Maul was on garbage duty at the Blue Lemon to make up for the broken tables, and the Karaeoke tape of 'Barbie Girl�. He grumbled to himself unhappily, hefting the last bag of trash into the dumpster in the alleyway. He snatched a wayward banana peel from his horns and flung it into the shadows, snarling.

"Doesn�t it say somewhere 'Sith do not do Garbage Day?" he muttered to himself, then kicked the dumpster. He was about to turn and open the back door of the club when he heard a soft noise. He froze, searching the alley.

He drew his lightsaber in a heartbeat as a garbage can fell over further down the alley. He paused, watching warily as the lid rolled away. He heard the soft sound again, this time recognizing it as a cat�s meow. Curious, he tucked his weapon away and stepped closer.

There, tangled in some plastic six-pack rings, was a filthy little ball of gray and white. It mewed piteously, swishing its tail. Maul sighed and smiled. He crouched down to untangle the kitty, and was greeted by a vicious hiss, the swipe of claws, and the formerly-cute kitty trying to bite a chunk out of his glove. He growled, about to abandon the little monster to its fate, then paused, looking down at the terrified wad of matted fur.

Something melted.

Ignoring the cat�s protests, he held it still with the Force while untangling it, then set it gently onto the pavement. The cat flicked its paws curiously, glancing warily toward Maul, then took off into the shadows. Maul sighed, smiling.

He instantly frowned again as he heard applause from behind him.

"Bravo. So the soulless killer has a heart after all," Kiraan rumbled from the doorway. Maul scowled and walked past him, pretending to ignore the comment.

-----------------

Three days later he was on garbage duty again. This time, there was a broken window and lightsaber-char-removal to atone for.

"Wasn�t my damn fault damn alter universe damndable Jedi had to show up and damn near try to damn fraggin� kill me," he muttered under his breath, trying to squeeze a large black bag through the back door. He heard a familiar plaintive mew, and paused, looking down.

The cat was back, sitting next to the same garbage can and grooming itself. The kitty was a mass of gray filth and tangles, and the faux grooming only seemed to be making it worse. Maul sighed, leaning his knee against the garbage bag. The cat looked up as if it had just noticed him, then trotted off behind the cans again. Maul shook his head, returning to his task, but kept glancing back for the kitty.

Later, after cleanup was done, he smuggled a plastic dish of leftovers out of the fridge and set them by the back door. He guessed the rats would get to it before the cat, but at least he�d tried.

The next day, the dish was empty, with a dead rat and some shed white cat hair nearby. Maul smiled.

---

He kept feeding the cat for almost a week, then it disappeared. Disappointed, Maul kept looking every evening, but there was no sign of the stray.

At the Hotel, he started leaving out a small dish of milk in the alley, hoping the cat might find it. Ulic found it first.

"You are /NOT/ to leave my good glassware in the alley," Qel-droma snarled, holding Maul to the wall by the back of the neck. "Am I Understood?" he asked, emphasizing each word by banging Maul�s horns off the wall. He snarled, but tried to nod, scratching the plaster further.

"Good," Ulic said. "Now, you�re going to help me repack all my Madrid pieces into tissue and bubble wrap this weekend, and we�ll start on the Block Optic and Prescut on Monday," he added, releasing Maul. "And if you so much as chip a sherbert cup, I�ll saw off your horns and have your tattoos laser-removed." Maul gulped, nodding.

"Good boy," Ulic said, smacking him across the back of the head before leaving.

"I oughta pitch your damn Block Optic in the bin with the rest of the garbage," Maul muttered beneath his breath once certain Ulic was out of range.

He heard a soft mew and a scratching noise from behind him, and turned, startled. He saw the dirty little stray perched on the windowsill, looking in at him. Overjoyed that the kitty hadn�t been flattened by a car or eaten by giant rats, he opened the door and let it inside.

It promptly waltzed across the maintenance room, into the kitchen, and planted itself in front of the refrigerator as if it owned the building. It was already pseudo-grooming itself by the time Maul closed the door and entered the kitchen. Apparently it had once been a housecat, because it certainly knew how to train a human, Maul mused, rescuing a plastic bowl from the recycling bin and heading for the fridge.

He started opening containers as the kitty waited by his feet.

