About an Object (c. 1999)
Characters:
Bob - 36-year-old male
Karen - 35-year-old female
Time:
April, 7 a.m.
Place:
A bathroom
(The curtain rises.
The stage is set with a sink
and a mirror above it, stage
left. KAREN is wearing a
towel. Her left foot is
rested on the sink's edge as
she shaves that leg. BOB
enters wearing a pair of
slacks and an unbuttoned white
shirt. While she is speaking,
KAREN does not look up at BOB,
unless otherwise indicated.)
BOB
What do you think you are doing?
KAREN
The last time I checked, it was shaving.
BOB
Yeah, with my razor.
KAREN
Does it matter?
BOB
Yes.
KAREN
Why? It's a razor . . .
(KAREN turns around to glance
at BOB and then turns back to
resume her shaving.)
KAREN
. . . and you don't need to shave.
(BOB raises his hand to touch
his chin, but lowers it again
before he does.)
BOB
Yes, I do . . . It's the morning. I shave in the mornings.
KAREN
So do I.
BOB
Whether you shave when I do doesn't matter. The point is, you are using my
razor.
KAREN
Are you afraid that I am going to give you girl germs?
BOB
Don't be ridiculous.
KAREN
All right, then. Now, leave me alone. I'll be done in less than ten minutes.
BOB
You're using my razor.
KAREN
So you've said. If you're not afraid of getting a disease from my use of this,
then why do you care?
BOB
It's the principle of the thing!
KAREN
What? I can't use a razor?
BOB
You have your own.
(KAREN shrugs.)
KAREN
I couldn't find it.
BOB
Oh, well, that's all good. Now . . .
(BOB looks around. He sees a
toothbrush and grabs it.)
BOB
I couldn't find my toothbrush!
(KAREN slams the razor down
and lifts her head to the
ceiling.)
KAREN
Oh, for Heaven's sake!
BOB
If you don't give me my razor, then I won't give you your toothbrush.
(KAREN turns around.)
KAREN
You already brushed your teeth!
BOB
I don't care. I'll . . . brush them again
(KAREN turns back to the sink,
turns the tap, rinses off the
razor and hands it to BOB, who
takes it with his free hand.)
KAREN
. . . Here . . . take the razor.
BOB
Thank you.
(BOB crosses to the sink as
KAREN counter-crosses to BOB's
entry point. KAREN stops and
turns to BOB.)
KAREN
By the way. That's your toothbrush you're holding. I couldn't find mine either
this morning.
(KAREN exits.
The curtain falls.)