Ardra told me I wasn�t going to be bitter till after 3-6. I think she misjudged my tolerance of contrived plots and inanities of a show destined to never go further than my left foot. After the depths we roamed through last week this week was a pitiful attempt to make me laugh and excellent job of pissing me off. Last week I wanted to help Kinney. This week, I want his balls!
Last week on QAF: Skank and Susie Homemaker went through the list of eligible sperm donors. We were introduced to the whole Satanic Kinney clan and boy they make the Manson Family look ideal. Mikey whined per the norm, and the �jungle juice� affected Ben. Michael was chosen Sperm Donor of the Year by a panel of morons�I mean Susie and Skank. Temmett had another melt down which was averted and Super Twink to the rescue. You got the drinks ready? Ok, lets shake dude.
We begin this week with a �Crazy Little Thing Called Love�. The girls and Mike are at the Sperm Bank. Now what I don�t get is why the only other patrons here seem to be middle-aged men and their grandmothers. These people look like they should be knee deep in the terrible teens by now, not just starting out. Plus, they all look a bit rough if you catch my drift. Why can�t they learn to edit properly. The bald guy with the woolly jumper sat down on my left side of grandma and in the next shot he�s sitting on the right. You know, c�mon, get with the program Cowlip. It�s season three already. Meanwhile none of these people seem real happy to be there. Lindsay pats Mike�s knee and asks him if he�s nervous. He says touching him is counter-productive. For some reason I think this is the Free Sperm Donor Clinic, because usually the way I�ve seen these places, they are very high class and posh, not some run down seedy looking hell hole that Mr. Clean forgot to visit.
Melanie asks Michael why he�s fidgeting and he says because he hasn�t touched himself in three days. My first thought is, dear Lord man I hope you at least showered because if you haven�t you�d be fidgeting from the lice and dysentery. C�mon Cowlip I think a man can go three days without touching himself, especially when you�re stuck in some third world country, the last thing on your mind is getting some. Sheesh! The nurse calls for Michael and the girls stand up and kiss him, sending him off like he�s going to war and everyone in the place is eyeing them like, what the fuck? It also looks as if Lindsay grabs him by the pecker just to make sure he�s got one before sending him off to make good on his promise.
Usually I would say something about Cowlip�s use of minorities on the show but this Black Nurse is killing me. She�s very matter-of-fact and really wants to go home and I guess Mike is the last one of the day so I�m not sure why there were people in the waiting room. Anywho she gives Michael the standard specimen cup and he utters, �A little optimistic aren�t we?� For that lame ass comment he gets an eye-roll from my girl. You know he�s a moron so you know we have to let it go THIS time. Nurse gives him a box of Kleenex to clean himself up with afterward, shows him the lubricant, and she mentions the July issue of Hustler is nasty, eww. She tells Moron Junior not to take too long because the clinic closes at five. Michael says he hopes they both get off by then which earns him a patent Max eye-roll. Mike looks at the specimen cup like he�s never seen one before letting me further know he�s an idiot. He comments, �There isn�t s dick in sight.� Well no shit for brains there isn�t, you should have brought your own material because I definitely would not be going near the July Hustler! I don�t understand why he thought Hustler would have a dick in sight but then again he is Michael Novotny, Idiot Extraordinaire.
At the finals for the Heifitz, did I spell that right? You know I could give a rat�s ass less�[we all know my typos are legendary] oh and look; it�s the return of none other than Rat King himself. As they are walking backstage Justin asks Ethan if he�s nervous. Instead of just saying yes, Ethan responds, �I�ll take questions whose answers are painfully obvious for $100.00 Alex.� I wonder if they are paying the writers on this show per word? I wonder, hmmm�. Well anyway, let�s take a look at the competition. Everyone else is dressed up in a coat and tie or a nice black dress and Ethan comes waddling in there with some raggedy ass jeans on some white shirt unbuttoned and a wife-beater underneath and a black jacket completing his ensemble. Justin looks just as artsy but he can because he isn�t performing! Why in the hell would you wear crap like that to the finals of the Heifitz? The judges should take one look at him and deduct points for not being in proper attire. Only Kenny G can get away with stuff like this but he isn�t playing before judges for a prize he�s sought his whole life for. They keep playing Jeopardy letting me know times almost up for these two.
