Here is Kay's Character Profile : (last updated: 1 February 2006) * Name: Kay MacDonald * Gender: Female * Age: 30-something Terran Years (20-something Darkovan Years), but looks younger * Marital Status: Single (self-confirmed bachelor) * Citizenship: naturalized Terran Empire citizen * Occupation: Junior Civil Servant (Records Clerk) * Residence:A single-person room in the junior-ranking area of the Residential Complex at the Terran Base in Thendara, on Cottman IV * Laran Gift: I'm very good with most animals and sometime I get an instinctive feeling about people. My suspicion is that what my family used to call my "bit of fey weirdness" might come from what they call "laran" here. But I don't believe in telepathy -- I think I'm simply good at reading body language. I've never been formally tested for laran, and remain rather uncomfortable with the idea of displaying my "freak talent" in front of people. It's bad enough that ANYONE (even some of my few friends here) has seen ANY sign of it -- even the ones who acted like it was something entirely-normal. --> Note: Despite her empathy with people and animals, Kay has a strong mental barrier against telepathy, but doesn't know about it. Her unconscious mind formed it in desperate self-defense, to protect her sanity when she unknowingly went through threshold sickness back on Terra and was conviinced that "only crazy people hear voices in their heads". If any person tries to send to her, she won't notice anything more than perhaps a feeling of pressure or ringing in her ears, sometimes accompanied by a flash of an image or a vaugue impression of the emotional overtones of the message. This problem does NOT manifest when she's communicating with her closest animal companions, who mostly express themselves non-verbally (but occasionally will form a word or two scattered here and there). * Laran Training: No formal training. Initially self-taught by trial-and-error based on personal research in books/data-bases on Celtic myths, Wicca and the paranormal. Discovered books on Wicca while trying to deal with a rough adolescence, and spent part of a semester studying with a minor priestess of that religion. Lessons covered basic ethical principles, raising power, and grounding power. Discontinued lessons after mastering basic level, but continued to practice the religion. * Personal Politics: I consider myself to be very open-minded and tolerant. However, I'm far too jaded and world-wise to follow anyone blindly, or to remain loyal to anyone who has broken faith with me. In my opinion, words mean NOTHING unless they're backed up with matching actions. I look out for myself and my friends first, even though it makes me uncomfortable when this means that I have to bend/break Civil Service regulations. I tend to be rather cynical about any indivudual who holds civil/religious authority -- they must earn my loyalty in order to get my support. * Personality: "Still waters run deep", my father used to say. People often describe me as being fairly quiet and soft-spoken. I tend to watch and observe before making a decision. Those who don't know me well, often underestimate me --- which often gets me out of trouble that my curiousity has gotten me into. I need to have a "good feeling" about someone in order to be warmly-friendly. Otherwise, I'll fall back on formal politeness. My faith is in personal loyalty above all. So I'm strongly-loyal to towards those I love, and to those who have earned my respect. Overly-charming people make me suspicious about their intentions. I'm not easily offended or provoked, and I rarely hold a grudge. But when something does push me too far, then I hold a BIG grudge and I don't hesitate to fiercely-and-stubbornly defend myself, my beliefs and/or others. I'm also consider myself to be fairly bright (and wise enough to know when I'm better off pretending to be clueless). * Strengths: I'm persistent, hard-working and loyal to my proven friends. I'm also good with plants and animals, and at finding things in computer databases. * Weaknesses: I'm still too self-conscious too often, about using my "freak talents" in front of other people. And I feel guilty when I have trouble controlling them, and someone gets hurt because of MY actions -- I never meant to hurt Louis that one time, and I could have killed myself from overload that other time if Ceroill hadn't done what he did. Perhaps Dani and Melissa are right in what they seem to be encouraging me to do. But after so many years of hising it, it's perhaps more difficult for me than they realize. No matter how much yoga I do, I can't always keep an even-tempered-and-polite disposition. Violent conflict disturbs me, as do individuals who are broken-and-hurting. The greater the intensity, and the longer I'm exposed to it, the more awful it makes me feel. I'd rather avoid conflict, but THIS little kittykat WILL "snarl-and-slash" when provoked sufficiently. * Unarmed Combat Training: Not much more than a few basic self-defense lessons. I'm NOT afraid to hit people, but I'dd rather avoid trouble, unless severely provoked by neccesity. However, I DID grow up in a large family with brothers who eventually taught me (by example) how to "fight dirty" in an unarmed brawl when I believe that I'm in real danger. And I firmly believe that "good sportsmanship rules" are only for lessons and games -- if the neccessity of a situation forces me to stand- and-fight for REAL, then it's no-holds-barred