Episode 202
The episode begins with Justin outside of Brian�s loft.
He races up the stairs and knocks on the door, calling out
for Brian. The door to the loft opens and Chris Hobbs is
there. He grabs Justin and drags him into the loft, as Justin
screams . . .
Justin wakes up screaming. The whole Hobbs in Brian�s
loft was a nightmare. Jennifer rushes into his room and
tries to comfort him, but Justin yells at her not to touch him.
It�s obvious he�s seriously Post-Traumatic. He suffers alone
in his bed, unable to allow anyone, even his mother, to
touch him.
At Babylon, Emmett is admiring the men�s asses. Not
because he wants the men, he just wants their butts.
He thinks his ass is old and tired and he should get a butt-
lift. Ted doesn�t agree. Plastic surgery is dangerous and
expensive, he advises. Brian thinks Emmett should just
give his ass a rest. Or sell the old, tired ass for a new one.
Michael joins them then with a bump in hand, bragging
about the great blowjob he just got in the backroom. He
offers up a bump, but the others decline. Ted and Emmett
leave, saying they have work tomorrow. Mikey complains
that it�s too early to end the evening. He wants Brian to
continue partying with him. Brian sits down on the stairs
and comments on how much Mikey's been partying since
he got back to town. Mikey reminds that he is single now,
having broken up with David. He�s allowed to party. Mikey
asks Brian to dance, but Brian declines. Mikey with all the
maturity of a 12-year-old snaps that Brian �always liked
dancing with Justin�. Brian gives him a look that is a mixture
of surprise, disbelief at what Mikey�s just said, and a hint
of--�*You* are not Justin�. Brian leaves then and Mikey at
least has the decency to look ashamed.
At the diner the next day, Debbie lectures a hung-over
Michael about the way he�s been acting. He needs to get a
job and get over David and get on with his life. Mikey
mentions going back to the Big Q. Ted brags about his
great job security and how he will retire in style someday.
Brian is helping Lindsay put a swing set together. Lindz
wants it done by Gus� birthday. Apparently, we�ve found
the one thing Brian is not good at--Constructing children�s
toys! Lindsay says she can�t believe it has been a year since
Gus� birth. She recalls how Brian, Michael, and Justin showed
up at the hospital that night. Brian couldn�t believe he had a
baby. Brian looks sad and makes reference to Mel�s comment
in 101, saying he had �two sons� that night. Lindz knows he is
thinking of Justin and suggests that Brian call Jennifer and see
if she will reconsider letting him see Justin. Brian declines,
saying it�s probably best if he doesn�t. Brian grumbles that he
might have the swing set ready in time for Mel and Lindz�s
wedding. Lindsay reveals then that Mel has turned down her
proposal, saying they don�t need a meaningless ritual to be
committed to each other. Brian finds it amusing, Lindsay
doesn�t. Brian gets irritated and curses everything, including
weddings and swing sets.
At the Big Q, Mikey and Tracy greet each other with a hug.
Mikey asks about coming back to work there. Andrew, the
guy he beat out for the promotion last season, is now manager.
He�s a total jerk. He offers Michael the job of assistant
manager. Mikey is not pleased.
Jennifer visits Debbie and Vic and tells them about Justin�s
nightmares. The doctors have told her that it�s normal, but
she�s very upset and worried over it. He wakes up screaming.
He won�t let anyone near him or touch him. Jennifer taste tests
the cake Vic has made. He�s baking Gus� birthday cake and this
one is a trial run. A little new info on Vic here--he was a pastry
chef. A very good one, apparently. Vic jokes that �we fags are
a very talented bunch�. Debbie adds that they are indestructible,
too. Vic assures Jennifer that Justin is the same. He�ll be ok, too.
Jennifer starts to leave and Debbie follows her to the door. Debbie
thinks that Jennifer should re-think her decision about keeping Brian
away. Justin wants to be with Brian and Brian might be able to help
him where Jennifer cannot. Jennifer doesn�t think it�s that great of an
idea and says no.
Justin is standing outside Brian�s building and the scene is
eerily familiar to his nightmare. He nervously races up the
stairs and knocks on the door, calling out for Brian just as he
did in his dream. The loft door is jerked open and Justin nearly
jumps from his skin, until he sees Brian there. He sighs in
relief, saying he�s glad it�s Brian. Brian--keeping his promise
to Jennifer to distance himself from Justin--snaps back, asking
who else would it be. Justin tries to go inside but Brian blocks
his path and asks where he thinks he�s going. Justin says he
wants to go in and Brian snarls that he didn�t say Justin could.
