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(written January, 1999) Characters: Kirsten #1 - the Kirsten of Today Kirsten #2 - the Kirsten of the past Tony Fly - radio DJ (almost like Howard Stern) Joe McIntyre - the youngest New Kid on the Block (now 26) Fan - a 20-something-year-old female who is just too excited and emotional (The stage is set on one side like a radio DJ's room. Kirsten #1 stands on the other side and has no interaction with the others on the stage. She talks to us, whereas the actors on the other side talk to each other) KIRSTEN #1 - Okay, so who here remembers New Kids on the Block? Don't be ashamed. Raise your hands . . . Well, I will admt that I was a big fan of theirs. The reason why I brought them up is because this: the youngest one, Joe, is making a come-back. I kid you not. Pardon the pun. I know this, well, because I am on the NKOTB fan mailing list. Yes, indeed. So, there is still a bit of fan-dom in me. But, anyway, Joe is staging a comeback and is currently visiting radio stations all over the country promoting his new single and CD. The CD is supposed to come out in March, but I already own a copy of the original one because I ordered it off his web-site. He only made 2,000 copies of it for his fans. So, anyway, when I found out that he was going to be on a radio station from the Cities, I got all excited. And, so I taped the entire broadcast . . . and you'll never guess what. Tony, the DJ said that if anyone listening had a question that the number was such-and-such. I had always wanted to talk to him. So, I scribbled down the number. (on the stage are JOE, TONY FLY, and the first four rows of the Chelsea crowd (go here if you don't know what I'm talking about), acting like 20-something-year-old women being 14-year-old girls again. Joe's single has just ended playing) TONY: It's 101.3 KDWB. Joe McIntyre and "Stay the Same." JOE: Yeah, man. So, what do ya think, man? TONY: I like it. I like it. I like it. You know something? I was looking for a song for me and my girl? That's our song now. JOE: NICE! Atta boy. TONY: Actually, I couldn't really pay attention cuz everybody was squealing while the song was going on, trying to grope you. (people on stage giggle) JOE: (doesn't know what to say) Well, check it, well, check it out. (a FAN interrupts the discourse and talks to JOE rather emotionally) FAN: I would just like to say that you just made my day by today. JOE: (touched) Aw, thank you. FAN: (walking back to her spot) Thank you so much. Thank you, Joe. JOE: Well, Tony, yeah. Tony's the agent, man. He's the Man, man. Let's give it up for Tony! ("women" on stage cheer and scream - JOE says to them) So, I want you to bother Tony every night . . . Gotta call in. Ask for the song. It's . . . real great. KIRSTEN #1: This whole time I am on the phone waiting anxiously. I didn't know if I was going to speak to him or not. The operator just put me on hold and there I was, listening to the radio show both through the phone and on the radio. TONY: Well, I have a bunch of people on hold. Would you like to talk ot them real quick? JOE: Sure. TONY: All right. Well, I didn't screen them - JOE: It's always fun that way. TONY: Hello? KDWB. KIRSTEN #2: Hello? KIRSTEN #1: I didn't know if I had been put on or not, there was no click or anything. So, I answered not knowing if I had gotten through. TONY: Hey, how ya doin'? KIRSTEN #2: I'm fine. I'm great. KIRSTEN #1: I still didn't know if I was on or not, but his resonses seemed to come rather naturally after mine and I heard no voice coming out of the radio. So, MAYBE that meant I was on . . . JOE: (to TONY) I think she's, like, looking for tickets to some other concert . . . TONY: (doesn't hear JOE, talks to KIRSTEN #2) You're talking to Joey McIntyre. KIRSTEN #2: (stunned) Oh, wow. (KIRSTEN #2 laughs nervously, "women" on stage laugh at her) KIRSTEN #1: (beams) So, I finally got my chance to meet him. TONY: What's your name? KIRSTEN #2: Kirsten. TONY: And where are you calling from? KIRSTEN #2: (sarcastic "excitement" in voice, I mean, really, it's NORTHFIELD) Uh, Carleton College in Northfield, MN. TONY: And what did you want to say? KIRSTEN #2: Well, I, uh, have a copy of the CD which I ordered off the internet and I was wondering if that was your handwrtiting on the nevelope? (laughs nervously) KIRSTEN #1: I thought that since the Accidentals could package our CD's by hand and write the addresses and whatever, that he might have done something like that, too. JOE: On the envelope? No, no, no . . . TONY: Yeah, he's doing it all. He's doing it all. He actually took the picture of himself - JOE: SHHH! TONY: . . . He had a little timer there - JOE: SHHH! No, it isn't actually. It isn't. TONY: He's a heavyweight. JOE: I - it takes a lot of work. But, I didn't do THAT much work. I didn't lick the STAMPS, but, you know (KIRSTEN #2 laughs) I, uh - KIRSTEN #2: It's just that I knew it was a very small production, I mean, OF the CD - JOE: (nods) Yeah, yeah. KIRSTEN #2: And I was just wondering. TONY: All right. Well, thanks a lot. KIRSTEN #2: All right. JOE: Hey, and thanks for buying it! KIRSTEN #1: So, I finally got to meet him. Afterwards, I felt so dumb, as probably I should. But, you know, it was nice. I got to be fourteen again. |
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