mystuffCarver

What We Talk About When We Talk About Love

Scene: A kitchen table at dusk. Sunlight filters in from a kitchen window. A bottle of gin and an ice bucket are on the table, and glasses are in hand. There is much drinking throughout the dialogue.

Voice-over of Nick: �My friend Mel McGinnis was talking. Mel is a cardiologist, and sometimes that gives him the right.

Mel: I spent five years in the seminary before I quit to go to medical school, and I still think real love is nothing less than spiritual love. That�s the real thing. Deep, spiritual love. �Course, the man Terri was with before me, he loved her so much he tried to kill her.

Terri: He beat me up one night. He dragged me around the living room by my ankles. He kept saying, �I love you, I love you, you bitch.� He went on dragging me around the living room. My head kept knocking on things. What do you do with love like that?

Mel: My God, don�t be silly. That�s not love, and you know it. I don�t know what you�d call it, but I sure know you wouldn�t call it love.

Terri: Say what you want to, but I know it was. It may sound crazy to you, but it�s true just the same. People are different, Mel. Sure, sometimes he may have acted crazy. Okay. But he loved me. In his own way maybe, but he loved me. There was love there, Mel. Don�t say there wasn�t.

Mel(to Laura and Nick): The man threatened to kill me. (drinks) Terri�s a romantic. Terri�s of the kick-me-so-I�ll-know-you-love-me school. Terri, hon, don�t look that way. (touches Terri�s cheek)

Terri: Now he wants to make up.

Mel: Make up what? What is there to make up? I know what I know. That�s all.

Terri: How�d we get started on this subject anyway? (drinks) Mel always has love on his mind. Don�t you, honey?

Mel: I just wouldn�t call Ed�s behavior love. That�s all I�m saying, honey. What about you guys? Does that sound like love to you?

Nick: I�m the wrong person to ask. I didn�t know the man. I�ve only heard his name mentioned in passing. I wouldn�t know. You�d have to know the particulars. But I think what you�re saying is that love is an absolute.

Mel: The kind of love I�m talking about is. The kind of love I�m talking about, you don�t try to kill people.

Laura: I don�t know anything about Ed, or anything about the situation. But who can judge anyone else�s situation? (Nick touches Laura�s hand, affectionately)

Terri: When I left, he drank rat poison. They took him to the hospital in Santa Fe. That�s where we lived then, about ten miles out. They saved his life. But his gums went crazy from it. I mean they pulled away from his teeth. After that, his teeth stood out like fangs. My God.

(beat. Drink.)

Laura: What people won�t do!

Mel: He�s out of the action now. He�s dead.

Terri: It gets worse. He shot himself in the mouth. But he bungled that too. Poor Ed. (shakes her head)

Mel: Poor Ed nothing. He was dangerous.

Terri: He did love me though, Mel. Grant me that. That�s all I�m asking. He didn�t love me the way you love me. I�m not saying that. But he loved me. You can grant me that, can�t you?

Nick: What do you mean, he bungled it?

(beat. Terri leans forward, looks bewildered)

Nick: How�d he bungle it when he killed himself?

Mel: I�ll tell you what happened. He took this twenty-two pistol he�d bought to threaten Terri and me with . Oh, I�m serious, the man was always threatening. You should have seen the way we lived in those days. Like fugitives. I even bought a gun myself. Can you believe it? A guy like me? But I did. I bought one for self-defense and carried it in the glove compartment. Sometimes I�d have to leave the apartment in the middle of the night. To go to the hospital, you know? Terri and I weren�t married then, and my first wife had the house and kids, the dog, everything, and Terri and I were living in this apartment here. Some times, as I say, I�d get a call in the middle of the night and have to go in to the hospital at two or three in the morning. It�d be dark out there in the parking lot, and I�d break into a sweat before I could even get to my car. I never knew if he was going to come up out of the shrubbery or from behind a car and start shooting. I mean, the man was crazy. He was capable of wiring a bomb, anything. He used to call my service at all hours and say he needed to talk to the doctor, and when I�d return the call, he�d say, �Son of a bitch, your days are numbered.� Little things like that. It was scary, I�m telling you.

Terri: I still feel sorry for him.

Laura: It sounds like a nightmare. But what exactly happened after he shot himself?