Ethan let�s us know his grandpa is ill and couldn�t make it so now he says he�s playing for Justin. Justin is his muse. Ethan used to play for his grandfather but now it�s all for Justin. So, Ethan slow motion walks out on stage looking like he and a Zest bar of soap need to make a close encounter and begins playing his signature piece. He scrunches his face and I don�t get it. When I�m tickling the ivories I don�t look like I�m taking a dump but I do get in my zone so I�ll let it slide because musicians are a strange lot, really all artist are, but it�s our prerogative to play the way we feel and let our emotions run wild. I do it when I write.
Back at the clinic Michael looks as if he�s trying to find himself because I�ll be damned he should be finished by now if he hasn�t touched himself in three days. He also must be hurting because he seems like he�s in pain. Michael either has Turret Syndrome or is in the midst of a serious stroke. I mean he looks like his life is in peril. Someone call 911! Then we move to Liberty Avenue and for a second I was about to call Cowlip and ask what the hell is going on here but then I soon found out. Debbie�s out garnering people to register to vote and of course she�d have a better time selling them the July edition of Hustler than registering them to vote. Why does Sharon Gless�s wardrobe look like rejects from Bea Arthur when she played Dorothy on the Golden Girls? I wish she�d stop living in the 80�s and join the rest of us in 2003. Brian walks up and of course he�s not interested in voting either, it�s something else he doesn�t do. You know Brian�s reasoning for not voting is the reason George Bush is in the White House now, that and the fact these low-life scumbags from Tennessee couldn�t show a little pride and vote for the hometown boy. But you just wait when you keel over from lack of oxygen and when they blow us off the face of the earth don�t say I didn�t warn you.
Back to Ethan and his fiddle. He�s playing his heart out and Michael is beating so hard he should be raw by now! The nurse is also banging on the door telling him the cleaning crew would like to get in there and she�d like to go home. Seems Michael can�t get it up. He should see if Ted has some Viagra left. Ethan is done and is exhausted, I would be too and Michael is 0 for 1. Then we move back to Liberty Avenue and poor Jennifer is still not able to get the gay boys to stop and give her the time of day. She should enlist Justin to give her a hand. She runs into Temmett. Temmett tells Jennifer about the house hunting and she offers to be their realtor and they accept. Jennifer knows how to turn a rough day into dollars. I bet she could sell anything. She�s unassuming and then hits home with the point. She�s a mother alright.
Ethan is standing on stage waiting to receive his prize and then the man calls out Lin Lu�s name and Ethan looks like the dirt just got washed off him. Justin stops clapping and looks nervous. After the shock and awe of not winning Justin is comforting him telling him he was wonderful. See, that�s what I hate the most. I really don�t want someone trying to boost my ego when I�d like to take a few minutes and wallow in self-pity. Ethan says he fucked up the cantabile but good. Poor thing I feel his pain, but if it�s any consolation Michael didn�t bring home the gold either so you both can commiserate on being not so great as you once thought. Now here is my little saying on performance. Sometimes it is better to have not raced and not lost than to have raced and fell flat on your ass or come in dead last. At least your ego is safe. Now that Ethan has been told he�s not the shit he thought he was [see I told you his shit stank] I wonder what going to happen to Just Slumming� [Whereverthefuck] now that he�s jinxed Ethan. I guess playing for Justin really wasn�t enough to get the job done. Should have stuck with grandpa.
Then Glen Bishop from Artist Management Associates introduces himself to Rat King and Just Slumming. Justin then introduces himself as �moral support� letting us know he�s sort of in the closet as well on this relationship. Why couldn�t he just say, �I�m Justin.� Why do we need the commentary, that�s my job thank you very much! Glen says Ethan gave a �dazzling� performance. I wonder where I�ve heard that adjective before and who utilized it. I remember some ladies I know saying they heard that word and it made their �baby-makers twitch�. Did it do it again this time? Hee! I�m going to stop right there before I get myself in trouble. Glen says Ethan has presence and virtuosity; Ethan has �the look�. Well he does look way clean after losing to the champ. Ethan says he�s going home to Philadelphia in the morning but not before a few drinks. He�s still pissed but this guy is bringing him out of the dull drums and Ethan asks as an after thought if Glen will buy drinks for him and his boyfriend, throwing a thumb point to Justin.
