NOVEMBER 2003
November 2003
November 6, 2003:
So I'm late again. But I don't have CW today, so I think it's time to fill you in w/what's going on in my life since October. I'm hangin' in there w/bronchitis because it's a rule, of course, that I must absolutely get terribly sick at least once every year. I'm also supposed to get an ear infection once every year, and that hasn't happened yet. Or has it? I'm not sure. Well, the whole gallbladder surgery thing kinda makes up for the illnesses that are minor that I've missed out on all year long. *snorts* So I'm dealing. Too much work on top of more work that I procrastinate w/.....even w/o procrastinating there wouldn't be enough hours in the day to get everything done, and I can't take it. I'm so terrified of being like Chuck and getting too sick to be able to even handle school any more, and I'll have to drop out and end up as a manager @ BK like him. I so scared that I'm not going to make it sometimes. But how sad is it when even dr. appts. take a backseat to school, etc., and it's just another chore/inconvenience to get yourself checked out?? That is a sad thing to not put your health first. But the other day I missed a desk shift. It was an hour, and Phil covered it for me because he takes care of me like that because he's a good guy [one of the few]. And I guess I "missed" a desk shift for another hour for Chris Mantz this morning, even though I told her that I couldn't do it because I had a lecture to go to for class. There was just a misunderstanding, etc., but it was annoying when I called her and heard her ask me why I wasn't there to cover the shift for her that I said I would from 11am-noon. So I told her again that I had the lecture and even reminded her about how I called her THREE times yesterday about the shift I wanted covered for tonight because I want to go to the movies w/Jason and everyone else. The first time I called her I asked if she'd cover my 9-10pm and told her I'd take a shift of hers. So she asks me to take her 11am-1pm today [which, BTW, isn't one hour like mine........it's two...but because she was doing me a favor for no reason other than me wanting to go out instead of work I said I'd take the two hours]. I called the second time to tell her that I couldn't work 12-1pm because Spanish [oh, yeah, that language thing or something...] is @ noon for me. Then I checked out the planner to write in 11am-noon........yeah, there's the lecture penciled in for the same time. So I called her the third time to tell her that I couldn't work that shift for her AT ALL. She still agreed to take my 9-10pm, which it EXCELLENT, but I definitely owe her a few because she also took some of my other shifts that I have real reasons for missing [like the NYC trip w/the English dept. for CW]. But it also pissed me off when she was like, "Well, if you see Dennis can you tell him that it was just a misunderstanding?" Like it's even my misunderstanding! Seriously. Why couldn't she tell Dennis that it was a misunderstanding and that she missed her shift? Her misunderstanding, her shift, she missed it. But I should talk to Dennis? Right, so I went down to the desk because Dennis was there. So was Alta, and she asked who's taking responsibility for the shift, so I told her that Chris was. Her shift, right? John covered it, though. Just makes me mad. So dumb. But at least I still get to go the fuck out somewhere tonight. That is, as long as Chris doesn't back out of the shift now. And I'm scared that the people who took the other shifts for me aren't going to remember that they're covering or something and will forget. And because it's my shift I'll be in trouble for not having it taken care of or something. It's just a big hassle, and I don't need the added stress. I don't even know what my grades are right now. :( *sad face* I need a long break to get away and think about everything and get it together and get well and feel better and be able to take the weight back up on my shoulders. I guess the other thing is that I'm not dating Phil any more. Yeah, that happened about two weeks ago, I suppose. But it just wasn't working for me, and I had to think about how I was feeling and worry less about hurting his feelings, which is what took me so long. I just didn't want to lead him on and hurt him more later. So I got all worried and obsessed about hurting him and didn't want to because I like spending time w/him, and he's a close friend of mine, and I didn't want to lose that part of it, but I just couldn't be in a relationship. I think I just need to take another break for a while from everything unnecessary. I mean, I want a relationship. I want to have someone I can go out w/and give my affection to and be all mushy like I am. But I think it's just too much. It wouldn't be much of a relationship from my end, and that's what happened w/Phil. He was more about it than I was, and he thought he loved me for real when he said so. But I'm not so naive that I actually believe that you can really love someone, whether you tell them or not, in the time span of a month. Well, maybe if you're soulmates. BUT THAT'S A TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY ALTOGETHER!!! I haven't met my straight soulmate yet, hahaha.....there's Chris, though, so I'm happy. And there's always "Matt Burns hugs" because we've trademarked them now, hahahahaha....fun shit in LH. I love this place most of the time. I should probably get something to eat and take my drugs for this bronchitis and get a little work done [since class was cancelled!!]. So I'll talk to you all later [or the next time I have a crisis or when I get my next break to take a deep breath......not that I can because I have bronchitis, and I haven't breathed deeply for a week or I start coughing and have to regain control....], so take care until then, and DON'T PROCRASTINATE!!! Easier said than done when you're in college, eh?
