A Time For No Words, part 2

Rated: NC-17
Disclaimer: All right, the only place this ever happened is in my over stimulated imagination. The only place I've ever met D.H. and D.J. is in my head and no Savage Garden members were harmed during the writing of this story. I have dreamt about having the ability to make money out of writing-but it sure as hell ain't happening here.
If you can't handle m/m encounters you probably shouldn't read this.
Dedications: To the people who *attempted* to teach me the ancient mysteries of commas and capital letters.

A Time For No Words
by Jools

PART 2
For those few minutes before he woke, to an observer, Daniel looked at total peace. He lay sprawled out across the large bed, his back against the mattress, left leg bent sharply away from his body, face turned slightly in the same direction. His left hand entwined in his dark blond hair. A crisp linen sheet lay swathed across his hips, at an angle, partly covering his right thigh, his tanned torso on offer to the play of the morning light. Only his thickly matted hair and the sheet beneath him, having escaped corners of his bed in his restlessness, betrayed the troubled night he'd had. There had been tossing and turning, thumping of pillows. He had rolled onto his side, flat on his stomach, again on his back, he'd even had his head at the foot of the bed at one time, all in a desperate attempt to shut off his screaming mind and fall into the serenity of sleep.
There had been no relent this time. Even his dreams were filled with his dark haired partner. Only now, when he was close to waking, had his body and mind descended into a state of calm.
He felt the sun on his face before he opened his eyes. It spilled into the room through un-shaded windows sheathing the room with light and bringing with it the opportunities only a new day could bring. These days reminded Daniel of home and he normally welcomed them with the windows open and the light on his face.
Today, he merely swallowed and turned his face from the sun. He opened his eyes, verdant in the morning sunlight and focused his gaze on the artificial red light of the digital clock. 7:15.
"Shit!" Daniel sighed. He knew he didn't even wake this early at Christmas, not since the year he got his first guitar. He'd known, even at that young age, that all other Christmases would pale. When he'd last looked at the clock, it had been 4:30. He let his lashes slide shut again, thankful of the rest he'd managed. Darren was there, in Daniel's thoughts, his vision. The singer's pain-filled blue eyes bore into Daniel from behind a crooked arm. Daniel's eyes snapped open. He didn't want to see that.
Turning fully on his left side, he grabbed hold of the linen, which floated over his skin as he secured it around his chin, curling up into the security of the foetal position. He stared out of the window, at the clear blue sky. This was the sort of morning that could inspire the soul but Daniel's soul was heavy, a burden simple aesthetics could not overcome.
"I love you, Darren."
His words replayed in his mind for the hundredth time. He had said it. At the time he'd wanted to say it. Did he somewhere deep inside him want to say it again? But now he knew it had been foolish. Dangerous even. He couldn't let Darren believe that. He had known Darren was feeling used, distanced from Daniel. He'd known there would be awkward tension between them for days it was always the same.
But Darren was no innocent in this. As always, in the days leading up to this, he had wound Daniel up mercilessly.
Once again it had started innocently enough. "I like that shirt on you," Daniel had smiled.
"Thank-you Jonesy," Darren had replied, his eyes sparkling wickedly as he ran his hand across his chest. "'Course, I prefer it when we're both naked."
Daniel turned his face swallowing hard. Darren had smiled at the visible up and down movement of his partner's prominent Adam's apple.
Daniel didn't want this started again. It only ever led one place-a place Daniel didn't feel comfortable being.
"You're such a prick," Daniel bit back as he stood to leave.
"No you don't," Darren reached out and caught the taller man's arm. Daniel felt the hairs rise on the back of his neck.
"Why do you keep doing this," Daniel pleaded, not struggling as Darren moved closer to him.
"'Coz you want me to," Darren breathed only millimetres from Daniel's ear. Daniel bit down on his lower lip. He heard his heart racing through his chest. "Don't be coy," Darren, teasing now as he circled Daniel, an almost predatory look on his face.
Daniel groaned inwardly as he felt the singer's hip brush against the front of his trousers.
"You want me, don't you?"
Daniel's mind swam with those last words. //Was that a challenge?//A Question?//A statement?//
"No," Daniel stated firmly, secretly shuddering as a hand trailed his arm. "We've been through this. I'm not into guys."
He winced as Darren's almost cruel laughter filled his ears.
"Remember that next time you're inside me, lover."
"Fuck you," Daniel spat back angrily, hurt by the other's taunts.
"What here? Now? What if someone came in?" Darren settled now directly in front of Daniel, smiling almost innocently. "Daniel, Daniel, Daniel." The darker man chided. "Always so serene, so gentle. Do those green eyes burn as passionately for any woman? Does anyone else see that golden skin of yours, flushed red and bathed in sweat, as you moan like a madman?"
Daniel caught Darren's hand as it trailed down his chest, gently running the tips of his fingers over the blonde's pecs.
"Stop with the fucking games," Daniel angrily pushed the hand away. "You're my best friend and I love you as such, but that's it," moving away now, towards the door. "You got that?"
"Yeah whatever," Darren almost laughed as he dropped back down into his seat. "You tell yourself whatever makes you happy, whatever lie you can live with."
The door was open and a sense of relief washed through Daniel as he stepped out of the room.
"A week, Daniel," Darren called after him, not caring who heard.
"You'll be fucking me before the weeks out. When are you gonna be honest with yourself."
It hadn't been a week this time. Daniel had fought it for three days, but his body responded to every "accidental" touch. He could almost feel himself in Darren's mouth, every time the singer licked his lips suggestively at him.
When their eyes met, both green and blue moved hungrily over the other's body, before locking again.
By the third day, Daniel could think of nothing but this tormenting imp. All resolve, all argument, perhaps, in Daniel's mind, all sanity, gone as he became controlled by his need to possess and to be possessed.
Yet still, when it was over, he had seen the pain in Darren's eyes.
He could see it even when blocked by his friend's back and the further shielding of his arm. He hated dragging Darren along this path. He'd known those three words would flush out all the pain, the recriminations Darren was experiencing. He knew *now* the relief would be temporary. The moment they were together he had to make it clear nothing had changed. He had to let Darren know there had been no confession, merely magical words, used to cast a healing spell.
Daniel felt a new pang of guilt bite him. He had to break the spell but knew this would throw the new emotions of gullibility and foolish optimism into Darren's pain.
He shouldn't have said it.
He shouldn't have said it because now he had to ask himself if it was *more* than that. Now he had to ask *himself* if he was in love with Darren. Had he exposed himself in that way? Left himself open to be hurt again?
He knew for certain his life was filled by Darren.
The only time they were parted, were those few hours a night and even then, only by thin hotel walls. Rather than run for fear of being stifled by Darren, he positively craved being in his companion's light. He knew Darren sought him in the same way.
But was that love?
"No," Daniel told himself, "Darren's a guy and I don't do love. I haven't done love since..."
For a brief moment, the image of another lover's dark hair and blue eyes flashed across his thoughts. Angry sounds replayed in his ears, but he couldn't identify the words. Daniel felt his stomach tightening and his breath became fast. An almost engulfing sense of fear coursed through his body.
He shook his head fiercely, humming a tune in his mind, fighting to force the unwelcome memory away. Wildly, over and over he played the little tune in his head until finally, all thought and feelings were gone.
Daniel didn't seek to question what had happened.
He had no inclination to try and make any sense. A sense of peace overtook him. He had defeated the memory again.
He lay trembling for a few moments, washed out from all the wretched soul searching, the damned tissue tearing. Mercifully he drifted back into sleep and this time, bathed in the light of the sun, there was peace...

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