By Dan Bern
Transcribed by Jared… (F#/D= 0200230, Capo first Fret) whole song seems basically this patern.. G F#/D Em C over and over… great song..)
G F#/D Em
God came to me in a dream
C G
I knew it was God
F#/D Em C
Because He had a long white beard
G
And a pink striped tunic
F#/D C G
And the word “God” was spelled out above him
G F#/D G
And an arrow pointed at his head
Well, just now it occurs to me
He could be a dog
He could be a dgo
He could be a gdo
As in Waiting for Godot
But no, no, no
It spelled “God”
The Kabbala is for crazy people
Not for me
And not, might I be so bold to say, not for God
I said, “Hey God,…hey God, ….hey God
How’s it hanging, tough guy?”
He said, “Lower yourself before me”
I lay down naked on the floor
He said,“ We’re on the 14th floor
Can’t you get a little lower?”
So I got in the elevator
Rode to the basement
And I lay down naked on the floor
It was cold and it was crawly
But He said, “Lower yourself before me”
I said, “I’m lying naked in the basement floor
He said, “We’re at 3000 feet here”
So I went to the airport.
Hopped a flight to Phoenix
Which wasn’t hard to do
Because every plane flies to Phoenix
Even if you’re flying from say, New York to Boston
You’ve got to go through Phoenix
And when I got to Phoenix
I rented me a car
From Budget Rent-a-Car
Because Hertz and Avis and the others
Wouldn’t rent to me in my nakedness
And I rode out to Death Valley
And I lay down naked on the floor
And I said, “Hey God,…hey God, ,…hey God
How’s it hanging, tough guy?”
He said, “The age of specialization is over”
I said, “Excuse me?”
He said, “The age of specialization is over”
I said “Excuse me God, I thought that’s what you said
But you sound like a Time Magazine editorial
If I go back to the others and say I just talked to God
And the eleventh commandment includes the word specialization or something…”
And He said, “What do you mean, eleventh commandment?
There are only eight, right?”
I said, “Ten, God, ten. You gave Moses ten commandments”
He said, “Excuse me, I ought to know , I only gave him eight”
I said, “well I guess he added two more on his own
And god seethed,
And thunder and lightning crashed the heavens,
And God said, “ At least I hope he didn’t change the ones I gave him
Like the one about the moose”
I said, “The one about the moose?”
He said, “Yeah , you know, thou shalt not be mean to a moose”
I said, “Oh yeah, of course, commandment six, about the moose
I thought now there’s a chutzpah
I’m here lying to the Lord
And I thought, yeah, whatever, no one’s perfect
Besides, I don’t need that lighting jazz,
While I’m naked in the desert
So I said, “No more specialization eh?”
He said, “Yes that’s right “
Everybody can drive, and everyone can cook ,
Everyone can paint, everyone can sing,
Everyone can dance, and everyone can love
I said, “Whoa, hold on there, buddy,
Sounds like a nation of dilettantes you want.”
He said, “That is correct.
Everybody should do everything
I shrugged my shoulders and said “0kay I’ll tell them”
He tapped me on the shoulder and said, “One more thing”
I said, “Yeah what is it
And He made me stand up,
He gave me some underwear
And He whispered in my ear
The best, the best, the best is yet to come
The best, the best, the best is yet to come
The best, the best, the best is yet to come
And I said, “Hey God,…hey God,…hey God