QAF Episode 1-2
By Phluphee
[email protected]
Overall, I think this episode is a little awkward and heavy handed. But we learn how Mikey became a doormat. And how Justin learns his first lesson in love -ala-Brian-Kinney. Anywa-let's begin....
We start the episode with some GQ looking blonde guy taking off his shirt (Did I mention I love the eye candy on this show!) Ted voices over.
Ted: Brian a father? (shock! gasp!)
Mikey: It's true. I was there. I saw it happen with my own eyes.
The camera angle pulls back adn we realize that GQ guy is actually on a computer monitor. Aggh! We are Ted's office and he's watching porn while talking to Mikey and Emmett on the phone. Lucky bastard.
Ted caps on Brian about being a dead-beat dad. Mikey defends him (surprise surprise) Emmett says he couldn't be any worse then his daddy. Mikey chimes in that he agrees with Emmett even though he doesn't remember his father.
Ted eyes GQ as he starts taking off more clothing and wants to know what's next for the newly reformed Brian: PTA parent, Little League Coach, Scout Master. The screen splits and we see Mikey at his job. He's sportin' a white shirt and tie and walking down the aisles of some SuperMart, like Target or Big K. Poor doormat. Can't even land a good job. Anyway. Mikey says they don't allow gays in the scouts cuz they're afraid of recruitment. The screen splits again and there's Emmett stuffing the jockey shorts of a dummy in the window. Emmett says he only goes out with men who are already enlisted. He works at some clothing shop called Torso.
Ted is engaged as GQ unbuttons his pants. Mikey is still walking around the aisles like he's an idiot. Emmett wants to know what the kid looks like. Mikey says he has Brian's eyes and mouth. And Lindsey's nose. Ted says if he has Melanie's dick they are all in trouble (no doubt) Emmett laughs. GQ is touching himself now. Mikey is looking threw pics of the baby now. I swear the only one with a work ethic is Emmett. But I guess he knows that if he doesn't earn his keep he'll be sent back to white trash Mississipi. They'll hog tie him, stick an apple in his mouth and glaze him with a special catsup and worsecester bbq sauce. Best keep working Emmett! Keep your gay ass in Pittsburgh if you know what's good for you.
The split screens dissappear and we go back to a normal POV. No-work-ethic-Mikey says that the pics of the baby are too cute. In one the kids is actually playing with himself.. Ted asks if he's talking about Brian. And Mikey says that it's the damn baby. (Duh! Try and keep up Ted.) Mikey says the kid has only been the world a couple of hours and he's already pulling his pud. Some hot customer walks up to Mikey and wants to know where jockey shorts are. Mikey flirts with him like there's no tomorrow and then watches his ass as he walks off.
Back to wack-at-work-Ted. He says that this just proves the theory that we all have dick on our brains from the womb to the tomb. Emmett says OC to speak for himself. Ted, mesmerized by GQ says that he is. We cut to Emmett and he's still packing the front of that dummy. He wants to know if Ted is still watching that filthy website. Ted says that GQ must be at least ten inches. Oh shit! Ted's boss walks in and he frantically pushes a bunch of buttons and puts the guys on hold all polite-like. Mr. Workshafter wants to know if Ted has finished some person's accounting thing. Sounds like a bunch of mumbo-jumbo to me. Ted kisses ass like a pro. He's like a monkey in a suit. I already have lost all respect for this guy.
Ted pulls out the file and gives it to the boss. Oooh..there's something interesting in the drawer. Hahah..It's a snapshot fo Mikey with his shirt off. He's smiling like he's pulling his pud. Boss leaves and Ted picks up the phone apologetic. The split screen goes up again. Mikey says Ted had better be careful. Emmett says the last thing Ted needs is to be caught on comequick.com. Smug-Ted states that his boss is a jackass. That he can't even figure out that one of his associates has been bonking his wife for the past five years and he still hasn't caught on. ( Um..could there be any heavier handed foreshadowing...hmm...) Everyone says bye. The split screens dissappear.
