"Boingy, boingy, boingy!"

Darth Maul looked up with a glare as Evyl Obi bounced through the common room on his Tigger-striped pogo-stick, makeshift cape bouncing behind him. He continued his giggling chant of "Boingy, boingy" out the other door, past a very confused and tired-looking Xanatos.

"All right, who�s been letting him watch �Animaniacs� again?" Xan sighed. Maul smirked, then returned to taking notes from the t.v.

"Gah, not �Trading Spaces�! Don�t tell me Ulic has corrupted you to home interiors too?" Xan said, dramatically draping the back of a hand over his eyes in mock-horror. The sound of a power saw somewhere upstairs drew his gaze to the ceiling. The whining was followed by a thump, which was followed by swearing, which was followed by the lights flickering and the sound of someone cussing out the inventor of the stud-finder.

"Ulic still at it?" Xan asked. Maul nodded. "AND Kun?" Maul nodded again. Xanatos shook his head in awe. "I�m beginning to believe I�m the only sane one left in this building."

Just then Evyl Obi bounced through the room again, as if to prove his point.

"Boingy, boingy, boingy, hi daddy, boingy, hi Maulie, boingy, boingy, boingy," he said as he pogoed past them and out the other door. Xanatos stared after him for a moment in silence.

"Forget this, I�m sleeping at the bar tonight," Xan announced, storming off toward the stairs. Maul just shrugged, scribbling down notes. A slightly scorched and very sweaty sawdust-covered Ulic Qel-Droma appeared in the doorway from the side hall.

"How did that damn clumsy idiot man ever get to be a Jedi, let alone a Sith Lord?" he grumbled, wiping dirt off his hands into a rag. "He can build a double-ended Lightsaber in a week, but he can�t even use a damn stud-finder right," Ulic growled. Maul casually held up a beer over his shoulder. Ulic sighed.

"Damn Kun needs to get his head on straight and stop hanging out with those damn drag queens," Ulic grumbled, snatching the bottle out of Maul�s hand. Maul shrugged, scribbling notes again. Ulic glanced down at the portable fridge next to the couch.

"Where the hell are my matching end-tables?" he demanded. Maul glanced up guiltily before folding his notebook closed and answering.

"I got tired of having to run all the way to the kitchen for a drink during commercials," he said. "Besides, they were far too 1950�s for the decor." He knew he�d hit the perfect excuse as Ulic suddenly looked around the room, nervously checking the �theme� of the room. Maul could practically see the fabric swatches and furniture catalogs flipping pages in Ulic�s mind.

/Sith hell, the boy�s practically Christopher Lowell with a lightsaber/, Maul snickered mentally. Qel-Droma left the room without so much as another glance at Maul, who just shrugged, turning up the TV. volume another notch.

"Next up on Junkyard Wars, two teams compete to build a rocket launcher out of household garbage and spare parts."

Maul grinned, opening his notebook and clicking more lead out of the pencil. Life was good.

Suddenly, everything went black.

"Dammit Kun, I�m going to kill you myself, you clumsy, Jawa-brained, Ewok-loving....."

The darkness was filled with ranting, cursing and arguing in several Sith dialects and more languages than Maul could count.

He casually stood, folded up his notebook, and ignited half his Lightsaber on low power to use as a flashlight. After all this time of living with 3 Sith, one clone, and one... whatever the hell Xanatos was calling himself this week, he was more than used to this kind of thing.

What he wasn�t used to was finding Evyl Obi sitting in the middle of the hall, his colander helmet askew, sniffling and wiping his eyes with the towel/cape tied around his neck. He looked up, whimpering, looking every bit the innocent he wasn�t.

"Everything went dark and I fell down," he sniffled.

Maul sighed, Evyl may be an adult in form, but he still hovered around a nine-year-old�s level at times. He glared down for a moment, then sighed again.

"Come on," he growled, helping the semi-psychotic clone to his feet. "We�re getting out of here."

The clone cheered and giggled, repeating "We�re going on an adventure," about ten times before Maul finally backhanded him into whimpering silence again.

"Big meanie," he pouted one last time as they reached the foyer.

------------

Aliya was busy scrubbing Klingon blood stains off the bar before locking up for the night when the first visitor arrived. Xanatos looked exhausted, annoyed, and generally bothered about something. He cast a short glance at Obi-wan, who stopped sweeping to stare slack-jawed at the new arrival.

Unceremoniously plopping an overnight bag next to a barstool and flopping himself onto the seat, he gave Aliya his best, if brittle and tired-looking smile.

