he sneaks to the bathroom door and spies Ben shooting more
steroids. (Nekkid Ben! ;-p) He tells Brian about it while they
walk to Babylon together. Brian, joint in hand, asks why do
gay men screw themselves up with drugs? Michael talks about
Ben's mood swings and Brian says it's "'Roid Rage". At
Babylon, Stockwell is enforcing his idea to make himself "pop".
Cops are everywhere outside, searching for drugs. Ted and
Emmett are waiting in line and the guys complain that they're
all getting punished because a few guys screwed up and OD'ed.
Brian has a guest pass, just for him and one other, and gets
himself and Michael in without any problems. Ted and Em
are left to get frisked for drugs.
Justin and Ethan are all cuddly in the bathtub together where
Justin suggests they play a game of "hide the soap". (Just the
way Harrison delivers that line is worth the price of admission!)
Ethan gets a phone call and talks excitedly with his agent before
hanging up and telling Justin that a member of the Harrisburg
symphony has had by-pass surgery. Justin sympathizes for the
guy but Ethan thinks it's great news! His agent has lined him up
to take the guy's place. Ethan's thrilled and Justin is happy for
him, but it's a bittersweet happiness. Justin says he wishes he
could be there but Glen The Agent would flip out. Ethan produces
two matching silver rings that he admits are cheap but supposedly
one of a kind. (Then how did you get two if they're "one of a
kind"? Don't tell me the jeweler specializes in cheap, ugly silver
"His And His" rings. Think, Sunshine, think about these things!)
Ethan says the rings are a way for them to be together even when
they're apart. (Yeah, too bad you don't subscribe to that theory,
creep. In case anyone's wondering, I'm not happy with Ethan this
week!) Justin puts on the ring but doesn't look over joyed to be
doing so.
At the Vanguard offices, Stockwell & Company play his campaign
ad for Brian and Vance, promoting Stockwell as "Citizen, War Hero,
Cop, Police Chief, Friend", blah, blah, blah. The promo is as up-
tight and boring as Stockwell is and Brian isn't going to sugar coat
it for him. It's fucking boring! Stockwell's flunkies say that 96% of
Stockwell's loyal supporters reacted favorably to the ad. Brian says
of course they did. They're his supporters, they intend to vote for
him anyhow. But what about the undecided ones? That is who
Stockwell has got to win over. Brian starts asking Stockwell about
some of his hobbies, does he play sports, work out? Things people
can relate to because they're not going to relate to a starched and
press uniform. Vance wants Brian to lighten up a little but Stockwell
says it's ok, he doesn't mind the truth, even if Brian does use it like
an assault weapon. He asks what Brian would suggest and Brian says
he needs to stop trying to sell himself as a hero and start trying to sell
himself as a man. Stockwell isn't too sure about that, but Brian says
it's his call. It's nothing to Brian. He has nothing to lose, but Stockwell
has an election at stake here.
The diner--Mel and Lindz are giving TEMMETT decorating tips
for the new place. The ladies think that since Ted/Em have moved
into a "different kind of neighborhood" then maybe they should
tone down with Em's style a little. Neither agree with the women.
Deb comes over then and tells Ted that he didn't hear it from her
because she didn't hear it from her cop boyfriend, but a certain
Police Chief Wannabe Mayor is trying to get some press attention
by going after sex-related business, such as porn sites. Ted thanks
her for the tip but assures that everything is in order with his site.
Deb says not to thank her. Brian strolls in then and she snarls that
they can all thank "Benedict Arnold" Kinney for Stockwell and his
campaign ideas. Brian advises her to learn how to separate her
personal feelings from business. He orders pea soup and Debbie tells
Justin to piss in it first. Ha, ha. Justin brings Brian his pea soup--
hopefully minus the piss--and Brian notices the ring. He asks were
Justin got it from and Justin almost looks embarrassed as he says
Ethan. "How romantic", Brian sarcastically drawls. (On second
thought, I hope Justin did piss in that soup after all.) "Fuck all you
know about romance," Justin replies. Brian tells Justin to keep the
change from the $20 he used to pay for his Piss, uh, Pea Soup. Justin
says it's a big tip and Brian snidely suggests that Justin use it to buy
Ethan some flowers as he exits the diner.
