Tarnish
In the beginning
we held each other up
in the light
of discovery
You said that the words
to a certain song
were surely written for me -
do you still believe it?
You said I was
"too perfect"
perhaps you were too right -
were you?
I adored you well
and often
with the desperateness
of one so long apart
You impassioned me
with an unselfconsciousness
which I found surprising
but have learned
how much you know of you
You are sure
of your talents in that realm
and, why not?
For you are surely gifted
I am just
an old woman
afraid of life ahead;
clinging to you
A shred of what was, and
which shall never be -
you are not meant
for me alone...
How do I say goodbye
to your beauty, your youth
your heat & acumen
the closeness I began to trust
Yet couldn't fully accept
and have, finally,
pushed away...
I don't know how to love.
How do I say:
you are free to go
to seek whatyou deserve
and ultimately need
which shall never be me...
k.e.cline, 8/15/99, 10:40 a.m.
(Written on the morning he left for Bosnia & in light of how things have been for several weeks now between us...
I know the end is near.)