FEBRUARY 2003
February 2003
February 1, 2003:
I'm writing you to catch you up on places I've been
And you have this letter, probably got excited, but there's nothing else inside it
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way with words
Today skies are painted colors of a cowboy cliche
And strange how clouds that look like mountains in the sky are next to mountains, anyway
Didn't have a camera by my side this time
Hoping I would see the world through both my eyes
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
No more 3x5s
I guess you have to be there
I guess you have to be with me
Today I finally overcame
Trying to fit the world inside a picture frame
Maybe I will tell you all about it when I'm in the mood to lose my way but let me say
You should have seen that sunrise with your own eyes
It brought me back to life
You'll be with me next time I go outside
No more 3x5s
Just no more 3x5s
John Mayer's "3x5" is so perfect to describe how overwhelming the world can be. Not only am I stumbling through endless struggles, whether large or small, but I miss Johnathan so much! This song reminds me so much that he's out there seeing such a small part of the world for the first time, and he'll be home soon! I can't wait to see him again! I hope he kept an awesome journal, and I'm girlishly excited to hear every single story. "She's always buzzing just like neon, neon." I wish I knew when he's coming home because I want to be sure I go home that weekend or two and see him before it's another year come and gone without. Can you believe that? The last time I saw Johnathan was January 2002 around New Year. It's already been longer than a year since I last saw him. I hope I haven't changed too much! Speaking of being a long since...I have obviously been busy and/or bored and/or lazy and haven't written for Thinking Aloud since November 2002, completely bypassing Christmas and New Year. I apologize for the lack of updates and new news, and I have been told about it from at least one fan. Things are still continuing on in my life, and I'm making my way steadily through the wilderness ["Like A Virgin"]. Yeah, I like to borrow phrases and try to plagiarize. *haha*...
...So maybe everything isn't crashing down around me. I'm in a most likely temporary good mood right now, but I don't forsee the future, and I could be down again by tonight. Why am I so bipolar? Call it dealing with life...
...This weekend I would be going to Punxsutawney to see Phil, the groundhog with shadow sense. But my grandfather is really sick, and Mom rushed to Virginia this past week with her sisters to try to take care of everything. I've heard from my mom that he's got a month left if he's lucky, so I'm pretty much expecting the call at any moment now that I should pack up and go. I feel so devastated because I already realize that I'll never see my grandfather alive again, but I also feel lucky that I haven't lost a grandparent until now, and I'm older than a lot of my friends were when they lost their first grandparent. And at least I know he won't have to suffer anymore. The toughest thing in life to deal with must be the knowledge that you're dying with nothing to do about it but wait for it to come. But to everyone celebrating this weekend, HAPPY GROUNDHOG DAY!
February 16, 2003:
It's been more than a week since my grandfather passed on February 3, 2003, and everything is surprisingly back to normal. I've been just fine since the funeral, and I think I just needed the closure of seeing him one more time. The happier news is that I'm going back to Virginia in about a month for Brandy's wedding! I'm so happy for her! Chad's an awesome guy, and she's going to be happy. In other news, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Once again I was single on Valentine's Day, but being single doesn't mean you don't get valentines! *LOL* Again being in college has its benefits, like having friends who love holidays. And with Valentine's Day being my favorite holiday of all they made February 14th fun for a single girl. I'm not sure what it is about me. I'm not much of a flirt at all, and maybe that's my problem. I don't have a million friends all over campus either. I prefer my tight-knit group of the usual suspects. Plus, I'm not gorgeous like Alex. She has a new guy chasing her every few hours! *LOL* But I'm not completely unfortunate looking either, which poses a question. In a campus student body of 8,000+ people, why don't I have a boyfriend? I haven't had a serious boyfriend in over a year! Well, at least no one can say I need a boyfriend or I'm not independent. Kyle has a girlfriend now, and he's happy with her, so I hope it lasts for them. Of course, Kyle's also a high school freshman, so I don't know how long it'll last. Dad and Kathy broke up. Sad. But I guess it wouldn't have worked out for the long haul. Time for Sky Ranch! More later.
February 22, 2003:
Johnathan's home! YAY! I got a phone call from him from Georgia and was so excited to hear his voice. *LOL* He made me feel a lot better with this flu. I've been sleeping all day and taking different medications for my coughing and my nose. I hope I can shake this flu soon.