"You. Out. Now." a voice snapped from somewhere near the office steps. Xani barely glanced up at Qui-gon, then sighed and looked back to Aliya.

""You wouldn�t cast out a man adrift, would you, Love?" he asked in his best charming, innocent tone.

"If she doesn�t, I will," Qui-gon growled, storming over. "And by the seat of the pants, if needs be."

"Charming as ever," Xani muttered.

"After what you pulled last time...." Qui-gon began.

Xani held up a hand. "Chastise me later, preferably after I�ve had more than two hours sleep." He turned back to Aliya. "You would not believe the day I�ve had. First, Ulic evicted me from my own room *At Sunrise* to begin remodeling it. Then, he and Kun started rewiring the lights in the hall instead. He wants *Sconces*, not overhead light. Apparently it conflicts with his color scheme or some crap. Don�t ask, I don�t know, and don�t really care anymore." he rambled.

"Oh, and then there�s the missing cocoa puffs. Our dear Evyl Obi downed a whole box of Cocoa Puffs this morning, and he�s been wound up tighter than a Swiss watch all day. Then he finished off my last bottle of Rolling Rock. I mean, the cocoa puffs were bad enough, but beer and cocoa puffs for breakfast? The boy�s insane, especially pouring the beer *into* the cereal. As if he doesn�t get high enough just on the sugar." By now everyone was completely confused, so he continued, ignoring them.

"Let�s not forget this evening. This entire evening has been a living hell. Evyl�s been bouncing around the downstairs on that damn pogo stick, a towel around his neck and a colander on his head. He keeps gibbering something about a �Darth Scraliontis� and saying �Beware of the Parrot� every ten minutes. At least he finally stopped announcing himself as �The Great Cornholio� around noon and as �The Master of the profession of Silly Walks� a few hours ago. Oh, before that though, he found Maul�s Oprah books and started a bonfire to roast marshmallows, right in the middle of Ulic�s precious Mongolian rug, I might add. He doesn�t know yet. He�s going to kill the little psycho when he finds out."

"Not if you don�t go squealing to mister Sithy-boy," Evyl said from next to the door, poking his tongue out at Xan in a rude gesture. Maul stepped in behind him, sighing.

"Kun cut some wires and blew every fuse in the hotel," he said, hefting Evyl�s backpack onto one shoulder and dragging his own mission duffel behind him.

"Mind if we crash here for the night?" Evyl asked in his most sing-song and faux sweet tone, batting his eyes at Aliya. "Pweeeease?" he turned the eye-batting and saccharine-sweetness up a few notches.

Obi-wan made a sour glance at Qui-gon that practically said �Kill me if I ever act like that.�

Aliya sighed, "Let me check with Kiraan..."

"Woohoo!" Evyl cheered.

-----------

"No, No, no, and fifty times NO." A severely annoyed Kiraan snapped. "I will not have that.... those....." he paused. "Xanatos, perhaps, but that lunatic clone? No, and most assuredly NOT the..." he paused with a hiss of agitation, "Sith."

"Kiraan, please, it�s one night..." Aliya began.

"Let them get a Motel," he snapped, stalking off to finish counting boxes.

"Oh yeah, that�s nice, I can see the tabloids now... "Sith Academy Lovebirds seen for real, Maul and Obi check into Motel together" Gee, that�ll look nice, we can ask them to put it right next to the ad for the Blue Lemon, the only bar on the planet where Klingon and Vorlons exist in the same space with Jedi and the crew of the Galactica waiting tables," Aliya said with only partial sarcasm.

Kiraan growled, then rumbled in indecision, then sighed. "One night. And they keep at least fifty feet from my rooms at all times."

"The bathroom is on your end of the hall..." she said.

Kiraan worked his jaw thoughtfully. "They can pee out the window."

"Kiraan...."

"All right, but the first one to annoy me meets the painful end of my Lightsaber," he snapped, then stalked off, pretending to ignore her triumphant smirk.

------------

"Boingy, boingy, boingy...."

"Obi! Stop jumping on the bed!"

Xanatos glared at his two roommates. "You�re just lucky Zek went back to school this semester," he grumbled.

Maul lifted an eyebrow at him. "Lucky for you as well. Where did you intend to sleep had he not been absent?" he said, laying a blanket out on the floor.

Xanatos glared for a moment before ignoring the question. "Hey, Obi, why don�t you go visit your twin for a while?" he changed the subject.

"�Kay," Evyl said, bounding off the bed and heading for the door. He stopped at the doorway, a frown on his face. "Are you trying to get rid of me?" he asked suspiciously.

