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Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:46:19 PM) ||*hides places, from things*||Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:49:59 PM) ((Nono.)) ||*flex*||Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:50:54 PM) ||You're just upset you didn't get any of the sexy genes.||Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:52:35 PM) ||Do you see how scared I look of you? See? *blank stare*||Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:55:37 PM) ((*Ahem* Anyway. *duct tapes Anita to the C box* One evil C at a time.))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:56:12 PM) ||We're like a pack of wolves. You fuck with one of us, we'll just turn around and fuck you up.||Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:57:31 PM) ((Yeah. If she messes with Michelle's family, and any of the Maxton/Marden group find out...they'll jump on in.))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 10:59:25 PM) ((Except maybe Adrian.))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:04:49 PM) ((BRAN!))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:07:07 PM) ((And Maggie!))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:18:33 PM) Always read the label, kids.
Everyone knows before you take any kind of medication, you should read the lable. Observe the directions, the side effects, the negative interactions and proper dosage. Unless, of course, you want to make youself sick.
Jacob didn't read the label. He didn't care what exactly made up the massively effective painkillers that Tobias kept for him. He didn't care how many he was supposed to take...he'd just keep taking them until something happened. Tobias didn't hide these things from him. Left them out as temptation. These pills, the bottles of alcohol in the fridge and cabinets.
Vodka and pills. Enough to drown in.
Jake had starved himself all day, to make sure whatever he ended up taking would absorb better, wouldn't take as long. Hoping that the mix would let him slip into some kind of euphoric high before...
No such luck for him tonight. The mixture of countless thousands of miligrams of medication and the vodka was making him violently sick. He'd crawled into bed at least, and lay there writhing. His entire body contracting, trying to rid itself of the poision to no avail.
But it was working. At least he would lose conciousness soon. This little bit of pain, this fear. It was nothing to him. Jacob would be able to rest soon.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/9/2005 11:25:04 PM) He'd gone out to grab some groceries. Had left that morning, only to return at night. Groceries and.. other endeavors. That involved what was in that room he kept locked. The one that also was home to The Box.
Silence when he returned. Thinking Jake asleep, he silently put up the groceries before padding to the bedroom.
Asleep. But.. he smelled funny. Medication and alcohol. The empty bottle of vodka, empty containers of various pain meds. Anger flared briefly as Tobias stalked over and shoved those things from the bed, to the floor.
Clammy. Shaking, even in deep sleep. Dangerous.
A low snarl as he picked up the phone and dialed a number. Hushed tones, nodding, before he hung up.
Moments later, someone showed up. A doctor, perhaps? Or. Something not quite legal? Either way, the man slipped something into Jake's mouth. Liquid. Made him swallow. It'd make the young man throw up. Which, was why they had him by the toilet now.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:29:27 PM) He had just felt himself slipping, finally. On the edge of the sleep he desired. Cold and enveloping, the pain fading.
Until something grabbed him, forced it's way in. He felt the conciousness pushing on him again, and more importantly, the pain. Always the pain. Every waking moment. And if he failed now, there'd just be more pain with even less chance to escape it.
He let out a soft whine as the liquid took effect, seizing his stomach into a violent contraction.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/9/2005 11:32:28 PM) Tobias stood, watching. Barefoot. Clad in jeans and a plain t-shirt. Perhaps the most casual anyone had seen him. Even Jake. Even in his own home. He'd been a strange mood. And, well.
The "doctor" held Jake's head as he threw up. Threw up. Threw up. Until there was nothing left. He then more or less forced some pills, and some more liquid, down Jake's throat. To help keep him awake. To flush the poison from his system.
Then he left Jake by the toilet and got up. Hushed whispered tones before Tobias nodded and the man left. Tobias then left Jake on the floor of the bathroom and went to the kitchen. Pouring himself a glass of wine.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:37:10 PM) Minutes and minutes as the new set of pills took effect. Sobering him up, keeping him concious...leaving him aware that Tobias had saved him...most likely to simply turn around and kill him.
Fine. Murder was just as noble as suicide.
Jake didn't make it out of the bathroom for another twenty minutes. He didn't bother trying to make himself presentable. Didn't bother coming up with a reason, an excuse, anything. He was shirtless, just in sweatpants. Hair stiff with drying sweat. He even had to lean on the walls, just to walk toward the kitchen.
Just towards it. Not into it. Just close enough Tobias could watch him trying to keep his feet under him. Watch him shiver. Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/9/2005 11:41:28 PM) "Go put on a sweater. You're shivering." Not even looking up. The wine glass was filled, and currently? Tobias was fixing himself a sandwhich. Everything neat and precise. But the anger.. oh, the anger. It'd take a lot for Jake not to feel it just come rolling off Tobias like a heat wave.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:43:09 PM) He felt the anger. He let it fill the room. FIll the apartment. Swirl around him. But it didn't touch him. He was no angry. Not even...afraid now. He hadn't gone back into his emotionless state, either.