November 13, 2003:
Just got back from Chris's and Becky's program about healthy relationships. Turns out when I think about a healthy relationship I have the first relationship I think about is the one I have w/Chris. We took this little quiz photocopied from a textbook about how you feel about your relationship, and Chris and I had every one of the "good" answers checked and none of the "bad" answers. And the most comforting thing of all is that I know he'll always be there for me. No matter what else happens around me and how my life changes Chris will always be there, and I know that the future w/my relationship w/him will always be there. He's still going to plan my wedding [especially the bachelorette party!!!!], and they'll be housewarming parties and baby showers and every rite of passage there is in life, and I know that he'll always be involved in those things w/me. That's the most comforting thought I could possibly find in this world. So no matter how stressful things get and how much I'm sick or feel like I'm losing my mind I know there's so much more to look forward to. Now Chris is talking to this new guy, Lukas, and he's so excited about him. I'm so happy that Chris found someone new to get excited about, and he might get to see him this weekend, and I hope I do, too. ;) I just want Chris to be happy, and if someone hurts him, then that someone hurts me, too, and I'm so there to stand up for myself and for Chris and to make sure he's safe. That's all that matters to me is that his heart doesn't get broken. Not that I can always stop that from happening, but then I'm here for him to talk to and as a shoulder to cry on. That was a great program tonight. Glad I went.
November 17, 2003:
HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY, STEPH!!!!! So it's Monday again. It's been a Hell of a Monday already, let me tell you. I mean, as if this year on the whole hasn't been long enough or difficult enough or unhealthy enough........there's always another Monday, isn't there? The oddest thing is, though, that I'm not in a bad mood. I'm not down or sad or feeling sorry for myself right now when it's as good a time as any to feel that way, I'm sure. But this weekend was just odd. I went home, and I was glad to see some of the HS gang, and it was nice, but it's always weird for me to go home. Dad always tells me that I'm welcome any time, but I never thought otherwise, considering it's my house. It's where I grew up for almost the entire 20 years of my life. At least 16-17 years of my life were spent growing up and going to school and graduating and making friends to have over in that house. I'd consider it "home" even. But I strangely somehow feel more at home even here at school in my dorm. In my little room that I share w/another person. My desk in the same space as my kitchen and my bedroom and her stuff......that's weird to me that I should feel more at home away from home than I do when I visit home for the weekend. Dad's like, "You have a key." I feel like a visitor. Like a guest, really, because my old bedroom isn't my bedroom any more. And I've had to move everything I own into Kyle's old bedroom, more used for storage for the air conditioners now that it's cold outside than as my bedroom when I go home. I tend to sleep downstairs on the big couch in front of the even bigger TV. So going home isn't really home. And my HS friends are great, and I'm glad we still occasionally see each other, and it's good to know that the classic couples of HS-Steph and Langley, Sam and Chris, Heather and Sean, and Missy and Adam [they're engaged]-are still together because that leaves hope for the rest of us if they've made it work. But in the same context it's not the same any more, of course, because we all have other lives outside what used to be in HS and the friends we used to know or maybe still do. We're different people, and we've grown up and apart since graduation. This past weekend was actually the first time since graduation that I've seen Chris Bechtel, so that was really nice, and it was still just the same, of course, and I was glad for that. So Jim and Jamie also visited KU from NY this past weekend, so I came back early yesterday to see them before they left. I saw Jamie just for a little bit, and I saw even less of Jim. Long enough to tell him one more time what I think of him. He has a boyfriend now, and the guy seems way too nice for Jim, but that's how Jim likes his men. Jim always has been looking for someone to make his bitch for a little while. Until he gets bored and dumps him. So he'll probably do the same w/this guy. But we all thought that Jim left Jamie here in K-town yesterday. His car wasn't here all day. And Jamie called him about a hundred million times and said that he left a message even, and I guess Jim made up excuses for not getting any of Jamie's calls or his message because Jamie didn't know what was going on and decided to take a bus back to NY, thinking Jim had left him here in PA and gone back w/o him. And all of us actually believed that Jim would do something like that to Jamie, so what does that say about how people around here think about Jim?? We all obviously realize he's an asshole and would be a prick enough to do something like that if we all honestly believed that he'd gone back w/o Jamie. I don't think Jim knows what's what w/the people he considers friends. He