The King Wianecki Diet
Hey fatass.  The low carb, Atkins diet not working? Well, I've found your best bet.  I call it: The King Wianecki diet.  It requires very little work and money. 

Step one: Go to your local gun store and buy any gun and two bullets. 

Step two: Load the gun with the first bullet and shoot your left foot.

Step three: Hop on your left foot (Repeat as much as desired).

Now this last step is key.
Step four: Load the second bullet into the gun, bite the barrel and pull the trigger.

No more fatass. My satisfaction guarenteed.
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