Jacob was just very, very sad.
He didn't move from his spot on the wall. Stayed and simply watched.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/9/2005 11:44:27 PM) Tobias finally sighed, and put down the knife he'd been using to smear ths slice of bread with mayo.
Sighed and leaned against the counter, one arm crossed over his stomach, elbow to hand, other hand punching the bridge of his nose with index finger and thumb.
After several, heavy moments of silence.
"Why?"Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:49:28 PM) "I'd ask you the same." Jake's voice was raw. Understandably, his throat hurt.
"Why did you stop me, Tobias? Is it 'cause you aren't done with me yet? Or because you wanted to punish me for puking on your sheets? Or 'cause you're my God now, and you have to decide when and how I die?" He was waiting for an answer, too. If nothing was offered, Jake would ask again. Demand.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/9/2005 11:53:05 PM) Eyes closed. Lips pressed in a thin line. He was doing his best to keep his temper down. And not succeeding very well.
"This is the thanks I get, hm? I.. I take you off the streets, Jacob. The streets. Under my wing and back here. Mind, you were the one who wanted this. You asked me, and I agreed." Hand falling as he turned on Jake, the movement slow, but full of animal like grace. Muscles like liquid under flesh.
"You didn't mind. No. You liked it." Hissed, eyes flashing. The beast. The beast. Taking a step towards the older man, fingers clenched into fists.
"You liked it. Until.. what, you change your mind? You changed your mind. You couldn't handle the worse of it. The last of it. You tripped at the finish line, Jacob." Trails of blood from claws sprung forth and digging into the flesh of his own hands. Curving over the lines of his fingers to drip on the carpet.
Tobias didn't seem to notice.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/9/2005 11:58:30 PM) Jake turned to himself, a moment. Considering the things Tobias said. He had wanted this, hadn't he? Wanted to learn to forget, forever. Wanted to be something and someone else without the responsibility, without the guilt. He liked the pain, though. Needed it. Deserved it. He'd numbed himself to everything else, to the sex and alcohol he still took in mass quantities but that did nothing to satisfy him. There was one final, brutal frontier.
And yes. It had been too much for him.
"Why won't you let me go?" Still no fear. He didn't brace himself. Didn't step back. Simply met the younger man's eyes and waited for his answer.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 12:00:18 AM) Tobias just.. watched Jake. Watched him. And the emotion draiend from his face. It was almost like watching some awful, car crash. You knew it'd be ugly. It'd be disturbing. But you watched, all the same. Muscles relaxed. Fingers uncurled. Blood and wounds still un noticed.
"So. That's it, is it? You want to leave." Voice void of any and everything. Hushed tones.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 12:00:27 AM) ((*hugs for Jade*))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 12:04:13 AM) "I want something I don't think you can give me."
Jacob finally moved away from the wall. Feet still unsteady, legs unsure. All the same, he stepped over to Tobias. He'd noticed the blood, the wounds, but paid them no mind.
Didn't matter now.
If Tobias allowed him to get close enough, he'd simply rest his forehead against the younger man's shoulder.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 12:05:36 AM) No response. But his voice dropped, head turning so he could whisper, softly, into Jake's ear.
"What is it I can not give you, Jacob?" Hesitant, unsure. He didn't like where this covnersation was headed..Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 12:08:47 AM) ((Nope. Go right ahead, Bran. *grin*))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 12:10:37 AM) Regardless of if he liekd the fact, Tobias was Jacob's sole source of comfort. The only thing he had to lean on, the only thing he had to look forward to, since Tobias had even cheated him out of his final life experience.
"You won't let me be myself. I'm too weak and not sick enough to keep you happy." His hands ran along Tobias' sides...where nails had run before, though the marks Jake left were long gone.
"And you couldn't love me."Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 1:45:28 AM) Regardless of if he liekd the fact, Tobias was Jacob's sole source of comfort. The only thing he had to lean on, the only thing he had to look forward to, since Tobias had even cheated him out of his final life experience.
"You won't let me be myself. I'm too weak and not sick enough to keep you happy." His hands ran along Tobias' sides...where nails had run before, though the marks Jake left were long gone.
"And you couldn't love me."Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 1:47:52 AM) "You wanted lessons. You said nothing about a relationship." Tobias felt cheated, somehow. Things would've been different. Maybe. If Jake would've told him that.
Tobias wasn't sure he was capable of love. Atleast.. not the sort of love that you read about in books and watched in the movie theatre. His love was possessive, wanting. Needful. There was nothing too sweet or sugar coated with his love.