Michael has printed some info off from the Internet about the dangers
of steroid use and tries to talk to Ben about it. A very defensive Ben
says he's doing it to fight body waste. He's done his own research. He
justifies it that he's just trying it to see if it will help and so far the
advantages are beating the disadvantages. He flexes for Michael and
they proceed to some loving.
Brian shots film of Stockwell playing basketball with his son and
some other kids with a new, more personal message about cleaning
up the streets and making them safe for family again. Brian really
*can* sell anything because he actually makes Stockwell look decent!
And where they cruising each other for a moment there? Shall we dub
then B/S? That's about what they'd be in my book since Stockwell is
almost as thrilling as watching a bull shit. Anyhow, after the filming,
Stockwell asks what Brian thought and Brian says if he didn't know
any better, he'd swear old Stocky was Tom Cruise. Heh, heh, heh. I
seriously *doubt* he was referring to the man's acting ability. Perhaps
him being a closet case. Oh, great, thanks "QAF", now you're going to
get me sued for saying that Cruise is gay!
At the website, Ted is doing an "inspection" with his assistant Andrew
and I swear this is a different Andrew than the one we had last season.
Everything is in order there, no code violations, no illegal workers. He's
positive that everything is fine . . . which means it's about to go to Hell!
Ethan is at the apartment, being interviewed by a reporter about his up-
coming performance. Female Reporter is laying it on thick and clearly
flirting with Ethan who's flirting back (the bastard)! Justin and Daphne
walk in then and Ethan hastens to introduce them as "his cousin and his
cousin's girlfriend". Justin understands what Ethan is implying--Don't
out me to the reporter. Ethan basically dismisses Justin and tells them
to come back later. Justin and a very confused Daphne leave. Ethan
goes back to flirting with the reporter. She asks if he has a girlfriend and
he says he doesn't like to talk about that. Reporter assumes that means
"yes" and Ethan lets her believe it.
Justin and Daphne are sitting on the curb outside the apartment,
smoking together. Daph demands to know that is going on and
Justin explains to her that Ethan has to stay closeted. Daph asks
who would care who a violinist is involved with? Justin doesn't
know, but he agreed to go along. Daph says that Brian may not
have been the perfect boyfriend in Justin's eyes, but at least he
never asked Justin to lie. Justin rationalizes that Brian never had
his whole future at stake like Ethan does. Daph is still pissed about
it. Justin almost died because he came out. How can he go back in
for anyone? Justin is clearly miserable with this decision and tells
Daph that he doesn't want to talk about it. Daphne goes on to say
that it's unfair of Ethan to make Justin pretend he's something he's
not and Justin snaps at Daphne to mind her own business.
At TEMMETT's new house, the neighbor drop by to meet "Mr. &
Mrs. Schmidt". Her name is Sunny. Everybody calls her Sunny,
perhaps because of her Sunny smile! She's baked them a cake, that
sweet Sunny! Sunny is taken back at first to learn that a gay couple
have moved in, but she goes on to rave that they'll fit right in. It's
such a nice neighborhood with good churches and schools and baby-
sitters. (Dear Sunny, I don't think TEMMETT are interested.) Sunny
says it's a tradition to have a cocktail party for the new neighbors and
she will host one that Friday night. Chipper, Happy Sunny speaks of
what exquisite taste the former owners of the house had and she looks
forward to seeing what Ted and Em plan on doing. Happy Sunny leaves.
At Deb's, her ring falls behind the refrigerator and SuperSteroidBen
moves it with ease to save the ring in distress! Ben goes to the bath-
room and Deb asks if Ben is getting bigger? What's his secret? Michael
tries to evade the question with lame answers like "vitamin supplements"
and "protein shakes". Vic knows better and asks if it's steroids and
Mikey doesn't deny. Debbie starts to lecture about the dangers of what
Ben is doing but Michael defends Ben, saying Ben should do what he has
to do to stay healthy. Vic can't argue with that, as long as that's the reason
Ben is really doing it.
At Vanguard, everyone is viewing the new ad campaign that Brian has
done for Stockwell. His staff hates it and thinks it looks like a music
video. Stockwell gives it the thumbs up, but warns that if Brian makes
a fool out of him, he'll have Brian's balls. Vance says if Brian does that,
he'll give them to Vance.