all the way (regardless of how bad I feel when I think about it later). * Armed Combat Training: I'm entirely an amateur with no formal training. My usual tactics are to hit someone as hard as I can with whatever is close at hand. * Horseback Riding: When I was a girl, I took to this like a fish takes to swimming (both bareback and with a saddle) and did it regularly for many years. But I got out of practice over the last few years, due to a lack of time to pursue it. However, I'm certain that my muscles haven't forgotten how to do it, and how good it feels. * Interpersonal skills: Unless it's someone who I've got a strong "good feeling" about, I often prefer the company of animals or computers (or even my plants or a good book). But I can get along reasonably well enough (on a superficial level at least) with most people if I'm in the mood to do so. The only exception is when I get a "bad feeling" about someone, in which case it's difficult for me to be entirely-polite to them and to not avoid them if possible. Sometimes I'm not even sure WHY. But I put my trust in these instinctive feelings, and tend to act rather shy and socially-awkward when deprived of cues from them. I'd rather have people think I was shy or anti-social, rather than risk getting hurt by being wrong about someone -- afterall, sometimes the worst sleaze can be hidden inside a superficially attractive appearance. * Languages: Terran Standard: fluent in reading, writing and speaking (isn't the Terran education system wonderful ?) Reasonably-good reading/speaking of a Terran regional language known as "French" (but only average in writing it). I learned it from the data banks in order to be able to better appreciate some folk music and literature that I found in a library database. It's also often proven useful for me to be able to keep private notes in a language that isn't very well known outside of a few areas on Terra ... and the language has such richly musical-sounding cuss-words that it's so much more satifying for expressing myself. Gaelic (also spelled "gaidhlig"): It was good enough for Scots culture for many centuries, and it's still a fine language. This is what I've always spoken at home with my family, so I'm fully fluent in reading, writing and speaking it. Cahuenga: fluent because I spoke it with my grandmother when I was a child, but only average in reading and writing it. Casta: average ability to read, write and speak it (I learned this from lessons available in the Terran data banks, so my accent is likely just awful) Note: Normally I have a Terranan accent. But when I'm feeling stressed, my spoken cahuenga tends to pick up my paternal grandmother's hillfolk accent. * Appearance: I'm a wide-hipped, small-busted,long-legged slender woman only 5'8" tall. I have hazel (green-brown) somewhat-nearsighted eyes. My hair falls in loose waves to my waist (unless I braid it). It varies in color (depending on the lighting) from a rich chesnut brown to a deep auburn with copper highlights. If I'm on duty, then I have to wear my boring never-warm-enough standard black uniform, and often earn reprimands for partially-covering it with my warm wool cloak. Otherwise, I'll most often wear warm, attractive and comfortable casual Darkovan clothing. Here's a picture of me in my favourite party dress (the only one I brought with me from Terra, even though it's too fancy for everyday wear): * Family: Colin MacDonald (father) Ysaba MacDonald (mother, maiden name unknown) Malcolm MacDonald (paternal grandfather, deceased) Callisu MacDonald (paternal grandmother, deceased, maiden name unknown) Cassilda the younger (maternal grandmother, deceased, no known surname) Cassilda the elder (maternal great-grandmother, deceased, no known surname) Callista (paternal great-grandmother, deceased, no known surname) Gwenn MacConal (oath-brother) Dolo Leynier (oath-sister) Melissa Ridenow (oath-sister) * History: I grew up on Terra as the only child of two civil servants. When I was a young child, my father's mother was occassionally blessed/cursed with flashes of something she called the Second Sight. She once told me that her Goddess had shown her that I would someday develop a gift of my own (unfortunately, she didn't live long enough to see it happen). I first started to realize the truth of this when I was in my mid-teens. I was a "late-bloomer" and had been starting to wonder if I would EVER start turning from a girl into a woman. But I never expected that the change would make me feel so ill. Alot of things changed after a week in which I'd caught a really bad fever. It got so bad that I ended up out of my mind with delirium much of that time. And by the time I started to feel better, I noticed that my perception of much of the the world had changed significantly. Since my grandmother had already passed on by then, I foolishly tried to speak of these things to my mother, but it gave her nightmares about things that father said weren't real (but I didn't believe him). I felt guilty about being awoken by her screams, so I stopped talking about "weird". It gave me such a fright that I didn't mention my new perceptions (or my periods of "weird nightmares") again until I later started university and found a Wiccan circle. They didn't think I was too weird, and taught me about the proper sort of morals and ethics that keep us who are "a bit fey" from becoming monsters. I also learned how to ground myself so I can mostly block out outside influences