"Yes, now go." Xan said.

"Okay," Evyl said cheerfully, closing the door behind him.

"Now, what did you..." Maul began, when the door opened, interrupting him.

"You�re not talking about me, are you?" Evyl asked.

"No, it�s not about you. Just go annoy Qui-gon and Kiraan for a while," Maul said.

Evyl closed the door again.

"I had no intention of..." Xan began. The door opened again.

"You SURE it�s not about me?" Evyl asked, peeping around the edge of the door.

"YES, now get the hell out of here before I tell Qel-Droma why he can�t find his Indian rug." Maul snapped. Evyl slammed the door behind him this time.

"I thought it was Mongolian?" Xanatos said.

"No, Moroccan," Maul said, then paused. "I think." He shook his head. "Anyway, you didn�t answer my question."

"And I�m not going to. Where I sleep, or with whom, is no business of yours or anyone else�s�." Xan said, then pulled his blanket up over his head and rolled over away from Maul.

"With...whom?" Maul practically purred, a mischievous smirk on his face. "I take it then that you�ve not been the repressed little fallen Jedi everyone has believed you to be?"

Xan sat up again. "That is none of your business," he snapped. Maul smirked evilly.

"I�m not playing this tonight. Goodnight, Maul," Xan said, flopping the blanket back over his head.

-----

Aliya had the key in the lock and was about to turn it when she heard a knock. With a sigh and a guess as to who was there, she opened the door.

"Hi Exar," she sighed, holding the door open. "Let me guess, you want to spend the night in our spare room," she said.

A sawdust-flecked Kun half-smirked sheepishly. "I suppose someone told you what�s happened?"

Aliya smirked, "You mean about your little problem with power-tools?"

Kun�s smile turned brittle, then dropped completely. "All right, I admit it, I made a mistake. I can�t tell which light is which on the wall-scanner-thingy-stud-whatever. Now please let me in before I gag on my own humility and become nauseous."

Aliya stepped aside, gesturing him in. "Sure, why not, the rest of the semi-canon bad guys of the universe are here, why not you too?"

Kun frowned, then sighed and hefted a tied-sheet bundle over his shoulder.

"Not a word...." he growled at her curious glance at the makeshift overnight bag. "My suitcases were lost somewhere in Tahiti due to a computer error."

"Computer error?" Aliya asked.

"Xanatos had my bags rerouted after that nonsense in New Orleans. Don�t ask, it�s not worth telling. Besides, I�m sure Lestat is having much more fun with my PunkWear than I was."

Aliya just shook her head.

"Up the stairs, third door on the left. Technically it�s Qui-gon�s, on the rare occasion he�s stupid enough to stay over. I guess we can squeeze you and your ego in there. Don�t touch the bathrooms in the rooms, they�re shut off. The working Bathroom is at the end of the hall. Don�t touch the fourth door, it�s Kiraan�s. Don�t even *breathe* on the fourth door. Kiraan�s cranky as it is lately, so please don�t set him off." She said as he walked toward the stairs.

Kun paused, "You�re putting me next to Kiraan? Have you suddenly gotten the idea that I�m feeling suicidal?"

"No, but the only rooms left are the two on the right side of the hall," she said, jiggling the doorknob out of habit to make sure it was locked.

"And why..." he began.

"One is mine, the other is storage," she stated simply, walking past him toward the stairs.

"I�d rather sleep in a storeroom than next to His Grace," Kun muttered, following her up the steps.

Aliya sighed, looking back at him.

"Trust me, you wouldn�t," she said, then kept walking.

------

"I�m not sharing a room with him!" Qui-gon snapped, pointing at Exar over Aliya�s shoulder.

"Then go home. I�m sure *Someone* back at the temple has noticed you�re not on Theras Minor like you�re supposed to be," Aliya said, arms crossed.

Qui-gon frowned. "Kiraan and I were busy..."

"Yeah, yeah, you two are a regular Walker and Travette. You�re always busy plotting to save the galaxy. Just let Exar borrow some floor space, or I�ll suggest to George Lucas he should include a �skewer the Qui-gon� game segment on the TPM special edition DVD," Aliya said, then yawned.

"Why can�t I share with Obi-wan?" Qui-gon asked.

"He can�t stay in my room," a voice snapped from behind them. Aliya turned a narrowed glare at Obi-wan, who was in the doorway of the �storage room� she�d mentioned.

"Storage room my ass! Why does HE get his own room?" Kun demanded. "You said I..."

Aliya sighed. "I know, I know, down boy. If I�d told you it was Obi-wan�s room for the night..."