Justin tries to laugh it off, but asks Brian not to give him any shit
right now. He nearly �freaked out� five times just on the way
over. Brian suggests that Justin �nearly freak out five more
times� on his way back home. Justin�s stunned and says that he
wants to see Brian and Brian snaps that Justin can�t. Justin is
hurt and asks why not. Does Brian have some trick in the loft
that he�s doing? Brian coldly declares that it�s none of Justin�s
business and orders Justin to go away. He shuts the door in
Justin�s face, but a glimpse at Brian�s face shows just how much
his promise to Jennifer is hurting him. Outside, Justin is stunned
and hurt. He hits the door with his fist and asks why Brian is
suddenly treating him this way. He gets no answer in reply.
At his office, Ted is watching porn on-line when he gets
busted by his boss.
Jennifer and Molly come home to find Justin in one of his
�rages�, as Jennifer referred to them when speaking to Debbie.
He�s destroying the drawings in his room. He and Jennifer argue
and he accuses her of telling Brian to stay away from him. Jen
admits it and says she was only trying to help. She just wants
things to be back to normal, like they use to be. She tries to touch
Justin, but he physically pushes her away, saying that nothing will
ever be �normal� again. He wishes Chris Hobbs had killed him.
Jennifer is distraught to hear him say that.
At the gym, Ted tells the guys that he got fired when his
boss saw the porn on his computer. He says he was only
fired because it was gay porn. The straight guys watch
hetero-porn at the office all the time and never get fired.
Emmett wants to get a second job to help him pay for his
cosmetic surgery and finds an ad in a local magazine
promising big wages. Ted is not interested in checking
out the job lead but Mikey and Emmett are.
At the loft, Brian has finished up with his trick who is
getting dressed to leave. The guy�s a talker and not very
bright. He babbles on about how he�s always heard what
a great movie �Citizen Kane� was, but he was really
disappointed when he saw it. The same applies to Brian.
He�s always heard what a great fuck Brian Kinney is.
He wasn�t very impressed. Brian doesn�t appear to care
one way or the other, his mind is obviously elsewhere. On
Justin. He suggests that maybe Dense Trick was expecting
too much. He starts to show the guy to the door, buck naked,
and opens it just as Jennifer is about to knock. She gets an
eye full before looking away, apologizing that she �came at
the wrong time�. Brian says she has that much in common with
Dense Trick, who takes a second to realize that he�s been
insulted. He leaves.
Brian goes in search of his jeans and pulls them on. (Damn!)
Jennifer looks nervous and out of place as she looks at his
loft, talking aimlessly about how she is a realtor now. Brian
has wandered into the kitchen and is making himself a
sandwich, watching as she looks around his place, and then
assures here that �he� is not there. Jennifer says she knows
that. She came because she has a favor to ask Brian. Brian
reminds that he already did her a favor--He agreed to stay
away from Justin. Jennifer corrects that this isn�t for her. This
favor is for Justin.
She wants Brian to �take her son�. She wants Justin to stay
with Brian for awhile because Justin is in a bad emotional
state. He won�t let her or anyone else near him. He can�t stand
to be touched. He doesn�t show any emotion at all, unless he�s
in one of his rages or when he wakes up screaming from a
nightmare. And the worst part for her is being forced to watch
and not be able to do anything to help him. She stupidly asks if
Brian has any idea what that feels like. Yeah, he does, Jen! He
was the one who saw the bashing happen! He knows all too well
what it is like to watch someone you care about suffer and be
unable to help them.
But Brian doesn�t tell her that. Instead he asks her what she
expects him to do. Jennifer replies that she wants Brian to
�touch Justin�. Help him be touched again. Brian crudely asks
her if she wants him to �fuck Justin�. Jennifer answers that Brian
is the person Justin trusts. Brian reminds that not too long ago she
didn�t want him to have anything to do with Justin again, ever. She
admits that she really doesn�t want this, but it�s the only option left.
Brian is the only person who has a chance to get through to Justin.
To help him get past the bashing. This is the last hope Jennifer has
of ever seeing her son happy and thriving and back to his �old self�
again.
Ted visits Lindz and Mel to get Mel�s legal advice on the loss
of his job. Mel explains there is no legal action that can he
taken. Ted leaves and Mel and Lindsay talk some more about
the wedding. Lindz says she now agrees with Mel. It�s a
meaningless ceremony. But Mel sees through it and realizes
that getting married means something to Lindsay.
Brian and Justin are in Brian�s Jeep, driving back to the loft
with Justin�s things in tow. Justin is happy and says he can�t
believe that his mom tried to keep him and Brian apart but
that they were �showing her�. Brian tells him to stop being
childish or he�ll stop the Jeep and let Justin walk home.
Justin asks what Brian�s problem is and Brian defends
Jennifer, saying that Justin is lucky to have a mother that cares
that much about him, even if that includes doing the wrong
thing for the right reason. Justin is still upset with her and
declares that now he gets to stay with Brian, adding a cute
�Yee Haw�. Brian reminds that Justin is just staying with
him until Justin is �better�. Justin is in complete denial that
he has any problems, insisting that there is nothing wrong
with him except for his �gimp hand�. He quietly curses Hobbs
and Brian tells him not to think about Hobbs.
