| Love Poetry - NOP |
| No Analysis Needed - January 17, 2003 I had that dream last night and while I was trying to wake up I analyzed it whether it counted as THE dream I wait for before admitting my feelings In fact I had it several times several different endings like playing, "What If?" or watching the movie "Clue" "Now, lets' try ending 3!" If life could be that way I doubt gaining courage would be an issue but I suppose this is why we dream It's like how I describe why I act "Only the real Kirsten gets hurt." No Chance - May 23, 2001 I'm sick I feel like vomiting medicine says it could be an ulcer my mind says it's my heart do I deserve this pain this disillusion surely no one deserves this and yet I feel punished at best we will have a long-distance style relationship separated by a 10-minute drive I know she's trying to take care of herself but in doing so I feel imprisoned I hope after the trial week she decides that she can work things through but rationale is telling me there's no chance in . . . Tucson Promise - July 23, 2001 I can't promise you anything but love my arms and my ears I can promise to be there for you as long as it doesn't hurt my soul but I can't give you everything you need or want I can do my best but I am no dream I am human and have all the limitations a human has I know you can't give me everything many times you exasperate me many times I want to leave thinking I'd be better off in a new place with a new history an no one's perceptions but I'll stay for I know I'll run out of places and I'll never find myself without my past and we can keep the past in the past but for me that means talking it through so it all makes sense I have few pieces you have most you made sense I'm still lost if someone else more willing shared the story I'd talk to them but you're it and re-thinking it is going to make me less of a paradise girl it's going to hurt both of us so be it it's your choice you have the human with all her insecurities and confusion but who loves you or you have a dream girl who belongs in reverie for she has no flaws she is nothing but air I don't try to hurt you I have no malice for you but I doubt and taking makes me more hopeful brings me truth heals me so long as you don't yell at me Psychic 2 - May 24, 2001 You know that astrologer lady who you always say is surprisingly accurate she says that yesterday and today are my most romantic they would have been had you not done what you did I think it would have been good if this time you did listen to her to stay together through everything but my thoughts don't have as much influence as hers or your counselor's perhaps that's what's wrong |
| Never Having to Say You're Sorry - September 28, 2002 I have many regrets not telling my boyfriend about the woman I was seeing not telling her about herself not telling myself what had to be admitted not being emotionally available to my exes not working on myself and being someone else's therapist when I needed a closer examination hurting countless people with my biting honesty not saying, "yes" when I needed to and, "no" when I should have not enforcing boundaries when they were important and enforcing them to create other walls not calling when I said I would and not saying what I was thinking when I did and here I am once again lonely though I'd be stupid to say it's all my fault for I am only human my only wish is for someone to be divine enough to forgive and take it from there The Other Woman - September 28, 2002 why do you haunt me still when I only knew you a few weeks I remember every detail of every conversation I remember counting the minutes until you started work and crying when you didn't pick me up what started as a crush has ended as something else for what it's worth and all I can do is stare across the table from me and wonder when and if it will be you on the other side Play Toy - May 29, 2001 you're too used to misery that you can't handle something great with me should I open the cage and set you free so that you will have complete time to yourself alone with your misery or should I stay here with my misery waiting for you to need consoling should I completely cut you off would it tell you how much I don't need this how much I have elected to go through this for you for us I still don't think I deserve this bullshit your lack of consideration on my birthday your lack of wanting to try you just throw things away when they aren't the best because "working is too hard" perhaps I should never have met you never have fallen but dearie what's keeping me here you agreed to a week off and said on Saturday it's too early to see me but took me to dinner on Sunday throwing a tidbit to a dog is that all I am to you? Psychic - May 23, 2001 Remember that dream I had where you came by and gave me back something and then walked away it happened I told you I have premonitions you gave me my heart back I didn't want it but you gave it and then you conveniently went to work will I see you tomorrow as you said I don't have it in writing so I don't have a guarantee pity that you're right you have no timing |
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