Ted sits back and sighs, and then pulls out his drawer and longingly stares at his pic of Mikey. Mikey voices over.
Mikey: Remembe that story we all read in high school. You know the one about the prisoners chained in the cave. Plato or whatever. (Camera pans in on Mikey's pic) All they could see were shadows on the walls. So, after awhile they started thinking that was reality. (Ted smiles at the pic) Well in a way, that's what Ted's like. It's been so long since he's had sex with someone that he didn't download, he's forgotten taht those perfect bodies and perfect faces aren't real. That noone's really there...that they are only...(Ted shuts the drawer)...Shadows. Then again whoever got anal warts in a chat room?
Aww...we are back at Michaels's Walmart looking job. Mikey watches this gay couple with interest. An ugly moose of a coworker in the bra dept (I shall call her Fat Marge) does the limp wrist thing and whispers that the couple are FAGS. Mikey laughs a little too loud. The couple stop and look at him (talk about calling the kettle black.) Mikey looks at the couple disturbed, worried, and dissappointed in himself.
Brian is at work. There's a huge poster board with some hunky guy on it. Brian is giving a pitch to some execs from a beer company. He's also tossing a green apple up in the air as he talks. (I hope he's not planning to wow them with his juggling routine)
Brian: The difference between our beer and there beer is that our beer says SEX......(Brian's blonde assistant smirks. While one of the younger, hotter execs seems to get a little hot under the collar.)........not Clydesdales. If you want to be cool. If you want to get laid. This is what you drink.
A burnette give Brian her best "fuck me" face. Hot exec guy absent-mindedly thumbs his ring finger. An older exec wonders if the guy on the billboard is a little too.....gay. (Hmm...is anyone else seeing where this episode is going? Why don't you just drill a hole in my head and get it over with) Brian throws the apple and then catches it and licks his lips. Hot exec looks like he's about ready to shoot his load. Brian's assistant is highly amused. Brian asks the burnette what she thinks. She says she wouldn't care either way. She'd still take the guy to bed. Brian's assitant laughs out loud. Brian asks hot exec what he thinks as he takes a great big bite out of the apple. Hot exec stares down Brian and says he hadn't really thought about it. (Yeah..he's too busy trying to keep his dick in his pants)
It's Freshly-Fucked Justin. He's in the locker room at school and he's checking out the football players ( I just love cut boys!) Justin drops his books on purpose to sneak a peek at all the wet ass in the showers. Naughty Naughty Justin.
It's football practice. Justin sits on a brick wall with his girl friend. Justin sketches the football players in his sketch pad. The girl eats her food.
Justin: Guess what I was doing last night?
Girl: Sleeping. Same as me. (I already like her)
Justin: Having sex...all night long with that guy Brian Kinney. We did it till six in the morning. (The girl seems to have more interest in her veggie wrap then Justin's story.) Well...aren't you shocked?
Girl: Not really
Justin: (dissappointed) oh
Girl: Well..I kinda figured you were...you know. Even though you never told me.
Justin: I'm telling you now.
Girl: Want some of my veggie wrap? (Jusin takes a small bit of the wrap) So..what was it like?
Justin: Well I started out as a tight end but wound up a wide receiver.
The girl laughs (and so do I). Some studly football player chucks the ball too hard. Justin catches it and then throws it back.
Back at the ad agency, Brian is shaking hands with the execs as they leave the conference room. Hot exec takes his sweet time packing up his stuff. Brian eyes him like he hasn't had lunch. His assistant tells Brian the guy with married with two kids. Brian sarcastically utters that the guy is a real family man. Hot exec asks Brian's assistant where the bathroom is. The assistant says the bathroom is down the hall and to the right. Hot exec walks to the bathroom. Brian follows with his eyes. Brian states how it's a loooooong trip to the bathroom. His assistant says that she's sure that Brian will show him the way (hehehe..)
Now back to the good stuff. Brian and his girl friend are still sitting on the wall. The girl takes an itty bitty bit of her red apple.
