APRIL 2002
April 2002
April 1, 2002:
HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY! Get fooled today? I didn't.:) I called Johnathan today! It felt so good to hear his voice again. He called to wish me a happy Easter yesterday, but I was staying at Mom's last night, so he left me a message. What a sweet guy! The server in Kingsbay has been down for a couple of weeks, so he can't get on AIM to talk to me. I hope he's back online soon, though. I've been doing a lot of thinking about my love situation. I mean, being single rocks because I can flirt or whatever without worrying about hurting egos, but I wouldn't mind hanging out with a cool guy, you know? Flirting just doesn't cut it, I guess. I want to hang out or something. I read my horoscope for today, and it's actually pretty accurate. It says something about making a decision about a love situation. I thought a lot about Doug this past weekend, and I want to call him tonight. I don't know if I made a life-altering decision, but I reflected on my current situation a lot. I'm glad Johnathan called me because I honestly don't think that I would've called him first. I probably would've e-mailed him before I called him. I sure do miss him a lot, though. He won't be home again until at least September or October. He's graduating from "C" school on Tuesday, though! Congratulations, Sailor!;) Well, I have a short story rough draft to write for creative writing, and I haven't called Doug to wish him a happy Easter yet, so I must away to the phone! Good night, sleep tight, and don't let the bed bugs bite!
April 2, 2002:
I called Doug last night.:) Good conversation after my long weekend because I actually had something interesting to say to him. Welcome to Slatington, I guess. He mentioned something about a Navy banquet in June that he hopes I'm in town for.:) Sweetass deal! I told him that I'd love to go.:) I honestly think I'd have a blast getting all dolled up. I mean, I know I'd have fun with Doug, anyway. He said that it's a formal dinner thing, and I told him I'd pack my prom dress-haha! Talking to him again was great! Strangely, though, I kinda missed him all weekend. Calling Johnathan back yesterday was definitely a good idea, too. Hearing his voice again was refreshing. Going back to school wasn't as tough as I thought it would be yesterday-lol! At least I didn't fall asleep in prob. & stats. or something. I e-mailed Doug over lunch, of course. I love getting his e-mails every day. He only says "hi" or asks me how my day's going, but still, you know? It's just comforting to know that someone's thinking about me. Anyway, concert choir rehearsal tonight for tomorrow night's concert. How exciting! My short story for creative writing is coming along slow but sure. I don't have a substantial ending, but the final draft isn't due until next week, so I have plenty of time to work out the kinks. Wish me luck! I suppose I should get going now. Things to do, places to go, people to see! Stop prying into others' private lives and sign my guestbook already-haha!
April 6, 2002:
Well, today was an eventful day. Kutztown University, here I come! I visited the campus today and listened to about a thousand different lectures about financial aid and admissions, course selection and Connections, which I'll be participating in this summer, and boring raves about Kutztown's three wonderful eating venues-haha! After the visitation, I closed at work. I closed with Seham, the one manager I can't stand. Of course, now that I'm home I'm not tired. I got so scared last night! I wanted to work on my site, right, but my homepage was gone when I typed in my URL! I tried GeoCities, but my File Manager was gone, too! I had some trouble before with my site because someone who shall remain nameless hacked into my Yahoo! account and screwed up my HTML coding. Johnathan helped me out like an angel, of course, and he fixed the coding mistakes so that my homepage was back to normal again. I was so upset this time, though, because I was able to get into my Yahoo! account, so I figured that the person who tried to make my life miserable this time was someone who knows my information. The plot thickens, right? Anyway, my judgement was completely off track because nothing even happened to my site! I tried my URL tonight, and everything's back to normal. I guess GeoCities was just malfunctioning last night or something. I called Doug after work last night. He's so cool to talk to.:) I picked up a 150-minute phone card, and we used every last second of it-haha! I use phone cards to call Doug because my dad has this thing with making a lot of long-distance phone calls. I figure that with a phone card it's not a big deal anymore. I mean, even if I would just call Doug long-distance, I'd rather use phone cards because the minutes on a phone card are prepaid, so nothing adds to the phone bill, you know? Anyway, I'm sure everyone knows how phone cards work, so I'll quit babbling. I'm so happy about my site! Today was a good day! Kutztown, my site's okay, my brother's staying at my mom's place tonight, and I'm sleeping until at least noon tomorrow-haha! The only thing I'd change about today would be closing at work tonight. Closing sucks-haha! I guess I should at least try to get some sleep before the sun comes up. Keep in touch with me and let me know what you think I can do to make my site better! Sweet dreams!