"I�d have evicted his half-trained light-side ass in a heartbeat!" Kun finished. "And still might!"

"Now hold on..." Obi-wan began defensively.
"Don�t you dare threaten my Padawan," Qui-gon growled.
"If you two would just..." Aliya began.
"As if he�d stand a chance if I chose to truly become a threat," Kun snapped.
"I should..."
"Go ahead and try..."
"Sithspawn bastard..."
"Jedi filth...."
"Master, just calm..."
"I will not calm down!"
"Silence, brat, let him try..."
"Don�t call my apprentice a brat!"
"So sorry, *Jedi* Brat!"
"Boys....." Aliya tried to interrupt.
"You...."
"Don�t even try.."
"Master, listen for a..."
"Obi-wan, get out of the way,"
"I�ll ram that lightsaber down your throat..."
"Come and try, you filthy..."

"ENOUGH!" a voice bellowed from the end of the hall. The hall fell silent. Kiraan quickly stowed the snarl, but the glow in his eyes showed he still meant business.

"You, in with the others. I don�t care if Maul snores or the Clone giggles in his sleep, you will share a room with them, or you will sleep on the roof!" Kiraan snapped, then tightened the belt on his houserobe. "You," he glared at Obi-wan, "I told to go home over an hour ago."

"But..." Obi-wan protested.

"I don�t care. Do you seriously think I can�t protect Qui-gon if it came to that?" he snapped.

Obi-wan lowered his gaze.

"I think perhaps both of you should go home," Kiraan said with a glance at Qui-gon. Obi-wan opened his mouth to protest, then snapped it shut with a frown.

"Kun can have my room, I�ll sleep on the floor in Qui-gon�s room," Obi-wan said quietly, sighing with reluctance. Qui-gon glared, Aliya shrugged, and Kiraan sighed.

"Fine," Kiraan said, turning back into his room and slamming the door behind him.

"Fine," Qui-gon growled, casting a long, scathing glare at Kun before closing his door.

"Fine!" Aliya cried, throwing her hands up in exasperation before storming off down the hall.

Kun lifted an eyebrow, then glanced over at Obi-wan as he reappeared in the doorway.

"Why do I have the feeling that I�ve missed something here?" he asked. Obi-wan shrugged, then sighed, staring with reluctance at Qui-gon�s door.

"Oh, nevermind, I give up. Take the bed, I�ll take the floor," Obi-wan said, gesturing toward his door. "I�m not sharing space with Qui-gon again," he added in a half-muttered grumble.

Kun�s eyebrow went up again.

"He snores. Loudly. With snorting. And giggling," Obi-wan said, then gestured at the open door. "You don�t mind sharing with a Jedi, do you?" he asked. Exar just chuckled, walking past him.

"Wouldn�t be the first time," he said with a shrug.

----------------

Aliya was about to shut off the neon sign outside when a loud, force-amplified banging reached her ears. She snarled and stormed over to the front door.

"No room at the Inn, Ulic. Go rent a hotel room," she shouted through the door. A string of obscenities and orders for her to open the door followed her statement.

"No, we�re full up. Don�t you have something to go saw off or blow up?" she said. With one last kick to the recently-installed Force-proof Mandalorian-iron door, Ulic Qel-Droma stormed off, fuming.

After she was certain he�d gone, she switched off the sign and sighed.

If only the kids back home could see her now... telling off Sith and keeping Jedi Masters out of the Tequila.

They�d think she was insane.

They�d be right.

-----------------

"Ulic threatened to incinerate my Pink Floyd collection if I didn�t vacate the premises immediately and not return until morning," Exar said, folding down the sheets. Obi-wan smirked from his sleeping bag.

"I told Qui-gon after the third night on Theras Minor that I was sleeping outside the cave from then on, no matter what kind of creature might decide to attempt eating me during the night," he said.

Exar chuckled. "And all this time I�ve been calling you a spineless Jedi Twit," he mused aloud.

"Well, I suppose we�re even then. I�ve thought of you as nothing more than an arrogant ass who was too weak to finish his Jedi training," Obi-wan said.

"Touch�," Exar scowled, all trace of humor gone. Obi-wan shrugged, then rolled over.

"Goodnight, Sith," he said, snuggling into his sleeping bag.

"Goodnight," Exar sighed, then slid into bed.

A definitely non-human roar was followed by the sound of running feet, which all preceded the bedroom door slamming open and then closed again, with Evyl Obi on the opposite side of the door, panting. Both Jedi and Sith sat bolt upright, instinctively reaching for their weapons. Evyl�s eyes suddenly went wide, then he pressed himself against the door.

