Tsunami Dramatis Personae Woman S. O. Child 1 Child 2 Secretary (Curtain rises. There is a desk with a computer, fax machine, printer, and a great deal of clutter. At the desk sits a WOMAN, dressed professionally)WOMAN You know, people say I have such a hectic life. I don't know why - (SECRETARY enters)SECRETARY Ma'am?WOMAN Yes?SECRETARY I have something here for you.WOMAN What is it?SECRETARY Well, I, you see - (sound of coughing off-stage)WOMAN I don't have time for this. When you have a coherant thought, write it down and - (SECRETARY hands note to WOMAN)SECRETARY It is written down.WOMAN Oh. (WOMAN takes note and reads it) What's this?SECRETARY It's a resignation note.WOMAN Why would you want to resign?SECRETARY Because you're a . . . difficult person to work for. (coughing sound again from off-stage)WOMAN Excuse me?SECRETARY I can't work for someone who obviously doesn't care for her employees.WOMAN You think I don't care? I do. I hope you have a fabulous life out there. I hope I haven't stunted your personal growth. Now get out of my face. I don't need low-lives hanging around me when I have a business to run. (SECRETARY exits) Now, as I was saying, people say I have a hectic, stressed life. That last little bit would probably have told you this. But, she never got into work on time nor gave a reason for her tardiness. I'm glad she resigned, because I was just about ready to fire her. (pause) I see my life as being pretty normal for the choices I have made. It can be hard running your own business - (CHILD 1 enters)CHILD 1 Mom?WOMAN At home. (to CHILD 1, a little stressed) What is it? (pause)CHILD 1 Nothing. (CHILD 1 exits, more coughing)WOMAN And I tell you, I can do the mom thing or the boss thing, but sometime's it's hard. No, it's not hard it's - (an electronic beep) Oh! I have mail. (pause) What the hell? Oh, Christ. I have to go pick up my daughter from piano lessons. I completely forgot. (SIGNIFICANT OTHER enters)S. O. Hon?WOMAN What?S. O. The cat's throwing up. (coughing)WOMAN It just has another hairball. Don't panic.S. O. It's coughing up blood.WOMAN Oh. Well, take it to the vet.S. O. With what?WOMAN The car. What do you think?S. O. But from 9 to 5, it's the company car.WOMAN And the boss is giving you permission to use it. (an electronic beep) Wait a second. Oh, man. Hon? I need you to go to the bank for me, too. Oh, and pick up Josie from her lessons.S. O. Where are they?WOMAN Oh, you know, the Henderson's.S. O. O.K. And you need me to go to the bank, too?WOMAN Yeah, withdraw $100. Mom needs help.S. O. She told you that in an e-mail? I dind't know she had e-mail.WOMAN She e-mailed from my sister's.S. O. Why couldn't your sister get the money?WOMAN I don't know! Just go and get it. (S. O. salutes)S. O. Yes, ma'am. (S. O. exits. Sound of car engine)WOMAN So, I was saying. (an electric beep) One second. (types, hits a button) So, I was saying. I could do the mom thing or the boss thing, but both? It's not so bad. This is as it normally is. Not bad at all. (coughing sound) What is that? (WOMAN gets up and looks out the door) Oh, my God, that is so disgusting. (pause) Is it . . . breathing? (takes step towards door again, electronic beep, long pause before going to computer, CHILD 2 enters)CHILD 2 Mom? I don't think the cat's happy.WOMAN That's because it's dead, dear.CHILD 2 Ew. (pause) I'm hungry, Mom.WOMAN Eat the cat, then.CHILD 2 Gross!WOMAN Then, fix a P. B. and J. You know where the food is. (CHILD 2 exits) I tell you, if these people could take care of themselves, my life would be a whole lot - (electronic beep) easier . . . Oh, great, the stock fell. Life isn't so hard, really. And I'm not stressed. I'm not. (electronic beep) No, not one bit. (electronic beep) Multitasking is the wave of the future. (electronic beep) A tsunami, in fact. (electronic beep) Surf's up! (curtain)