One hand curled, to rest on Jake's back, leaving the bare flesh there bloodied from the cuts on his palm.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 1:52:40 AM) The blood didn't matter...Jake had very little 'bare flesh' on his back these days. The rare spot that wasn't either cut open or bandaged, but...most of it was somehow covered. Even when he was gentle...it hurt.
"I didn't know that's what I wanted."
This situation was entirely his fault. That he'd allowed himself to sink this low without ever calling out. Now...there was this. He was trapped here with this monster. One way or another, he feared it would end this way.
"It doesn't matter, though. Do what you want."Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 1:57:02 AM) "i thought you were happy." Tobias sounded disappointed. Jake would've never seen him like this. His shoulders even slumped a little. His finger tips ghosted over the bandages before he pulled away and walked back to the living room, to stand in front of the big-screen TV. Watching his reflection in the darkness.
"I did what you wanted." Pausing. "And how is it that I'm the one getting punished for it?"Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:00:19 AM) He watched Tobias stalk away over him...and felt guilty. Because what he'd done was...ultimately selfish. His death would hurt those close to him. His family.
Tobias had never been included in that count, but apparently...
"Hey." Jake's voice became soft, as if he were actually speaking to a hurt lover. Tobias wouldn't be that. Wouldn't ever be the thing he needed. But...he might come close. He might have to do.
Jacob followed him after a moment, reaching out for one of his bloodied hands.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:05:30 AM) Tobias didn't really resist, though the bloodied hand wouldn't respond to Jake's touch. He stared at himself, speaking quietly.
"I won't deny that I am a monster. My mother and father's son, really." Eyes closing briefly. "My father.. I don't know his name. But. He's selfish. Has a knack for.. leaving families behind. My mother gave me up when I was little. They were both feral." A shrug. Eyes opening. "I'm what they created."
He then glanced to the side, to the ground, but his head turning towards Jake. "Those people.. expect you to be something you're not. And.. I did. Because that's what you said you wanted." Yellow eyes glanced up, to meet Jake's.
"You seem to have a knack for being things you aren't, Jacob."Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:14:26 AM) "I'm sorry." He knew a man like that. Who liked to sire children and leave. He'd seen the damage it could do. When loved ones leave their families. Tobias was simply further proof of the good a stable family life could do.
So, when Jake said he was sorry...he meant it. Tobias, even though he wasn't used to Jake's abilities would feel those words as well as hear them. The younger man, that monster...was hurting, somehow.
Sighing, his chin rested on Tobias' shoulder again. Arms around his waist, standing behind him. Open wounds and attempts to leave the mortal coil aside...it was almost a sweet picture.
"I have a lot of practice at being what I'm not. My parents...are good people. They took care of me, they raised my right. Implanted a sense of self and justice in me. I knew who I was and exactly what I wanted out of life....just like my mother. And when I saw what that got her..."
The moment struck him as funny, really. He'd never explained his reasons for shutting down to anyone, even himself. Tobias would be the first.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:18:32 AM) "Why don't you be yourself?" Asking, letting his cheek rest against the side of Jake's face now. Eyes on the ground, TV.. anywhere but him.
"You shouldn't let what others think of you, define you as a person, Jacob." A slight shaking of his head. A normal conversation. It was surprising, really. But. Maybe. Something good will come out of what Jake had attempted.
"What happened? With your mother?"Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:18:44 AM) ((Mmm, the last one.))Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:19:06 AM) ((Yes. Or atleast, that's what Mike's liking.))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:19:19 AM) ((Hee...boobies. *ahem*))Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:23:12 AM) "Because that's who I was. The thing I became..."
He sighed. Nuzzling his head against the younger man's neck, like he had so many nights before. Not exactly where he wanted to be, but...it would do.
"She...you might have heard of her. She spent her entire life fighting for the rights of people like us. Metas." Assuming Tobias fell under that umbrella.
"She loved us all. Took such good care of us. We needed her. And...she stepped down from the public eye for us. They called her out one night, ambushed her..."Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:26:59 AM) He knew who he referred to. Or atleast, he thought he did. He'd heard about it. Humans just.. yeah. The normal ones who still cried out against people who were different - though that problem didn't seem to be as big, anymore - still made him quite angry.
"Killed her?" Softly, in the quiet. Normally, talk of killing excited Tobias. But this was simple talk. And his tone lacked the usual joy about such a topic.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:29:55 AM) "That's too polite a word. She was an empath, like me. Unarmed. There were eight of them...simi-automatic..." He'd not spoken a word about this. Not since the week after she'd died, when her last requests were carried out. He'd simply drawn into himself. Stuck to his duties. And when the time came? He'd left them all, for fear of feeling that pain again. For fear of causing that pain.