Ted comes home to find that Emmett is dressed like some prep school
kid and thinking of going with more toned down colors and decorations
for the house. Ted's against the idea. Em says that back home, he used
to look at those big houses on the hill where the "right people" lived and
he wanted to be there. He wants to fit in and not stand out. Not be the
"fags next door", Ted inquires. Ted says that if that is people's attitudes
towards them then they will feel that way regardless and say it behind their
backs if not to their faces. Ted doesn't care what the neighbors think. He
wants them to be themselves. He picks out Emmett's flashiest shirt to wear
to the cocktail party and Em is back to his old self. (Have I mentioned how
much I'm enjoying TEMMETT?)
Ben is buying more steroids in the gym locker room when Brian walks
in and sees him. Brian doesn't say anything so Ben strolls over and tries
to make light of it. Unlike Ben, Brian's not buying today. Brian says he
thought that Michael was going to talk to Ben about it and Ben says that
they did and Michael understands. Brian drawls that that's Mikey for you,
always understanding. Ben snarls that Brian should mind his own business
and Brian says he would if it were just Ben, but Ben is taking Michael down
with him. Ben gets furious, slamming Brian roughly into the lockers and
declaring that he doesn't need a lecture from the biggest whore in Pittsburgh!
Brian is lucky that he is positive. Ben storms off and Brian grimaces in pain.
At their apartment, it would appear that Ethan is blowing Justin. I don't
know for sure since it's the "Nose Cam Director" who loves those annoying,
extreme close-ups and shots that focus on nothing. So Ethan is either blowing
Justin or, I dunno, clipping his toenails, maybe. Justin isn't very into it and
Ethan thinks it's because Justin is ticked about the interview and what
happened earlier. Justin says no, but Daphne was. Justin asks if things will
always be like "this" with them now. Will they always be lying and playing
games and hiding, Ethan going away and he can't even attend a recital. Ethan
doesn't know. He could bomb and his career be over for good. Or he could
make it big and they could have a fabulous life. He was thinking that they'd
buy a farmhouse with a practice room for him and an art studio for Justin.
Justin says that Ethan dreams big. Ethan replies that dreaming doesn't cost
anything. Justin calls Ethan a "romantic". Ethan says he hates that Justin
can't be at his performance, but Justin hates it more. "What will I do without
my muse?" Ethan asks. (I'm sure you'll think of something, asshole.) Justin
says Ethan will do fine, besides didn't he once say Justin was a distraction?
Ethan says that he only plays for Justin and goes back to clipping Justin's
toenails.
Michael comes to the loft to pick up Brian for an evening out at Babylon
and sees the cut and bruise on Brian's back. Michael jokingly asks if one
of Brian's sex partners got rough and Brian says no, it was one of Michael's.
Ben did this because Brian tried to talk to him. Michael gets mad at Brian
and asks why he said anything and Brian drawls "because it's undignified
for a university professor to be seen making drug deals in a locker room".
Besides, he thought Michael was going to talk to Ben about this. Mikey
parrots Ben's excuses for the justification of steroid use, but Brian still ain't
buying. If Michael wants to sleep with a hatchet under his pillow and one
eye open, that's fine with Brian, but he better keep Ben away from Brian
from now on.
Justin is seeing Ethan off. Ethan is still spewing his romantic crapola
that no one's believing anymore. He says that Justin will be with him
since they have these rings that will keep them connected even when
they're apart. Justin calls him a cornball. I have a few other adjectives,
most of them consisting of four letters. (Note: Charley is no longer
happy with Ethan.) Ethan says that is why Justin loves him and the look
that crosses Justin's face doesn't seem to be one of agreement. Ethan
gets in the cab and it drives away.
Brian's ad for Stockwell was quite the success! Stockwell has gone
up 8 points in the polls since it began to air. Stockwell tells Brian
that he had every faith in Brian and Brian says no he didn't, but
Stockwell took a chance anyhow. Vance asks what Brian thinks the
next move should be. Brian advises Stockwell to keep his face in the
news and let Brian take care of the rest.