Justin turns serious then and asks why Brian is doing this.
Brian tries to make a joke but Justin is determined. He wants
to know why Brian is letting him move in? Brian asks if the
reason really matters. It�s what Justin wants, isn�t it? Justin
jokes then that he knows why Brian is letting him move in. It�s
because Brian is madly, deeply, passionately in love with
him, just like he always suspected. Brian doesn�t deny it.
Emmett and Mikey show up for their new jobs, which turn
out to be waiting on tables . . . naked. The clients are dirty
old men who keep pinching Mikey on the ass.
At the loft, Brian is naked in bed, flipping through a
magazine as he waits on Justin. Justin finally comes out
of the bathroom, fully clothed. In fact, he�s wearing more
clothes than we�ve ever seen him wear while alone with
Brian in a bedroom before. He�s clearly nervous and lays
down as far away from Brian as possible. Brian tells him
to come closer and he nervously scoots over. Brian
suggests Justin take off some of the clothes so he doesn�t
get �over-heated�. Justin kind of laughs and takes off
his clothes. Brian kisses him very sweetly and then tells
Justin to roll over. (Geez, no foreplay at all, Bri? No
wonder the trick from the previous night left
complaining!) Justin does so and Brian retrieves a
condom and puts it on. He gives Justin a little kiss on
the shoulder and starts to enter Justin. Justin cringes,
looking in pain and tells Brian to stop. He says he
can�t. Brian lets him go and Justin moves away from
Brian and sits on the edge of the bed. He starts to cry
and tries to tell Brian he�s sorry. Brian moves to his
side and wants to reach for Justin, but knows that
physical contact will just make it worse. Instead he
lays a hand on Justin�s shoulder and tries to reassure him
that it�s ok. Justin disagrees, saying it�s not ok. They
both know it.
At Woody�s, Brian has called up an old trick to meet him, a
psychiatrist named Alex. Dr. Alex comments that to be as
screwed up as he is, Brian is surprisingly well-adjusted and
high-functioning. What�s his secret? Brian replies that he relies
on his hopeless addictions and never seeing a shrink--that�s how
he stays happy. Alex comments that Brian is seeing one now,
but this is about Justin. They sit down at a table together and
the doctor mentions what happened in bed between Brian and
Justin, Brian trying to get intimate and Justin pulling away. The
good doctor says it is natural. It�s like a fairy tale, Rapunzel
trapped in the tower. Justin�s memory is trapped and it�s up to
Brian to help him remember. He has to remember the bashing so
that he can process what happened to him, feel the pain, and move
past it. Brian doesn�t look too convinced, but the Doc insists that
Justin has to recall the bashing before he can get past it.
At Emmett and Michael�s apartment, they are putting lotion on each
other�s butts that have been bruised from too much pinching. Emmett
loved the dirty old men and their attention. Mikey hated it. Ted is
miserable still from losing his job. Emmett thinks he should sue, but
Mel has said that Ted has no legal grounds. Ted decides that he will go
talk to his boss about getting his job back. Emmett gets a call to work
again, this time as a naked maid, and he happily rushes off to work.
Daphne has come over to the loft to help Brian with his plan
to jar Justin�s memory of prom night. They clear off a space
on the living room floor to serve as a dance floor and Daphne
puts on the music that was playing when Brian arrived at the
prom. They narrate for Justin--complete with flashbacks of
prom night--telling how Brian arrived, what he was wearing,
and the things they said to one another. Brian recalls taking
Justin�s hand and leading him to the dance floor as �Save The
Last Dance� started to play. Daphne puts the song to playing
and Brian and Justin start to dance again. Justin is stiff and
uncomfortable and Brian tells him to close his eyes and relax
and see if he remembers anything. He doesn�t, but the flash-
backs continue. It�s sad to watch the change in Justin from
the happy, smiling youth in the prom flashes to the withdrawn,
troubled man he is now. Justin asks if they really danced to
such a corny old song and Brian repeats his words from prom
night, saying it was �ridiculously romantic�. He recalls that he
and Justin did some pretty fancy moves that night. Daphne
laughs that mouths were dropping and then adds that the kiss
they shared at the end of the dance was really hot. Justin pulls
away from Brian then, looking embarrassed and asking if
Brian had really kissed him in front of all his classmates. �You
should�ve been there,� Brian sadly replies. Justin looks sad.
Daphne�s sad. Damn, it�s just a sad scene!
