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Insert Something Creative Here
Characters:
Bob: a Carleton student who hasn't gotten some in a LONG time and who is 100%
toasted from alcohol
Announcer: Sincere, with a low, soothing voice
First Two rows of Chelsea audience
Author's note: This is based on a real event. I kid you not. One night a
friend of mine got so inebriated that he started soliciting everyone in his
dorm.
WARNING: strong language
ANNOUNCER stands on stage with first two rows of Chelsea crowd, who are acting
as if at a party. But, they do not speak a word. BOB walks amongst the group
soliciting each person. He should try not to ask each person as he comes to
them. Maybe go here and then go to the opposite side of the stage and ask
another person. He says his one line to each person he solicits.
Bob: Fuck me. (to next person) Fuck me. (etc. When he is done making the
rounds BOB yells at the top of his lungs, (Shawshank Redemption-style if
possible) FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (all
on stage FREEZE, except for ANNOUNCER.)
ANNOUNCER: Need he suffer like this? Surely, this is inhumane? Well now YOU
can help our friend Bob. With just a small donation of YOUR body, you can help
Bob get some satisfaction and happy hormones once again. Please do not delay.
Call our toll-free number NOW. Bob is currently taking ALL offers. please help
Bob from suffering. Your help is appreciated. (he FREEZES, BOB unfreezes)
Bob: FUCK ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!