"Um, hehe, um, can I sleep with you guys tonight? I think Kiraan�s a little ticked right now," he said, still out of breath. A single loud bang shook the door, and Evyl whimpered. A low growl came from outside the door, then the soft sound of retreating footfalls and grumbling.

"Someday I hope he claws your face off," Obi-wan muttered, laying back down and flopping his pillow over his head with a sigh.

Exar smirked. "And what exactly did you do to make him that angry?" he asked, smiling.

Evyl giggled. "I called him �Kitty-boy�, then yanked Qui�s ponytail and ran," Evyl said, giggling like a hyper three-year-old. Exar sighed, rolled his eyes skyward, then tossed a pillow at him. Evyl cheered, flopping onto the end of the bed.

"Can I sleep with youuu?" he asked, batting his eyes at Kun. Exar promptly whaped him over the heads with his own pillow.

"No, and if you ever address me like that again, I�ll have you skinned and gutted," he said, then added a threatening glare. "Alive." he added, and Evyl slunk back off the bed with a frown.

"Spoil-sport," he muttered under his breath, snatching up his pillow from the floor. He flopped down next to Obi-wan, then glared back at Kun before whapping his double over the head.

Obi-wan rolled over and glared. Evyl feigned innocence, fluffing his pillow and propping it behind his head with a shrug. Obi-wan sighed.

"Thank the force this is only for one night," he muttered, then rolled over and pretended to be asleep. Evyl smirked, then frowned, then glared at his double, then shrugged and snuggled down back-to-back with Obi-wan. Obi grumbled something under his breath, then forced himself to fall asleep.

Exar glared at the clone for a moment longer before trying to relax again. He sighed, trying to ignore the beginnings of a headache as he started to drift off.

Evyl opened one eye, smirked, then closed his eyes again.

----------

"I�ll bet he snuck in with Qui-gon," Xanatos mused into the darkness. Maul �hmph�ed.

"More blanket for me," he rumbled sleepily. Another moment of silence passed.

"This is the closest you�ve been, isn�t it," Maul asked. Xanatos looked up toward the bed, frowning.

"Qui-gon," Maul clarified. Xanatos sighed heavily, wearily, rolling onto his back. Another moment passed.

"No. It�s just the most peaceful," he said quietly. "Usually we�re at each other�s throats," he added, then sighed again. "Sometimes, I almost miss it," he said, barely a whisper.

"Being at each other�s throats?" Maul asked. Xanatos sighed.

"Being a Jedi," he said quietly, "And a son," he added, then paused, thinking. "Qui-gon was the closest thing I had to a father after they took me," he said. "Sometimes, I miss it."

Maul sat up. "He killed your father," he said, surprised.

Xan shrugged. "He killed my heart," he said, "He made me stop caring about right and wrong, that�s all. My father had been dead to me for a long time before that."

Maul lifted what passed for an eyebrow in curiosity and surprise.

Xanatos sat up. "He used me, he didn�t care. All he wanted me for was my powers, he could have cared less that I was his own blood." He lay back down, staring at the ceiling in silence.

"Just like them," Xan added quietly. "None of them cared, the only thing they cared about was my abilities, and how I could use it for their benefit."

"Other family?" Maul asked.

"And the Jedi," Xan said, then sighed. "Among others," he said, more to himself than Maul.

"Broken hearts," Maul mused. Xan half-smiled dryly to himself.

"You were the lucky one, you grew up never knowing love, or hope, or friendship. You�ve never really had the chance to get attached to someone, to trust someone," Xan said, then paused. "Or have them betray that trust," he added quietly.

Maul rolled onto his side, looking down at Xanatos over the edge of the bed.

"Don�t assume you know everything about me because you�ve read a few books," he growled, then sighed and settled onto his stomach.

Xanatos lifted an eyebrow. "Do I detect an Oprah moment coming on?" he asked sarcastically. Maul growled, glared, and rolled back onto his side out of Xan�s view.

"You have no idea what my life is," Maul said from somewhere in the dark. Xanatos could clearly hear the repressed sadness in his tone. A long silence passed.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Xanatos asked. He heard the shuffle of sheets as Maul climbed back to his former position at the top of the bed and tugged the blanket around himself.

"No." Maul said simply and finally.

After a few minutes of silence, Xanatos gave up hope that Maul was ready to crack and act human. He sighed and rolled over, drifting off almost immediately.