We go to �What the Hell is this Place� and Michael rationalizing�wait I doubt he can spell that so let�s use another word�let�s try *whining* about his lack of ejaculate. [Yes I�m not going to be skuzzy and use colloquiums; I�ll use proper English and try not to bastardize it too much]
Michael: It doesn�t help that there is a room full of people right outside the door who know exactly what you�re doing. [Really, I thought they might have mistaken you for a delivery boy. Jeez, how dense is he?]
Brian: Well you should have left the door open. [He�s not you King Dick. He can�t just get it anywhere he wants to these days without consequence] What could be hotter than having a bunch of breeders watch you while you jerk off. [I�m telling you his balls are going to end up in a vice if he doesn�t cease and desist with the hate.]
Michael: Even you wouldn�t do that.
Brian: That�s true; I went down to the Gravel Pit and watched while some guy took it up the butt from a conga line. [Dare I even ask? I thought not some things are best left in obscurity]
Michael: You whipped up the batter that eventually became Gus in a sex club, that�s disgusting. [You ain�t never lied. That�s just gross. I mean what kind of contaminates got in that mix. No wonder Gus looks drugged. That �batter� {we�ll discuss this in a moment) probably had all kinds of airborne allergens and things in there. Poor Gus your daddy is a slut.]
Brian: Not like looking at pictures of some twat spread her lips in some cum stained copy of Hustler.
Debbie: Which one of you said �hold the mayo�?
Brian: That would be Mr. Miracle Whipper. [That�s the last time I buy that product. That�s gross.]
Debbie: [Exuberant as always] How did it go? Huh? Did you shoot your load? I bet it was a whopper. The Grassi side of the family are Italian Stallions, all of them
Brian: [Open-mouthed nods his head] Well this one didn�t pony up. [Hee, it�s just too much. Seem Michael is a lame horse and you know what we do with lame horses? They end up as Elmer�s glue.]
Michael is not real happy Brian announces the news of his impending glue factory home. He says his first duty as a father and he blew it�well not really so don�t say things like that.
Debbie: What happened honey, tell me� Well don�t be so hard on yourself. [Brian says he wouldn�t mention hard-on, hee.]
Debbie goes on to talk about performance anxiety which Brian has never heard of except in 202 when trick told him he was highly overrated. Debbie wants to know who could get it up in such a sterile environment and of course Brian raises his hand because you know he�s still 17, he can get it up watching paint dry. Debbie tells Michael to have Ben pull it for him. Michael is outraged and rightly so. So Debbie throws up he hands and says, �Handle it yourself.� Brian chimes in and says, �He already has.� Michael then stands up in the middle of the Diner and announces to the world that it�s none of their business and then says he�s going home to �whack off�. Oh poor Tooly Mc Tool.
If my mother or for that matter another human being and myself had this conversation they would be dead. Debbie needs to get a fucking life and move on and stop dominating Michael�s life. No wonder he can�t piss or ejaculate. His body is trying to stop him from making a mistake, a big mistake.
At the upscale caf�, Glen is telling Ethan about what he does. Ethan asks if Glen is an agent. Glen says he is a talent representative. So basically he is a glorified agent with a multi-syllable title. Then just like Tooly Mc Tool, Rat King asks why. Rat King doesn�t understand. He didn�t win, we wasn�t the best. Glen asks if Ethan has checked out the classical department of a music store lately. Rat King says yes, he makes his own CD�s and likes to check the competition. I frankly like all my classical music to come from NAXOS because I find it high quality. If I wanted contemporary classical I�d shoot myself first. I like old world philharmonic pieces. Only true classical for this gentleman. After Glen tells all about concerts, and tours and the like Ethan asks, �So are you saying you want to represent me?� Well no shit Sherlock. I�m sure the man didn�t invite you for drinks with Just Slumming, your boyfriend, to ask you for a tryst. Glen says Ethan has the look and he�s a talent Glen can sell. Ethan goes on to ask if he�s going to be a commodity, which I swear to the Almighty those petroleum products have clogged his brain cells and strangled half of them to death. Ethan says commodity like he told Justin that first morning, �Is there any other kind?� I swear I wish he�d stop trying to play Shaft. He�s not. He�s more like Rick James on acid.