Justin: There I was on my back. And there he was on top of me. Slipping it in. (The girl makes a weird face.)
Girl: That must of hurt. Didn't it hurt?
Justin: (he nods) At first it was like someone was shoving a broom up there. But I told him to go slow and he did. Then I stopped thinking about it when I saw the look on his face. (The girl smiles) His eyes were closed. His mouth was open in a sort of smile like he was in another place. A beautfiul place. That place was me. And his body. God. Like his body was so amazing. I could see every muscle. He said he wanted to stay inside me forever. And I wanted him to. I can still feel him. Like...he's still there. Christ Daphne (Finally a name!) Everybody talks about having sex. But I really did.
Poor Justin. He seems so smitten and innocent. Little does he know that Brian "Fucking" Kinney is trying to catch his next prey in the men's room. Hot exec takes a piss. Brian stands next to him and says that he had to take a piss through his whole pitch. Hot exec tells Brian that his presentation was very impressive. Brian takes a good hard look at hot execs dick and asks if he really thinks so. Hot exec glances over at Brian's dick and says, yes, it was very impressive. Brian quips that's what he's here for, to please the client. Enough with the innuendos. Fuck the guy already.
Well, were at school with Justin and Daphne again. And Brian has yet to fuck the exec. How much longer are we going to drag this shit out? Anyway. Justin and Daphe walk across the football field. Hey guess what they are talking about? Yep....
Daphne: So...what is he now..Like your boyfriend?
Justin: Huh?..We just met.
Daphne: Well? Do you love him
Justin: Uh..I don't know (pause) Yeah, I love him.
Daphne: Does he love you? (Um..no rat bastard is only out for c-o-c-k)
Justin: He said he did (WTF?)
Daphne: When? (Yeah..that's what I'd like to know)
Justin: Well when he was about to shoot. (Hmm.....) He was moving really fast and he let out this groan like nothing I'd ever heard before. Adn that's when he said it. (My eyeballs are still popping out of my head. Even under the influence of "E de-disco-pharmacologist...It seems a little..um..out of character for Brian to be proclaiming ILU's to some virgin twink) Right when he came. He said I love you. Then he leaned in and kissed me. (Um...huh? That's bloody fucking romantic. Someone should be scanning the waters for icebergs. Justin's ship is going to sink.)
We're in the bathroom again. Awww...we get to experience the whole going to the bathroom routine of Brian Kinney. Look now he's washing his hands. Hot exec says they should be getting back and that it was a pleasure. Brian says that it could be more of one. Soon to be trick says, huh. Aww..come on like he doesn't know. I've been waiting 20 minutes for some action. So bring it on! I will spare you the rest of the scene and get to the beef. Brian grabs the trick, pushed him into the bathroom stall and slams the door. He slides the bathroom lock from "open" to "occupied" (How clever) Now. I know that Cowlip and the writers are trying to get across that Brian is a sexual predator. And I also know that the back and forth shots between Brian and Justin are suppossed to show a juxtapostion between Justin's romance laden memories and Brian's harsh reality. But at the same time, I feel like the point has been drilled into my head so hard that I'm bleeding out my eyballs. I usually fast forward through this part. Besides I don't like Brian's hair. Anyway. Brian forcefully fucks hot exec until there's no tomorrow.
We're back at Target..er..I mean Wallmart...er...I mean Big K....Where in hell does Mikey work? In any case, he's stopped pacing the aisles now. A mousy blonde named Tracy asks "Mr. Novotny" if he can get someone to help her with some heavy boxes. He says no problem, he'll get someone. She's all smiles as she walks away. Ugggh! It's Fat Marge again. She makes an off color remark about Tracy thinking she's Lady Di. Mikey defends her and says the the boxes were pretty heavy and that she seems sweet. Fat Marge looks at Mikey increduously and says she's sweet(?). Mikey rambles on about he he doesn't really know her, but she seems OK. Fat Marge wants to know if Mikey thinks she's cute? Mikey says she's cute for a girl. Fat Marge says that Tracy thinks that Mikey's cute too. Mikey doesn't know how to respond. Fat Marge says he's never seen Mikey with a girl and does that limp wrist thing again. Mikey, being the spineless amoeba he is, denies his homosexuality, and instead gets suckered into a (psuedo) date with Tracy. Fat Marge says that everyone is meeting at this bar called "Joeless Joe's" ( This is a heavy-handed way to announce to the audience that it's a STRAIGHT sports bar. My eyes are bleeding again.) Then, Fat Marge tells Mikey to do something with his hair. I say put it on his chin-since he's not "coming out"-he'll need a beard.
