Love - QRSs
Reality - February 2, 2003
I had a great time
Saturday
I met a real nice guy
who
just couldn't compare
to the one I want
the one I wished was there
with me
In twelve days
my six-month sabbatical
from sex
will be over
and if I can't have him
I want no one else
I can just imagine
if he asks me why I'm still not
having sex
after all these months
of torment
would I then be able
to say
he's part of the torment?
Whatever I have
I've got it bad
All I could think of today
was how much I
wanted to get back home
to
(and the truth hit me)
my roommate
for that's the only title
right now




Se(x/ns)ual L(ust/ove) - May 28, 2001
I would liken it to
ambrosia
my cream
that excretes when I'm boiling
from desire
it is the milk of the god(esse)s
drink up
my love(r)
my mountains of glory
are ready to be
climbed
my cave wants to be explored
by your
expert fingers
both plastic and
real
I want to consume you
and your longest digit
and
climax
over
and
over
again
so no matter how hard
we
shower
everyone will still know
I want my hair pulled
that crop against my
ass
that rope zipper
across
my chest
the hum of that egg you have
or maybe just hum against you
our lips meeting
each pair
rubbing
and caressing
at all speeds
I want to collapse
needing to recuperate
perhaps needing
mouth-to-mouth
but I don't want collapse to be my
excuse
to kiss those lips
and pull with my teeth on that tongue
I don't want to feign cold
just to seek refuge in your warmth
your ambrosia
I want us to
affirm to
deny and to
achieve glory
to be more and less
vulvas
women
beauty itself
forgive me
but I can't help still wanting
all this
with you
maybe
hopefully
in the future we could again attain all this
and more
call me selfish
but I miss
holding you
"making the trailer rock"
and opening myself so wide
I wouldn't be able to hide secrets
even if I wanted to
do I just have memories to
grasp
or will there ever be another such reality
I did so much with you that I wouldn't have been able to do otherwise
but because it was with you
. . .
and so much happened for you with me
especially near the end
the end
le fin?
le fin complete, ma chere?
ou
peut etre
c'est une intermission
mais
how long
seulement
minutes
heurs
jours
semains
moits
ou
(s'il vous plait, dit "non,"
je demande a vous)
annees
je t'aime
en tous mes nuits et jours
I dream of you
quand
when
will I never drink your milk
feel as if I could l(i/o)ve forever
if I am granted one kiss
may I choose
where
Revelation � July 13, 2002
You saved my life
though I was dissociated from my feelings
I know once I got to the hospital
that I need to live
I have purpose
you saved me, us
your hands through God�s wishes saved us
I wanted to be saved before
and you did it
at a very opportune time
I don�t think I can ever repay you
and I�m sure you�re going to disbelieve me
but I have done a lot of soul-searching
and I may have difficulty
dealing with feelings
but if I�m supposed to live
then I need to deal with them
it was a sign
that you took the wheel back
and you may never be able to deal with me
again
if so, fine
I can�t keep you
and this is probably detrimental to your health
the last thing I want is more pain for you
so here�s a thank you note
for what it�s worth
no one has saved my life before




Secrets - August 13, 1999
Sometimes I feel
like
you're hiding me
or
that you're
ashamed
of me
I want to meet
your
friends
We knew each other's
friends in
high school
we didn't share any
I'm not asking to share
But, still
we
knew each other's
friends

Remember when I
asked
if I could visit
your
school
and you ended up
not getting
permission?
I felt bad
are you ashamed of me?
You introduced one
friend to me
but that was when I
was
lost and needed to get
picked up and
brought
home
and you didn't
have your license
yet

Maybe what I
really
want is for us
to hang out with
your friends
I love being with you
don't get me wrong
but that doesn't mean
I
want to be shut out
of your real life

When you go to a friend's
house
even if it's to watch a
game
can I come?
Not every time,
but once.
I want to know that
you cherish me
and are proud of
me
proud of us
that you
consider me part of your real life
not your
secret life




Slumber - February 12, 2002 (this was an assignment in my Theatre History class - to write lke Jean Racine without having sentences ending at each line)

She holds me while scenes play behind my lids
over and over. She tells me that kids
are her biggest desire. Nothing more does
she want than a house, to be paired as doves
with a dog to play catch and children to
teach life's mysteries to. What can I do
but smile sweetly and tell her that what seems
so hard she shall have.  While I sleep, she dreams.
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