Glen then tells Ethan after Justin goes to the boys room that if Ethan should sign, he doesn�t want to see Justin again. �As far as you professional career is concerned he doesn�t exist.� Glen says. Ethan is aghast but I see where Glen is going so I nod my head. I also want to take note of the looks Justin and Ethan gave each other during this scene. They looked quite sinister, possibly foreshadowing some strife to come?
Brian and Vance are at some political do and Vance is scoping out all the would be clients. To hurl an anvil at us Cowlip make sure we get the point by not only overlaying a periscope image but also making the sonar ping noise just to hammer the point home. You know Camper said that we don�t so subtlety in the U.S., she sure as hell wasn�t lying. Brian sees a fellow traveler and decides he�s going to �fire a torpedo, captain.� Here I was thinking new trick was going to have his battleship sunk. Ok, I�m going to project myself as Brian for a second. I don�t know about the other menfolk but if I were to do something like that I�d have stuff spraying everywhere marking my territory. Not to say I�m untidy, but I can almost assure you someone would have a stain on his trousers and it damn sure wouldn�t be me! But wait I�d have on a condom so it really wouldn�t matter, but I don�t think I�d want to be covered in semen for the rest of the day because you know he didn�t clean himself after. Because where would he do so? Not the toilet water, that�s gross. I�m all for enjoying the afterglow but I�d like to be where I could wash up after we�ve calmed down and gotten our needs met. No sense running off but you want to come back to bed refreshed and nicely scented from energy rush Zest. Ok I�m stopping here, I�ve said too much already.
After Brian is finished with his interlude and makes small talk with the candidate. He dissects what�s his face�s campaign strategy and tells him it�s for shit. Gives him his card and leaves.
At the home of Ben and Michael, it�s five thirty in the morning. Ben is dressed and about to leave. He says he has a class at eight. Hold up Benji the Insane. I want professors who may read this to tell me if they would leave home at five thirty in the morning for an eight o�clock class. Hell I wouldn�t even stir until 7:45 for an eight o�clock class. I�d roll out of bed, brush them teeth, roll into some clothes and roll on to class. Come back after because who would set themselves up for that insult of have back to back classes that early in the morning and shower, grab a bite to eat and get the day rolling full steam. We know where Benji is going and damn if Michael hasn�t asked him one question about the recent mood swings and obsession with the gym. Michael wants Ben to stay and help whip up a batch. Michael whines that he�s on a tight schedule. Ben�s had enough, he�s got a tight schedule too! Ben says he has to go and NOW! Say a prayer for the Tool would you.
Later that day Justin and Ethan are walking and Justin is go on ad nosium about how he�s going to tell people his boyfriend is going to be famous. Seems Ethan hasn�t broken the good news yet that he�s going back where he came from, the closet. Maybe before he comes out again he�ll shave that pubic hair under his chin. Now if you are like me you are wondering who the hell is Justin going to brag to. I for the life of me can�t figure out who he plans on telling since he doesn�t have any friends and Ethan�s friends didn�t even have the tits and balls to come cheer for their friend. Yeah seems the lip service they paid two episodes ago really isn�t worth a damn.
To hopefully find people who will care, Justin says he�s going to the Diner. Oh wow I bet they�ll all just hug him and kiss him and wish him all the best. Maybe if they weren�t so damned apathetic they might even spit on him but I doubt it seriously. I doubt these people would even fart for Ethan so Justin better take out an ad in next month�s Out. Ethan, to quell his boy�s exuberance, tells him the condition of the contract. He says he has to be straight. Justin looks at him like huh? Ethan goes on to explain what he means by straight and Justin, his mouth hung open does not believe this. Why is it I can?
Ethan walks like a duck by the way. I had a friend in college who walked the same way. He was pigeon toed. He also thought he was God�s gift to manhood, but I digress. Ethan reminds me of him. You know they could have been brothers. Ok I�ve got to call my friends now and tell them, we can laugh our asses off about this one for a good six weeks. Hee. I�m going to be sick and you all better show some love for what I�m about to type and look at ok.
Ethan: Absolutely nothing. It�s all about the album cover, having some young hot stud with tousled hair [he tousles his hair], shirt unbuttoned down to hear [pointing to his navel], stroking his violin [he air plays his fiddle]. You don�t think Ethan sees himself as a �young hot stud� do you? God perish the thought and the way he says it makes my skin crawl. The way he�s pimping as he walks, I don�t know how many times I can yell this at the tv before someone will hear me, �YOU ARE NOT ALL THAT AND A BOWL OF SALSA TOO! STOP TRYING TO BE SHAFT, YOU AREN�T BLACK ENOUGH, NO ONE IS!� If he would wash his face with some Clearasil I bet he�s whiter than Michael Jackson!� Oh maybe he�s trying to be the Poor Man�s Rick James. Now that is a title he could be up for.