doesn't know how we all feel about him inside. And when I'm the brave one and say something to him about how I see him and how I feel he gets pissed, says his good byes and leaves. Maybe I'll never see him again for real this time. Nah, he'll probably IM me in a week or so. Next time he's online at GAY.COM. Looking for a new lover. So that was a big bust that they bothered to come and visit because all Jim did was try to show off his boyfriend for everyone and put on the same old act and try to impress people, and I didn't get to see Jamie very long before he left on the bus. So I feel like it was a waste of Jamie's time to come such a long way to visit everyone and not even get to visit much. Now Josh also visited this weekend, but I never did know him very well. I mean, he looks the same as he ever did, and I suppose he's doing well, which is great for him, and I'm glad, but I didn't really think about staying here this weekend to see him, so that's okay. And I never got to meet Lukas either. Chris was supposed to meet him for the first time this weekend, but Lukas wasn't able to make it because he was on duty, and that sucks because I know Chris was excited to meet him and everything, and I still have to meet him to approve. So maybe next weekend. It'll be Chris's birthday on Saturday, and I have to finish my plans for him. *evil laughter* And maybe he'll get to meet his boy for his birthday. That'd be nice, I think. But we'll see what happens, of course. I have a lot of planning to do, and it's a little close to be able to rest about it, so I need to get going w/this thing if it's going to work at all. Now that was this past weekend, and you know up until then, so I'll get back to the topic at hand, which is today's events. So Megan called me last night. I didn't know if it was going to be about Jim or about covering her shift this morning [because you know she can't work for an hour so early on a Monday morning.....], and maybe that's not the reason, but why else wouldn't you be able to work 7-8am on a Monday?? It's not like you're not going to be here. Unless she went home w/Mike or something, which I doubt considering that I signed him in under me because she's not allowed to have him here. She does it, anyway, and that's why she wasn't working for a while because she violated a visitation policy, etc., so she's already playing the repeat offender. And if she's caught, then I'd be caught because he's signed in under me, and he wasn't being escorted by me, so I'd be in trouble, too........I hate doing favors for people like that. I mean, I'd do anything for a select few, but favors for random people who I don't even know that well or trust very much.....that's not good for me. I realize that it's been a rough year for everyone, but Mike doesn't have to live w/her every weekend just because one of them is having a tough time, and I don't see why Megan doesn't ever go home to see him either. But I digress. I'm trying not to get personal and keep it DR-related. So I get to my shift this morning at 5:50am [actually I was EARLY], Dave's awfully rude to me before 6am on a Monday when I'm the one who's coming down to let him go to bed at last. At least he actually wasn't a dumbass and did rounds this time. Not that hard.........So I worked for an hour, and Chris Mantz comes out to take Megan's place. So I assumed that's what last night's phone call was about, after all. To take her shift for that hour this morning. And I come back upstairs, planning to get a shower, but I go back to bed. Go downstairs again for my 8-9am shift. When you have to be awake you just figure you can try to wake everyone else up or something.....I'm not sure.....but either way people don't say "good morning" when you say it to them on their way out. Or maybe a "have a good day" or a "enjoy your class"......I just try to be nice, but I usually don't get a response. Jason left, though, and he actually said something to me first, so that was nice. Came back upstairs and went back to bed for a little while longer, and I had to get up for class. Things have been slightly up since I woke up. I guess every time you wake up it's a different day. So I went to class, got my exam from Friday back, got an "A," and I was coming back to Lehigh. Saw Phil in the hall like I usually do between both of us having a 10am class in that hallway in Old Main. And this is the cool thing. Something I needed all along, and I just didn't really know it, I guess. But as he passes me in the hallway we say our hellos, and I waved from a distance, but he just grabbed my hand and gave it a nice little squeeze. I needed that, and it really made me smile. I didn't know that I needed it, but I guess I did, and I'll have to make a mental note to myself that I should let him know later that I appreciated it, even though he probably wasn't even thinking about it at the time. To him it was probably just something he randomly did. So I'll make sure I mention it later to him. I need to see my Christopher today, I think. I haven't talked to him about any of this stuff or going home or Jim or this morning, and he still has to tell me something about Dave pissing him off the other day, and I want to ask about his review by the board for APO because I think that was later on Sunday, which is probably why he wasn't here last night. The Wizard Of Oz was even on TV last night!! So I left