| 01. I Will Not Die by Jude Christodal It only hurts me when I'm awake It seems to die with dreaming And there's only so much that I can fake When my whole life's careening down I will not die It only kills me 'cause I'm alive And living this disaster And it's all I can do now to survive I live to beat my master down I will not die Down, I will not die When I'm well I long to be Only in love with you But I guess I'll never be whole And you know it's true It does not stop me that we all die I know this trip's to slaughter But if only I could let me cry I feel the healing water roll down I will not die Down, I will not die Down, I will not die 02. Out Of L.A. by Jude Christodal This town's gotta shake down to its roots I don't know if that's the sands or the tropical fruits I don't believe all the things I see But I'm still betting on you and me Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. I met a girl who looked like a movie star She was going for a ride and I don't mean in a car Had a brain about the size of a frozen pea And on a scale of one to ten she was twenty-three Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of LA Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of LA A big fat man's gonna make me a king He got a see-through tan and a pinky diamond ring (yeah) Slicked-back hair, shirt to his thigh Import silk slave labor dyed Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta go get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. The boy whores sell their souls on the boulevard And that's a shirt-free store where they don't take a credit card From the hills to the chills its a quick fall down It's a great big city, it's a real small town Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L,A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta go get out of L.A. Hey, hey baby, we've gotta go ... 03. You Mama You by Jude Christodal When I was young and pushed around And beaten up and beaten down Who'd I run to mama tell me who And as I grew to be a man And all the world held such elan I did what I thought I just had to do It was you mama you, it was you all along It was you I ran away from I was wrong And if I could I'd change my life I swear to God I'd cut it out with a knife And with a glue stick I'd reapply it in a song And laid back Kerouac never no a heart attack Drinking and thinking about the place he ran back to The moloch is an old man the moloch is a love-lack Bending for a quick snack remembering his friend Jack And mama sometimes I remember you It was you mama you, it was you all along It was you I ran away from I was wrong And if I could I'd change my life I swear to God I'd cut it out with a knife And with a glue stick I'd reapply it in a song Man loves woman Mother loves child Sometimes I call my lady mama So I can feel at home for a while So I can feel at home for a while Looking around at all the Mellencamp towns The excuses and the nooses where the coffee grounds I found places and traces of a storybook world And I went out there for a ride On the misty coast but the holy host Is under Mickey D's American flag and it's unfurled It was you mama you, it was you all along It was you I ran away from I was wrong And if I could I'd change my life I swear to God I'd cut it out with a knife And with a glue stick I'd reapply it in a song Man loves woman sometimes Mother loves child Sometimes I call my lady Mama So I can feel at home for a while So I can feel at home for a while 04. George by Jude Christodal George died in the fifth grade No one ever knew why He was out selling lemonade On the Fourth of July, and he died Sister Claire said that he was An angel on earth She stood there and she told us She had clearly rehearsed every verse Of the lies that tie you down And I've forgotten my first love I haven't seen her since when But there's a bum on the corner He thinks that I'm his best friend, we pretend He says the rapture is any day That's when God's coming down Although perhaps He should stay away They'll run him right out of town, like a clown With the lies that tie you down There are times when a man feels That it's him against the world There are times when a man steals From the love of his girl There are days when a beast dies Long before the gun And there are days when a crow flies Straight into the sun, to be done With the lies that tie you down The lies that tie you down The lies that tie you down Nineteen ninety Nineteen ninety Nineteen ninety nine It's almost time 05. Paper Towel by Jude Christodal I'm not immune so I commune With the objects in my home I am caressed by my razor And so am not alone I spoon an oversized pillow I bought for such a use And to the flowers in my garden I am lover not recluse If you my dear were such a flower You would stay and only grow And I would tend to you and water, baby And straight up would you go You would spread and maybe blossom With each passing summer's day And not the suitors from a hundred hives Could draw your love away Then as Autumn shut the light Down in advance of Winter's bite According to true lover's creed You would not die but go to seed For so it is with paper towels And other things about my place The old begets the new And the things I need keep up to pace But you, my dear, you're gone forever You left no silly seed behind Save a rotten pit it lingers Cherry tombstone in my mind You're not a paper towel You're like the wind goes howling You fled as if the Autumn greys Were the heralds of final days Uprooting with your seeds and all Cruel harvest of love's first fall You're not a paper towel (no, no) You're like the wind goes howling (howl) Can't wrap you around my dowel (no, no) You're like the wind goes howling (howl) Bring her back for me Little Bo Peep I've got to find her - I can't go to sleep 06. In Between by Jude Christodal Well I knew a dealer, Dan, and he'd say "Don't worry 'bout me, I'm never gonna fit the plan And I'll never work for free" And then he spent some time in a State Penitentiary I believe he made ten cents an hour And I knew a girl in college as sweet as the summer sun Never worried about books and knowledge She was busy having too much fun And I hear these days she's living at home with a three-year-old son Reading up on women taking power The trees grow high And the leaves they grow green Hey me oh my, all the things that I have seen Don't be surprised little bro When the world turns out mean Life is what happens in between Well I know a man, old man, about ninety-five He could hardly see nor stand but he was goddamn glad to be alive And he said, "Hey son go and taste of life, Get in your car and drive." And that's exactly what I do. But out here on the road You know a man leads a simple life Don't carry no heavy loads And he don't get time for the lady or a wife But sometimes the stars I'm following Well they don't shine so bright And that's when I wish I was home with you The trees they grow high And the leaves they grow green Hey me oh my, all the things that I have seen Don't be surprised little bro When the world turns out mean Life is what happens in between Well you remember our dad, Remember what he said? He said, "This here's a family, Gonna be together til we're dead" Ten years and two homes ago It ain't quite what it turned out to be And I still hear those words They ring and ring and ring inside of me And the trees grow high And the leaves they grow green Hey me oh my, all the things that I have seen Don't be surprised little bro When the world turns out mean Life is what happens in between Life is what happens in between 07. Prophet by Jude Christodal I guess I make my way OK, I guess I do I guess I get by, just like you I'm keeping to myself though, if you don't mind I don't want to leave any fingerprints Moving down the boulevard, the walk of fame The Japanese they're up against it trying to match their hand sizes with the household names And I just try to bob and weave and keep from bumping into furry fairy prostitutes And make it to the corner gonna lose myself inside outside news and I remember when I first had come to town And you suggested I kneel and kiss the ground You were such a prophet then to me And you, you're nothing to me Nobody wants to help when you start with a please To supplicate is not the way you've got to put the other man down on his knees But that's not why I arrived, no that was not the reason Don't mind if I retire from a town without one just like a season... I remember when I first had come to town And you suggested I kneel and kiss the ground You were such a prophet then to me And you, you're nothing to me Waltzing slowly in counter time To your piercing cameras before me Moving closer I've Come to know that there's nothing in there to show me Pretty good show she said I kinda like your style Well, maybe we could go to bed and I could help you run the three-minute mile But first you gotta take the drinks you gotta learn to fake the smiles" She was a piece of past her prime real estate a late, great, tit turnstile... I remember when I first had come to town And you suggested I kneel and kiss the ground You were such a prophet then to me And you, you're nothing to me I remember when (repeat) 08. Life Lays Me Down by Jude Christodal She was a faker I was a fool I tried to make her I broke the rule And over coffee On the morning next I learned the rest Had regrets Life lays me down Life lays me down Life lays me down, down But my God will still come around around He was a salesman I was a fool He had retirement I had a stool And over bourbon And a Coca Cola I fought the bad guy And I kept my soul Life lays me down Life lays me down Life can lay me down down But my God will still come around around around around around And it's a full house flush With a bass and a brush And a subtle soft shade Of the cheekbone blade And the world turns around The sun which is found To be casually gunning For life overrunning In heels He squeals and reveals God don't cut deals He was a savior I was a child Programmed behavior And a Santa smile And over red wine And a little bread We commune with the divine And the diva in the priest-suit said Life lays me down Life lays me down Boy life lay you down, down But my God will still come around around around around around And it's a drag queen sheriff of a ghost town Probably since the last days of hate When the mushroom clouds came down Smoke signaling too late And CNN broke the blow dry grip For a flash of the end - like it's some hot tip And God If the last voice I hear on that community screen Sounds deeper than Yours and doubly as mean Then the Jedi knight was right Life lays me down Life lays me down Life lay you down Life can lay me down Life lays me down Life lays me down Life lay me right down oh now down Life can lay me down Life can lay me down Life can lay me down down down down Life can lay me down So hard sometimes I even sing light jazz fusion And it's a full house flush With a bass and a brush And a subtle soft shade Of the cheekbone blade And the world turns around The sun which is found To be casually gunning For life overrunning In heels He squeals and reveals God don't cut deals Life lays me down Life lays me down Life can lay me down But my God was still coming Around around around around around My God 09. Baby Ruth In Atlanta I asked you for a