Now Justin asks after Ethan mentions the evil girl�s name again, �Where does this leave us?� Ethan, the better man than Brian Kinney says, �together.� For that alone Ethan has redeemed himself, but don�t worry he�s going to fall from grace. You know Cain killed Abel.
In Brian�s office we get to see Cynthia again. She�s a peach this girl, I wish she�d plant a heel in Kinney�s ass though, but never mind me. Seems what�s his face a.k.a. Stockwell has come seeking the counsel of an ad man. He brought some of his lip service with him and Brian tells them Stockwell has to find something that will make him pop. Un huh, like I care. Call me when this story line gets interesting.
Temmett are out with Jennifer house hunting, and they look to be in a new house, very much my style but Emmett is not in love. At least his hair looks better this scene. Not like he had a run in with Cher, who by the way is on NBC as a certain lady called and informed me to see the outrageous stuff going on. Cher is flaming tonight folks but let�s get back to this. I know Peter Paige doesn�t have a lisp so I don�t know why he talks like he has one. Emmett wants to live in the house Carrie White lived in because it�s got a picket fence and rose bushes and �character�. Jennifer and Ted being of Waspy natures like me aren�t real gun-ho about this one. This place is going to need some work. So then to make another point, we have Ted in his house, Emmett in his, and Jennifer in the middle while Temmett debate the pros and cons. When they turn to Jennifer for the deciding vote, she wisely stay the hell out of it. Wonder why she shouldn�t do that when she was talking to Justin last week, hmmm...? Also what the hell is that Emmett has with him, a purse?
In the Diner and I guess Gus has gone home to the foster family he lives with. I miss my main baby. Of course he could be at home fucking the shit out of the trick he was trying to pull when Lindsay covered his eyes. You know Brian better watch out. His kid could put him right out of business. Mel and Lindsay are discussing Michael�s lack of giving and Debbie gives the girls a heart attack on a plate and says, they�re family now. In reality, you know and I know she�s trying to kill them now so when Mel has that kid she can be quietly removed from the picture and Debbie can have the little spawn all to herself. Debbie also says Michael can do this because he�s an All- American Gay Boy and has a whack attack�oh you know three four times a day. Maybe in your dreams Debbie, but Michael can�t get it up in fifteen minutes let alone twice a day. Brian comes in carrying a poster for Stockwell. It�s his new client. Debbie says Stockwell is a fascist, and Susie and Skank are all bitter too. Brian gets his coffee from Debbie that� is piping hot.
Debbie comments that Ethan still has some integrity because he gave up the deal to be with Sunshine, Brian says someone should tell him there is �nothing noble about being poor,� He should know, he�s a sorry excuse for a human being so go figure. I bet his ass would be whistling a different tune if he was pumping gas in NJ for a living. Brian burns himself on the coffee and Justin grins and Debbie says oopps.
At Jerk@Work, Michael is talking to Ted about how fun masturbation used to be before it became a call to arms. He�s still whining. I wish he�d shut the hell up and produce already. Michael wants to know how he�s supposed to cum on demand. [Right then all of the jerkers at work cum on demand, now that�s something I didn�t need to hear, all that moaning. Sounds like a dog in peril.] You know they have TV on demand now and movies on demand; surely he can cum on demand. He can whine on demand. Ted says he making too much out of this, creating a mental block. So Ted introduces Michael to his new super jerker �Raging Hard-on�. Raging starts to fondle himself and we get treated to filler music from Miami Vice as Mike finds his inspiration. Michael asks for a cup and Ted gives him one of those paper cups from the office water cooler.
Now Michael has produced the seed of life and now he runs with this paper triangle cup across town to Mel and Linds�s place. Yet again not the best preservation method there nor is that the best storage receptacle. Who also except a raving lunatic would run across town carrying his genetic material like that. I swear that�s gross. He reaches the Home of Abominable Acts of Conception and Linds grabs the goods, shuts the door in his face, and runs up stairs to put it where it belongs. My first thought is that she will use a turkey baster to squirt it up Mel, but I digress. Michael is out of breath and talking to the door.