The boys are working out at the gym. Mikey tells Ted and Emmette how he's been trapped into going to a (gasp!) straight bar. Emmetts not paying too much attention. Instead he's doing leg squats and cruising guys. Mikey does the poor-me-victim-routine. Emmett gossips about his last conquest. Ted is mostly paying attention to Emmett and seems like he's trying to ignore Mikey (and so I am cuz I don't feel the least bit sorry for the amoeba). Mikey gets upset and wants to know why why why isn't anyone listening to him. Well it seems Emmett is. He reiterates that Mikey got tricked by Fat Marge (actually it's Marley) and now he's going to some straight bar. But so what? Who cares if he's going to a straight bar. It's not the end all. (Um...exactly my thoughts!) Mikey whines that if he doesn't play the game that he will end up being an Assisstant Manager the rest of his life. Emmett doesn't understand and says to Mikey that he should just tell everyone he's gay.
Ted: Look, he's not like you OK? (What? Smart, Intelligent, good-looking?)
Emmett: And what is that suppossed to mean?
Ted: He's not an obviously gay man.
Emmett: Are you accusing me of being obvious?
Ted: If the fuck me pump fits.
Emmett: Well..I could be a real man if I wanted to you know. Just lower my voice. Stop gesturing with my hands. Make sure my face is expressionless. Never NEVER use words like "Fabulous" and "Divine". Talk about...I don't know..nailing bitches and RBI's. But I'd rather my flame burn bright. The be some puny little pilot light!
Ted: And a fabulous flame it is.
Ted defends Mikey and says that he's in the straight world and it isn't easy. Ted is there too. He tells Mikey to do what he has to do. Mikey says he needs to change and get ready. Emmett hands him a sports mag and tells him he'd better bone up.
We're in Justin's room and he's looking for something to wear. Clothes are zooming past his closet in record speed. His mom nags about why he won't stay home. She doesn't want him going over to Daphne's house again because he was just there last night. Justin in perfect teenage speak says so what? His mom says she wanted to take him and his sister for pizza. Justin gives her the brush. She wants to know why he spends so much time with that Daphne and why he wears his clothes so tight. Justin walks out. She stops him and asks for a kiss. He goes to her and reluctantly pecks her on the cheek. She says she expects him to call. Justin leaves. His mom starts to pick up his dirty laundry and finds Brian Kinney's underwear in the pile. She looks a little confused. (Oops!)
Mikey sits bitch while Brian drives the jeep. Mikey's reads a comic book and says he'll need a code word just in case he gets into a tight spot. Brian suggests "buttplug"
Mikey: Buttplug might be a little hard to work into conversation.
Brian: Cuz that's what you are for pretending to be one of them.
Mikey: I couldn't help it.
Brian: You could if you told the truth instead of acting like a scared little faggot. You should have just said "I take it up the ass sweetheart. Deal with it."
Mikey: You're right. By the way, I noticed you got the jeep repainted.
Brian pulls up to the STRAIGHT bar (duh! duh! duh!). Mikey doesn't want to go, but Brian pushes him out the door.
At Shoeless Joe's the discount-store-crew sit together in a booth. A fat guy gets out of the booth so that he can sit next to Tracy. Fat Marge wants to know what Mikey wants to drink. He says he'll have what everyone else is having. Fat Marge says good choice and orders another pitcher of beer. Tracy asks Mikey if he's seeing anyone. She's not either. In fact, she's just broke up with someone. I guess the dude couldn't fix a sink Tracey goes on this tirade about how dude couldn't fix it and how he should have just been able to figure it out. And I'm so lost... If this is Cowlips version of stereotyping hetros, it falls waaaay short. It's inane and ridiculous. Much like this whole awkward scene.