/Kun�s seaweed crap. Xan�s.... *snif, snif* Ugh. Xan�s expired whatever it is./ He dropped the furry container into the trash. /Hmm, what�s this? Ooh, Ulic�s steak Pate` from his TV cooking class. That�ll do!/ he thought, smirking evilly as he set the dish of ground meat-paste on the floor. The cat was already at work at the dish before Maul�s hand had cleared the rim.

An hour later, a very happy cat and a warm-fuzzy-feeling Maul were both still sitting in the kitchen. One busy grooming, and the other trying to decide what to do. He suddenly wrinkled his nose and looked down at the floor, where the cat looked up curiously.

"You need a bath," he said. The cat tensed and mrowled dangerously, as if it had understood the word 'bath�.

--------------------

"Hold still!!!!" Maul snarled, bleeding in twelve places and trying desperately to keep from losing a finger as he tried to scrub the filth off the stray. It hissed, snarled, spit, bit, and made noises Maul had never seen a living creature make in his entire life.

It was currently in a lull-stage, pretending to have calmed down enough for him to scrub its ears. Maul knew better. It would turn and rip another chunk out of his glove and the hand beneath if he let it. Holding the cat at arm�s length with the Force was working relatively well for now, he was certainly furious enough to summon up the Darker Energies to keep the snarling beast at bay.

Dumping the last of the contents of the bottle of flea-bath on the squirming feline, Maul ignored its whining protest as he reached a sponge-scrubber toward it.

"I am not losing any more blood to you, cat. Hold still, or I�ll tell Ulic you�re the one who ate his pate`," he growled, and the cat reluctantly seemed to calm.

"Now I understand the joke about cats and water," he muttered, scrubbing between the cat�s ears. "It�s not a joke."

-------------

Several days later, Ulic smelled something.

He followed the smell up the back steps, and down the hall. It stopped at the 'Sith Only� bathroom, and instantly aroused his suspicions.

Opening the door, he found absolutely nothing amiss, but the smell was there. Looking around, he finally had the thought to look in the toilet.

"Gods, whoever used the toilet last, remember to FLUSH!" he bellowed down the hallway, holding his nose and flushing the toilet.

In his room, Maul smiled, scritching his new friend under her chin. Next to him sat a book. "Potty-training your Kitty in ten easy steps."

In truth, the shabby gray ball had turned out to be a very lovely purebred angora Persian, snow-white with a faint stripe of gray on her nose. It had also turned out to be a She, with blue eyes and a properly finicky feminine temperament, though very agreeable once properly fed and groomed. For lack of anything better to call her, he�d taken to calling her 'Fluffy�. Now, he�d officially changed her name to Nebula.

-----------

Nearly a month passed, and Nebula remained undiscovered. The only thing people began to notice different was the fact that Maul actually seemed happy.

And then there was the occasional soft, white, downy cat-hair that found its way downstairs to mar Ulic�s perfectly clean oriental rugs and favorite velvet drapes.

Then tragedy struck.

"HEY MAULIE!!!!!!" Evyl bellowed at the top of his lungs, dropping his knapsack with a heavy thud to the foyer floor. "We�re back from the wilds of Yavin 4!!" he announced, looking only slightly worse for wear. Xanatos slogged in behind him, dripping with mud and looking like he�d been through a warzone. Kun arrived right behind him, looking as fresh as the day he�s left and twice as unpleasantly cheerful.

Spyke and the Accidental Massassi carried in the rest of the luggage, looking ready to start bashing heads. Drakkah shrugged off his knapsack and turned a gold eye to Kun, who just smiled.

"I�m starting to think it was better /not/ knowing where my people originally came from," he grumbled, scratching a bug-bite. Spyke grunted and tossed the pack off his shoulders with a heave. It hit the floor hard, bringing the instant wrath of Mr. Dartha.

"I just put eight coats of wax on that floor!" Ulic snapped from the base of the stairs, pointing angrily. The clone-pyre shrugged.

"You want it moved, you pick it up," he grumbled, rubbing his shoulder and heading past him up the stairs. Ulic stalked over with the intention to do just that. He grabbed the straps to haul it away, and nearly dislocated a shoulder. Blinking in surprise, he looked over at the red-skinned alien, who just shrugged.

