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CHAPTER 57 Kimmy was nestled safely in the first decent hotel their cab driver had been able to find. It made Kim feel guilty to know that after the three pre-paid nights, the poor little girl would be out on the street again, but she had to remind herself that it wasn’t her responsibility to look out after these bloody Americans. Besides, what could she do, adopt every minor who she felt sorry for? Being a name in the industry brought in money, but not that kind of money. The band would be leaving for another state tomorrow, and Kim had a few more interviews before then. She was almost disappointed in the American media, considering it had taken them this long to really catch up with her. It had been a relief to only spot the odd group of paparazzi, but Kim found herself almost wishing that there had been more, so she could really make a point to this damn country. She was sure other band members had had their own solo interviews by now; she’d caught a few headlines talking about turmoil in the Sextet, which had to have been fuelled by comments from Heather or Elke. Today’s interview was in a far nicer area. The girl talking to her was another freelancer, but she worked for the biggies. At least, that’s what Kim had come to understand over the phone. “Talia Gardner,” she reminded herself as she walked through the revolving glass doors and walked through a spacious, marble-lined lobby. She was quite aware of the looks that people in their business suits were giving her. She smiled at them all, meeting their eyes whenever she could. It amused her when they looked away and rushed off. She was wearing a black lacy skirt that was slit up all the way on one leg, and a very tight dark red tube top. Nothing else. She had left her coat in her hotel room, since she could wait in this nicely heated building for her cab when she decided to head back. On her way to the elevators, a man in a dark blue uniform (security, obviously) walked up to her. He had the gall to take her by the arm and walk her over to the wall. “Excuse me,” she said, “but what the bloody hell do you think you’re doing?” “Might I ask your name and your reason for being in this building?” She smiled wider. “Kim Kissably. Here on business.” “I’m afraid that we don’t want that kind of ‘business’ going on in here, ma’am.” She bit her lip on a laugh, and waited until she had composed herself until she spoke again. “Kimberly Ann Standen. I’ve got ID if you want, I’d just hafta fish my wallet out of m’ scanties. Oh, I forgot... I left those back at the hotel.” She grinned. “Makes y’ wonder where I’d keep my ID. Anyway, Kissably’s a stage name, not a street name. Men are so bloody filthy, who’d want to be a street walker, anyway?” The security guard did not look amused. “If you want to phone up to Talia Gardner’s office on the third floor, I’m sure she’ll tell you I’m expected. For an interview. I’m a British rock star touring th’ States, only I’m not really that important, and I’m not really that rock. You’ve probably never heard of me before and never will again. Now be a dear and let me go tell my life story to a complete stranger.” Looking no more amused, he inclined his head. “I’ll take you to her office personally. To make sure she really is expecting you.” “So should I take it that under that stoic stance of yours, you really want me? Really, really do?” She bit her lower lip, letting it slide slowly out from under her teeth, then she ran her tongue across the bottom of her teeth. Another smile spread over her face, and she headed for the elevator. “I’d offer a quicky in the lift, but I’m sure you don’t have any rubbers on you, and I’m adamant about not risking my life just for some thing with a prick’s pleasure, y’know?” She laughed out loud when she reached the elevator alone. He wasn’t even trying to follow her anymore. *** Talia greeted her at the door, leading her past the secretary’s desk without even pausing. At Kim’s questioning look, she smiled. “I’ve heard stories, Ms. Kissably.” “Aw, c’mon, your secretary’s cute, but not that cute.” Kim returned the smile. “Something about blondes has just never quite sat right with me.” “So you have no excuse for hitting on the blonde security guard?” Kim laughed. “Oh, so he did call up to check on my appointment, after all. I was just bugging him. He was showing a bit too much interest, after all.” Talia nodded, then led Kim into her office. Kim looked around, quite impressed. Some over-paid intererior decorator had obviously been here, the computer looked top of the line, and the plants were real. “You make enough for this freelancing?” “I used to manage. That’s what got me interested in what makes musicians tick, really. And since I already had a foot in the industry, it wasn’t too difficult to get places like Rolling Stone to buy my articles.” “Please tell me you’re not going to sell me out to Rolling Stone; I’ve already managed a skin mag this tour, I don’t need to tarnish my rep any more.” “Oh come now, they’ve got taste sometimes. U2 was paid a great deal of attention to this year.” Kim snorted. “Please don’t get me started on Bono. I have yet to figure out if he’s desperate or gay, but all that posing has to be for some bloody reason. Besides.” Kim made a face. “I’ve seen a Rolling Stone on the racks this year featuring Beavis & Butthead on the cover. I would be insulted to ever be mentioned in the same magazine.” “You must know you’ve already been in it.” “Not by my consent. Not with any of my own words. What was it, a review?” Kim lowered herself into a swivel chair. “And a few interview snippets with your other grrls.” “Figures. Not like we ever tell each other anything, anyway.” Talia found went to her own seat at the other side of the desk. “You ready for the real interview to begin?” “You