April 8, 2002:
Well, it's not quite 1am, and I just now hung up the phone with Doug. He called me around 11:30pm, and he's in a contagiously good mood tonight. He said that he had fun this weekend and hoped that I did, too. Plus, he told me that the one thing that made his day even better than already good was that I picked up the phone!:) How SWEET is he? Doug's such a cool guy! I can't wait to visit him in Virginia this summer! No definite plans to do anything except nothing. I hope I'm going to be in town for his banquet. I'm really excited that he asked me to go with him. We're going to rent scary movies and go to Busch Gardens and his banquet and hang out at Sneeky Pete's, and I'm going to stay with my cousin, Brandy, and her guy, Chad, at their new place, and I'm going to have so much fun in Virginia that I'll never want to leave! There's no way I'm going to be able to sleep tonight. You know something? Before we got off the phone, Doug said, "Good night, Kirby." I love that he called me by my name! He always does, and I think that it's one of the best things in the world to hear him say "good night" right before I fall asleep.:) Anyway, I should get in a serious power nap before school, so I'll keep you posted on the Doug situation and summer and graduation and Kutztown and everything else I forgot to mention. Sleep tight, Everyone!
April 15, 2002:
What a beautiful day! The weather is sunny and warm here in the Keystone State, and I don't work today! Even school was fun today! I didn't have gym, and Senor Hauck took my class outside! Anyway, I haven't written for a long time, so I thought that a Thinking Aloud entry would be long past due. Plus, I'm in an elusive good mood today.:) Everything's going well, I think. I talked to Doug on the phone last night. Our typical Sunday night "thing," I guess. I didn't have much to say, but I called him, anyway, because who am I to break tradition? Nothing ground breaking going down on the guy front, though. It looks like I'm going to be forced to miss Doug's Navy banquet, too, and I'm pretty upset about not being able to escort him after he done went and asked me, you know? Between Connections in June and working for at least half of this summer, I probably won't find myself southbound until later July. The good thing is that I'll be able to take my own car with me, and with her in Virginia I'll have much more independence and mobility than without her. Besides, everyone I want to play with down south has a day job. What am I supposed to do all day by my lonesome? My short story for creative writing was a big hit! I think everyone honestly enjoyed hearing it, and I'm seriously thinking about trying for publication! I'm really excited about sending it out, and Doug is really encouraging me to go for it. He tells me that I should be proud of myself and my fairy tale. I can't wait to get some feedback from publishers! How exciting! I'll be posting the link to "A Mermaid Tail" as soon as I can make time to sit down and breathe. I would appreciate anything you guys have to say about my short story, so please don't be shy! Sign my guestbook, e-mail me, let me know what you think about my writing! Even if you hate my work, I love hearing from you! Well, I'm a busy girl with places to go, people to see, and things to do, so if you'll just excuse me, I'll keep in touch and keep you posted!