Maul lay awake for a long time after, staring at the ceiling and thinking. Finally, he closed his eyes and forced himself to sleep.

---------

Sometime close to morning, Exar awoke to find something unwelcome and Jedi-shaped snuggled against his side, hogging his blanket. A shirtless padawan in black sleep pants had not only his blanket, but half his pillow bundled around and under himself. For a moment, he couldn�t tell if it was Obi-wan or Evyl Obi, but the skull-shaped bead braided into the black-and-red-striped padawan braid gave him away.

Kun immediately felt a surge of revulsion, and the desire to shove the deranged clone off his bed. His reluctance to actually touch the clone caused him to simply scoot further over on the bed away from him, dragging the blanket after him.

With a hint of amusement he noticed Evyl�s rumored "Made in Cyberspace," tattoo, along with a copyright symbol, fanfic author�s name, and a website address etched on the small of his back, just above his waistband. For a moment, he ignored the fact that the malicious little clone repulsed him, and took the opportunity to study the blanket-hog next to him. He realized it was the first time he�d seen him when he wasn�t bouncing around on a pogo stick or swinging from the chandeliers on a sugar high.

Evyl was sound asleep, completely oblivious to the fact Exar had momentarily pondered how best to dispose of his body without Maul noticing his absence. The clone�s side rose and fell evenly in his sleep, his normally malicious-grin-distorted face squashed into his pillow, looking every bit the innocent he wasn�t.

Exar suddenly caught himself studying the clone�s sleeping form a little too intently, and realized he�d even started idly wondering if the real Obi-wan was built the same. He quickly stomped the idea into a million tiny bits and chased down the confetti with a flame-thrower. He�d apparently been around the �ladies� of the Blacklight club a bit too much lately, he chided himself.

Then again, he did hang around with them for his own reasons...

He shook his head, rolling onto his other side and tugging the blanket around himself, his back to the clone. Vaguely attractive or not, Evyl Obi was still Evyl Obi, the same psycho who�d painted the walls with ketchup and called a lethal rogue Jedi master with two-inch claws "Kitty-boy" to his face. He sighed, falling back asleep, ignoring the detestable creature curled up on the other side of the bed.

Thank the force they�d been intelligent enough to put a Full-size bed in the guest room.

---------

The sun had been up for only an hour when Maul heard the shuffle of feet and opened his eyes. Xanatos, looking like he�d spent a night in a cement mixer, was staggering toward the door. He muttered something about the bathroom, then headed for the door, futiley trying to rake his hair out of his face. Maul just shook his head, suddenly glad he didn�t have a mop like Xanatos� to fight with every morning.

------

Exar woke up slowly, vaguely sensing a presence missing from the room. He vaguely noticed someone snuggled up against him again, still too sleepy to notice much else. As the rest of his brain slowly joined the waking world, parts of his physical senses kept trying to tell him whose the arm draped over his side belonged to by process of elimination. He mentally swatted them back to sleep, quite comfortable where he was.

Then it dawned on him, he *shouldn�t* be comfortable with the warm weight snuggled against him. Worse than that, he shouldn�t be enjoying the feeling of someone�s forehead nestled against his shoulder. Especially *This* someone.

He groggily half-twisted finally, peering over his shoulder at who he�d feared he�d find there. Evyl Obi snored softly into the back of Exar�s shoulder, oblivious and utterly peaceful. A war suddenly broke out between two factions of his instincts. One commanded him to get as far away from the repulsive little psycho as possible, then execute him with a good dose of force-lightning.

The other part just shrugged and said why move if he was so comfortable, it�s not like they were doing anything wrong. The second part received backup in the form of the sudden question of why hadn�t he done anything yet. It wasn�t as if he hadn�t spent the night with someone of the same gender before.

/But that hadn�t been *HIM*!/ the first part screamed, pointing to memories of ketchup-paintings on the walls and coco puffs in his bed. /And just how did the coco puffs get there?/ the second part wondered, and the first shut up. Exar glanced back over his shoulder again.

Damn.

That wasn�t a nightmare he�d had, that really had been Evyl sneaking into bed next to him during the lightning storm, and apparently at least once a month since then, judging by the mysterious appearance of coco puffs and cap�n crunch in his bed on random mornings.

And he hadn�t noticed.

Worse than that, he�d actually gotten comfortable having someone else in the bed next to him. This was beyond bizarre, this was even beyond creepy. This was the kind of thing he�d usually fly into a fit of rage and barbecue a small star system over. But surprisingly he really didn�t feel that bad about it.