from disturbing me. After university, I followed in my parents' footsteps by joining the Service and later chose to be transferred to Cottman IV (Darkover). Living with my parents on Terra lost its allure after the death of my paternal grandparents. My parents were strongly against my original choice of the Caer Donn base (my father grew up there himself and my parents once lived there), so I tried to lessen their discomfort by chosing the one in Thendara instead. But they're still angry that I would choose the world that they left behind. I don't understand why my parents are so bitterly and completely estranged from all other living members of our family that they will not so much as speak the names of any of these people. Why should it be such a bad thing that I would be curious about whether I have any living relatives on Cottman IV ? Even if they turned out to be unpleasant people, then at least I would have seen for myself. The only details I know, is that there was a family quarrel and that my father's mother ran from her family in the hills of Darkover in order to marry my Terran grandfather who worked at the Base in Caer Donn. Apparently, this caused a large split, which grew worse not long after I was born (somewhere in the flat lands east of Thendara among my mother's family). My mother Ysa NEVER spoke of her earlier life on Darkover, except to say that she wanted to put it all behind her, and that we went off-planet so she could be "finally safe from all those gene-warped freaks and crazies". I still don't understand what she means by that, and have often wondered. I asked my father once, and he told me that when he originally fell in love with her in Thendara, the only thing she was willing to tell him was "Call me Ysa. It's close enough that I'll remember to answer to it". She failed to appear at their usual meeting spot one day. He didn't see her again until a few years later, a day before transferring back to Terra to join his parents. I was a wee lass in her arms and it was obvious to him that she was desperately running away from something. She wouldn't give him any information other than "You can call her Kay, for the same reason that you call me Ysa. She's your daughter and we have nowhere else to go". My parents swore freemate vows to each other that evening, before we all left for Terra. One of my other few clues to her past, is scraps of memories from when I was in my early teens and was terribly sick and feverish for an entire week. When I told my first fever dream to my mother, she got very upset and begged me NEVER to mention anything that I wasn't certain other people had seen/heard. Later that night, I was startled awake by her having a nightmare. She kept screaming about people dying horribly, and shining blue gems shooting blue flames, and about being trapped in chains in a desert. Father said it was nothing and I should forget all about it -- but I never could. It seemed to be almost too much of a coincidence that my Ma and I would have had the same nightmare at the same time. After I got better, I found that I didn't quite fit in among my peers so well anymore. My mother was always saying "Safety is in NOT standing out from the herd --all else is likely to get you killed or make you crazy". For her sake, I would usually pretend to be just like everyone else, even though I felt like it was mostly a big lie. Certain people "felt wrong" or "felt right", so I'd act accordingly. I also started to spend almost as much time with animals as with people. Most strange animals would befriend me -- even ones whose owners described them as "anti-social". If I spend enough time with an animal, I'd bond with him/her. I couldn't explain how I did it, or why -- it just happenned. * Romantic relationships: What I do (or don't do) in private, is none of anyone else's business! So dinnae turn your lustful eyes to me, laddies. I'm not interested in dating any of you, and I'll nae fill such hunger. As much as I may sometimes enjoy the attention from certain friends, I have a long history of always backing way off at any indication of things going any farther than a friendly kiss. * Friends: I've sworn oath-kinship with Gwenn MacConal, who's in his first year with the Thendaran Guard. He's like the little brother that I always wished for (but never had), and he was the first person on the entire planet who made me feel less homesick. Sure, he's somewhat stubborn and over-protective, but he's also alot of fun. After Gwenn and Dolo Leynier swore hill-kinship to each other, I met Dolo and her oath-sister Melissa Ridenow. The two of them later became MY oath-sisters. Dolo and I are opposites in many ways. She over-awes me because she's so amazingly brave and bold and daring and outgoing and glamorous and always seems to get what she wants. But I often feel like a small-town fade-into-the-woodwork mouse in comparison. She's also very friendly and generous and extremely accomplished at convincing me to occasionally do something wild for a change. But sometimes I wonder what she ever sees in ME ? Melissa is so much easier for me to relate to, since she's more similar to me in personality. All my life, I've wanted a sister exactly like Melissa -- someone who was similar enough to really understand me and who wouldn't consider me "weird" for talking to animals and reading people. More than anyone else I've ever met, she seems to understand my "freak talent" and why I often feel so conflicted