April 20, 2002:
Good morning! I finally went to the Bowmanstown Diner for breakfast after closing! MMM...pancakes-haha! Pancakes and good times. I hope for many more to come. Anyway, you know I can't skip mentioning the "man situation" at hand. Of course, no dude right now, and Dan won't be escorting me to the Farewell. I mean, it's not a big deal because I don't want him to feel like he's obligated to take me, and if his girlfriend isn't comfortable with him being my "date," I don't want to press her buttons. You know a Libra avoids confrontation at all costs. I'm just going to have to find another suitable male to escort me. Of course, I'd rather go alone than not go at all, but I'd rather go with a date than go alone. It's all my fault that I'm feeling blue because I slipped into last year's two-piece-but-doesn't-look-two-piece-mint-green-strapless-dress-with-glitter-in-the-skirt and discovered that it still fits me and looks damn good, too. All dolled up with somewhere to go but no one to take me there, you know? How depressing. It's like being on the deserted island with no one to take to answer the question of who'd I'd take with me. Speaking of my "man situation," I'd like to mention that sometimes one thing reminds me of another thing which brings up something else. For example, I'm plagued by the fact that Johnathan and I haven't spoken for a long time again. Not that my "man situation" has anything to do with our lack of communication lately. Anyway, writing letters to and e-mailing each other have become obsolete. I was honestly hoping that we wouldn't drift apart like we have, but I guess the whole living-in-Pennsylvania-while-the-Navy-owns-him-and-he's-living-in-Georgia-and-who-knows-where-after-there thing jumbled the communication we used to have with each other. I miss him. Sadly, the last time I remember hearing his voice is Easter, and I didn't recognize his voice on my answering machine! Nothing exciting has been happening with Doug lately either. I decided to not call him on Sunday because I just want to make sure he even wants to talk to me anymore. I mean, my most recent conversations with him have been pretty boring and kinda depressing. Even so, if he does call me, I'll be one happy chica; if he doesn't, however, I'll probably be disappointed but get over the feeling of hopeless emptiness in due time. Of course, I'm being extremely dramatic because I'm not even dating Doug. I just enjoy talking to him. I enjoy his sense of humor and his willingness to admit that he's a huge geek like I am-haha! I enjoy talking to him on Sunday nights because winding down the weekend on the phone with him until whenever-on-Monday-morning is the perfect way for me to prepare myself to face yet another dragging week of my Senior year. I simply enjoy our friendship. I hate that I'm going to miss his banquet, but I'll be leaving Burger King in Juky and "flying south" for the remainder of the summer to spend some time with him. Right now I'm hoping that my scheduled dates for Kutztown's Connections program won't interfere with my graduation. I believe I'm graduating on June 13, and Connections June 12 and 13 would definitely piss on the graduation ceremony. I mean, Connections is mandatory, but my graduation is important, too. I don't know what to do. It's a rock and a hard place, you know? Anyway, I'm beginning to babble incessantly from sleep deprivation, so I best hit the hay. I'll keep you posted on everything! Sleep tight!
April 21, 2002:
What an exciting weekend! I dragged my lazy ass out of the house and saw "Murder By Numbers" with Courtney in a real live movie theater! Good flick. I also rekindled my fascination with Ryan Gosling of "Young Hercules"-haha! Anyway, work wasn't a horrible nightmare. I closed on Friday and finally went to breakfast at the Bowmanstown Diner with Joe. I was looking forward to breakfast for at least a month before Saturday morning. MMM...pancakes. Saturday also brought with it a flat tire, enter THE DAY'S CRISIS. What a hassle! I trucked her to the nearest service station and got her patched up for just over $5, though. "Murder By Numbers" was a blast! I found out that Courtney and I have a lot in common, including a love of Angelina Jolie flicks. We share a sense of humor and the belief that-next to popcorn, of course-SnoCaps are the all-time best movie snack ever created. Plus, I like sharing an intelligent conversation with her when we're not acting like total idiots. We laughed at ourselves, and she laughed at me, talked through almost the entire movie, and simply enjoyed being able to hang out until midnight on a Saturday night. I haven't had that much fun for a long time! We're planning to see "Life Or Something Like It" starring Angelina next weekend. She is awesome! Courtney should spend the night at my house sometime. I'd rent enough Angelina flicks to watch until we just can't keep our eyes open! "Hackers," "Girl, Interrupted," "Original Sin," "Gone In 60 Seconds," "The Bone Collector." It'd be good times. I sent Doug a longer-than-necessary e-mail telling him about my exciting weekend. The flat tire, the movie, work, sleep. You know, the usual boredom. I think he'll like getting an e-mail that begins with "Good morning." Speaking of Doug and morning, though, I should probably get some shut eye. Maybe my dreams will reveal a Farewell date. Yeah, no dude yet, but I'm not looking for anything serious, anyway. All I need is a Farewell date right now, and I'm on the prowl.;) Like I'm a freakin' tigress or something cool like that-haha! Almost. Keep dreaming, right? I'll write to you guys again soon and keep you posted. Get to sleep! It's 12 o' clock. Do you know where your children are?