Finally deciding that he�d figure it all out later, and probably have Evyl skinned alive for it, he let himself relax and start to doze off again. Besides, why wake the little monster and let him wreak havoc when he looked so innocent and well-behaved in his sleep?

Evyl shifted in his sleep, nuzzling up against Exar�s shoulder. He suddenly felt very warm and comfortable, and completely forgot about skewering Evyl as he dropped off to sleep.

One teeny little fragment of his force-sense jumped up and down insisting that he�d just been mind-whammied into passivity, but even it slowly dropped off into the warm fuzzy feeling of being blissfully sleepy.

----------

A groggy and half-dressed Xanatos followed the smell of breakfast down to the bar�s modest kitchen. Obi-wan glanced back as he flipped a pancake, obviously awake since dawn and in almost full Jedi regalia.

A black-undershirt-and-sleep-pants clad Xanatos absently tried to shove his tangled hair out of his face again as he sat down on a stool across the island from Obi-wan.

"The clone spent the night in my room last night, by the way. Just in case you were wondering," Obi-wan said, checking on a skillet of sausages, then covering them with a pot lid.

Xan snorted. "Figured he�d go kissing up to Qui-gon," he muttered, shifting uncomfortably on his seat. Obi-wan lifted an eyebrow, looking back over his shoulder.

"I spent the night in the spare room with Exar Kun. Evyl was on the floor with me most of the night," Obi-wan said, surprising Xan. "Qui-gon spent the night alone, unless someone else came in during the night and I didn�t know about it."

Xanatos finally looked shocked awake.

"You spent the night.... in the same room with...." he began. Obi-wan nodded.

"Qui-gon snores like a choking Rancor. I�m not sharing quarters with him until he sees a healer about it." Obi-wan said, pouring out more small pools of batter for more pancakes. "Besides, Exar was very well behaved, he didn�t even try to kill me, or whatever-his-name-is."

Xan smirked. "He calls himself Evyl Obi Kenobi. Evil spelled with a Y instead of an I. Don�t ask, it�s some sort of clone thing, spelling their names wrong." he said, shrugging.

Obi shook his head, turning the pancakes.

"You�ve turned into quite the little housewife, haven�t you?" Xanatos taunted, watching him, secretly impressed. Obi scowled.

"I learned how to cook so that I wouldn�t starve living off space rations and synth food. Besides, Qui-gon couldn�t cook if he stabbed his food with his lightsaber." He paused at Xan�s smirk.

"I unfortunately can�t afford a few hundred servants at my beckon call waiting to wipe my ass for me. What were you worth last time the HoloNews did their �Galaxy�s wealthiest bachelors� list last year?" Obi-wan said with sarcastic mock-sweetness.

Xanatos faked a smile, badly, then dropped it. "Quite a joy this morning is becoming," he growled, raking a few stray tangles out of his face with his hand. The morning only got worse as Maul entered the room, smiling.

Any day where a Sith smiles is a bad day for everyone else.

"Well, good morning, and just what crawled out of your ass to make you so cheerful?" Xanatos asked.

Maul shot him a glare, then ignored him, gliding over to a stool next to him. Obi-wan raised an eyebrow curiously. Maul smirked.

"All right, who did you kill, maim or seduce to make it *that* kind of morning?" Xanatos demanded.

Maul grinned widely. "Evyl Obi and Exar make such a cute couple, don�t they?" he asked in a sweet tone, practically purring.

"Maul......" Xan asked in a warning tone.

"Did either of you know Zek has a camera collection?" Maul said in an innocent tone, smirking.

"You didn�t....." Obi-wan gasped.

Maul smiled, "He has a lovely digital camera, and Internet access."

"Gods, you..." Xan began.

"He�ll kill you. Exar will kill you," Obi-wan said.

"Oh, did I mention Zek left his Polaroid camera behind?" Maul purred, pulling a familiar white-edged rectangle from his robes.

Xanatos snatched it out of his hands, jaw gaping in shock.

"I take it back, he�s not going to kill you, he�s going to skin you alive and dissect you bit by bit, then sell you to the X-files," Obi-wan said, snatching the picture off Xan. Xanatos snatched it back, glaring at him. He turned toward Maul.

"Don�t tell him. Maul, if you value your very existence, hide this picture and never let him see it," Xanatos said.

Obi nodded. "Make me a copy first," he added, smirking.

Xan turned on him with a scowl. Obi-wan just shrugged and smiled.

"Well, a chance like this doesn�t come along every day. My clone in bed with the Dark Lord of the Sith," Obi-wan said, then paused, his face falling to blank shock as what he�d said registered.