Mel: He shot himself in the mouth in his room. Someone heard the shot and told the manager. They cam in with a passkey, saw what had happened, and called an ambulance. I happened to be there when they brought him in, alive but past recall. The man lived for three days. His head swelled up to twice the size of a normal head. I�d never seen anything like it, and I hope I never do again. Terri wanted to go in and sit with him when she found out about it. We had a fight over it. I didn�t think she should see him like that. I didn�t think she should see him, and I still don�t.

Laura: Who won the fight?

Terri: I was in the room with him when he died. He never came up out of it. But I sat with him. He didn�t have anyone else.

Mel: He was dangerous. If you call that love, you can have it.

Terri: It was love. Sure, it�s abnormal in most people�s eyes. but he was willing to die for it. He did die for it.

Mel: I sure as hell wouldn�t call it love. I mean, no one know what he did it for. I�ve seen a lot of suicides, and I couldn�t say anyone ever knew what they did it for.

I�m not interested in that kind of love. If that�s love, you can have it.

Terri: We were afraid. Mel even made a will out and wrote to his brother in California who used to be a Green Beret. Mel told him who to look for if something happened to him.

But Mel�s right � we lived like fugitives. We were afraid. Mel was, weren�t you, honey? I even called the police at one point, but they were no help. they said they couldn�t do anything until Ed actually did something. Isn�t that a laugh?

(lights down. intermission? lights up. everyone is still around the table, maybe in different positions. Laura is between Nick and Mel )

Laura: Well, Nick and I know what love is. For us, I mean. (beat. To Nick, flirting.) You�re supposed to say something now.

(Nick kisses Laura�s hand. Everyone laughs.)

Nick: We�re lucky.

Terri: You guys. Stop that now. You�re making me sick. You�re still on the honeymoon, for God�s sake. You�re still gaga, for crying out loud. Just wait. How long have you been together now? How long has it been? A year? Longer than a year?

Laura: Going on a year and a half.

Terri: Oh, now. Wait a while.

I�m only kidding.

Mel: (with a new bottle of gin) Here, you guys. Let�s have a toast. I want to propose a toast. A toast to love. To true love.

All: To love.

(they drink. there is a pregnant pause.)

Mel: I�ll tell you what real love is. I mean, I�ll ive you a good example. And then you can draw your own conclusions.

What do any of us really know about love? It seems to me we�re just beginners at love. We say we love each other and we do, I don�t doubt it. I love Terri and Terri loves me, and you guys love each other too. You know the kind of love I�m talking about now. Physical love, that impulse that drives you to someone special, as well as love of the other person�s being, his or her essence, as it were. Carnal love and, well, call it sentimental love, the day-to-day caring about the other person. But sometimes I have a hard time accounting for the fact that I must have loved my first wife too. But I did, I know I did. So I suppose I am like Terri in that regard. Terri and Ed.

There was a time when I though I loved my first wife more than life itself. But no I hat her guts. I do. How do you explain that? What happened to that love? what happened to it, is what I�d like to know. I wish someone could tell me. Then there�s Ed. Okay, we�re back to Ed. He loves Terri so much he tries to kill her and he wind up killing himself. You guys have been together eighteen months and you love each other. It shows all over you. You glow with it. But you both loved other people before you met each other. You�ve both been married before, just like us. And you probably loved other people before that too, even. Terri and I have been together five years, been married for four. And the terrible thing, the terrible thing is, but the good thing too, the saving grace, you might say, is that if something happened to one of us � excuse me for saying this � but if something happened to one of us tomorrow, I think the other one, the other person, would grieve for a while, you know, but then the surviving party would go out and love again, have someone else soon enough. All this, all of this love we�re talking about, it would just be a memory. Maybe not even a memory. Am I wrong? Am I way off base? Because I want you to set me straight if you think I�m wrong. I want to know. I mean, I don�t know anything, and I�m the first one to admit it.

Terri: Mel, for God�s sake. Are you getting drunk? Honey? Are you drunk?

Mel: Honey, I�m just talking. All right? I don�t have to be drunk to say what I think. I mean, we�re all just talking, right?

Terri: Sweetie, I�m not criticizing.

Mel: I�m not on call today. Let me remind you of that. I am not on call.

Laura: Mel, we love you.

(�Mel looked at Laura. Looked at her as if he could not place her, as if she was not the woman she was.�)

Mel: Love you too, Laura. And you, Nick, love you too. You know something? You guys are our pals.