"Don�t look at me, I�m nobility," the retro-mutated Massassi/Sith said, shrugging and walking away.

Then, he paused.

Then he sneezed.

Ulic looked up as Maul descended the steps, the usual stray white hairs stuck to his pantlegs. Then Drakkah sneezed again. Kun looked over, concerned.

"What, you�re not allergic to Zabraks, are you?" Xan taunted, picking a cake of mud out of his hair. Drakkah shook his head.

"No, as far as I know, I�m,...." he began, then sneezed again, "I�m only allergic to Fe...." he sneezed again. "Felines."

Every head in the room turned to stare at Maul.

"What?" he said defensively, taking a step back. Then, Evyl�s voice was heard from upstairs.

"OOH, it�s so ADOOOOORABLE!!!" he cooed.

"Oh shit," Maul grumbled, covering his eyes with his hand.

Evyl appeared at the top of the stairs, a lovely bundle of downy white in his arms. She was purring happily, completely oblivious to the angry stares around her. Evyl was muttering nonsense and happily scritching her ears as he carried her downstairs.

All eyes but Evyl�s turned to Maul, and the familiar white hairs clinging to his outfit.

"She�s gooooregeous!!" Obi cooed, happily cuddling the fluffy creature, then Drakkah sneezed again. And again. And again.

"Obi get that damn hairball out of here!" Kun snarled, waving him away. Evyl frowned, holding the cat closer for safety. Drakkah sneezed again, his gold eyes turning orange from his allergy.

"/You/ brought /that/....that.... drapery-ripping, flea-bearing, carpet-shredding, long-white fur-shedding," Ulic began.

"Don�t forget toilet befouling," Maul muttered, and Ulic blinked stupidly.

"You taught it to use the toilet?" he asked. Maul nodded. "You taught it to use /My/ toilet?" he asked again, incredulous. Maul nodded.

"Can we keep it?" Obi asked.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" came resoundingly from three different directions.

Startled by the loud noise and sudden surge of hostile energy, Nebula clawed her way out of Obi�s arms and bolted for the door. Spyke, as usual, had left it wide open, and she disappeared into the street as Maul watched in horror. Everyone stared at where the cat had departed for a moment, then Ulic snorted.

"Good riddance," he muttered, waving a hand at the door and closing it.

Maul immediately turned on him in a rage.

--------------------

Several hours later, after the two Sith had been pried apart and banished to separate ends of the hotel, Drakkah finally stopped sneezing. Kun had Xanatos open a portal back to his own world, where Drakkah wouldn�t have to be exposed to the kitty-allergen.

Maul pouted, staring listlessly out the window. Evyl paused outside his door, watching him pull a shed fluff of white fur off his clothes and blow it off his hand. He sighed, leaning on the doorframe.

"She was a pretty cat," Evyl said. Maul nodded, sighing. "Hey, don�t worry," Evyl suddenly said, acting cheerful again. "Christmas is coming. Maybe Santa-wan will bring you a new pet?" he said. He literally had to duck at the vicious glare Maul cast him as he also cast his Harry Potter paperweight at him.

"That�ll depreciate the collector�s value!" Evyl said as a last comment before bolting as Maul stood angrily. He took off down the hall, slamming his door behind him. Maul sighed, sitting back down. He planted his chin on his fist and stared out the window longingly, hoping Nebula was all right.

---------Meanwhile.....

"Awwww, aren�t you adooooorable!!!!!" The Famous Miss Amber Rose cooed, carefully crouching on her three-inch pepto-pink platforms to pick up the mewing bundle of terrified white fluff sitting outside the stage door. The Drag Queen carried the fluffy creature inside, scritching her ears and talking nonsense coos.

She carried Nebula right past some confused-looking bouncers, a startled stagehand, and into the dressing room, where several performers immediately started cooing and fussing over the fluffy white kitty.

"Awww, who�s this??"
"She�s so sweeeet!"
"Look at her, she�s fuzzier than my boas!"
"Can we keep her?"
"I bet she�d make a lovely GlitterGirl Mascot!"

"Ladies, fetch me some Tuna, because little miss Princess Snow White is here to stay with the Queens, where she belongs!" Rose said, to the unanimous approval of the GlitterGirls.

...And so the 'Girls� of the Blacklight Ballroom gained a new mascot.

--------End------------

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