ride I was lonely And hoping to see you before you left town You said "I'm sorry I'd like to If only I had had the time maybe next time around" And I walked for miles and carried my bags On streets with no sidewalks in search of a ride It was me and a Baby Ruth A chewy chunk of chocolate truth And here from the bus I would like to say thanks Thank you I had imagined a breakfast of coffee And muffins maybe some cinnamon toast If I believed I'd gain your attendance I could have provided the ho-holy host And I walked for miles in search of a ride On streets with no sidewalks and carried my bags It was me and a Baby Ruth A chewy chunk of chocolate truth And here from the bus I'd just like to say thanks Thank you Thanks a lot Thank you Two seats behind me reclining An angel is peering at me now from under a book She catches me staring and smiles to the window Again I'm in love and with only a look And it must be it's true I am free And last night a bird you know who spoke to me Saying welcome the solitude it's your family tree And you would've been Only a heaven At noon I will fly to my city my prison And you will be forever gone from my life And soon I'll deny any lingering vision Of me in some catalogue and you as my wife 'Cause I walked for miles in search of a ride On streets with no sidewalks and steep muddy banks It was me and a Baby Ruth A chewy chunk of chocolate truth And here from the bus I'd just like to say thanks Thank you Thank you Thanks a lot Thank you I was walkin' down the road carryin' a heavy load Feelin' and believin' that might've been a prince toad But no Hidden - Shoes My Size Had all I can use of your silly teachin' Had all I can use of your silly preachin' And here's the news I make on my wise All I really need are some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size Must be nice to be boy genius In your paradise, you got the only penis I know it's true, I can hypotheticalize All I really need is some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size, nine-five, shoes my size I don't do much in the way of prayin' And I'm out of touch with religious sayin's I think your cross is just a little too wide All I really need is some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size Some shoes my size, nine-five, double wide, you provide 10. Love Letters by Jude Christodal Way down in SoHo town Where the lovely people love to be And they all write all their best lines down And they hope their hair turns white like Andy There's a man who was almost king He was lionized when they left the ring And some time away it was soon the end And the truth is there's no one you can depend on And love, I know you're gone for good I can't go back, but I know I should A Boticellian beauty she was with a body of jelly And a booty because she turned the corner She turned some heads and Before it was cool she wore black and blue Keds Sit and spin his old thirty-threes It was groovy again to know Chucky's In Love with a friend You can fall in the arms of each other And nothing is like that brother And love, I know you're gone for good I can't go back, but I know I should Love is larger than letters Taking up his sword again It was a Mont-Blanc monogram pen And he wielded the power of his PhD While he sat there and glouded his Greek screen tragedy And love, I know you're gone for good I can't go back, but I know I should Love, I know you're gone for good I can't go back, but I know I should Love is larger than letters 11. Cammie by Jude Christodal I got a letter today An invitation And the writing looked like you Hello how are you and by the way Please RSVP I do I thought of writing sad words of how it used to be But I didn't wanna bring you down I guess the bells will ring pretty well there without me Don't worry 'bout me baby I'll wear the thorny crown I will play the clown If you think that I don't love you, you're dead wrong And that don't matter anyway I couldn't bear to see you up there with a white dress on Here's my vow to you I'll stay away I remember when in a lover's whisper you said No other man would ever share your bed Well we both know that's not been so And I wish I'd never let you go now You found a better man instead I wish you health and wealth and a white house on a hill and I I hope you'll raise a family Little boy and a little girl, a little more joy in this little old world Well, that'd be enough for me If you think that I don't love you, you're dead wrong And that don't matter now anyway I couldn't bear to see you up there with a white dress on Here's my vow to you I'll stay away Time rolls on And dreams they die And I've thrown out the pictures I had of you and I And if you're ever wondering if love can be true Well think of me, my baby darling, like I, like I do Ole friendships fade away, love falls apart And you've not spent a single day outside my heart And there's just one more dream I have inside for you I hope you're smiling when he turns around and says I do I do 12. More Than I Wanted by Jude Christodal I heard nothing but the empty slap of words That was all I heard when you spoke to me (Ahhh) I want you You asked me if I knew what a nipple was for Put me on the floor and then raped me to explore (Ahhh) I found you I had much more than I wanted I found much more than I gave The lives we live in are too complex for words And yet we are turds of great colossal birds In the sky Way up high Cock-a-doodle-do I found much more than I wanted I got much more than I gave Mary had a little boy and a little lamb Who am I? And why are you? I got much more than I wanted I got much more than I gave |
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