April 22, 2002:
Well, with the day's crisis averted for yet one more Monday, I can relax for the rest of the day and sleep easy tonight. Connections June 12 and 13 had to be rescheduled for June 26 and 27 because Kutztown's Connections schedule interfered with Northern Lehigh's graduation ceremony. At least everything's neatly tucked away now. I can calm down. Anyway, I don't work tonight. A nice break from reality. Tony, my "story buddy" from school, starts at BK on Saturday, though, so at least I have one thing to look forward to that can get me through this long week. Plus, a plan's in the works to see "Life Or Something Like It" this weekend! Very exciting theatrical event! I can't wait! Well, something smells like food here, so I guess it's feeding time at the zoo. Talk to you guys later!
April 23, 2002:
I don't have a lot to say, but I need to write. I don't know how to say what I want to say, but it'll find a way to come about eventually. Maybe not. As long as I'm writing it really doesn't matter. I haven't written a poem for a long time. Too long. And the writers' block makes me insane. I've been thinking about a lot of things lately. I mean, at the front of my mind are graduation and what I'm going to do with myself this summer. Even further front is the Farewell. Further still are tomorrow's classes and worrying about what the day's crisis will be and when it will rear its ugly head. But at the back of my mind lies the unknown, sometimes even I don't know what's going on back there. I'm supposed to be paying attention to my dreams, and my horoscope says that the Moon has entered Virgo, whatever that means. Dreams fascinate me, too, and I think that I could learn a lot about myself knowing that the dreams I'm having are going to be particularly important and revealing right now. But what am I paying attention to? Anyway, I'm rambling on, and I'm beginning to think that I sound like a lunatic. This weekend's Angelina movie fiesta won't be happening, unfortunately. I'm busy with work, and one of the other girls is busy with her boyfriend, so the girls' night out has been temporarily postponed until possibly next weekend. I don't know if I can wait that long to have fun again! I unexpectedly stayed after school yesterday to work on an on-going project, and I left Sam waiting around for me until she called home for a ride. I felt awful when I gave Courtney a ride home. She was leaving at the same time I was and asked for a ride. I even saw Sam waiting for her ride and asked if she was coming home with me. She said that she had called home, but I felt terrible giving Courtney a ride home and leaving Sam waiting at school. I'm sure she's forgiven me by now, and I didn't plan to leave her behind, and she had a ride home, but none of those things make a difference because I still felt like a lousy friend at the time. Speaking of feeling lousy, I still don't have a Farewell date. It's not like I'm looking forward to going stag, but when it comes to crunch time I may be forced to show up alone because I refuse to not go to my Farewell. I absolutely refuse! It's a little ironic now, but as I said a few days ago, maybe my dreams will show me a Farewell date. Whatever. I was bummin' at work a few days ago, and even one of my managers, Chuck, said he'd take me to the stupid dance-haha! He's a real screwball sometimes, but at least he got me laughing, right? He told me this story about how he said that to some other girl employee and found out later that he almost got a phone call from her the night of the dance, but she found a date in time for the Prom or whatever. I had to smile because it's almost like history repeating itself. I hope I find a Farewell date just in time, too. I don't even know how to get to where it's being held this year. Willow Tree Grove. So where the Hell is that? I guess I'm going to have to find out, huh? Well, even I've had enough of my exhausted babbling. I guess I should hit the sack before 3am. Quite the night owl I am. *hoot, hoot* Try to enjoy what life throws at you. I hope the lemons aren't too sour.
April 25, 2002:
Okay, down to business. The day's crisis today was that there was a bigass spider in my car! BLAH! I hate, no, loathe spiders and any other creatures on this earth that have more than four legs. See, the day's crisis isn't necessarily always an overwhelming, mind-blowing, life-altering experience-haha! Anyway, since I'm trying to pay special attention to my dreams while the Moon is in Virgo, I decided to document them in order to remember as many as I can. I dreamt about Doug last night. Not an overwhelming, mind-blowing, life-altering experience, but my dreams are supposed to be significant right now. My dream about Doug wasn't amazing or anything, and I can't remember exactly what happened, but I remember that we were doing something ordinary like eating cereal or watching a movie. I don't know and can't remember. I'm thinking that my dream reveals the true quality and depth of our current relationship. I mean, I love reading his e-mails and writing my replies, and one of us will call the other sometimes, but sparks aren't flying like fireworks, you know? I love and greatly enjoy his company, but I haven't seen him in person since February. I can't wait until July when I'll see him face-to-face again, though! Besides, I'm anything but bored with listening to what he has to say and hearing about his day at work, you know? I may not feel sparks, but I'm perfectly comfortable. Cereal is comfortable. What do you think my dream means? I had a "good" day today. I didn't think too much at school, and work wasn't a nightmare. I think I finally decided to ask my "story buddy," Tony, to escort me to my Farewell. He's a sweet guy, and he's nice to me. He'll actually make an effort to say "hi" first when I walk through Mrs. Evans' door. I'd much rather spend the evening with Tony than by my lonesome. Besides, even though I believe that being a single girl is healthiest for me right now, I wouldn't mind being able to truthfully say that I have a date. Tony's cool, and neither of us dances well, so maybe he'll make me look good.;) Anyway, I guess I underestimate the accuracy of my horoscope because I just realized that my dreams are pretty revealing and important. Something to think about when you wake up tomorrow morning, huh?