Michael and Tracy are at the Big Q after their shifts, getting
ready to go home when Andrew The Jerk says that Mikey has
to stay over. Tracy volunteers to stay and help him re-price
some merchandise, but Mikey tells her no, to go because she
has a date with her boyfriend that night. Mikey is left alone
and miserable back at his old job.
Brian takes Justin to the parking garage where he was
attacked. Justin is drawing a complete blank still and Brian
looks like he would rather eat dirt than be back here. He
starts to tell Justin about the end of that night, how they had
came out to the Jeep together. They were dancing and singing
and goofing off. He remembers kissing Justin and telling him
they�d see each other later. Brian speaks of how Justin started
to walk off, but then turned back and smiled at him. �Then I
knew why Debbie calls you �Sunshine�,� he admits. It�s a
beautiful moment, folks! Too bad poor Sunshine still can�t
remember it for himself. Justin walks away from Brian, looking
at the floor of the parking garage as he strains to remember.
Brian flashes back to the bashing, recalling himself screaming
a warning at Justin and the awful sound of the bat hitting that
beautiful blonde head. He looks on the verge of breaking down
and swears in frustrating, asking in an almost helpless voice if
Justin can remember anything. Justin goes to him and hesitantly
tries to comfort him, saying he wishes he could remember.
Brian replies back that he wishes he could forget.
At his former place of work, Ted cleans out his office and
goes to speak to his boss. He tries to tell the man that he has
been a faithful employee and shouldn�t have been fired because
he�s gay. Boss replies that it had nothing to do with Ted being
gay. Ted broke company rules by using the Internet for some
thing other than work. That�s why he was fired. Boss then asks
if Ted was really that happy as an accountant and Ted admits
that he wasn�t. Boss suggests that, for his next job, Ted find
something he really has a passion for.
At Gus� First Birthday party, all their friends have shown up.
Justin is still uncomfortable around crowds and is standing off
from the other guests. Brian is with him. Mel thanks everyone
for coming. They cut the cake and Debbie starts to hand out
pieces. Mel and Lindsay kiss and a little girl comes up and asks
if they are married. They say no and the girl asks why not. Lindz
says the girl�s parents will explain it when she�s older.
Michael goes off by himself and sits down in the swing set
that is finally assembled. Debbie joins him and reminisces
about his first birthday. Mikey whines that everyone has
moved on with their lives but him. He feels left behind and
lost. Debbie tells him he�s not lost, he�s just full of shit.
(Ha, ha, I love her!) She slaps him and tells him that he�s
only lost if he�s alone. Which he isn�t because so many people
love him. He�ll find his way in time.
Gus is opening his presents but the baby actor is so not
into the scene, crying and squirming to get down. Someone
bought him a plastic baseball bat and Lindz calls out to Brian
that his son is going to be a baseball player. Brian snidely
answers that he will blame Lindz if they �make a man� out of
Gus. Lindz is playfully swinging the bat and Justin sees it
and finally starts to remember. He staggers back a step and
Brian turns to him in concern, saying his name. Justin then
remembers Brian screaming his name in warning that night and
him turning around just in time to get hit with the bat. Brian
catches him as he starts to sway on his feet, holding him close
and whispering reassurances.
Lindz and Mel are cleaning up the yard after the party. Mel
says that the little girl made her think. One day, Gus will ask
the same question--Why aren�t they married. And Mel will have
to tell him that it�s because other people wouldn�t let them. She
doesn�t want that. She proposes then, asking Lindsay to marry her.
Of course, Lindsay accepts and they�re both happy.
Back at the loft, Justin wakes up in bed. Brian is in the kitchen,
putting something in the refrigerator. He turns off the lights and
comes to the bed. He asks if Justin is feeling better and Justin
says he is. (Ok, I have a complaint. Bad lighting here! Just
the blue lights are on and you can�t really see their faces.)
Anyhow, Brian sits down on the bed with Justin and says that
Justin really freaked him out at the party, saying it was like
watching Justin get hit all over again. Justin says that he
remembered the attack. He recalled walking away from Brian
and hearing Brian call out his name. Brian had tried to save him.
Brian had never told him that part. �I guess I forgot,� Brian
admits. �It�s a good thing one of us remembered,� Justin responds
as he leans in for a sweet, tender kiss. He slides a hand inside
Brian�s shirt and looks surprised as he slowly pulls out the bloody
scarf that Brian has been wearing since the night of the bashing.
He looks at it and then at Brian before tossing it on the floor. �I
want you inside me,� Justin whispers and Brian asks if he�s sure.
Justin is, just take it easy. �Like the first time,� Brian promises
and they both smile at the subtle reminder that tonight is the one-
year anniversary of their first meeting. They start to kiss. And this
time they get it right. Lots of kissing and foreplay as they undress
each other and very tenderly make love. The bloody scarf
forgotten on the floor as they start to heal from the attack.
Wonderful episode!!!