... and while I do feel some degree of attachment and affection towards him, I cannot claim to love him ...".
Melissa saw poor Kay's miserable little face, and smiled. "Kay, it's OK. There's nothing to be ahamed of, especially if you had fun!"
"But ...", Kay protested, still not looking up, "It was terribly forward of me ... if I'd been in my right mind, I doubt I would dared ... it's not for nothing that the base rumour mill refers to me as the Ice Princess ... several people stared at us in the cafeteria earlier this morning and it was so embarassing what they were saying --- some of it wasn't even TRUE".
"Are you OK about it? Do you know this guy very well? How do you feel?", Melissa inquired kindly. She couldn't help but ask, thinking to herself that _finally_ she had someone to discuss such matters with. Someone who would better understand her own feelings.
This was alot of difficult questions all at once. But how to best answer them? And there was more to it as well, Kay was certain of that. What was it that Melissa had left unsaid ? She wasn't sure, except for the fact that it was somehow related to all of this.
Kay sighed, absentmindedly starting to chew on the end of her braid. Then she realized what she was doing, and what a bad habit it was to do that. With a snort of self-disgust, she flipped the braid back over her shoulder and shoved both hands into her pockets.
"What I offerred him was something he thought he'd never find outside of a dream ... Oh Melissa, if you'd seen how much repressed pain and loneliness there was in him, it would have broken your heart. Yet, I'm not sure if I did the right thing ... now I've complicated his life, and I'm not entirely sure that it will be for the better", Kay began, "but all the smiths in Zandru's forge can't put an egg back together ... and I can't help feeling responsible for what I did ... it was an impulsive gesture ... I needed someone, and wasn't thinking about the possible consequences..."
"There's more to it, but I need to show you something first ... and I beg of you, by the bond between us, that you not share knowledge of this thing with ANYONE, not without my explicit permission", Kay added, a tinge of pale white beginning to accent the red of her blush again.
Melissa had listened to Kay quietly, nodding as she began to piece together what had happened. "Breda...of course not". She was reminded of the small wrapped bundle inside her cloak, and she patted it just to reassure herself that it was still there. "Oh, sorry, here I am asking you about such things while we're standing in the street like butchers' wives... Is there somewhere we can go that's more private?", she added.
With a nervous giggle, Kay replied "Oh, I AM being daft indeed ... I just couldn't wait until we got to my quarters ... we'd best go straight there ... it's this way ... don't expect much ... bachelor quarters are small, and the ones allotted to junior personnel are the smallest of them".
Melissa chuckled. "Can't be much smaller than the dormitory rooms they gave Morgana and I when we were away at school...". She rested her hand briefly on Kay's shoulder, and smiled. "Lead the way!".
A few minutes later (after entering a blocky buildings and navigating the twists and turns of several fairly anonymous-looking hallways), Kay stopped and pushed open a door. Orange light spilled out, along with the spicy-sweet-and-evergreen scent. "Welcome to my quarters", she said, with a grin, gesturing for Melissa to enter.
Melissa blinked in surprise as her eyes adjusted to the dim orange light. The scent of the forest filled her head as she stepped in to the small room. She turned to Kay with a grin. "I see what you mean. But why the light...?"
"Guess ...", came the reply teasingly, "I'll give you a hint ... it's a compromise solution". Kay didn't think that it would take Melissa long to remember how the colour of Terra's Sun differed from that of Darkover's Sun. A warm pale-orange had been the obvious choice. The hardest part had been finding the heat-proof filters for the light
Melissa took off her cloak and folded it at the end of the small bunk, placing the small bundle on top of it. Kay looked at the bundle curiously, but said nothing (she wasn't sure whether if was a gift, or simply something that Melissa had happenned to be carrying), as it would surely be impolite to ask.
Plants and candles were both in abundance along the walls and shelves in the room. It was the most interesting and comfortable non-Darkovan room Melissa had ever been in. Then she understood suddenly, and answered her own question about the light. "Oh," she said with a laugh, "I understand. It is a wonderful little place, Kay. You have worked magic in here! I feel very...at home."
"I'm glad you like it. I'm quite fond of it myself", came Kay's pleased reply. "Do have a seat while I pour us some jaco and unpack the nutbark buns ... I forgot to borrow an extra chair ... so take your pick, the chair or the bed", she invited.
Melissa sat down and looked at Kay with mock severity. "Now, young lady, tell me... What have you been getting yourself into?"
"I ... ummm... found ... something ... here at the base ... ", Kay began, very hesitantly and uncertainly, "The only other person who knows what I found, also found ... ummm ... something similar ... but we agreed to keep the whole thing secret -- at least until I'd gotten your advice ... it could get BOTH of us into BIG trouble, if what my ma told me is still true ... this is an awkward thing for me to be asking of you, breda mea, as it might get YOU into trouble for concealing knowledge of it .... but it might be dangerous and there aren't any other sorcerers I would trust --- except for maybe Dolo, but she's not here".
Melissa had to laugh at Kay's choice of wording. "Breda, if you're going to stay here for any length of time, you are going to have to get used to the idea that just because we have laran, it doesn't make us - sorcerers!"
Kay blushed, explaining "It may seem natural enough to YOU, who have grown up taking such things for granted. But until I came here, I thought most of these things no more than fiction: faery tales and scary tales, dreams and nightmares. It is ... difficult ... for me to adjust".
Then, serious, Melissa nodded. "Of course, I will give you the best advice I can...".
"I know I'm asking alot of you ... perhaps too much", admitted Kay, "and I don't think I'm explaining this right either. Maybe it's only dangerous if a person doesn't know the right precautions ... I don't know, and my friend knows even less ... Perhaps it's easier to just SHOW you instead of trying to tell you".
Melissa continued "But...it's hard to promise to keep it a secret without knowing what it's about - if it's very dangerous or a hazard in any way to people, then we really should tell the approriate people. I would feel terrible if something happened that I knew about, but did nothing to stop..." She trailed off, hoping that Kay could understand her predicament.
"But I couldn't possibly bring myself to show it to complete strangers. It's far too private. And in some cases, such a display would violate one of the strongest taboos of my people", Kay protested, turning very pale indeed, and starting to shiver, as if she were suddenly very cold, "And anyone without the Gift wouldn't understand anyways. Nay, if you decide that it's too dangerous to use, then I would choose to hide it again and forget all about it -- and not go off-base again for as long as I remain here". What she didn't mention to Melissa, was the fact that this last option had been her mother's choice many years ago.
Kay's commlink chimed suddenly, reminding her that it was almost end-of-shift time for the medical complex. "Umm ... Could I possibly ask you to wait here for a few minutes ... just while I go fetch something ? Then you can see it --- and also hear the WHOLE story of what happenned the night we found it".
Melissa nodded. "OK. Don't hurry." As Kay left, Melissa mulled over what she had said. ...such a display...? Hide _it_? what could it be? And it came from Kay's family? She had to admit, she was very intrigued.