Brian is at the Lesbians house. Melanie and Lindsay want Brian to take out a million dollar life insurance policy for the baby. Brian ain't having it. Melanies says she wants him to take out the policy just in case he "gets sick" (ie, AIDS)
Melanie: Considering your lifestyle. I mean when's the last time you got tested.
Brian: Six months ago. I was negative.
Melanie: That's 26 weeks...And 182 one night stands.
Brian: You know I've always admired people who could multiply in their heads...And I"m always careful.
Lindsay: This isn't for us. This is for our son. We need to make sure he'll be provided for.
Brian: And all I have to do is die.
Melanie: Hopefully not before you sign these. (With these kind of friends who needs enemies)
Back in hetro world, the crew are talking about football. Mikey looks confused and blurts out an obligatory Cher remark. Now everyone else looks confused. (Hell, I'm confused.) The crew are suspicious now and one of the guys asks Mikey if he watches football. He says all the time. So, guy asks Mikey what he thinks. He blurts out something that he read in that magazine Emmett handed to him. Everyone agrees. Mikey's phone rings. It's Brian and he's in a foul mood. Mikey says everyone is cool. Brian says that if THEY figured out the he was gay they'd tie him to a post and bash his brains out. Mikey says they aren't like that.
Brian: There's only two kinds of straight people in this world. The ones that hate you to your face. And the ones that hate you behind their back. Now get the fuck out of there because I need you.
Geez, give us hetros a break. Some of us straight people could cares less what you're sexual orientation is. This show is starting to become very hetro-unfriendly.
Emmett's diva-ing it up at kareoke. Mikey assumes his role as doormat and walks in with Brian. They chuckle at Emmett and Brian leans his head up against Mikey's. Brian scans the scene and notices J-Twink sitting at one of the tables. J-Twink gives him a big smile and says Hi. Mikey scowls, annoyed. Brian can't seem to remember J-Twinks name (surprise surprise). Mikey reminds him that his name is JUSTIN. Brian walks up to J-Twink and pats his back.
Brian: So, Dawson. How are things at the creek?
The crowd goes wild over Emmett's performance. Brian wants to leave because he's had everyone. (Asshole!)
Mikey: You haven't had me.
Brian: Oh yea?
Ted: What? You never told us.
Mikey: There's nothing to tell.
Brian: We were up in his room. We were 14..15 tops. We were suppossed to be studying. Whatever. Only we weren't. We're looking at this trashy photo magazine his mom swiped from the beauty parlor. Anyway. There's this shot of Patrick Swazye from Dirty Dancing. Whithout his shirt on. (Ted moans) So I got this hard-on just from looking at it. And I glance over at Mikey and guess what? He's got one too.
Mikey: OK. You can stop now.
Brian: Twin stiffies. I reach over, start rubbing it, it's practically swimming. I pop it out and start stroking it, nice and slow and we're both this close. Then his mom walks in without knocking. (Every laughs)
Justin: They always do. Did she see you?
Brian: I don't see how she could have missed it.
Mikey: The only thing is we didn't cum so it doesn't count.
Justin: Dirty Dancing. That's a really old movie.
Brian: What?
Justin: I said that's a really old movie.
Brian: It's not that old.
Justin: How old are you?
Brian: How old do you think I am?
Justin: 33
Brian: Fuck you.
Mikey: He's 29
Brian: And fuck you too. What did you tell him for?
Mikey: Fair is fair.
Ted: We all know what that means. In a few months you'll be 30. Might as well be dead.
Brian: Well you oughta know. You're already are.