him a message because I'm a dork. *LOL* Only three and a half more days of meds. before I'm supposed to be all better. I really do feel a lot better than I did, and my throat doesn't hurt as much, and I'm hardly coughing at all any more. So I'm glad that these meds. seem to be working this time. Maybe I won't have to go back to the dr. again. Only one more class before I'm almost free for the day. Until 7pm, that is. When I have to go to yet another lecture for CW. CW is just too demanding for my time outside class. It's ridiculous. And Blomain never answers my e-mails!!!! I get so mad. I e-mailed her almost a week ago, and she hasn't gotten back to me, and we've had class since then. I don't get it. But Dave, I think, is supposed to be covering my 6-8pm shift for me to go to this lecture. I'm not sure he'll remember, so I'm going to let the person before that know to call Dave and not me when no one shows for that shift. Because Chris Mantz covered for me on the 7th when I went to see my soulmate dance. So it's Dave's turn, and Chris is covering for me again on Thursday when I'm going on the NYC trip for CW. Again the outside of class.......so I e-mailed Dennis and Alta about the coverage, and I shouldn't be blamed for them not showing up because they signed up to take the shifts for me. I should get a little something for them. Dave, Chris Mantz, and John for covering random shifts for me. And Phil's even covering my 2-4am on Thurs. now because he got me out of bed last Thurs. morning when he had to leave suddenly on a call and I took part of his shift for him. He really doesn't have to do that, though. I want to make sure he's okay w/it still before he just does it. Phil's a good guy. I'll have to do something for him, too. And Dennis is graduating very soon, and I'm his secret buddy, so I want to do something really nice for him, too. I have a lot to do in the next few weeks before Christmas break!!! *sigh* Let's see if I hold up. I mean, I'm obviously feeling a little better, aren't I?? I think I'll run downtown to Dollar Tree after geometry and just pick up some candy or something. Write little notes to them to say that I appreciate them putting up w/me this month because November's really crazy. I'm sure other ppl covered shifts for me, too, though. Not that I remember who they were. Phil did a few times, and we switched, but I'm not sure who else covered for me. Wow, I'm really excited about not working 2-4am on Thurs.!!! *LOL* And I need to look for a roommate for next year. I have no idea who I'd be able to live w/. I'm not into this change, and I'm sure right now I'd hate anyone I'd live w/besides Abby. Damn. But it's time for geometry and shopping after!!! Woot! :-D I'm already really excited for Christmas cards!
November 18, 2003:
Okay, I'm having a bit of anguish here. I really feel like I'm not myself, and I can't seem to put my finger on exactly what's wrong or missing or off/not right or changed about me that makes me feel this way. I mean, it's probably a lot of things. I'm just going to lay it all out for you. The fact that I'm PMSing right now may have something to do w/all of this, but I don't have the tendency to PMS usually, so something's obviously been thrown off maybe by my bronchitis and being sick forever, and I'm not sure, but my hormones probably aren't right on right now. It's something I want to keep in mind for myself, but I doubt it's of very much importance. Okay, so lately I guess I've been feeling a bit left out. This happened to Chris when I started dating Phil, and he felt left out and like I had found someone to replace him because we didn't spend much time together for a little while there. He told me about it, and I was so glad that he was able to be straightforward w/me and just let me know how he was feeling, and I was able to, I believe, fix the problem, and I tried to reassure Chris that no one could ever replace him. Very true!! So I guess it's me this time who's feeling a bit left out. I mean, the bad weekend could've had something to do w/bringing this to the surface because I went home and was left out by being one of the only single ppl there all weekend. I don't feel like I really belong at Dad's because my bedroom is being used as storage space, so I'm left out there, and when I come back to KU everyone's visiting, and Chris has time w/Jim and his boyfriend [again I'm the single one]. Not only Jim, but Chris is interested in this new guy, Lukas, and I'm truly happy for him, and I'm glad he's found someone to talk to and maybe potentially start a relationship w/, but I suppose it's along the same line as what happened when I started dating Phil. Chris felt like I was replacing him w/Phil, and I feel a bit the same that Chris is replacing me w/Lukas. It's all understandable, and it's bound to happen any time either of us is interested in someone because we're going to be all excited about having a new guy around and being w/that guy, and we're going to tend to think more about the new guy than the ppl we can see every day normally. So I understand that it happens, and I'm even guilty of it, so I know it's pretty easy to let it happen w/o even thinking about it. And feeling left out isn't the only issue I'm dealing w/that makes me feel not myself in this jumble of weirdness that I don't believe I've ever felt before, so I'm dealing w/this for the first time. That's