Quotes - Other 3 (Quotations are by anonymous authors unless otherwise noted) Humorous (cont.) "Have reserved two tickets for my first night. Come and bring a friend, if you have one." -- George Bernard Shaw "Impossible to come first night. Will come second night, if you have one." -- Winston Churchill "I wasn't using my civil liberties anyway." -- bumper sticker "I am nobody. Nobody is perfect. Therefore, I am perfect." "Please be safe. Do not sit, climb, or lean on the zoo fences. If you fall, animals could eat you, and that would make them sick." -- Knoxville Zoo "Only you can be yourself. No one else is qualified for the job." "My child drinks from the toilet." -- bumper sticker "Sleep if for the week." -- Carleton College 97/98 Theatre t-shirt, written by two sleep-deprived students "A person who aims at nothing is sure to hit it." "Americanism means finding fault with other countries for not solving their problems, while we wait without hope for the Government to solve ours." Index