April 26, 2002:
Well, good afternoon! Thank you for joining me! Unfortunately, no dreams last night, but tonight's another night. I'm going to see my mom after work tomorrow, too! I close tonight with two guys who I'm not extremely fond of, but I closed with Bill Eck before, and we're training Nick, and we got through training Joe last Friday, so I'm not worried about working with him. I'm debating with myself about asking Tony to take me to my Farewell. I know I sounded sure of myself yesterday, but I tried finding a moment to talk to him today, and I couldn't! I mean, even if I found the right time, I'd be nervous about asking him to take me. Courtney also pointed out to me that he's not a senior, and isn't the entire point of the Senior Farewell to celebrate being seniors? Basically, I guess. To be completely honest, I don't know how Jessica would feel either. Tony's taking her to the Prom, so I don't know if she'd be mad. I don't know if there's anything going on between them, too, so I don't want to look like an idiot by asking him when they're "involved." I mean, I'm not looking to date him, though, you know? I just really don't want to go to my Farewell alone. Tony's a friend, and I'd rather at least have a friend take me. Besides, I know I'd have fun with him to hang out with. Well, tomorrow is Tony's first day at BK, and he works with me, so maybe it'll be easier to ask him at work. I seem to be more comfortable with my BK family.:) I decided to ask him at work tomorrow. My mind's made up! Hopefully, I'll have the confidence tomorrow. I'm 18 years old! I shouldn't be nervous about hanging out with a friend! Anyway, work's a-callin', so I best be a-crawlin'! If you want my advice, make up your mind to do something and follow through. Following through is refreshing. I'll let you know how everything turns out, so tune in tomorrow for more of my babbling insecurity and philisophical insight.
April 28, 2002:
I had some crazy dreams this weekend! On Friday night I dreamt that Wendy, a girl I work with, shot me and another person! Crazy shit! She was pissed about something, and the other person was trying to calm her down, and she shot that person, and I freaked out and started flipping on her, and she shot me, too. Weird, I know, but so real that I had to make sure I wasn't bleeding when I woke up, you know? I can't remember who was the other person either. Last night I dreamt that I parked my car in this secret room in my grandparents' attic, and then I drove home from work, a BK without a drive-thru, and I forgot where I parked my car. Yes, I drove home from work. I looked everywhere, including in the attic, but I couldn't find my car. That dream was just stupid, though. I don't know where parking my car in the attic came from-haha! On the Farewell front, I asked Tony to take me, and he said, "Sure," so I have a "date!" Well, I have someone fun to hang out with and talk to at the dance, anyway. Yesterday was Tony's first day at BK, and I'm sure he's confused already. He watched employee etiquette DVDs for three hours! Poor guy! Tonight I helped Chris train Joe on drive-thru, and Joe seemed pretty upset about doing a dozen or more different things at one time, but I don't blame him. I mean, I hated drive-thru at first! I think everyone goes through that stage. I told the crew about my messed up Wendy dream, and they teased me all day yesterday-haha! I can't remember what I ate or what I thought about or anything before I went to bed that night, but what a night! Maybe closing triggered something, or maybe Wendy shooting me represented her telling Becky lies about me and Dan. I mean, she shot me in the back, after all. Makes you think, doesn't it? I can't figure out how parking in that secret attic room relates to anything, but that dream was just stupid. Well, I think it's time for us to go to bed. I hope you sleep well, and I'll write to you again soon. Keep one eye open for Thinking Aloud's May 2002 page coming soon!