Ted and Emmett attend their neighbor's cocktail party. All the
couples in the neighborhood are heterosexual and treat TEMMETT
like their pet gays. I swear, it's like reading the Showtime Message
Boards! "We watch that show, you know, about the gay people!"
(Reference to 'Gay as Blazes' that was the joke of season 2. Well,
all of season 2 was basically a joke, but at least this season's writers
seem to be using their senses of humor for good rather than evil.)
'Gay as Blazes' has taught them that "gay people have problems to!".
One neighbor has a cousin who's a lesbian, she just thought they
should know that. (I told ya, it's the SHO board!) Ted and Em aren't
sure what they have gotten themselves into!
Ethan's performance was a big success and everyone is fawning over
him as he mingles with the crowd afterwards. His agent tells him that
he plays his admirers as well as he plays a violin. His agent has set up
another performance for him. They're standing at the top of a staircase
talking and below Justin Taylor is mingling in the crowd, trying to hide
in plain sight. He waits until Glen The Agent leaves before making a
move to approach Ethan. Only he's stopped short when a cute guy
comes over to Ethan and they start flirting with each other. A crushed
Justin watches as Ethan is clearly coming onto the guy, leaning over and
whispering something in Trick's ear that Trick nods yes to. Trick and
Ethan make a big display of acting as if Trick was only complimenting
Ethan, Ethan thanks him, and Trick walks off. Ethan glances around to
make sure that no one is noticing before he follows Trick. Justin is
devastated.
(Interesting to note that Justin gets his disillusionment in the same way
he first got interested in Ethan. After a recital, a nervous young man
walks over to praise the musician who openly flirts and gets the interest
of the admirer. Sound familiar? It should since that is how Justin first
met Ethan and that is how he sees Ethan's true nature as Ethan is pulling
the same shit on someone else. It seems that that is how our violinist
responds to anyone stroking his inflated ego about his music--to flirt
openly. Did it with Justin last season, the reporter earlier in this episode,
and now this new guy. So I guess Justin wasn't much of a "distraction" in
216 after all, just an unwitting participant in Ethan's favorite game--"Play
The Admirer Like A Violin".)
Back at the cocktail party, Emmett tells a few of the ladies that he'd
like to become a party planner and the women are all interested in
hiring him. The ringing doorbell is answered to reveal a couple of
cops who are there to arrest Ted. Apparently, his assistant Andrew
is not 21 as he lied and told Ted that he was. He's underage. Ted
gets hauled off to jail and the neighbors have much to talk about!
Ben is throwing up in the bathroom and Michael is finally realizing
just how serious this is becoming and tries to talk to Ben again. The
steroids are messing Ben up and he doesn't even realize it. He can't
keep doing this, taking them, acting like a crazy man, shoving people
around. Defensive, Irate Ben says that Michael has no idea what it's
like to be positive. What Ben has to live with every day, dreading that
every little sniffle or cough could be more. Because to Michael it is
nothing more than a sniffle, but to him it could be so much worse.
Michael doesn't know how he fears that no matter how careful he is,
he might infect Michael. Sometimes he thinks it might be easier to be
with someone who is positive as well. Michael is the hurt one now and
both he and Ben are in tears by the end of the scene.
At Woody's, Justin sits alone, drinking at the bar, toying with the ring
he's wearing. Brian watches him for a moment before coming over and
sitting down beside him. Brian asks if Justin wants another drink and
Justin says no. Brian asks where Justin's "fianc�" is and Justin says
that Ethan is off playing somewhere. (Yeah, and we know what, or
should I say who, the prick is playing with, don't we?) Brian points to
the ring, "Luckily you have this". Brian gets up and walks away as the
Justin symbolically strikes a match from the matchbook Brian used a
moment before to light his cigarette. Hmmmm, rekindling an old
flame, perhaps? The camera focuses in on Justin's sad, sad eye as the
scene fades to black. (Yeah, just one eye because this is the annoying
director.)
Next week, Ted's arrest is in all the papers and, God help him, he's
hired Mel to be his lawyer! Michael saying that Ben wants someone
who understands what he's going through as Mikey holds a syringe
full of steroids. Mel's pregnancy test comes back blue. And Ethan is
still spewing lies, but his new trick is in town looking for him.