"My clone, and Exar Kun..." he said quietly, looking stricken.

"Yes, your clone, and Exar Kun...." Xanatos mused, smiling maliciously. "You know, with a little color touch-up to the hair, this could make quite and interesting image to give the Council," he said, practically purring with taunting malice.

"Over my dead body," Obi-wan snapped, snatching the Polaroid out of his hands. He tossed it onto the gas flame beneath the sausage before Maul could protest. Xanatos glared, and Maul just shrugged.

"I have others," he said nonchalantly, rising from his seat. "Your pancakes are burning, Jedi," he added, heading for the door as Obi spun to face the stove in a panic.

-------------

Ulic Qel-Droma found himself halfway across the room and being helped to his feet by Darth Maul, his ears still ringing from the jolt he�d received.

"It�s a good idea to turn off the house power *Before* handling bare wires," Maul commented, patting out a small spot of smoke and flame on Ulic�s shoulder. Ulic grumbled something, most likely a curse, but too half-hearted to be heard.

"Where�s Kun and the other attractions from the Freak Show," Ulic grumbled, dusting himself off and glaring at the smoldering hole in the wall. Maul shrugged.

"Having breakfast. If Kun�s awake yet," he said, then smirked evilly. Ulic looked at him curiously.

"And what�s all that about?" he asked. Maul just sighed dramatically and walked away.

He paused. "You know, there�s this website you should really look at," Maul purred over his shoulder. "You might find the image gallery.... enlightening." he finished, then walked away.

---------

Xanatos had just finished pouring two glasses of orange juice when Exar came into the kitchen muttering something under his breath about the foul taste of padawan braid, With Evyl Obi not far behind.

"You two gave me nightmares," Kun snapped, pointing an accusing finger at Obi-wan. "And where the hell is Maul. Don�t give me that look, I heard him opening the door and laughing in my sleep. I want whatever pictures he took, and if you tell anyone about this, I�ll personally gouge out your eyes with a dull stick."

Exar suddenly swatted Evyl in the stomach. "And if I ever catch your blanket-hogging, psychotic cloned ass within fifty paces of my sleeping person again, I won�t hesitate to have you drawn, quartered, have your body scoured in acid, and give your bones to the Massassi as chew toys!" he snarled.

He then spun on his heel and stormed out, leaving Evyl scratching his head sleepily. He shrugged and staggered over to sit next to Xanatos.

"You slept with Kun," Xanatos said flatly, still shocked. Evyl shrugged.

"He makes a comfy pillow," Evyl shrugged, then yawned. "His ponytail nearly choked me, but he�s nice."

Obi-wan nearly spit his orange juice across the room.
"NICE?!?"

Evyl shrugged. "Did you know he dreams Jimi Hendrix songs when he sleeps? It�s really cool," he said offhandedly. "Do I smell melted plastic?" he asked.

Xanatos snorted into his glass, snickering. Obi-wan glared.

"No."

---------

It was nearly noon by the time the boys bothered to go back to the hotel. Maul asked them to all wait in the lobby for a moment. Ulic Qel-Droma, with singe marks on his gloves, snippets of multicolored wire in every pocket, and sawdust in his hair, proudly flipped the main switch for the foyer and upper hall lights.

Amazingly, on cue, brand-new reproduction coal-age wall sconces and a gaslight-style chandelier turned on with a glorious amber and rose-hued glow. Ulic was beaming so brightly several of them later swore that they probably felt his handyman ecstasy all the way back on Coruscant.

Then, with a sputter of sparks from the wall switch, every other light in the hotel went dark.

"You sonofa...." Ulic snarled, his joyful mood instantly descending into a fuming cloud of fury.

Exar hid a chuckle behind his hand, backing toward the door as Ulic stormed off down the hall, screwdriver in hand and death in his eyes.

"Maul! Get over here and give me a hand!" he called from somewhere out of sight. "And bring me that damn stud-finder!"

Exar burst out laughing, and Xanatos and Maul headed off to help Ulic.

"I finded me a stud," someone purred from behind him, resting his head on Exar�s arm.

Exar hissed in revulsion, smacking Evyl across the room with a force-slap so hard the real Obi-wan felt it.

"Just kidding!" Evyl called from his new position under the remains of a hanging plant and the coat rack. Exar sighed and walked off, ignoring him.

"Oww," he heard Evyl pout, and smiled.

Some things were worth keeping the little pest alive for. Random beatings and acts of violence were only one of them.

Others....... he�d have to think about for a while.

--------------

The End...... For Now.

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