probably another factor in it. I don't believe I've ever felt this way before, so I have to get to the bottom of it and cut off the very source[s] of the feeling. Chris tells me that I shouldn't be looking for a guy. I'll find someone when I'm not looking, and then it'll happen, and I know that's true, and I honestly have to admit at this point that I don't believe I have what it takes right now in any capacity to deal w/a relationship. I definitely don't have what it takes emotionally if I'm trying to just get back to the old me, normal me. I'm not interested in a physical relationship. I think the only people I need right now are my friends. And when I say "friends," well, that means that even if I only have one available friend, then it's Chris I'd need first. So I'm excited that I have the people I need. I just need to be w/them and work this out until I'm normal me again. But I'm stressed out and don't have the time to just sit around and think about myself for hours on end or have deep discussions about my feelings because I have too much other shit to do. It's almost Thanksgiving, and there are about 2-3 weeks [maybe?] left in the entire semester. So I have a lot to wrap up in the next 2 weeks. I have to get together a portfolio for CW, and there are finals coming up really fast here, so I already have to worry about that. In fact, this entire semester has been the most difficult I've had here @ KU, and I'm worried that it's only going to get worse from here. I need to think about getting a job. Maybe over Winter Break. Definitely when summer's here. And those teacher observation hours aren't going to experience themselves, so I have to write letters to schools to request that they let me come in and observe. But we're out of school when schools are out of school, so I need to find times when we're out while HSs are in. Maybe a bit of Winter Break, maybe May. Maybe a break next semester. But I need these hours by the end of this school year in May, I think. So school's just regular stress. Of course, everyone else has that, so it's not something that only I have to deal w/. I just wish I could get to the bottom of this and find out what it is that's bothering me. There's something that's not right, and I'm definitely not myself. And if I'm changing in some way, then I don't like what I'm becoming, so I want to see why I'm changing and what's making me change. Court has her own problems, too, and Abby has her own problems, and everyone else has their own problems, but they seem to be dealing w/everything just fine, so I want to figure out what I have to do to make this easy for myself. And now I'm starting to second guess myself about things I should be [and was!!] sure about. Like what I said to Jim. I was being honest, and it's how I felt, and I didn't raise my voice or yell at him, and I didn't get hostile or out of line or up in his face about it. It was conversational tone, and I just told him what I was thinking right to him, point blank, just laid it out like I'm doing now. So I wasn't nasty about it, and I said what I wanted to say to him. So I think I handled myself and the situation well, and I think I was right to say what I said and do what I did and tell him how I felt that way, and maybe I offended him, and maybe he hates me and never wants to see me or speak to me ever again. And that's fine, too, because that's how he feels and what he wants. I'm still not blaming him for anything. I didn't blame him. I just put it out there. That's all. And I think I'm right. Maybe he's changing as a person, and maybe he's better than when he was here, which is great, but I just don't believe it as much. I don't see the big change. I do feel bad, maybe guilty, about what I said, but that doesn't change that I think I'm right. And I should stay w/that instead of second guessing myself. I always say that there's a cause and an effect. The cause is the situation, person, environment, event, etc., and the effect is the feeling or emotion that comes about. And every feeling or emotion that a person has, whether it be happiness or love or anger or jealousy.....if you have an emotion, then it's somehow justified because you have it at all in the first place. Something had to be there to cause the emotion. Therefore, you're right to feel any way you feel at any time. Everything's personal if you're a person. I was just thinking that I talked to Chris online last night, and he just IMed me a smiley face just because, I guess, for no real reason. And it's just what I needed at the time. It honestly made me feel better and made me smile. Okay, number 17....."Be decisive even if it means you'll sometimes be wrong." I have this list called 21 Suggestions For Success that I got from Dad's best friend, Todd, for graduation. So I brought it to school w/me, and it's sitting on my desk. That's number 17. Number 5 says, "Be forgiving of yourself and others." Number 15 says, "Be honest." There are a lot of good ones on here......so I guess I kind of hit most of the things I wanted to hit w/this entry. It's more of a sorting out of everything than anything, I guess. Just for myself. Just because I need it. So I need to go take a shower. *LOL* I have CW in a bit, and I feel like utter shit right now. I'll always be back. Number 11 says, "Commit yourself to constant improvement." And number 8..."Persistence, persistence, persistence."
