GEORGE DAWES!!!
HE'S JUST A GREAT BIG BABY!
Meet George Bubba Dawes...
Three men - Reeves, Mortimer and Lamarr - brought gifts and knelt at the side of the manger: gold, frankincense and a Pingu. As George rode alone on the back of a donkey, he stopped in each and every town he passed through and by tapping percussive rhythms on the wounds of the sick, he quickly gained a loyal following. One day, whilst resting with his disciples, George was distracted by a quarrelling couple.
'My wife has stolen my oxen,' said the man.
'I believe they are rightfully mine,' said the woman.
'What are the laws, George Dawes?' asked the couple.
George deliberated before solving the problem.
Years later, in medieval England, George was approached by an aspiring playwright called William Shakespeare who was depressed after his first play had been rejected by the RSC. 'What are the flaws, George Dawes?' asked William Shakespeare. George deliberated before solving the problem. It was dynamic leadership qualities such as these that led to George's involvement, once more, with the errant comic twosome, Reeves and Mortimer. ....Oh yeah, and Mark Lamarr. ....Oh yeah, and something called Ulrikakaka Jonsson.
And now, George resides in judgement over the hilarious, zany, post-modern, surreal comedy quiz Shooting Stars.
Fear for the children.
"Seen pretty women? Yes? Yeah so what, so have I, you know it's been on telly 4 times. Know what I mean? It's been in the cinema. Know what I mean? You think you're some sort of big shot don't you? Know what I mean, you can't come in and give me lip. This is my domain, this is my territory."
"Gregory, Gregory, GREGORY YOU SLAG!! Pick up that tissue would you."
"You is bad mother lover, you is bad. You is fat cow, and sort your life out"
"Alice, take that eccle's cake out of yer arse and put it back on the table. Our children must eat."
"Hands and faces, hands and faces, so hands and faces and arses and things"
"I got drunk last night, shouldn't have been sitting in a tea cup. I'm ready for the crack me, I've a great time I do, I just love to crack, I'm a scouser I got a smashin sense of humour and I love to crack, I really do "
"IRIS! TAKE YER KID'S CAKE OUT OF YER SHOE, PUT IT BACK ON THE TABLE! OUR CHILDREN MUST EAT!"
"While you mock me, do not forget as you languish in your own effluence that I am a self-made man, and I could buy you."
"I may be fat, but I'm not as fat as your mother!"
"Man you're lyin' to me! You told me you loved Chambourcy Hippopotamousse, I went out and bought five, and now you tell me you don't like 'em. At this rate Arnie, I'm gonna be bankrupt!"
"I simply adore my next-door neighbour's house, yeah: right up my street! Aah, I just love to crack mate, that's all I'm here for, to crack, havin' a great time."
"Oh, tu est magnifique, oh tu est formidable, oh tu est la creme de la salle de bains de la Frances de la Tour"
"Joan, Put your breasts away."