Linds is upstairs and Susie Homemaker is going to do the inseminating. Linds come in the room and tells Mel to spread them legs. I think Brian used to tell Justin that same thing. Mel is all coy now she wants to experience this. Yeah I bet they did the same for Gus, not! Brian brought the genetic sample and they got it in her and that as they say was that. First off this is so impractical because sperm don�t live long outside the body and definitely not long enough for Michael to run across town with his sample to give to the girls. So I wonder whose sperm it was Brian gave them. Because you know he didn�t come right back from the Gravel Pit. He probably got some needs met as well so all them suckers were dead unless the pot in the air contaminated the sample enough to keep a few alive and kicking. So Linds takes this syringe and loads up the sperm and inserts it in Mel�s vagina and oh my gawd, I don�t think I could take seeing that. I�m so glad they cut that scene out. I don�t care if she loved me or what she�s not going anywhere near the ole baby maker with a syringe, and just where in the hell did she get such equipment? The ladies got some explaining to do.
Cut to later that evening, and let me say from what it looked like Michael didn�t put much in that cup but seemingly the cup overfloweth. You figure it out. As I was scribing, later that evening Mikey and Brian are on their way to Babylon and Brian makes a detour telling Michael he�ll meet him there and goes to chat with the Rat King
Brian is about to put money in the case and Ethan tells him to keep it. Brian says Ethan is still working the streets like any other whore. Ethan says he�s no whore. �That�s not what I heard,� counter Brian. Brian goes on about the arduous practicing and grueling lessons and Ethan asks why does he care. Brian says because he deserves to be heard. Ethan says they wanted him to sell out. Brian says he should sell out.
Ethan: So you can get Justin back
Brian: I don�t want him. I just hate to see someone holding on to their integrity for no good reason.
Ethan: I would expect you to say something like that. You probably would have played for the Nazi�s too.
Brian: If it kept me alive for one more day, you�re goddamned fucking right I would. [Me too. Hey self-preservation, there comes a time when one has to swallow the pride, play the game and turn it to their advantage.]
Brian says, play their game and play it to your advantage. Ethan says he�d rather whore himself on the street. Brian tells him, �There is nothing noble about being poor.� Ethan is debating it in his head and Brian leaves him to ponder.
Now to Barbie Land a.k.a. Babylon. There is this guy and I�m almost sure he�s a guy and he�s got boobs. I mean he�s got boobs! I�m not sure if he meant to or not but that�s a little unnerving and scary at the same time, unless that really is a woman, but I don�t think so. I�m telling you I see new things on this show all the time. Anywho, Temmett are talking about the houses but Ted�s being practical and Emmett just wants to drop the subject. Around them people are falling down dead on the spot. Michael says no one stops and the thumpa thumpa goes on. Brian says they need to learn not to take candy from strangers.
Benji the supped up hound dog comes in from a spare moment form the gym and asks Mike if he still loves him. I bet his balls are shrinking exponentially right this second. Ben wants to find a corner and suck Michael till there�s nothing left. Boy I bet since he�s supped up Benji he could suck a rivet out of metal. What if he [cringe moment] sucks Michael�s cock clean off! Michael says he can�t, he�s saving another load for the women. Ben is pissed Michael is letting �fucking lesbians� control their sex life. Ben�s out of there. Michael goes after him whining,� Everything seems to piss you off lately, especially me.� Ben, like myself, can�t take the whining and leaves before Michael becomes a pool of goo on the floor. You know I�m going to play Dr. Phil for a moment. Michael, I want you to come sit here because I have got to be you. Thank you.
Ben: yada�yada�blah�blah�fucking lesbians running our lives.
Max: Look here dickweed. I told you what was happening, and your ass agreed so get the fuck over it already, I�m tired of this shit. I wanted you to come take a bite out of me this morning and you said you had to go work on that body of yours when you should have been working MY body. What the hell is wrong with you� If I�m pissing you off that bad you may need to sleep on the couch tonight because if you�re going to play this game I�ll play one too�Don�t walk away from me! Dude you ass is mine when I get home, the proverbial shit has hit the fan.
Thank you all for indulging me. And as Michael turns back, another one bites the dust.