Brian walks out, pissed. Mikey follows after him and tells Brian he needs to take responsibility for J-Twink. Brian yells that he's getting tired of everyone telling him what he's responsible for. If Melanie and Lindsay want to have a kid then that's their responsiblity. And if Justin wants to go out and fuck around while he's still in high school, then that's his resonsibility. His responsibility is ONLY to himself. Mikey tells him to settle down. He hugs Mikey and gets the hell out dodge. Brian is such the drama queen.
Emmett and Ted walk out of Woody's speculating on where to go. Justing lingers in the background. Mikey wants to know what they should do with J-Twink. Ted and Emmett say it's Brian's problem and Mikey shouldn't be cleaning up his mess (Amen to that!) But Mikey's the doormat, so any problem of Brian's is a problem of his.
Mikey takes J-Twink to Liberty Diner. They sit down at the front counter.
Justin: I came all the way here just to see him and he doesn't want anything to do with me. (I don't know. I saw interest until he brought up the whole age thing)
Mikey: Yeah. Well. The thing you gotta know about Brian is, he's not your boyfriend. Brian doesn't do boyfriends.
Justin: Yeah. Well. You weren't there when we were doing it. (Good point. He did say all those mushy things) You don't know what we did. He kissed me (Mikey looks kind of surprised) You don't know anything.
Mikey: I know this. Brian is a selfish prick (AMEN!) He doesn't care about anyone but himself. If I were you I'd just forget about him.
An older looking waitress walks up to them. She sort of looks like a badly dressed drag queen. The waitress asks Justin where he came from. That all the guys in the place are checking him (Well he is adorable). Justin looks around, in awe, totally unware of his cuteness. The waitress wants to know what they want to order. But she keeps slipping in all these dick and sex jokes. After they order, she pinches Justin's cheek, calls him Sunshine, and tells him that he can't go cruising on an empty stomach. She walks away. Justin announces to Mikey that the waitress is a total freak. Mikey says she takes some getting used to. But once you do, you can't help but love her. The waitress walks back up to them. She tells Mikey that his chicken fried steak is coming up. Mikey leans over counter, kisses her and says Thanks Ma. Justin's mouth drops open.
Mikey and J-Twink walk out of the diner.
Justin: You're so lucky.
Mikey: I am.
Justin: You're mom's cool about you being gay. If mine found out she'd kill me (Um..I'm pretty sure she already knows)
Mikey: At least it gives her a sense of purpose. I mean with out me she's be playing BINGO instead of organizing pride marches and handing out condoms. Do you need a ride.
Justin: Um..I borrowed a friend's car.
Mikey: Oh. You don't have a little beamer of your own (If only doormat were this snide and less whiny all time )
Justin: I'm working on it.
Mikey: Just remember what I told you about Brian.
Justin: IF he's such a selfish prick. Then how come you always follow him around?
Mikey: I'm NOT always following him around. We're best friends. We accept each other who we are. No judgements. No obligations. No questions asked.
Justin: You're just waiting for him to finish jerking you off (Ha! Ha! The truth is a bitch!)
Mikey: Go on chicken. Back to your coop. (Justin smugly walks away.) Don't go looking for him. It will just make things worse. (For who? Mikey or Justin?)
Mikey's mom walk out. She says it's just as well that Sunshine took off. He seemed a little too young for Mikey. Mikey gives her the look of death. Then they walk down the street.
Lindsay is breastfeeding. Um....how did we get here? I could careless about the lesbians right now. I wanna know where Justin went? Melanie is planning some party. Melanie thinks breastfeeding is beautiful and is turned on by Lindsay's hot full breasts (yadda yadda). They do a little making out and then they go to bed. Lindsay is worried that they are being to hard on Brian. Melanie thinks Lindsay puts up with way too much shit from him. Lindsay says he admires Brian's no apologies, no regrets, attitude. Melanie says well she doesn't have to put up with it. (Much like I have to put up with the damn scene) In the meantime, Brian's cruising guys on the net. How many guys is he going to fuck today?
