Quotes - Other 2
(Quotations are by anonymous authors unless otherwise noted)


Humorous
"As your attorney, it is my duty to inform you that it is not important that you
understand what I'm doing or why you are paying me so much money.  What's
important is that you continue to do so." - Hunter S. Thompson's Attorney

"Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity."
--Hanlon's Razor

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do
criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes."  

"Laws are like sausages: it's better not to see them made."

"Virtue is its own reward, but then so is sin!"

"If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything."

"You have to lie down so people can walk on you."

"Everybody is a fool in somebody's opinion."

"Great minds discuss ideas...average minds discuss events...little minds discuss
people."

"You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely."

"If a congregation wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it
has."

"Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set."

"The only difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits."

"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."

"Only the mediocre are at their best at all times."

"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid." -- guest directory
at a Japanese hotel

Walter Mondale: "George Bush doesn't have the manhood to apologize."
George Bush: "Well, on the manhood thing, I'll put mine up against his any 
time."

"If your prayers were always answered, you'd have reason to doubt the wisdom of 
God."

"When two trains approach each other at a crossing, they shall both come to a 
full stop and neither shall start up until the other has gone." -- a Kansas law

"A major research intstitution recently announced the discovery of the heaviest 
element yet known to science, tentatively named "Administratium." 
Administratium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 
111 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 
particles are held together by a force called morons, which are surrounded by 
vast quantities of peons."

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