Next morning at the office, Brian and Gardner are talking about Stockwell. Gardner says this could be the critical mass they need to launch the NY office. Cynthia gives the men a heads up, saying Brian�s favorite client is in his office. After the pleasantries Stockwell says he has found something to make him pop. He�s going to crack down on drugs and seeing as how five people dropped dead at Babylon last night, he�s going to start right there. I wonder if Brian is going to play the game or revolt?
Now let me tell you. Anytime you come home and there are candles and wine or champagne or anything out of the ordinary going on and it�s not some occasion, BE FOREWARNED! At Rat Central, Justin comes home and let me tell you this place is dingy and could use a sanitization and a coat of paint. Ethan has candles everywhere and all the lights on too and it�s still dark as Hades in the place. He�s pouring wine and the like. Justin wants to know what�s going on. Ethan says a celebration. They are celebrating the two of them being together. I wish Ethan would just get to the point, quote Kinney so we can all get to crux of this whole episode! Ethan says he can�t play on the street forever. Justin says the guy wants him to sellout, to deny �us.� Ethan says all that matters is that the two of them know what they mean to each other. Ok if you say so. Ethan goes on to talk about secret rendezvous and cloak & dagger shit when all he has to say is we need to play their game and play ours too.
Emmett and Michael are talking about Emmett�s home and how he was a step below trailer trash. Hey I wonder if they knew the Kinney�s? Blah�blah�yada�yada. The two enter Woody�s and Ted and Jennifer are there and Ted got Emmett�s house. Emmett is all aglow. Ted wanted Emmett to be happy. People Temmett is strong as ever. Stockwell wants to end corruption and drug use that plagues �certain areas� of the city. Meaning Babylon and Liberty. Seems a whole bunch of people need to be heading for the closet.
Michael comes home to find Ben shooting jungle juice. At Babylon Justin goes in search of Brian in his office in the backroom. Finding Brian in medias blow job�
Justin: Fuck off�FUCK OFF!
Brian: Take a number like everyone else.
Justin: And you should keep your big fucking mouth shut
Brian: [looking daggers at Justin] I wasn�t the one giving the blowjob.
Justin: What did you tell Ethan? [Like he doesn�t already know.]
Brian: The truth.
Justin: There�s nothing noble about being poor.
Brian: He actually listened
Justin: He more than listened. He signed the papers. [Smart man, it�s the first sensible thing he�s done]
Brian: Good for him.
Justin: What, that he sold out.
Brian: Maybe his recording will do the same. Although, personally I can�t stand violin music. It sounds like someone is torturing a cat [Kinney in your face snicker]
Justin: What about me. [So, what the hell about you. This is about opportunity and not fucking away your dreams. You learn to compromise and play the game but make sure you draw a line in the sand because you cross that liminis, you cease to be you. Brian ought to know, he�s crossed that liminis a couple of times.
Brian: What about you? You expect him to sacrifice his career for some piece of blond boy ass? Is that your idea of true love Sunshine? [dramatic pause, and let me tell you this is the best damn scene the entire episode. Why do they only let the good writer out for certain scenes. Why can�t he or she come out and play ALL the time?]
It�s so obvious the Brian is hurting I don�t see why Just Slumming can�t see it. Brian is going to force Justin to grow up and realize the world doesn�t revolve around him. Justin is similar to Craig in that respect. Justin needs to learn to be a man. He is too clingy and needy. He needs to look at things outside the box. Brian returns to his blowjob and Justin leaves and that�s a wrap. You know I said I wanted his balls in the beginning, I don�t. We still need to throw all the cards on the table and discuss this, but maybe next week? What I�m real pissed about is it took them 45 minutes for one phrase to be repeated four times and get to the crux of this episode. Maybe they should just start doing QAF: The Abridged Episode for Those People With Lives [or who have to be in the office 4 a.m. Monday morning]! Yes, I taped it too but I still like seeing it live and they could have had Brian say this line twice, Ethan repeat it and then Justin say it and be done with it. The rest was fluff and you know it.
Next week on QAF Temmett come out to their neighbors. Brian confronts Ben on the jungle juice and gets called a whore. Ethan introduces Justin as his cousin and Daphne as Justin�s girlfriend. Everybody is in the closet and loving it on the next QAF. I think it�s going to get painful from here on in so everyone get your sombrero and some Abslout.