November 21, 2003:
So I'm better than I was. Getting there, and I'm pretty happy right now. I went to NYC yesterday, and I had a blast and got to see a bit of the city and catch a show. We left KU around 2pm, got to NYC around 4pm. The bus dropped us off on 42nd Street, and I had been chatting w/this guy, Paul, from my CW class w/Blomain. I'd never talked to him before, but we both knew each other from class, so we decided to sit together on the bus because everyone's more comfortable w/someone they at least recognize as being familiar. We talked for a while leaving K-town, and I decided to nap while he read a book, and he eventually fell asleep, too. We woke up in sight of NYC, and I got really excited and started babbling again. We got dropped off and just decided to stick together, and Paul's been to the city before, so I thought it was nice to have someone around who knows where we're going. And I didn't want to get lost and have to stay there because I missed the bus or something. So we had until 7:30pm to just wander the city and do what we wanted, grab dinner, etc., so we walked down 42nd Street through Times Square and down to Central Park. We didn't go into the park, but we went down that far and took a turn and started to head back. We found a little place to eat and got pizza. Walked a little more and found a really good ice cream place [not that it wasn't freezing outside and probably too cold for ice cream]. We hit the Virgin Megastore and checked out some music, and part of it's a bookstore, so we headed down there and laughed at the fact that the sex books are right next to the children's section! We got bored and left there. The city was so much fun. Even the small part of it I got to see. And there was someone dressed like Rudolph, and Paul got a high five from Rudolph, hahahahaha. And we saw the Naked Cowboy [from TRL, I think??]. We walked down Fifth Avenue. I had so much fun! There was this benefit concert or something w/a snowflake lighting, etc., and Liv Tyler was supposed to be there, so Paul and I told everyone back on the bus that we saw Liv Tyler, even though we didn't actually see her, and I think they believed us, hahahaha......suckers. And everything just amazed me because I'm such a hick from around here. I mean, I saw some guy just walk out into the street and hold his hand out, and there's the taxi!! Amazing!!!! *LOL* Fun stuff, and I didn't stop laughing all day because Paul's so funny. It was nice to have someone to show me around, and I didn't get lost, and I had a great time hanging out w/him, and now we know each other a lot better than before when we hadn't ever spoken, so that's nice, too. We went back to the theatre for the show, and the show was great. It was funny, but it was meaningful, too, and the characters were people you could relate to because it was about college kids. Probably a little older than us because they were talking about graduation. It was a really fun show, and there were some great lines where you just went *stare as jaw drops*. It was good, and we left the theatre around maybe 10pm or a little after and got back to KU around 12:30am. Paul still had to drive to Reading, and that sucks. But we talked on the bus on the way back, both fell asleep again, and I was glad to get back to school and go to bed! I was hella tired. But I'm so glad I went, and I didn't miss Chris's Afterhours show!!! Woot. And I can't wait to tell him all about it. He's going to King Of Prussia later and has APO Lock In tonight for the pledges, and that'll be mad fun, so I'm excited to hear about his stuff, too, but tomorrow's his BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! So I hope he has fun w/that, too. Gives me time to plan everything because he'll be gone tonight for APO! Score!!! *LOL* So I have geometry and then SHOPPING!!! Because I'm still getting there. But I'll definitely be ready for tomorrow. *winks* So excited. And I'm getting back to my normal self. So I'm not sure what that was or if it's over yet. Oh, and I have to ask Phil about NY because he was auditioning for Millionaire. I got to say "hi" in the hall earlier today, but it was only long enough to ask "How was NY?" and for him to say, "Good, but I didn't pass." So he didn't pass the Millionaire test, but I'll talk to him in more detail later on, I hope. Maybe tonight when I'm getting ready for Chris. I hate geometry. Not the class, I guess, but the fact that it takes a big one-hour chunk out of my day and makes me do something other than sitting around in the room being lazy and typing on my computer. *LOL* Yeah, I'm ready to get outta here for a while. Can't wait until Thanksgiving Break!!!!