(beat. drink. the mood changes a bit.)

Mel: I was going to tell you about something. I mean, I was going to prove a point. You see, this happened a few months ago, but it�s still going on right now, and it ought to make us feel ashamed when we talk like we know what we�re talking about when we talk about love.

Terri: Come on now. Don�t talk like you�re drunk if you�re not drunk.

Mel: (quietly): Just shut up for once in your life. Will you do me a favor and do that for a minute? So as I was saying, there�s this old couple who had this car wreck out on the interstate. A kid hit them and they were all torn to shit and nobody was giving them much chance to pull through.

I was on call that night. It was May or maybe it was June. Terri and I had just say down to dinner when the hospital called. There�d been this thing out on the interstate. Drunk kid, teenager, plowed his dad�s pickup into this camper with this old couple in it. They were up in their mid-seventies, that couple. The kid�eighteen, nineteen, something � he was DOA. Taken the steering wheel through his sternum. The old couple, they were alive, you understand. I mean, just barely. But they had everything. Multiple fractures, internal injuries, hemorrhaging, contusions, lacerations, the works, and they each of them had themselves concussions. They were in a bad way, believe me. And, of course, their age was two strikes against them. I�d say she was worse off than he was. Ruptured spleen along with everything else. Both kneecaps broken. But they�d been wearing their seatbelts and, God knows, that�s what saved them for the time being.

Terri: Folks, this is an advertisement for the National Safety Council. This is your spokesman, Dr. Melvin R. McGinnis, talking. (laughs.) Mel, sometimes you�re just too much. But I love you, hon.

Mel: Honey, I love you. (they kiss)

Terri�s right. Get those seatbelts on. But seriously, they were in some shape, those oldsters. By the time I got down there, the kids was dead, as I said. He was off in a corner, laid out on a gurney. I took one look at the old couple and told the ER nurse to get me a neurologist and an orthopedic man and a couple of surgeons down there right away.

I�ll try to keep this short. So we took the two of them up the OR and wokred like fuck on them most of the night. They had these incredible reserves, those two. You see that once in a while. So we did everything that could be done, and toward morning we�re giving them a fifty-fifty chance, maybe less than that for her. So here they are, still alive the next morning. So, okday, we move them into the ICU, which is hwere they both kept pluggin away at it for two weeks, hitting it better and better on all the scopes. So we transfer them out to their own room.

Here. Let�s drink this cheapo gin the hell up. Then we�re going to dinner, right? Terri and I know a new place. That�s where we�ll go, to this new place we know about. But we�re not going until we finish up this cut-rate, lousy gin.

Terri: We haven�t actually eaten there yet. But it looks good. From the outside, you know.

Mel: I like food. If I had it to do all over again, I�d be a chef, you know? Right, Terri?
Terri knows. Terri can tell you. But let me say this. If I could com back again in a different life, a different time and all, you know what? I�d like to come back as a knight. You were pretty safe wearing all that armor. It was all being a knight until gunpowder and muskets and pistols came along.

Terri: Mel would like to ride a horse and carry a lance.

Laura: Carry a woman�s scarf with you everywhere.

Mel: Or just a woman.

Laura: Shame on you!

Terri: Suppose you came back as a serf. The serfs didn�t have it so good in those days.

Mel: The serfs never had it good. But I guess even the knights were vessels to someone. Isn�t that the way it worked? But then everyone is always a vessel to someone. Isn�t that right, Terri? But what I liked about knights, besides their ladies, was that they had that suit of armor, you know and they couldn�t get hurt very easy. No cars in those days, you know? No drunk teenagers to tear into your ass.

Terri: Vassals.

Mel: What?

Terri: Vassals. They were called vassals, not vessels.

Mel: Vassals, vessels. What the fuck�s the difference? You knew what I meant anyway. All right, so I�m not educated. I learned my stuff. I�m a heart surgeon, sure, but I�m just a mechanic. I go in and I fuck around and I fix things. Shit.

Terri: Modesty doesn�t become you.

Nick: He�s just a humble sawbones. But sometimes they suffocated in all that armor, Mel. They�d even have heart attacks if it got too hot and they were too tired and worn out. I read somewhere that they�d fall off their horses and not be able to get up because they were too tired to stand with all that armor on them. They got trampled by their own horses sometimes.