Just shut down, for fear of feeling. A terrible thing for an empath to do.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:32:44 AM) "I see." Voice quiet, spoken a heartbeat or five after Jake had trailed off. He was getting the whole picture, now.
"You left, did you?" Hadn't the girl said something like that? "A family and a girlfriend, if I'm not mistaken?"Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:35:50 AM) "Family. Angel's...a good friend. We grew up together." And dated once. And...
A sigh, hot, breathed out against Tobias' neck.
"I shouldn't be telling you this, should I?" Of course he'd never seen Tobias like this. Perhaps, the monster could be capable of compassion. It was just as likely this would be used against him later.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:38:25 AM) Tobias merely shrugged.
"You changed, Jacob. You enjoyed it.. and then you didn't. A swift change." Pausing. "It's been more than just a few weeks.. and then for the past few days, things have not been. Good."
He turned, stepping away. "If you wish to leave, you may." He then turned and went back to the kitchen, as if remembering the sandwhich was still half-done. Picking up the turkey.. placing it on one slice of bread. Lettuce. Tomatoes..Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:43:33 AM) Jacob stayed in the living room. Stunned, actually. Had he...no. It was a trick. A test. A trap. Something. He'd reach for the door, and be attacked, and put in The Box for a week. It couldn't have been this simple.
This entire time, all he had to do was say; 'there's no place like home' and click his heels. Not just in these past weeks. Eight years since he'd been home. Since he'd seen his family.
Given up for this. For the addictions and scars, and for eight years of losing the person he'd been.
He sat down on the couch, and for the second time in those eight years, found himself crying.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:49:32 AM) It hadn't taken long for Jake to get cleaned up, dressed. Gather his few belongings that he'd brought. Almost everything had been sold when he left his apartment just a short time ago. A few changes of clothes, some personal items. Nothing important.
Now, he stood by the door. Walking out should have been much easier. But he was still waiting for the other proverbial shoe to drop. There had to be something more, because...
This simply wasn't right.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:52:49 AM) Tobias had finished his sandwhich, and now sat on the couch. Idily reading the paper. The wine glass set on a coaster on the glass coffee table, half full. He'd drinken about three glasses during the short time ithad taken Jake to be ready to go.
But. Tobias just sat there. Silent. The only sound the rustling of the paper as one page turned. Silence.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 2:55:49 AM) His eyes roamed over the apartment, from the door. Finally falling on Tobias, reading his paper. As usual. Yet another sigh...Jake left his single bag by the door, and walked over, sitting next to Tobias. Not afraid, now.
Just...himself. Even as he was still struggling to remember who that was.
"You shouldn't drink so much."Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 2:57:20 AM) "My healing capabilities have a strong resistance to alcohol, I'm afraid. It will take about three bottles of this particular brand of wine for me to feel the slightest effects." Pausing, eyes skimming over the articles. Something about zombies. Rubbish.
"And. I did just eat." The turning of one page before eyes lifted as he watched Jake. "Well? Thought you were in a hurry to get back to the people who love you." Maybe, just, a little bitter.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 3:00:11 AM) Love...all emotions, really, are complicated. Love did not apply here. But something did. Some sense of obligation. Ultimately...Tobias had given him the final push he'd needed.
"I am. It didn't feel right leaving withou a goodbye, though."Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 3:02:12 AM) Tobias paused, watching Jake. Studying him for a bit before he gave a polite nod. "Goodbye, Jacob."
Extending one hand, to shake Jake's. Very polite and professional. Just as Jake had met him, in that bar, weeks ago.Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 3:07:07 AM) "Let me see your hand..." He muttered, softly, before reaching out to take the already offered palm in both his hands. Indeed, the cuts that had been there just minutes before were closing. Gone by morning, along with all signs of Jacob. Would Tobias miss him? In his own way. The way a child misses a toy when it's broken and thrown out. They'll go buy a new one, and forget...
"You know...I'm very fond of you, Tobias." Jake brought the younger man's open and sore palm to his lips, placing the lightest kiss there.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 3:08:40 AM) "And you're still leaving." Tone flat, and he took his hand back. The wounds closing. Would be closed. No scars. He never did, it seemed, despite the one on his upper lip.
Tobias sighed, and turned back to the paper. "Return to your family, Jacob."Jacob Thomas Chandler (Nicole) (1/10/2005 3:11:04 AM) "Thank you." Even with his hearing, the words would barely touch his ear before Jake, still with an unusual amount of effort, lifted himself from the couch. Walked across the apartment to his bag, gathered it up.
Opened the door he'd barely dared to go out during his stay...
And was gone.Tobias Archer (Damon W) (1/10/2005 3:13:12 AM) ((*fade*))