Back to Mikey walking his mom home. Mom wants to know what Mikey is up to tonite. Mikey says he's going to an orgy. Mom says way to go. Actually, Mikey is just joking. He's going to be going to his GAY apartment and getting out of his GAY clothes and into his GAY bed. Mom says he's in a mood (No shit) Mikey says it's Brian. Mom's not shocked. She wants to know what he did this time? Mikey doesn't want to talk about it. Mom says he wishes Mikey wouldn't let Brian get to him so much. (Even his own mother knows he's a doormat). Mom wants him to hurry up and meet someone else.
They get to the house and all the lights are on. Mom is worried about Vic and she runs up the stairs. Vic sits at the table staring at some papers. Mom asks if everything is allright. He says he couldn't sleep. He says Hi to Mikey. And Mikey says Hi Uncle Vic. Oh and the more I look at Mom's hair, the more I think a poodle died up there. Mom asks if he hurts anywhere. And Vic says yes, his pocketbook. He hands Mom the papers. It's the Mastercard bill from their trip to Italy. Apparently, Vic is still alive and now he has to pay off a HUGE amount of money. He wants to know how he's going to pay the bill. Mom suggest hustling.
Mikey walks up to his old bedroom. (Oohh I love the song in the background) He pulls open a chest and retrieves the old Patrick Swayze mag. He lays down on his bed, sticks his hand down his pants, and starts masturbating. He's replaying the 14 year tryst with Brian in his head. And of course his mom walks in.
We're in Brian's fuck pad. He's checking himself out in mirror. The doorbell buzzes. He tells the person to come on up. He's on the top floor. He opens the door to the loft. To his chagrin, it's not his latest fuck. It's J-Twink!
Brian: Christ! What are you doing here.
Justin: I'm sorry...I
Brian: You can't just stop by unannounced.
Justin: I just want to talk.
Brian: There's nothing to talk about.
Justin: Please I won't stay long..I'll just...can I... (he starts towards Brian, but he pushes him away)
Brian: No.
Just then the trick comes up the stairs. He's an ugly bald guy and he walks right on in the loft. Trick wants to know who the blonde is. Brian says no one. Justin looks shocked.
Justin: I have to see you.
Brian: I'm busy.
Trick: I don't mind a three-some. Although he is kind of young.
Brian: He's also kind of leaving.
Justin wants to know who the guy is. Brian says his name is Mr. Goodfuck. They exchange polite introductions. And holy shit, Brian remembers Justin's name. Mr. Goodfuck says his first name is George. Brian corrects himself. He says this is George Goodfuck. Justin says to Brian that he doesn't even know the guy. Brian says he's just about to and for him to scamper off. Justin turns around and bolts. Brian explains George that's his stalker. George says that Brian isn't being very nice and makes him go after Justin.
Brian goes after Justin. But Justin is all drama princessed out and just wants to get the hell out of there. But Justin stops and turns around to listen what Brian has to say.
Brian: We need to get something straight.
Justin: You don't do boyfriends.
Brian: Mikey's been talking to you.
Justin: You'll fuck anyone. He's ugly and you don't even know him. And I...I really...(Poor kid's about to cry)
Brian: Justin
Justin: Huh (holding back tears)
Brian: I've had you. What happened last night was for fun. You wanted me and I wanted you. That's all it was.
Justin: A fuck? (What about the I love you and the kisses???)
Brian: Well what did you think it was? Look. I don't believe in love. I believe in fucking. (Um...again...why did he say I love you?) It's honest. It's efficient. You get in and out with the maximum of pleasure and a minimum of bullshit. Love is something that straight people tell themselves they're in so they can get laid. And they end up hurting each other because it was all based on lies to begin with. If that's what you want. Then go and find yourself a pretty little girl and get married.
Justin: That's not what I want. I want you.
Brian: You can't have me. I too ol....(he stops). You're too young for me (Is this what it's about. Brian's inability to face his own mortality?) You're 17. I'm 28.
Justin: 29
Brian: (smiles) Alright...29. All the more reason. Now go and do your homework.
Justin starts crying, gets into the car and drives away.