EPISODE
GUIDE 
Neighborhood Watch

Blair:
It's about spiritual enlightenment. Being a sentinel, I would
hope you'd be more open to that.
Jim: I'll tell you what enlightenment is. It's when they can fly to Paris without a plane.

Jim: It's definitely evidence of C-4 here, Captain.
Megan: How does he do that?
Blair: Uh...demolitions expert in the army.

Bud: You can buy a badge at any pawnshop. Oh, yeah, I guess your
little hippie friend here is your partner, right?

Jim: You could be my nephew.
Blair: Don't you think I'm a little old for that?
Jim: You think anybody would buy us as brothers?

Megan: When I kissed you before, you didn't seem to like it much.
We don't want the neighbors to think our marriage is in trouble.
Jim: No, it was...it was good for me. Uh... I heard the symphony play. The earth moved for me.

Katie: Thanks. You're his nephew?
Blair: Uh...yeah. By a second marriage.

Jim: All right, all right, here's the bottom line. You or any of
these other bozos go goose-stepping around the neighborhood with
loaded guns, I'm gonna have to haul in the lot of you. Is that
understood?
Megan: We're one big happy
family here. Can't we just share?
Blair: Well, in the family unit structure -- you being the mom -- why don't you go do some shopping?
Megan: We'll need Uncle Jim's gold card.
Jim: You've already exhausted your allowance?
Megan: Mm-hmm. On floor wax and nine-millimeter shells.
Jim: Can't eat that.

Jim: Bud Flint says they're swingers.
Megan: Hmm... maybe we can all go out dancing one night. Or not.
Jim: I think we're
about wrapped up here, Captain. (to Megan) Why don't you go
finish packing up the house, dear.
Megan: Me?
Jim: Yeah.
Megan: Captain Banks, I'd like to officially request a divorce.
Jim: But, sir...

Simon: Sandburg, I put you here to keep an eye on them.
Blair: What?! Wrong. You put me here so that they wouldn't kill each other. I'm not a therapist. I'm an anthropologist.
Simon: Yeah, well, maybe you should consider supplementing your degree. Go to night school. Do something!