mean you’re decent enough not to put down any of this beginning stuff?” “An interview doesn’t start until the interviewee gives the word.” “I think I like you.” Then Kim smiled. “Even if you’re the third blonde I’ve run into today.” Talia returned the smile. “I tend to record these things.” “So do most people. Go ahead.” Talia took a handheld tape recorder out of one of her desk drawers. She clicked a button and set it between them. “So... The infamous Kim Kissably.” Kim grinned. “Is there anything else to call me?” “I want to talk to you about something that seems to come naturally to you, but no one’s ever really asked about before.” Kim raised her eyebrows. “That being?” Talia smiled. “Sex.” “I think I like you a lot.” Kim leaned forward. “I figured that since I’ve been interviewed by a lot of men before, they wouldn’t have the guts to ask me. I do come off as a little vicious sometimes, don’t I?” She grinned again. “Not as though I mean to or anything, mind. It’s just apparently my natural state.” “I’m not even going to bother asking about your angst towards men, since I’m only aiming for questions that I will get answered.” “Smart grrl.” “I’m just curious about how a woman as infamous as you are handles things like sex and intimacy.” “You’re going to hafta give me somewhere to start, luv.” “How about we start from the beginning.” “A very good place to start,” Kim muttered, then smiled. “Quite. So how old were you when you had your first?” “Do you mean willing or unwilling?” Kim flashed a smile so cruel that Talia had to be clear she was joking. At least, Kim hoped so. “I don’t see you ever being in a situation where you could be unwilling.” “My first, hm? I was 14. 13? Nah, must’ve been 14. I had taken it upon myself to learn everything I could about sex, and you can’t exactly do that without fucking a few blokes along the way. He was 18, so it wasn’t as legal as most people would want their first to be, but no one my age had any experience, y’know?” “So was he at all intimidated that a 14-year-old virgin was propositioning him?” “Oh, I’m sure I looked at least 16. Besides, I’d been a rough-n-tough little girl and had already lost any proof of my virginity when I fell off about a ten foot tall tree, hitting every branch on the way down.” Talia cringed. “I fell off a few trees in my childhood, but it was usually intentional, landing right in a leaf pile.” “That’s what I had been aiming to do, but damn Alix had distracted me, and I just sort of slipped.” “Alix is Elke, right?” “Nah, I see Elke as being a completely different person. Just like I’m not Kimberly Standen, and Chatha’s not Nicole, and Ebony is most certainly not Amanda. We’ve all grown up, or at least away from what we used to be. But I don’t want to talk about that.” “So back to the 18-year-old boy?” “He was a good 6’3”, easy. Long hair. Nice and firm body. Sort of grey eyes, if I remember correctly.” “And his name?” “Buggered if I know. I doubt I even knew then.” “What was it like?” “I was nervous as all fuck, but like hell I’d let him know that. He figured out within minutes of us losing our clothes that I’d had little to no experience, but he never accused me of being a virgin, so I wasn’t too bloody embarrassed. One of the gentlest boys I’d ever been with.” “So where did this happen?” “My very own room. My ‘rents were off with their marriage counselor, so it wasn’t like they would have walked in.” “You weren’t at all worried about bringing an 18-year-old whose name you didn’t even know to your house?” “What would the worry be? That he’d come back some day and rape me? Bloody hell, I think he did come back a few times, but I always let him.” “Are you the kind into protection?” “I couldn’t have cared less then, but he insisted. You know, it was the middish late ‘80s, and people were starting to figure out AIDs wasn’t just a gay thing. Besides, what would happen if an 18-year-old got a 14-year-old pregnant? I think he probably instilled his paranoia in me.” Kim smiled. “I haven’t fucked a guy bare in longer than I can remember.” “So was your nameless 18-year-old good in bed?” “Better than a lot I’ve had since then. Things seemed a lot more intimate with him. He’d go slow, linger, and it’s not like he was just done the second that he came.” “Unlike most men.” Talia smirked. “Exactly! It’s not like it’s game-over when he’s satisfied. ‘Course, it’s a long shot to try to tell most anything male that. They’ll nod and smile and say ‘yes, dear,’ but next time you’re in the sack, it’s the same all over again. It bloody well pisses me off.” “Is that why you turned to women?” “Nah, I turned to women because I was drunk.” Kim grinned. “Seriously, hardcore drunk. And when I sobered up and woke up, I realized it hadn’t been that bad. It’s not like I’m a full-time rug muncher, y’know? I mean, it seems more intense and real and intimate with a grrl than a guy, but there are just some things you can’t do with grrls.” “The whole different body parts thing. I understand.” “Truth to be told, I actually find pricks kind of cute.” “Cute?” “Yeh. Cute. They’re like these adorable little one-eyed creatures. And I swear, they talk. Or at least respond when you talk to them. They bob around with no shame, and their owner really has no control over what they do. Sometimes, I think the prick is more intelligent than its owner.” Talia laughed. “You’re certainly living up to your reputation, I must say.” “Thank you kindly; I do try my hardest.” “So speaking of pricks, has the great Ms. Kissably ever given a blow job?” “Edgy ground, Ms. Gardner.” Kim pursed her lips, then she shrugged. “It’s fun sometimes, under the right conditions. Hafta actually like the guy. He has to have washed himself within the past hour. And he has to get the hell out of my mouth before he blows his load. Then he has to pay me back, big time. I