about it. She's another person who's gotten me out of trouble that my talent got me into, and can always be counted on to be discrete about it. I like Melissa's cousin Katie too. I'm quite certain that she DEFINITELY thinks I'm kinda weird. But she loves animals and knows alot about fixing what's wrong with them. She is the very embodiment of common sense, and doesn't seem to be afraid of ANYTHING. Sometimes I think that she would laugh out loud at some of my fears if she wasn't so polite. Out in the city, I've also met an interesting pair of older gentlemen. Mestru Ceroill Merrick and Master Tomas Painter, a couple of local shopkeepers. They both have quiet, calming presences that make me feel comfortable around them. I especially like that Ceroill is fond of both books and birds as I am. And he doesn't think that I'm disturbingly weird -- in spite of the way in which we met. Sometimes HE talks to animals too. It's nice to have an older friend who sees me as I am, and doesn't smother me with over-protectiveness. Except for my friend Louis Couvillon (a gynecologist/obstetrician at the medical clinic who also serves as a general practioner when needed), I barely know any of my co-workers at the base. So few of them seem to have anything in common with me, that it's difficult to relate to them and their ideas of fun. I also have a new student intern named Anwyn McCarron. She's a fellow Service Brat and a fine lass. Ever since we first met, I've had the urge to 'mother' her (especially once I recognized that she was also part-fey). It amazes me how quickly she can switch back and forth between the bold self-confidence of when her curiousity is leading her around, and the prim-and=proper little mouse that she becomes whe she's feeling uncomfortable with her surroundings. Maybe it's because she's a teenager. I used to get lonely at night in my quarters with no animal companions to keep me company. Back on Skye (that's an island on Terra), I had dogs, cats, horses, goats and sheep for company. Here, I was all alone -- until Oberon, Amadaine and Mairead. It can get somewhat crowded with having one human, two birds of prey and a kitten all living in the same small room. But sometimes Oberon lives at the bookstore "Leaves" in town when things get too crowded for his tastes (he's got a nest up in the attic there) and sometimes Mairead is off keeping Anwyn company. I also managed to make another friend through one of my misadventures Danette Lanart-Aldaran is like another big sister to me, and my research suggests that she might be my distant cousin. She's gotten me out of trouble several times already, but I'm still kinda in awe of her free-mate Connor (who radiates alot more *power* than ANYONE I've ever met). * Hobbies: I'm very much into horticulture, herbalism and knitting. I also enjoy exploring Thendara (but I always eat far too many treats at the Sweet Shop, and bring too few back for later). I haven't yet been horseback riding since I got here, but I would love to start doing that again. * Other Info: Though it doesn't appear officially in the Terran databanks, I was named Kasilda-Callisu after a couple of relatives who had been best-beloved of my mother. When we came to Terra, it was shortened to Kay so that I could fit in better. My father's mother was the only one who continued to use the long version (though I remember pleading with her not to use it in public). She told me that I should be proud of my unusual name, rather than hiding behind a unisex Terran short form of it. My middle name 'Rhiannon' is also unusual -- it's one of the ancient names used to invoke the Goddess I worship. My friend Gwenn MacConal offered me something called "hill-kinship", and I accepted. So he's now my oath-broather. It was due to him that I met both of my new oath-sisters. I requested being posted here from Terra (and received considerable ridicule for it). I don't see why some people consider it a punishment. Other than Terra, there's nowhere else I'd want to live -- even in spite of all my miadventures so far. One of my secret dreams is to find someone to teach me so I'll be more confident about being able to control the little laran I think I possess. But I don't want to be rejected (or harassed) for being part Terran, and I certainly don't to have anyone else running my life FOR me. I also worry that being around strong talents might make mine grow beyond what I can control. And what if my Ma's stories about the leroni (picturing them as demons and damned souls) were all true ? My other secret dream is to travel outside Thendara. If I dared, I'd go up to the Aldaran Domain, where I think I might find some of my father's relatives. I'm curious about them, but I wouldn't want to go pushing in where I'm not welcome. And they might not turn out to be the sort of people that I'd want trying to claim me. I've also heard there's a tower somewhere along that route, and wonder if they'd welcome inquiries from some strange Terranan woman (my gran Callisu might once have studied there, and someone might remember her). But it sure is a long way away from Thendara -- I don't know how I would ever get there. And I'm not sure that I'd want them to be able to get any sort of suspicion that that I might be anything other than a nosy Terranan doing geneological research.

Darkover On-Line Role Playing Game (RPG) -- MatrixOps site (no frames). Darkover On-Line Role Playing Game (RPG)-- -- MatrixOps_Tech site (with frames).