Mel: That�s terrible. That�s a terrible thing, Nicky. I guess they�d just have to lay there and wait until somebody came along and made a shish kebab out of them.

Terri: Some other vessel.

Mel: That�s right. Some vassal would come along and spear the bastard in the name of love. Or whatever the fuck it was they fought over in those days.

Terri: Same things we fight over these days.

Laura: Nothing�s changed.

(pause. someone pours a drink.)

Laura: What about the old couple? You didn�t finish that story you started.

Nick: What about the old couple.

Terri: Older but wiser. (mel stares at her) Go on with your story, hon. I was only kidding. Then what happened?

Mel: Terri, sometimes.

Terri: Please, Mel. Don�t always be so serious, sweetie. Can�t you take a joke?

Mel: Where�s the joke?

Laura: What happened?

Mel: Laura, if I didn�t have Terri and if I didn�t love her so much, and if Nick wasn�t my best friend, I�d fall in love with you. I�d carry you off, honey.

Terri: Tell your story, then we�ll go to that new place, okay?

Mel: Okay. Where was I?

I dropped in to see each of them every day, sometimes twice a day if I was up doing other calls anyway. Casts and bandages, head to foot, the both of them. You know, you�ve seen it in the movies. That�s just the way the looked, just like in the movies. Little eye-holes and nose-holes and mouth-holes. And she had to have her legs slung up on top of it. Well, the husband was very depressed for the longest while. Even after he found out that his wife was going to pull through, he was still very depressed. Not about the accident, though. I mean, the accident was one thing. but it wasn�t everything. I�d get up to his mouth-hole, you know, and he�s say no, it wasn�t the accident exactly but it was because he couldn�t see her through his eye-holes. He said that was what was making him feel so bad. Can you imagine. I�m telling you, the man�s heart was breaking because he couldn�t turn his goddamn head and see his goddamn wife.

I mean, it was killing the old far just because he couldn�t look at the fucking woman.

Do you see what I�m saying?

(pause. most everyone�s pretty drunk, and not sure how to respond to Mel.)

Mel: Listen. Let�s finish this fucking gin. There�s about enough left her for on shooter all around. Then let�s go eat. Let�s go to the new place.

Terri: He�s depressed. Mel, why don�t you take a pill?

Mel: I�ve taken everything there is.

Nick: We all need a pill now and then.

Terri: Some people are born needing them.

Mel: I think I want to call my kids. Is that all right with everybody? I�ll call my kids.

Terri: What if Marjorie answers the phone? You gyus you�ve heard us on the subject of Marjorie. Honey, you know you don�t want to talk to marjorie. It�ll make you feel even worse.

Mel: I don�t want to talk to Marjorie. But I want to talk to my kids.

Terri: There isn�t a day goesy by that Mel doesn�t say he wishes she�d get married again. Or else die. For one thing, she�s bankrupting us. Mel says it�s just to spite him that she won�t get married again. She has a boyfriend who lives with her and the kids, so Mel is supporting the boyfriend too.

Mel: She�s allergic to bees. If I�m not praying she�ll get married again, I�m praying she�ll get herself stung to death by a swarm of fucking bees.

Laura: Shame on you.

Mel: Bzzzzz. (turns his fingers into bees and teases Terri�s neck.. Then drops his hands to his sides, suddenly.)

Mel: She�s vicious. Sometimes I think I�ll go up there dressed like a beekeeper. You know, that hat that�s like a helmet with the plate that comes down over your face, the big gloves, and he padded coat? I�ll knock on the door and let loose a hive of bees. in the house. But first I�m make sure the kids were out, of course.

Maybe I won�t call the kids, after all. Maybe it isn�t such a hot idea. Maybe we�ll just go eat. How does that sound?

Nick: Sounds fine to me. Eat or not eat. Or keep drinking. I could head right out into the sunset.

Laura: What does that mean, honey?

Nick: It means just what I said. It means I could just keep going. That�s all it means.

Laura: I could eat something myself. I don�t think I�ve ever been so hungry in my life. Is there something to nibble on?

Terri: I�ll put out some cheese and crackers. (but she does not get up.)

Mel: (turns his glass over, spilling the last sip of gin on the table.) Gin�s gone.

(silence, for a few beats. Nobody moves. Then lights down, slowly.)