make sure they realize this far before my lips get anywhere near their pride and joy.” “So do you have any problems going down on a girl?” “Grrl,” Kim reminded her. “I’d never fuck a girl. Only grrls.” “All right. Do you have any problems going down on a grrl, if you have all these conditions when it comes to guys?” “I work on more equal terms when in bed with another grrl. I’ll only go as far as she’ll go, but I find I have no problems if and when it does get there. Probably because I understand more, being a grrl myself. I know what works and what doesn’t, what every little movement is going to do. And let’s face the fact that grrls just aren’t as gross as things with pricks.” She grinned. “And to think, at least half your audience is male.” “The number of subs in the world would shock you. Gimme a guy who will go down on his knees, begging for me to give him the permission to eat me out... I’ll be in heaven.” “It doesn’t seem to me that Dave would be at all like that.” “Dave is...” Kim took a breath. “He’s an enigma. Everything in me tells me to castrate him and be done with it, but he’s a challenge that I think I needed.” “What sort of challenge is that?” “Look, I don’t want to bloody talk about Dave.” “All right, then, let’s back up. Are you really as into dominance and submission as your stage shows would have us believe?” “I have my moments. With throwaway fucks, the bloke gets to decide what to do within a sane limit, because I just don’t bloody well care. But I am rather in love with the idea of absolute control. Making a boy cry before we really start to play, y’know?” “And I suppose you’ll never tell anyone why you have to hurt them this much?” “Oh, I’ve told someone.” Kim sighed, narrowed her eyes. For the first time in ages, she had Gwen’s face in her mind. “Someone who will never tell anyone else, not even out of spite.” “Let’s move to something safer.” “Please do.” “Kissing. There are some girls--” “Grrls.” “--some human beings in general who don’t actually like kissing. What’s your standpoint on it?” “Kissing just plain bloody rocks. It can be used in so many different ways. Intimacy, sheer animalistic passion, little games, mindless lust. It can be huge and loud and gross, or soft and shivery and velvet. And the greatest thing is that lips are just lips; does it matter who you kiss or when or why?” “How do you play games when kissing?” “You try to catch your partner’s tongue... Then keep it. Or you see how long you can tease your partners lips with your tongue and quick kisses before they’re able to actually return a sustained kiss. Fun stuff like that. Drive them insane.” She smiled. “Best is when you’re wearing lipstick, and you’re out with a boy. Looking oh so sexy, but refusing to let him kiss you; don’t want to smear the lipstick, after all.” She grinned. “I might have to take notes for personal reference here as well.” Talia returned the grin. “I’m really curious... How do you feel about virgins?” “Male or female?” “Male.” “They’re adorable. The poor things have no clue what they’re doing... You’d think it would be easy to just aim for the hole and pound away, but that somehow seems to elude them.” Kim laughed. “The way they blush and giggle and apologize... It’s just priceless. Doubt any ex-virgin has ever left my bed without a few skills having been learned.” “And just how many virgins have you had?” Kim grinned viciously. “Male or female?” “Let’s say male again.” “God, I couldn’t even say... Take however many guys I’ve had, and divide it by about four, I guess. It’s a big number. And I’m more likely to take to virgins, anyway, because they aren’t as bloody presumptuous in bed. What I hate is when you get someone who’s obviously been around but still can’t seem to do anything.” “I’m going to take a wild guess and assume that Elvyn Daray is one of those?” “Oh my bloody god, is he ever! That boy should be kept on a leash, for his own good and for the good of those who may be subjected to him. How he even got to cross the ocean with my band, I just don’t understand.” “With all the partners you’ve had, even if you do use protection, have you ever gotten sick or pregnant?” “Do I have a health warning plastered to my forehead or a child following me around?” Talia smiled softly. “Unfortunately, persons with STDs don’t come with warnings, and children can be aborted.” “It’s not unfortunate that children can be aborted; sometimes it’s best that some girls not give birth. There are so many bloody terrible parents out there, it makes you wonder why you don’t need a license to give birth, or at least to keep your child. And really, can you imagine being the kid who grows up to find out you were put up for adoption because your mother just couldn’t care less? It’s bloody heartbreaking; best to leave the option to avoid all that open.” She sighed. “But no, I’ve never caught anything. Maybe it’s a blessing, maybe I just know how to pick ‘em. And I wasn’t ever really pregnant.” “Really pregnant?” Kim took a breath, swearing at herself silently for that. This was something she hadn’t even told Gwendolyn; or at least, she hadn’t finished telling her. “When I was a kid... I miscarried, just about a month in.” “I thought your mystery boy believed in protection.” “Well, yeah.” She shrugged. “He did.” Talia tapped her desk with her nails, then decided to drop it. “Well, I only have so many pages I can fill with this interview, and I do have other appointments to fill.” “Understandable. This was about to get old, anyway.” “It’s been a pleasure talking to you, Ms. Kissably.” “And to you, Ms. Gardner.” They shook hands, then Kim walked out of there. She made very sure to blow a kiss to the security guard before she reached down her tube top and took out the money for her cab. |
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Talk to LL,
the author. |